


The Journey Ends With You

by Cecilia1204



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Thorin Lives, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Female Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-20
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2017-12-27 03:32:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 167,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/973807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cecilia1204/pseuds/Cecilia1204
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Thorin banishes his lover from Erebor for stealing the Arkenstone, a broken hearted Bella Baggins returns to the Shire to discover Bag End is not as empty as she thought it was.  Can Thorin ever get his hobbit back?<br/>Post BoFA where Thorin doesn't die (because I hate that), feminine Bilbo</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I now have a Tumblr account: queenoferebor1204  
> Mainly about Richard Armitage but other things I like

Chapter 1

“You miserable hobbit! You traitorous female! I curse Gandalf for his choice of you! I would toss you down onto the rocks. You deserve no better!”

Bella Baggins, gasping for breath under his choking hold on her, stared through eyes blurred with tears at the man she loved. The rage and hate in his blue eyes as he shook her made her certain that he was going to carry out his threat and cast her down onto the sharp rocks below. She could feel his nails digging into the soft skin of her neck, sure that he had drawn blood. 

Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain, the dwarf she had fallen in love with, had made love with, the one she wanted to marry, was gone. In his place was this stranger, spewing hateful words as he dangled her over the battlements located above the great front doors of Erebor. A stranger who, despite his deepest fear, had succumbed to the gold sickness that plagued his grandfather Thror and who now valued a rock, the cursed Arkenstone, more than the woman he claimed to love. 

All Bella had wanted was to protect Thorin, protect all her beloved dwarves. She knew what the Arkenstone meant to Thorin - he’d spoken of it often enough on their quest - but all Bella could see was that he was going to be dragged into a war with the men from Lake Town and the elves of Mirkwood. And they only numbered thirteen. Thirteen against two armies. Even holed up within Erebor their deaths seemed a certainty from either a weapon or starvation. Thorin refused to negotiate with the men and elves, declaring he would rather die than give them one single piece of his gold and had sent for his cousin Dain, from the Iron Hills to help him fight if necessary. So Bella took matters into her own hands. There was no way she could let Thorin die, not after all they’d been through to reclaim his home.

When she accidentally found the Arkenstone she had been awed by the gem. About the size of her two fists, it seemed to glow with an unearthly light. Gazing into its depths, Bella could see what seemed to be all the colours of the universe and she was almost hypnotised by the beauty of it. Normally hobbits aren’t that interested in things like gold and gems, preferring the beauty of flowers and the love of growing things but something inside her wanted desperately to keep it for herself. Why shouldn’t this gem be her payment for her help with the quest? Hadn’t she been the one to face the dragon, risking her own life? That it rightfully belonged to Thorin didn’t seem to matter at that point in time. 

A voice in her head urged her to keep her discovery from Thorin. Already there was something different about him. He had become distant from her, not even wanting to lay with her at night, preferring to be in the vast room of gold while searching frantically for the Arkenstone, the gem he felt provided proof of his right to rule, little knowing that Bella already had it in her backpack. Watching him, Bella felt a sting of guilt at her deception but it wasn’t strong enough to make her want to give him the gem. 

It wasn’t until the men of LakeTown, led by Bard, marched on Erebor to demand their share of the gold for killing the dragon that Bella’s heart began to bleed as she saw the lure of the gold sickness begin to take her love. That Bard was accompanied by Thranduil, the Elvenking of Mirkwood and his army of elves simply enraged Thorin even further, practically ensuring he wouldn’t negotiate even if the growing gold sickness hadn’t been a factor. The days drew on, with repeated demands made by Bard that were furiously rejected by Thorin unless Thranduil returned to his kingdom. They could all see that this standoff would end in bloodshed if neither side backed down.

Meanwhile, the entire Company could see the change in Thorin. He was quick to anger and had even shouted at Fili when his nephew had tentatively pointed out that their food stocks were running low. He was spending hours in the treasury room alternatively either digging through the gold or just sitting and admiring the metal with an unnatural gleam in his eyes. Nothing else seemed to matter.

And here, now, was the culmination of that madness. 

It was when Bella had searched in her pack for another handkerchief and had seen the Arkenstone wrapped in her shirt that the idea had come to her. This stone was what was being coveted by the three races, make it four if she included herself. Even as the idea gained momentum in her mind, Bella knew that Thorin would be enraged and would probably see it as a betrayal on her part. Though she desperately wanted to keep the gem, the reality of their situation was getting clearer with every hour and her need to keep her dwarves alive became her main priority. 

When she snuck out and offered the gem to Bard of Lake Town so that he may have a bargaining tool that would hopefully avoid bloodshed, she expected that she would incur the wrath of Thorin. That he may hate her for a while. The lure of the gem seemed to fade to nothing more than a guilty memory when faced with the reality of their situation. Bella held a faint hope that Thorin would somehow understand her reasoning for what she was doing. It seemed like wishful thinking yet she would rather a live Thorin hate her than for her to mourn for a dead love who had died so needlessly. 

Bella never believed that Thorin would kill her for her perceived treachery. 

“Uncle, NO!” yelled Kili, snapping out of the stunned paralysis that seemed to take hold when Thorin grabbed Bella and held her over the drop. He had seen Thorin in a rage before, but this was beyond that. This was madness.

Kili’s voice seemed to rouse the rest of the Company from its shock as both Fili and Kili moved to grab Thorin, each taking hold of an arm and attempting to drag both him and Bella back from the edge.

“Uncle, don’t do this,” pleaded Fili. 

Something in his voice seemed to penetrate the murderous fog clouding Thorin’s mind. He took a step back, loosening his hold a fraction, just enough for Bella to take a ragged breath. 

“Why should I not toss this traitor down to the men and elves she so loves?” thundered Thorin. “She stole from the King which is punishable by death.”

“But uncle, you love her,” replied Kili, his voice thick with unshed tears.

“Love? How could I love a treacherous rat?”

“Please uncle, let her go. You are hurting her,” pleaded Fili in despair. “Please.”

To everyone’s relief, Thorin took a couple of steps back before dropping Bella onto the floor with enough force that Bella winced in pain. Her hands went to her throat as she took great gulps of air and could feel the tenderness that would become bruises. Looking down at her fingers she could see blood mixed with her tears and yet, none of that hurt as much as the pain in her heart.

“I’m…I’m s…sorry, Thorin,” she rasped, her voice raw from her tears and from her bruised windpipe. “I…I just didn’t…want any of you…to die. I love you.”

“So you would steal from me, like those wretched elves? You would see me appear weak before their eyes?” he roared in fury.

“No! I…I just wanted to…prevent a fight. Over… gold,” she replied, her sobs making it hard to speak.

“That is MY gold!” he thundered. “MINE!”

“Listen…to yourself, Thorin. The people of Lake Town…they…they deserve help to rebuild.”

“That was not for you to decide! The Arkenstone belongs to my people and you dare give it to my enemies. You truly are a lying, thieving burglar, just like Gandalf said, curse him.”

“Bard will return it for a fair share to help his people and rebuild his city,” she pleaded. 

“Be quiet, thief! I will not kill you, though you deserve it. Be gone from my sight and my mountain. If I ever see your face here again, you will be killed.” Thorin turned away to return inside.

“Thorin!” she cried. 

“Get the thief off this mountain,” he instructed the dwarves. “NOW!” 

Bella’s last sight of her beloved was the angry line of his back as he stalked back into the mountain, no doubt to relieve his anger amongst his precious gold. Grief overwhelmed her and she barely noticed when she was gently pulled to her feet. Looking up, she looked into the tear-filled eyes of Bofur.

“I’m sorry, lass. I…I wish…”

“I…I know, Bofur,” she tried to reassure him through her tears. It wasn’t their fault and she could not blame them for having to carry out Thorin’s wishes, however much it pained them.

“Bella!” cried Kili as he hugged her, tears running down his face. “I…I hate him,” he mumbled.

Gasping, Bella took his face in her hands. “No, Kili! He’s your uncle and you love him, just as he loves you and Fili.”

“That’s not my uncle. I…I don’t know who that is, but it’s not my uncle.”

“Lass, I’m sorry, but we have to lower you down,” interrupted Balin gruffly. Bella could see the sadness in his eyes and nodded slowly. 

She looked around at the Company, wanting one last look at the dwarves who had become her family and were so dear to her. Dwalin, Gloin and Nori all stared at the ground, unable to look her in the eye, discomfort visible in their faces. Bifur, Oin and Dori were shaking their heads in sadness and disappointment. Whether in disappointment at her actions or Thorin’s, she couldn’t tell. Fili, his eyes red, held her backpack, Bombur wringing his hands next to him.

Hearing a whimper, Bella turned her head and saw Ori, leaning against Kili, crying his heart out. Lovely, gentle Ori whom she had come to see as almost like a child .

Unable to help herself, Bella took him into her arms. “Oh Ori. Please don’t cry,” she whispered. “I’ll be alright.”

“I don’t want you to go, Bella,” he sobbed. “You… you belong here.”

“I have to go, Ori. Thorin has commanded it and he is the King.”

“But…but it’s not…right. He’s…not…”

“Shush,” she stopped him, not wanting him to defy his king. It was one thing for her to defy Thorin, but Ori was a dwarf and this was his home and she would not have Thorin’s anger rain down on him for going against his leader’s wishes. “I don’t want you to get into trouble, Ori. I will miss you and if…if you ever…ever pass by the Shire…” She didn’t finish her sentence.

Ori nodded sadly. “I will miss you too, Bella.”

“Lass, please…” reminded Balin, his eyes suspiciously moist.

Bella let go of Ori and nodded. Fili gave her the backpack before hugging her tightly.

“I’m sorry Bella,” he whispered. “I worry about Uncle.”

Bella gave him a watery smile. “It’s not your fault. You will be a fine ruler one day.” She kissed him on the cheek and whispered, “Look after him,” before letting go. Fili simply nodded.

Balin wrapped the rope around her waist as she secured the backpack. Dwalin and Dori moved forward to lower her down. With a last look, she sat on the battlement, waiting for the first drop. Normally that would terrify her, but now she couldn’t even bring herself to care. 

Dwalin ordered them to hold on to the rope securely and Bella was just about to push herself off when Kili ran forward and engulfed her in his arms. Bella couldn’t help the slight wince where Thorin’s dropping of her had given her bruises.

“I love you, Bella,” he mumbled.

“I love you too, Kili,” she replied, her tears beginning again. “I have to go,” she insisted when he shook his head, not letting her go. During the journey, she had grown close to Kili, who in her eyes was little more than a teenager. He had told her stories about his mother, Dis, who was Thorin’s sister and how he missed her and somehow he had come to see Bella as something of a substitute mother. His sunny nature reminded her of home and he had quickly found a place in her heart. At times during the beginning of their journey, Bella had often felt that Kili was her only friend. Leaving him hurt. 

“No, it’s not right.”

“I have to, Kili.” 

“Then I’ll come with you.”

Pulling back a little, she looked at his eyes, red-rimmed from crying. “Please, don’t make this harder for me,” she pleaded, not sure if her heart could break any further. “You need to stay here. This is your home now. Fili needs you. So does your uncle, even if he doesn’t know it right now.” 

Kili, after a long moment, nodded slowly and released her. Her pain was so clearly etched on her face and in that moment he truly hated his uncle. Thorin was supposed to protect and love her and instead had nearly killed her. All for some stinking pile of gold and a rock. He didn’t know how he would ever look at his uncle with the same respect again.

With a nod to Dwalin, Bella signalled that she was ready to be lowered. She took one last look at her dwarves and with a small wave of goodbye to the Company, she pushed herself off the ledge.

Bella looked up as the rope lowered her inch by inch. All the dwarves, except for Dwalin and Dori who were carefully holding the rope, were looking over the battlement at her, their faces showing varying degrees of sadness and grief.

Every foot carried Bella further away from her dwarves, from Thorin, and she didn’t know if she would ever be able to fill the chasm in her chest where her heart once resided.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Bella lay on her bedroll in one the tents set up by Bard’s army, numb with despair. The tears had finally stopped but now a sort of nothingness seemed to have taken over. Thorin’s words kept playing in her head over and over, and her mind’s eye kept seeing his eyes, those wonderful blue eyes that had so captivated her, glaring at her with hate. 

If only she could sleep. It had been nearly a day since she had been banished from the mountain and she had not slept a moment in that time and how she wished that she could, just to escape the memory of Thorin, if only for a short time. Wearily she felt for the silver braid clasp that Thorin had given her forgetting for a moment that it must have fallen out when Thorin had attacked her. She had cried so hard when she’d realised that her one physical reminder of their love was now gone as well.

It seemed that Thorin’s rage had not gone unnoticed by the men below. They and the elves had seen Bella dangling over the edge and it was only that Bard ordered them not to fire, fearing she would plunge to her death, that Thorin and his Company had not received a volley of arrows. When she was lowered safely instead, Bard ordered that she be brought to his tent where he could protect her.

While Bella was grateful that Bard and his men had shown her the utmost courtesy, providing her with food and shelter, she was just too upset to show much appreciation. A part of her wanted nothing more than to go home, back to the Shire and leave this accursed place, the other wanted to stay near to Thorin even if it meant her death.

Regardless, she could not leave yet as she needed a guide and provisions, something Bard could not give her, not while he was trying to persuade Thorin to give up Dale’s share of the treasure. Persuade? As the heir of Girion of Dale, Bard wanted to restore his city so that the descendants of those who had perished or fled from Smaug’s wrath could return home as well as provide for those left homeless by Smaug’s attack on Lake Town. A part of the gold that Smaug had hoarded had belonged to the city of men and Bard was demanding that back from Thorin. Of course, as another King without a kingdom, getting his hands on part of the gold would virtually ensure that the descendants of Dale would accept his claim to the throne with little or no dissent so his motivation was not entirely selfless.

The small part of Bella that wasn’t wallowing in misery shook its head at the lack of diplomacy shown by Bard. Thorin may have been more disposed to negotiate if Bard had approached the mountain with a few men instead of a virtual army making demands. Thorin’s pride had carried him through the decades of exile in Ered Luin. At times, his pride was all he had. How could Bard talk to Thorin as if he were no better than a common servant? He obviously thought the Company had perished at Smaug’s hands and the realisation that they were alive and well must have been a rude shock. To then proceed to threaten Thorin, instead of sending his men back and approaching in a more conciliatory manner just escalated hostilities and practically ensured Thorin would not be reasoned with, gold sickness notwithstanding. 

Bringing elves too! What was Bard thinking? Bella had no sympathy whatsoever with Thranduil, the King of Mirkwood. Bella knew that he had turned his back on Thorin’s people the day Smaug attacked Erebor, not even offering aid to the wounded and homeless. She could almost understand Thranduil’s reluctance to fight Smaug, after all the chances against a dragon were slim to none, but to abandon the dwarves afterward? Bella could understand Thorin’s hatred for elves, Mirkwood elves anyway. Then on their quest he had done nothing but hinder them, imprisoning the dwarves and only Bella’s magic ring and her smarts had allowed them to escape. How dare he now come and demand a share of the gold? He could go and rot as far as Bella was concerned. Maybe Thranduil’s leaving would have eased tensions but he stayed as if he had every right to be here and Bella cursed him for it.

Still, with Thorin now succumbing to the gold sickness, Bella doubted that any approach would have been any more successful. She only hoped that her sacrifice would lead to some sort of agreement and avoid bloodshed. She didn’t know how long it would take Dain to arrive from the Iron Hills, but she had a bad feeling that his army’s arrival would appear as an aggressive move by Thorin, so she prayed some resolution would occur before then.

Would giving the Arkenstone to Thorin have eased the gold sickness? Bella knew she could have promised Bard to give him her share of the gold instead of giving him the gem. Did she really have to betray Thorin’s trust by giving away the stone when she knew how much it meant to him? Could she have used some other bargaining chip, whatever that may be?

Then she remembered the madness in Thorin’s eyes as he shook her and her heart, or what was left of it, feared the worst. If she, who he had proclaimed to love and want to make his queen, couldn’t make him see reason, what hope did anyone else? All the parties had their own agenda’s and there seemed to be no middle ground.

“Bella! My dear!” 

With a start, Bella sat up only to see the shadow of a tall figure at the entrance to the tent, his flowing robes identifying him instantly.

“Gandalf! You’re here!” she cried, unable to stop the tears that began again at the sight of her friend. Hugging him tightly, she succumbed to the need for comfort she desperately needed. She knew she was probably making him terribly uncomfortable, but she couldn’t help it.

“There now,” Gandalf soothed, stroking her honeyed curls, much as a father would do to comfort his child. He let her cry for a few moments before gently lifting up her chin to look into her eyes. He winced internally at the aching pain he saw in them. He couldn’t help but feel guilty that his involving her in Thorin’s quest was the cause for the agony she was suffering now. “Hush now, my dear. Tell me what has happened.”

Settling himself down onto Bella’s mattress, he pulled Bella down to sit next to him and urged her to speak.

“It’s Thorin. He’s succumbed to the gold sickness, Gandalf,” Bella told him sadly. She then proceeded to tell Gandalf all about the Arkenstone and her actions which led to Thorin banishing her from Erebor on pain of death. “He loved me, Gandalf. I know he did but once we got inside that mountain, the gold got a grip on him and the man I love is gone. I wish we had never gotten into that mountain. I wish I had never found that stone,” she cried bitterly.

Gandalf couldn’t help but feel anger at the dwarf king who had so hurt his little friend. He could see the angry bruises on her throat, the imprints of Thorin’s fingers clearly visible. However justified or furious Thorin felt, he should never have laid a hand on her in anger. Bella had shown courage she never knew she had, had saved Thorin from getting killed by Azog and was now being treated like a common thief. He had worried about gold sickness as it did seem to affect the line of Durin but had hoped that Thorin would be strong enough to overcome it, considering how he had seen his grandfather so affected. It seemed he was wrong.

“I’m so sorry, my dear,” he said sincerely. “I’m sorry I led you into this. I know it’s not what you wanted.”

Bella shook her head. “No, it’s not your fault. I signed that contract of my own free will and I don’t regret any of it.” She took a deep breath. “Not even Thorin…” she whispered. “I just wish…”

“So do I,” he nodded sadly.

The two sat for a few moments, lost in their own thoughts. The silence was interrupted by Bella. “Gandalf, what’s going to happen? With Thorin, I mean. I know he’s sent for his cousin Dain but they will have to go through the armies of Bard and Thranduil to get to Thorin and I can’t see that happening without a fight. Thorin will see that as a declaration of war. I gave that gem to Bard in order to avoid a war and it looks like it will be for nothing.” She looked at him pleadingly. “Can you not do something? Try to get Thorin to see reason? Get Bard to back off? Make Thranduil leave? Anything?”

Gandalf sighed deeply. “I will certainly try my dear, but you know the stubbornness of dwarves. It is bad at the best of times, but in the throes of gold sickness, well, it may nigh be impossible. And I don’t hold high hopes of reasoning with Bard and Thranduil either.”

Bella sank her head into her hands despairingly, knowing all too well the truth of Gandalf’s words. She could clearly remember the incident with the trolls, how Thorin’s insistence on camping in that particular spot, despite Gandalf’s misgivings, had nearly led to their all becoming the trolls’ supper. She recalled how Thorin still treated her harshly at that stage of their quest despite it being her actions that stalled for time until Gandalf was able to return and save them. She remembered feeling a sharp pain in her chest when Thorin would not even acknowledge her part in their rescue, his words to her as harsh as ever. 

“I know, Gandalf,” she whispered. Taking a shuddering breath, she looked at him. “I want to go home. I need to go home. There’s nothing here for me anymore, Gandalf. Even if I wanted to stay I couldn’t as Thorin promised he’d kill me if he saw me again.” Oh how it hurt to say those words. “Can you take me home, Gandalf?”

Gandalf gave her a sympathetic smile. “Once I get this business sorted out, one way or the other, I promise I will take you back to the Shire.”

“Can you promise that there won’t be any fighting?” she asked him despite already knowing the answer.

He shook his head sadly. “You know I can’t promise that, Bella, but I will do my very best to make sure Thorin stays alive.”

“I know.” 

Before any more words could be spoken, a messenger came rushing into the tent. “Mithrandir! Lord Bard needs to speak to you urgently!”

Gandalf and Bella looked at each other questioningly as Gandalf rose to his feet. 

“I must go, my dear. I will return when I can,” he said, patting her gently on the shoulder.

“Do you think Dain’s army has arrived?” she asked fearfully.

“I fear that may be the case,” he agreed. Seeing the panic in her eyes he tried to reassure her. “Fear not, little one. Things will work out as they are meant to happen.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” she replied worriedly.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

The stench of the dragon was a pervasive presence over much of Erebor’s interior. Thorin’s lip curled disgustedly every time he caught a whiff of the smell. It was particularly strong within the treasury room as that was where Smaug had spent most of his time, nestled amongst the piles and piles of dwarven gold and treasures. Thorin was determined to get rid of all traces of that foul creature even if it meant washing every single piece of gold and every artefact by hand.

Despite the smell, Thorin’s heart sang as he looked at the enormous amount of gold all around him. This... this was what he had longed for, for so long. The right to reclaim his home and his treasure. He and his people had suffered for so long, in exile and poverty and no man or damned elf was going to take it from him again!

Damn that traitorous hobbit! He was going to make her his queen! All this would have been hers but no, she believed that he was obligated to give away some of his treasure to the men of Lake Town. That he, Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain, needed to cower under the threat of the human and elven armies and negotiate with them. Over his dead body! Thorin Oakenshield bowed to no-one, much less the thrice-damned Elvenking Thranduil who turned his back on the dwarves in their time of need, imprisoned his Company within his cells and now demanded their treasure. 

Thorin let out a roar of fury. Damn her! Damn her and all hobbits! She had stolen his Arkenstone, his birthright and had given it to the enemy. He had trusted her, let her into his heart when it had been cold for so long and this is what she did with it? How dare she say she loved him! It was all a trick. All of it. Every kiss, every touch, every word. Bella Baggins was lucky he hadn’t killed her. It was no less than she deserved. 

He looked down at his clenched hands, remembering the look of terror on her face as he held her by the throat. The same soft throat that he had kissed and tasted, so sweet and warm. He could still hear her soft purrs and moans as he suckled on the skin just below her ear as his body moved within hers, bringing both of them such pleasure, her hands gripping his hair as she shattered in ecstasy taking him along with her. Thorin closed his eyes as a wave of desire swept over him, his body reacting to the vivid images by becoming tight and flushed. Bella…

The tinkle of a gold coin dropping snapped him out of his reverie and as his eyes fell on the golden sheen of the mountain of treasure all traces of regret fled his mind. This was the important thing. This gold was all that mattered. The only thing that mattered. When he got the Arkenstone back, all would know that Thorin was the rightful ruler of Erebor and his kingdom would be envied throughout Middle Earth as it was before the dragon came.

It could have been minutes or hours later, as Thorin rummaged through the treasure, picking up golden chalices, gem encrusted necklaces and armour that the sound of hurried footsteps grew closer to the treasury room. Thorin’s first instinct was to reach for Orcrist, both to protect himself and his treasure.

“Thorin!” gasped Bofur, hand on his chest as he struggled to catch his breath. “Thorin, Dain’s army has arrived!”

“Mahal, this is good news! With his help, we can protect our mountain and treasure,” replied Thorin as he raced towards the battlement where the dwarves had been keeping watch for Dain and against any move made by the men and elves. 

Bofur followed behind his king, so Thorin didn’t see the look of disquiet on his face. He had seen the look on Thorin’s face as he entered the treasury and it filled him with dread. It was a look of avarice and obsession, the look some men would have when they looked upon the woman they desired, only this was for gold. Now Bofur loved gold and gems as much as any dwarf, but not to the extent that he would forsake his love as Thorin had done with Bella. Bofur had not slept a wink last night as the memories of Bella’s face kept resurfacing and he couldn’t help but feel guilty that he hadn’t done anything to help her. He should have spoken up in her defence, should have protected his little friend. That Thorin had harmed a woman, any woman, much less the woman he claimed to love, had Bofur terrified of the madness that seemed to have taken his king.

“Dain’s army is not being allowed through,” said Bofur as they ran. “The armies of the men and elves are refusing to let Dain get to us.”

“Bastards!” growled Thorin. “This will mean war if they don’t back down. Dain’s army will crush them like the filth they are.”

Once Thorin reached the battlement, threats were made between him and the leaders below. At one point Thorin grabbed Kili’s bow and let loose an arrow which luckily didn’t hit anyone but made the standoff even tenser. At this point the dwarves were certain it would come to a fight and none of them held out much hope, even if Dain managed to get through to help defend Erebor.

The tension was palpable and the archers from Bard’s and Thranduil’s army’s had their arrows pointed towards Thorin and his Company. It would just take one move from either side and there would be no turning back.

“STOP!”

All eyes turned to the owner of the voice. Pushing his way through Bard’s army, Gandalf made it to the doors of Erebor. “Stop this insanity.”

“The only insane one here is you, wizard,” yelled Thorin from above. “If you think you will make me give up my gold…”

“Your gold be damned!” roared Gandalf. “This is more important than your cursed gold, Thorin, son of Thrain. I have just had word that there is an army of orcs and goblins on their way. If you do not unite, their numbers will be enough to destroy you all!”

“What is this, Mithrandir?” asked Bard incredulously. “Orcs? Goblins?”

“The ravens that have long been the messengers of the dwarves of Erebor have brought word that there is a legion of orcs and goblins no more than a day away and they are intent on destroying everything and taking the mountain.”

“Over my dead body!” declared Thorin. 

“That is what you will be if you do not prepare,” replied Gandalf. “You must put aside your differences for now and stand together if you are to survive.”

“We will be safe inside Erebor,” claimed Thorin. “They will not be able to breach our gates.”

“And condemn everyone else? How long before you starve to death? Do you truly believe that you will hold out against that number of enemies? You have truly succumbed to the gold sickness if you believe that.”

Despite the murmurings of disquiet from his Company, Thorin refused to back down. Turning to them he began giving orders to shore up the gates and prepare to defend the mountain.

“Uncle? How are we to stop them?” asked a visibly nervous Fili. “Shouldn’t we help…”

“No! We will hold out. We will not help those who wish to steal from us,” declared Thorin. “Now, do as I say and get prepared.” 

As the dwarves moved to obey their leader, Thorin caught a glimpse of metal on the ground, glinting in the sun. Bending over, he took a closer look and realised it was the silver bead he had used to secure the braid he’d put in Bella’s hair. It was one engraved with the symbol of the House of Durin and signified to any who understood its meaning that Bella belonged to Thorin as his intended. 

With a hollow feeling in his stomach, Thorin picked up the bead, determinedly pushing away the memory of the night he gave it to Bella. With a shake of his head, he put the bead in his pocket and moved to assist his men.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Bella stood at the entrance of the tent and watched the hurried movements of the soldiers of Lake Town. It was obvious that something was happening and Bella could only pray that Thorin would come to his senses. She tried to ask a passing elven soldier for information but he only bowed quickly and hurriedly left to wherever he was headed.

She was about to set out to find someone who could tell her what was going on when she saw Gandalf hurrying towards her.

“Gandalf,” she cried in relief. At last, here was someone who could fill her in and tell her what was happening. 

“Bella,” he replied in a rush. “You must leave immediately. You need to head towards the forest.”

“What? Why?”

“An army of orcs and goblins are headed this way and they intend to kill anyone they can. If you stay you may be killed.”

“What about Thorin? What does he say?” she asked anxiously.

Gandalf just shook his head. “The sickness has a strong hold. He claims that he can hold out within the mountain.”

“But they don’t have much food! They will starve if the orcs lay siege,” she cried.

“I hope that he will see reason once they arrive. They will all have to band together, men, elves and dwarves, if they have any hope of coming out of this alive.”

Hobbit and wizard looked at each other, both their hearts filled with dread for what lay ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to jaydee09 for her insights and editing help.


	3. Chapter 3

 

Despite Gandalf’s insistence, Bella refused to leave and head towards the forest so he told her to find a hiding spot and be prepared to run if it came to it. She just couldn’t leave without knowing if Thorin would be alright. He may hate her now but she still loved him and she couldn’t live the rest of her life wondering if he had survived the battle. Oh, she had no illusions of helping him fight or anything like that. She was no fighter and any deeds she had performed during the quest were purely out of instinct and sheer panic and besides, Thorin would probably run her through with his sword if he saw her anywhere near him. Despite that, she would stay and help in any way she could, perhaps helping the wounded.

  
The first indication she got that the black armies had arrived was the distant rumbling of what sounded like thunder. The activity in the camp now became frenetic, the shouts of orders being given and the stomping of feet moving out to meet the enemy drowning out other noises.

  
It wasn’t long before sounds of fighting were heard and Bella could hardly bear hearing the cries of pain as weapons struck flesh, wounding or killing their target. Several times she was pushed aside as men and elves moved towards the fighting, joined now by Dain’s forces. Somehow, Bella made her way to a small outcropping of rock where she could see much of the fighting below her. It was horrible. Bodies lay strewn over the blood soaked ground as the vicious fighting carried on over and around them.

  
Bella couldn’t see her dwarves and part of her was glad they were still in the mountain as she was sure they would be killed if they joined in this fight, selfish as that thought was. She had not paid such a high price trying to keep Thorin safe only to lose him to an orc blade.

  
No sooner had she thought it, than the gates of Erebor opened and her heart sunk like lead when she saw Thorin race out and rush headlong into the battle followed by his loyal company.

  
“No, Thorin, no!” she whispered raggedly to herself.

  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  
The company sat huddled near the barricaded gate and Thorin was aware of the looks being sent his way, particularly from his nephews. It was impossible to miss Kili’s glares and looks of reproach from Fili. Thorin didn’t know if it was because of his treatment of the hobbit or because he refused to assist the armies outside to fight the orcish army. He suspected it was both.

  
None could miss the sounds of fighting outside and the Company grew more and more restless. It went totally against their nature to sit here cowering when they should be out there helping fight the scum. The warriors of the group were especially twitchy, in particular Dwalin, who was clenching and unclenching his fists around his war hammers. All his instincts urged him to go out there and kill as many of the filth as possible but his loyalty to Thorin was still stronger than his own wishes.

  
“Sitting here like cowards,” he murmured angrily to himself though it was audible to all of them.

  
During the standoff with Bard and Thranduil, Thorin had instructed the dwarves to search the treasury and surrounding rooms for armour and weapons that could be used to replace that which they had lost in Mirkwood when prisoners of the elves. Whilst they had managed to retrieve their weapons, their armour was long gone but there were many replacements to be found within Smaug’s hoard. All of them now donned breastplates and vambraces, which while not fitting perfectly, nevertheless provided them some sort of protection in the event of a fight.

  
“Thorin,” said Fili. When Thorin looked at him he continued. “We should be out there helping not in here hiding. Even if they are only men and elves, they still deserve our help against orcs and goblins. Nothing is worse than them,” he implored his uncle. “Dain’s army is also fighting. Will we leave them to die when they came to our aid?”

  
Thorin didn’t say anything but he could feel the guilt growing in his belly. With every glare and look from one of his men, the fog that had clouded his thinking since they entered the mountain seemed to lift. He began to question his actions as he became more and more ashamed of himself.

  
What had he done? Oh Mahal, what had he _done_?

  
He had done the very thing he had been so afraid of. He had succumbed to the lust for gold, just like his grandfather, forsaking the very person whom he loved most in the world. He had acted like a crazed man who cared for no one but himself and refused to listen to anyone, not his trusted friends, his nephews or the woman he loved. He had acted like the lowliest thug, not the king he was supposed to be.

  
He had physically hurt a woman. He had hurt his One, the love of his life, his Bella. Oh Mahal!

  
Thorin had to stop the groan from leaving his lips as the pain hit him harder than any sword could inflict. If he were alone he would have sobbed with remorse when he remembered her little face filled with terror and pain. He had sent her away, cursed her and called her things that had him wanting to cut out his tongue in self-disgust. Yes, she had deceived him and it hurt that she had put her trust in others and not him, that she preferred he look like a weak leader and give in to their demands; but she didn’t deserve to be nearly killed by his own hands for it. She, who had wanted to help him, love him and wanted only his safety even if he could not agree with her method of achieving it. He deserved to die for what he had done.

  
Why were they inside when there was a battle going on outside? He was shaming himself and all his ancestors by not fighting. He had not suffered so much and for so long in order to reclaim his kingdom, as had his loyal Company, only to see it fall to orcs and goblins as had so many other Dwarven kingdoms.

  
The madness now lifted, Thorin’s mind was the clearest it had been since they entered Erebor and there was only one thing to be done. Protect their home or die trying. He would rather die with honour out there than sit in here like a coward. As he looked at his men, he could see they all had the same thought.

  
Standing up, he drew Orcrist from its scabbard and faced his men. “My head is clear now. I have acted in a manner not befitting a king and for that I apologise to you all. It is not right for us to sit here and not defend our home. Will you follow your un-deserving king and fight for the honour of our race with me?”

  
A rumbling growl of approval was heard throughout the Company as they leapt to their feet, weapons brandished. With the strength of giants, the barricades were pulled away and the gates were opened. The scene before them was horrific but all the dwarves were ready to fight and die for their king and home.

  
 _“DU BEKAR!”_ cried Thorin.

  
“ _DU BEKAR_!” replied his men as they launched themselves into the fray.

  
As Thorin flung himself into the fight, urging the armies to rally to him, he prayed that Mahal would allow him to survive so that he might somehow have the chance to earn his beloved’s forgiveness.

  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  
It was chaos.

  
Bella couldn’t help the tears as she watched her dwarves run into the thick of the fighting, their bodies quickly surrounded by both allies and enemies. While she was proud of Thorin’s bravery as he charged headlong into the fray and quickly assumed leadership of the massed armies of men, elves and dwarves, rallying the forces as his majestic figure cut down orcs and goblins at terrifying speed, for the most part she was simply terrified. There were just too many of the enemy. Desperately, she tried to keep Thorin in sight but it became increasingly difficult with so many bodies surrounding him. She was also trying to watch for her dwarves, making out Dwalin’s war hammers as they crushed enemy bodies with the ferocity that he was known for. She thought she could see Kili and Fili near to Thorin and wrung her hands in fear. Kili was fighting with his sword, and while more than competent, the bow was his natural weapon and Bella was terrified he would be struck down. She prayed that Fili and Thorin would be able to stay close and protect him if necessary.

  
On top of all the chaotic fighting, elven archers were firing arrows into the enemy forces and Bella couldn’t help worry that her boys might be hit by friendly fire in all the confusion.

  
So intent was she on keeping watch for the dwarves, Bella didn’t notice the lone orc that had climbed up onto the outcropping, his face breaking out in a ghastly smile when he saw her. The first she knew of him was when he grabbed the hair at the back of her head and pulled her upright, his evil cackle causing her heart to nearly stop in horror and pain.

  
“What a tasty morsel,” he grunted, his foul breath making her gag. “Might have me some fun ‘fore I kill ya.”

  
Oh why didn’t I put on my ring, Bella thought desperately as she struggled against the orc’s grip and felt a clump of hair being pulled out of her head. She cried out when he threw her onto the sharp ground and followed with his body, nearly knocking the breath from her. She was kicking and scratching him with all her strength but he only laughed evilly as he grappled with her trousers.

  
Frantically trying to get a grip on Sting, Bella attempted to bring her knee up to hit him in the groin but he had her legs pinned down. With his body in the way, she couldn’t reach the hilt of her sword properly.

  
Thorin, help me, she pleaded as it looked likely that she was going to die but before that, this orc was going to rape and torture her first. Already she could feel her lip swelling where he had backhanded her.

  
Images of Thorin looking down at her with tenderness in eyes as he tried to teach her some moves with her little sword flooded her mind. His words that she must do whatever it takes to survive came back to her so strongly that she could almost hear his voice speaking to her and it gave her the strength for one last effort to fight back.

  
Almost without thinking, Bella leaned up and bit the orc right on the nose. The taste of his foul skin made her heave but she refused to let go until, with a cry of pain, the orc released her just enough that she was able to grab Sting. Letting go of his nose, Bella brought the blade up as much as she could and it was enough to cut into the creature’s hip and groin area.

  
Screaming, the orc pulled himself up to see what had cut him, black blood pouring from the wounds on his nose and hip and Bella used the opportunity to scramble back in order to get to her feet and run.

  
The orc howled in rage and lifted his blade in order to strike her down but at that moment an arrow struck him in the face, throwing him back against the rocks where his limbs shook briefly before he died.

  
Bella panted with relief and terror and nearly screamed when a hand gently took her arm. Looking up, she saw the handsome face of one of the Mirkwood elves who was pulling her to her feet.

  
“My lady, you should not be here. It is much too dangerous for a woman, much less a Halfling,” he warned with a frown. “What are you doing here?”

  
“I was trying to hide but obviously I didn’t do a very good job,” she replied with a grimace. “He came from nowhere.”

  
“You need to get out of here quickly,” the elf warned. “There are groups of orcs headed this way which is why I am here, trying to stop the advance. Others will arrive shortly and it will be fierce. Please, my lady, run from here.”

  
Bella nodded quickly. “Yes. Yes, I’m going. Thank you for saving my life,” she gave him a small smile of gratitude.

  
The elf bowed his head in acknowledgement. “For a tiny thing, you were doing remarkably well but I am glad I was able to assist you. Now go before you get even more hurt,” he insisted forcefully.

  
With a wave Bella took off, deciding to head towards the gates of Erebor. If she could get inside then she could hide within its cavernous interior. She wanted to keep a look out for Thorin, but it was impossible to stay here when the fight was spreading out and her spot would be overrun by enemy and ally alike.

  
As she made her way towards the gate, she decided to put the ring on as it would give her the chance to pass by unseen. The encounter with the orc had been terrifying and she didn’t want to get caught by another one as she weaved her way between fighting bodies.

  
Once the ring was on her finger the world became shrouded in the grey, hazy way that the ring caused. Bella didn’t like wearing it as it made her feel cold and hopeless, as if all the joy was sucked out of her but there was no choice now. She could see soldiers fighting against goblins but they all seemed to be moving in slow motion. It was a very disturbing sensation.

  
Bella was just making her way around a large boulder when she felt something strike her head hard. The blow made the dizziness already caused by the ring even worse and she stumbled towards the boulder. She reached out to use the rock as a support but missed and fell forward, striking her forehead against the rock, the world fading into blackness.

  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  
The fighting was vicious and within moments Thorin was covered in blood, both red and black. Orcrist was but a blur as he slashed and hacked at any foul creature that tried to attack him, all the while trying to keep an eye on his nephews. He simply couldn’t lose them too.

  
From the corner of his eye he could see Dwalin fighting ferociously, his war cries enough to strike fear into the heart of most enemies. Beside him stood his brother Balin, always ready to have his back if needed. They were his best friends and there was no one he’d rather fight alongside.

  
Thorin manoeuvred closer to Fili and Kili, both dispatching orcs and goblins as quickly as they could but the wave of enemies seemed never ending. Around him Thorin could see bodies of men, elves and dwarves and could only hope their pain had ended quickly.

  
Suddenly he heard Kili cry out in pain. Turning swiftly he saw blood pouring from Kili’s arm where a goblin had slashed him. With a roar of fury, Thorin swung his blade, beheading the beast.

  
“Are you alright?” he asked his nephew while fighting off more goblins.

  
“Yes, I can still fight,” grunted Kili, using his good arm to keep hacking at the enemy.

  
“Stay near me,” urged Thorin.

  
Fili, covered in blood, looked worriedly at his brother, his twin blades a blur of motion. “There’s too many of them!” he cried out and grunted when he was pushed to the side. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Bofur give him a grim smile as he finished off the orc that was about to stab him in the back. “Thanks.”

  
Bofur nodded. “You’re welcome, lad,” he said with a grin before returning to the fight.

  
The battle raged on and Thorin was suffering from cuts and bruises all over his body but he kept fighting with all the strength he had. As a trained warrior he was almost on autopilot, his actions coming automatically leaving his mind some room to think of her. He hoped that Bella had fled the area long before the fighting started and was safe. Thinking of her gave him strength to keep going, determined to live and find her again.

  
“Thorin!”

  
Looking up, he saw the ghostly figure of his nemesis. Azog grinned maliciously as he began taunting him, his warg’s white fur and teeth dripping with the blood of his previous victims.

  
Lifting himself to his full height, Thorin stared down his opponent and knew this fight would be to the bitter end. When Azog said something in his foul language and laughed evilly, Thorin gave his loudest battle cry and rushed at the evil creature in a scene reminiscent of that on the cliff top after escaping Goblin Town.

  
Sheer fury, pain and revenge fuelled Thorin, his blade raised ominously. With a cry he brought Orcrist’s blade down and slashed the warg’s neck, almost decapitating him. The animal fell instantly tossing Azog onto the ground. With the advantage of not having to fight the animal as well as its master, Thorin ran forward to finish off his enemy but was hit from the side by another goblin, making him stumble and nearly fall. The distraction gave Azog enough time to get up and charge at him and Thorin only managed to raise his shield in the nick of time. For a few moments they were evenly poised, neither gaining over the other but Azog found another reserve of strength and pushed Thorin back, just enough to stab the spikes he used as a hand through Thorin’s side, Thorin not quick enough to use the shield to protect himself.

  
Thorin cried out and stumbled back, holding his arm with the shield to the wound and trying to stem the blood. His heavy armour had protected him to a degree but the imperfect fit had left enough of a gap to allow the weapon to pierce him and the wound still felt deep. Gritting his teeth, Thorin struck back, managing to cut Azog across the face but he began to feel lightheaded as he lost blood. Knowing he had to finish this before he passed out, Thorin almost threw himself at the orc but Azog managed to lift his own crude shield and strike Thorin on the side of his head with a force that caused the dwarf’s knees to buckle and bend. Unable to stay on his feet, Thorin fell to the ground with a thud. The blackness was trying to take him but he was fighting it with everything he had just to stay conscious.

  
Looking up through a haze of pain, he saw Azog standing over him, a cruel smile on his lips as he raised his spiked arm in order to finish him.

  
 _I love you, Bella_ was his last thought as the spike began to lower.

  
No! No, this foul creature will not take another of Durin’s line! For my grandfather, my father and for myself, I will not let him kill me.

  
Summoning the last reserves of whatever strength remained, Thorin lifted his blade at the same moment that Azog leant towards him. As the sword pierced Azog’s flesh, his own downward momentum effectively impaled him upon the blade, cutting through flesh and organs.

  
With a choked gurgle, Azog fell forward onto Thorin, his own spikes stabbing Thorin in the upper chest. For an endless moment the mortal enemies stared at each other, both knowing this was the end, for one of them at least. Finally, Azog breathed his last, his body crushing Thorin’s.

  
“Uncle!”

  
Trying to fight off the blackness that was threatening to take him, Thorin could vaguely make out his nephew’s voice. He was being crushed by Azog’s body and breathing was nearly impossible, not to mention he still had Azog’s spikes buried in his flesh.

  
“Ki…li!” he whispered, his voice faint as he struggled to stay conscious.

  
Panting heavily, his arm hanging uselessly beside him, Kili knelt down and began trying to push Azog’s corpse off him, yelling out for help. Other hands appeared and together they freed Thorin.

  
“Uncle! He’s dead. You killed him. And look! The eagles and Beorn are here to help us,” he cried, his voice shaking with tears of pain and exhaustion.

  
Thorin managed to look up and saw an eagle throwing a number orcs against a mountain face before giving his nephew a faint smile. He tried to speak but his injuries finally took their toll and he lost consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos, comments and bookmarks. It's very much appreciated and welcomed.


	4. Chapter 4

_Oh, my head hurts!_

That was the first thought that ran through Bella’s mind when she regained consciousness. The throbbing pain was excruciating and felt like a thousand orcs were drumming on the inside of her skull. With a groan, Bella lifted her hands to her head in attempt to keep her brain from exploding. Several moments were spent just lying still as nausea swept over her.

When the immediate urge to throw up passed, Bella opened one eye and immediately felt sick again as the cold, hazy world of the ring came into view. She obviously still had the magic ring on and wondered why that was.

Then the events before she had passed out came flooding back with a vengeance. Thorin, the battle, the orc – all of it. Bella gasped as the memories assaulted her, making her head throb even more. Taking a deep breath, Bella attempted to get her bearings.

The first thing she noticed was that she was slightly wedged under a boulder, one leg in the gap between the rock and the ground, the other in open air. Several small rocks were digging into her skin where she lay on the hard ground so she shifted a little, trying to ignore the pain in her head and was relieved to find that she could easily pull her leg out and nothing seemed to be broken, except her head maybe. The nausea was ever present but she didn’t want to remove the ring until she was sure she was safely hidden, not wanting another encounter with an orc.

That’s when Bella became aware that the sounds of fighting were no longer present. Instead she could hear groans of pain and cries of anguish as names were called out, obviously in search of missing or hurt comrades.

Biting her lip, she slowly pushed herself upright and leaned back against the rock as she steadied herself. When she opened her eyes, even through the haze, she could see that the fighting was over. Instead, there were dwarves, men and elves searching through the bodies of their fallen comrades, looking for survivors. She watched one man kneel down and frantically try to awaken another man on the ground, only to lower his head in grief when realisation of his friend’s death struck. Tears sprang to her eyes as she watched him.

Thorin! Where was Thorin? Was he alive? The others? What happened to them all?

Fear for her dwarves struck panic into her heart as she stood up abruptly, her only thought to find them. That was until she nearly collapsed again as pain pierced her head so sharply that she had to hold onto the rock or fall. Taking deep gulps of air, she willed the pain to subside and shakily took off the ring. Other than dead ones, she couldn’t see any orcs or goblins near her so it should be safe now.

The instant the ring was off her finger, she felt slightly better. With the world in focus again the nausea subsided a little, enough to allow her to think a little more clearly, anyway. Now she had to find her boys.

Turning in the direction she had last seen Thorin, Bella began unsteadily making her way towards battle fields as her eyes strayed to the bodies on the ground, desperately hoping she wouldn’t see someone she knew. A couple of times her heart caught in her throat as she spotted an item of clothing that looked similar to what her dwarves had been wearing before bending over and realising it was someone else. Then guilt would strike her for being relieved that it was not who she was looking for, knowing that there may be someone who would mourn the dead person. The pain in her head was becoming almost unbearable but she could not stop until she knew.

_Please let Thorin be safe. Please. Please let all of them be safe._

As she was stepping over the body of a dead goblin, she swayed unsteadily and would have fallen onto it but for a hand that grabbed the back of her coat.

“The Halfling?” someone asked in confusion.

Looking up at the owner of the voice, her vision blurring, Bella could see it was a man, most likely one of Bard’s men. She opened her mouth to say something but it felt like it was stuffed with wool and couldn’t get any words out.

“Everyone thought you had fled the area,” the man continued as he held onto her shoulders to steady her. “Mithrandir was asking if anyone had seen you leave.”

“Mith…” was all she managed to utter.

“Come, he is over by the healing tents. I’m sure he will be very relieved to see his little friend.”

Bella tried to move her feet in order to follow him but the dizziness only got worse and she was sure she was going to collapse. The man turned around, saw her sway and in one move, picked her up in his arms. With their height difference she looked like a child being carried by a parent although she was most probably older than him.

With quick strides, the man picked his way through the bodies still on the ground and walked towards a group of tents that were situated just to the side of the front gates of Erebor. As they got closer, he asked an elf if he knew where Mithrandir was and was directed to the furthermost tent.

The movement of being in this man’s arms was making Bella feel almost seasick, her head was pounding viciously and she couldn’t control the cry of pain she made when the man made to avoid a small pothole which resulted in her being jolted around.

“Mithrandir! Someone get the wizard!” the man called out, not breaking stride.

The front flap of the tent opened and the tall figure of the grey wizard stepped out, curious as to why he was being called so urgently. His sharp eyes quickly spied Bard’s man as well as the person he was carrying and a huge smile broke out over his face, his eyes twinkling with relief.

“Bella! My dear, you are alive!” he exclaimed as he rushed towards her.

Whether it was the relief of seeing a familiar face or just the result of her head injury, Bella only managed a small wave of her hand before her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she lost consciousness.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Awake at last.”

The sound of that well known voice made Bella open her eyes and turn towards its owner. It was a great relief to realise that her head didn’t hurt anymore, or rather the pain was only a dull ache and more than manageable. She was lying on soft pallet inside a tent with the grey wizard seated beside her, a relieved smile on his wrinkled face.

“Gandalf,” she said hoarsely and lifted her hand to reach for him. “I’m so glad to see you.”

Taking her tiny hand in his much larger ones, he looked at her as if trying to read her mind. “As am I, my dear. I was greatly worried about you.”

Then she remembered. “Thorin! Gandalf, what of Thorin? Is he alive? Is he hurt? Please Gandalf, you must know. What about Fili and Kili and the others? Tell me, Gandalf, please,” she pleaded, tears flooding her eyes in panic and fear as she struggled to sit up.

“Hush now, my dear,” soothed Gandalf, his hands gently pushing her back down. “Thorin is alive, as is the rest of the Company.”

Bella felt almost faint with relief at the news. He’s alive! Their estrangement, if you could call his hatred of her that, would hit her later but all she could feel now was joy that her beloved Thorin hadn’t been killed in battle. Even if he could never forgive her, at least he was still alive in the world. As were her beloved dwarves, every one of them.

“Is he alright? Was he hurt? Where is he? We’re any of the others hurt?” she asked rapidly.

“Thorin was hurt in the battle.” Ignoring her gasp, he continued. “Azog attempted to kill him and very nearly succeeded. Where Thorin found the strength, I do not know, but he killed Azog as he was about to impale Thorin. Thorin suffered some deep wounds as well as a serious head injury but he is alive and expected to fully recover although he has not yet recovered consciousness.”

“And Kili? How is he?”

“His arm was badly wounded. He was lucky it wasn’t severed but Thranduil’s healers managed to save it and with luck and time, he will regain full use of it.”

“What of the others?”

“Oh, nothing too major. Cuts, bruises, a few broken ribs and bones. Nothing that won’t heal,” he assured her.

Bella nodded her head, thinking of Thorin. Would she be able to see him one more time before she left? He’d said he would kill her if he saw her face again but she wanted to see for herself that he was alive before returned to the Shire, never seeing him again.

“Gandalf, I want to see Thorin. Do you think you could take me to where he is?” she asked. “I just need to see him for myself. Before I go, I mean.”

The wizard sighed and looked sadly at the little hobbit. “Do you think that’s wise? Remember the last thing he said to you? Can you not trust my word that Thorin will live?”

“It’s not that I don’t believe you, Gandalf, I swear. And I know that he hates me and probably always will especially when he looks at that damned rock, but I need to look at his face one last time. I want to remember it as it was, without the gold sickness and the anger. I don’t need to talk to him, not that he’d allow that even if he was awake. Just look at him, just once more.”

There was silence for a few moments as Bella felt the grief hit her again. She wanted nothing more than to hold Thorin again, tell him she loved him still and if there was a part of her that felt fear of being at the receiving end of his anger again, she would not think on it now. That would come later, when she was away from here, from him and time had eased the pain a little.

“I’m sorry, my dear. Sorry that this has come to pass. I am sorry that you are hurting.” He sat up straighter before going on. “I will take you to Thorin but it will not be today.” He raised his hand to stop the protest that was about burst from her. “Bella, my dear, you have suffered from a severe concussion and you have been unconscious for the past two days.”

“Two days!” she gasped in shock.

“Yes and it was only due to the elven healer’s skill that things were not worse. From the size of the bump on your head, you were hit with a projectile and it’s just luck that it didn’t kill you. You need to rest and recover today and tomorrow, after a night’s rest, I will take you to him.”

“Another thing I have to be grateful to that elf king for,” she grumbled, to Gandalf’s amusement. “Alright, I will do as you say, Gandalf.” Taking a deep breath she continued. “When…when do you think I will be able to leave to return home?”

Gandalf stroked his beard as he thought on her question. “Now that you are awake, the healer will want to check you over and once he declares you well enough to travel, we can leave shortly after that. Hopefully within a few days.”

“Thank you Gandalf. Are you sure you can spare the time? I can ask Bard if he has someone who can guide me past the Misty Mountains.”

“Of course, my dear. As if I would let you make your way home with a stranger. It was I that led you into this adventure, however reluctantly, and I will see you get home safely. Perhaps you can spend some time in some of the places we visited on our way here? Beorn’s or Rivendell come to mind.”

Bella smiled at him. “Yes, it would be nice to spend some time in Rivendell and visit Beorn again if he and Lord Elrond are agreeable. Perhaps we can avoid Goblin Town and maybe even Thranduil’s caves. Once in this lifetime is more than enough, I believe.”

Gandalf chuckled. “Oh, Thranduil isn’t that bad once you get to know him.”

Bella just snorted. “You weren’t the one imprisoned by him nor did you have to brave river rapids to escape. I’m grateful to him for allowing his healers to help Kili and myself, but that’s as far as my regard for him goes.”

“Yes, well, perhaps his actions weren’t the most honourable but there are worse people in Middle Earth,” replied Gandalf with a smile.

Bella only nodded when her stomach rumbled loudly. Who knows how many days it had been since she had eaten? While her body had gotten used to not eating as often as normal hobbits during the long quest, she still did like her food.

“Well, my dear, I suggest we take care of this immediate problem and then we shall tackle the larger ones.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It wasn’t until mid morning the following day that Bella was allowed to get up, much to her relief. The headache had all but disappeared and while she still had a number of bruises and was a little stiff and sore, it was nothing she could not cope with.

Gandalf was assisting with mediations between the former warring parties although not much could be decided until Thorin awoke. Dain had set his men to repairing Erebor’s gates more permanently as well as guarding the entrance. The other two leaders were organising the disposal of the dead orcs and goblins and the arrangements for returning the fallen soldiers back to their respective homes and families. It was a sombre time for all.

Despite all his running around, Gandalf informed Bella that he was making preparations for them to leave in two days time. Apparently Thranduil had offered to send some of his elves to meet them at the edge of Mirkwood forest in order to guide them safely through to the other side and provide them with supplies. Bella grumbled at having to accept the Elven King’s help but she was not silly enough to refuse it. _Where was this help when we were travelling in the other direction, hmm?_ She thought spitefully.

From there Gandalf proposed that they spend a few days resting at Beorn’s house. He had told her of the skin-changer’s timely appearance on the battlefield and how his and the Eagle’s intervention had helped turn the tide and enabled the allied armies to gain the upper hand and all but wipe out the orc and goblin forces.

“I wish I had been awake to see the Eagles again,” said Bella. “I’ll never be grateful enough for the help they gave us on the cliff side but I must say that if I never fly again on the back of one of those majestic creatures, it will be much too soon,” she quipped, making Gandalf chuckle.

Gandalf admitted that he hoped to persuade Beorn to accompany them in crossing the Misty Mountains as there were probably still bands of goblins hiding within its depths before heading on to Rivendell. How long they stayed there would depend on Bella and she couldn’t help but feel some excitement at the thought of properly exploring the place. Maybe it would help take her mind off Thorin. Somehow, she doubted it.

But first, she needed to see Thorin.

Bella decided that she would go and see him just before she and Gandalf left. That way, only Gandalf would be witness to the copious tears she was sure to shed as she left behind her shattered heart.

For the rest of the day, Bella kept busy by helping with changing bandages and assisting the wounded eat and generally doing whatever tasks needed doing. She was also trying to keep out of sight of her dwarves. Her dwarves? No, they weren’t her dwarves anymore but she would miss them all. They had shared many adventures together and despite how it all ended, their memories would be very dear to her for the rest of her life and maybe, someday in the future, she might meet some of them again.

She smiled to herself as she thought about them as she helped prepare food.

Balin, who had been so kind to her, right from the beginning and his brother Dwalin. He had terrified her at first, with his size and appearance but she had come to see the truly loyal person he was beneath the scary exterior.

Oin and Gloin, both so different but fiercely protective of each other. Some of the misunderstandings caused by Oin’s faulty hearing had made her chuckle but his skill at healing was undeniable. Gloin was gruff and blustery but when he spoke of his wife and son, the sheer adoration in his face was a wonder to see.

Sly Nori, with his quick fingers. She’d had to keep an eye out on her backpack a few times until she had threatened to cut off his eyebrows during the night if he touched it again. Mother-hen Dori with his chamomile tea. He loved having a natter while they were sitting around the campfire at night; and sweet little Ori, their self-appointed scribe. Just a child really but with a huge heart that made her simply want to hug him.

And then there were the Ur brothers, Bofur and Bombur and their cousin Bifur. Goodness, hadn’t Bifur taken her aback when she first met him! Who gets an axe lodged in their head and lives to talk about it? Only a hardy dwarf, obviously. And maybe he could only speak in ancient Khuzdul, but still, it was amazing when one thought about it. Bella didn’t think she’d ever seen a person, of any race, that was as large as Bombur. She’d thought hobbits had healthy appetites but Bombur put them all to shame. Still, he had often managed to scrounge up some amazing meals for them even when supplies were scarce although Bofur would say that was for his own benefit, not the Company’s. Bofur, so kind and cheerful even when things were at their worst. How many times, when homesickness hit her particularly hard, would he come out with something cheeky and make her laugh. He and Kili had been the first to befriend her and she would be forever grateful.

Fili and Kili, Thorin’s nephews and heirs. Such naughty, cheerful, cheeky, brave, loyal and wonderful boys they were. She who had no siblings had loved watching the two brothers together and had wished many times she had had a brother or sister to always rely on. They were inseparable and Bella dreaded to think of anything happening to either one of them even if that had looked like a distinct possibility when they would pull a prank on one of the unsuspecting company members.

Whether it was because he was the youngest or because he had been the first to make her feel welcome, Bella had a special place in her heart for Kili. She had never meant to become a substitute mother figure to Kili but their relationship had evolved like that, probably due to the simple fact that she was a female. Bella was glad that she was able to give Kili a little comfort during the perilous quest when he had been badly missing his mother.

Sometimes, when she had been lying next to Thorin, enveloped in his warm arms, she had mused on the possibility of having a child with him and if it would be anything like Kili. She would have liked that.

Now that possibility was gone and it cut so deeply that she didn’t know how she was going to bear it. _No, not now_ , she scolded herself. _I’ll think about Thorin after I’ve left when I know there will be no possibility of me being able to throw myself at him and beg him to let me stay._

With that she shook off her melancholy thoughts and carried on with her tasks and prepared to leave the mountain forever.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Bella tentatively made her way towards the entrance of the tent where Thorin was located, her heart thumping like a drum inside her. Gandalf was waiting for her with their horses (or pony in her case) and supplies at the edge of the encampment. She planned to look her last at Thorin, say her goodbyes and leave his life forever, as he wished.

Standing in front of the opening flap stood Dwalin, guarding his king as always. Bella couldn’t help but admire his fierce loyalty to his friend but she was afraid of Dwalin’s reaction at seeing her trying to see Thorin. Would he strike her down before she even had a chance to explain why she was here? Thorin’s words when he banished her were unmistakeable and even if Dwalin had any fondness for her, he would still never take her side against Thorin. He probably thought she had brought it on herself by stealing the Arkenstone. Still, she was determined to see Thorin once more.

Taking hesitant steps, Bella moved closer to the burly dwarf, halting when he spotted her. Dwalin growled low in his throat and took a step towards her but despite her fear, she held her ground.

“H…hello, Dwalin,” she said softly.

“What do you want?” he replied tersely. “You should have been gone by now.”

Bella nodded. “I know and I’m going, I promise. Gandalf and I are leaving this morning, I swear, but I need to see Thorin before I go. Please Dwalin, I just want to say my goodbyes to him,” she pleaded, tears filling her eyes.

“He’s not awake yet,” he said gruffly. “And he’d have my head if I let you anywhere near him. Not that I blame him.”

Wringing her hands, Bella begged him. “Please Dwalin. I know you’re angry with me but I’m begging you, let me see him. I’ll only be a moment. I just need to see with my own eyes that he’s alright.” She looked up him beseechingly and she saw the brief conflict in his eyes before his face hardened again. What if he wouldn’t let her in?

“Be off with you hobbit,” he growled. “You have no place here.”

“Oh now, brother, surely a moment won’t hurt? He’s not even awake so he’ll never know.”

Bella turned and smiled at the kindly face of Balin. “That’s all I need, just a moment and then none of you will ever see me again. Please Balin,” she pleaded, unable to keep the tears from falling.

“You know Thorin said ‘on pain of death’. She should have already left,” Dwalin muttered behind her.

Balin nodded sagely. “I know, brother, but there was a battle so there would have been little chance of leaving with the necessities she would require for the journey. Let her pass, Dwalin. If Thorin finds out, I will take responsibility.”

Bella impulsively hugged the dwarf before withdrawing just as quickly. “Thank you Balin. I promise I’ll be gone before you know it.” Balin only nodded with a sad smile. Taking a deep breath, Bella walked past Dwalin, not missing his unhappy growl and pushed open the flap.

Lying on a pallet in the middle of the tent was Thorin. Bella could see many bruises on his torso which was bare except for two large dressings on his side and near his shoulder. His head was wrapped in a bandage which covered nearly half his face, the other half with a myriad of cuts and scratches. He was laying so still, only the faint rise and fall of his chest indicating that he was alive and not lying in state.

Bella pressed her hand to her mouth to stop herself from crying out. He looked so hurt but he was alive. Alive! Even though Gandalf had reassured her, she hadn’t really believed it until now. She moved a little closer but not enough to touch him. She didn’t think she’d have the strength not to if she got too near.

She took in her fill of him, knowing Dwalin was waiting impatiently outside and would doubtless have no hesitation in dragging her out if she took too long.

“I’m…I’m glad you are going to be alright, Thorin,” she whispered as tears clogged her voice. “I was so worried about you, and the others, but mostly you. I know you can act…rashly at times and I feared for you. I…I saw you leave the mountain and I was proud of you. Terrified, but proud.”

She halted, not knowing how to go on. “I came to see for myself that you were alive…and to say goodbye. I know you never want to see me again and that if you were awake, you’d probably kill me. You nearly did before. I thought I was doing the right thing to keep you alive but obviously not. Not in your eyes, anyway. You believe I betrayed you…and…and maybe I did but not with the intention of hurting you. I knew you would be angry but…but…I never thought you’d hurt me like that.” Bella had to stop for a moment, sobs threatening to burst out. Gathering the threads of her composure, she continued. “I never thought I would be afraid of you, Thorin. Even when you were cruel to me, you never threatened me physically but now…now, I don’t know what to think. I…I suppose it doesn’t matter now, I’ll be long gone by the time you wake up.”

Bella reached out a hand but stopped herself before it came into contact with him, withdrawing it to her chest. “I…I pray…I truly pray that the sickness no longer has a hold on you. You’re too good a man to let it consume you. I hope you become the king you want to be and that Erebor becomes great again like you dreamed. I…I hope you will be happy. I want to thank you for allowing me to go on this adventure with you even if it didn’t end how we wanted it to. Maybe one day you’ll think a little better of me. I know I won’t ever forget you. You’ve given me both the most joy and greatest pain I’ve ever experienced or probably ever will again. Still, that’s what happens when you run out your front door, I suppose, and venture into the unknown.”

She heard movement outside and suspected that Dwalin was getting ready to come in and throw her out so she took one last look at the man she loved, committing his face to memory. Unable to help herself this time, she took a step forward and gently brushed her fingertips against his brow before moving down to trace his lips. They were cracked and rough now but she remembered how soft they could be.

“Goodbye Thorin. Goodbye my love. May Mahal always keep you safe.”

Blinded by tears, Bella stumbled out of the tent, whispered goodbye to Dwalin and Balin and made her way to where Gandalf waited as quickly as she was able before she completely broke down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all of you who have read and left kudos, reviews or bookmarks. It's much appreciated.


	5. Chapter 5

“How is he?” asked Balin, his face mirroring his concern. 

 

Beside him stood Dain, Thorin’s cousin and ruler of the dwarves of the Iron Hills, looking equally as concerned.  “Will he be alright?”

 

“Aye, ‘tis just a fever,” replied Oin as he carefully sponged down his king’s heated skin with a cool cloth as he attempted to reduce his temperature.  “We expected this to happen.   He is fighting off an infection caused by the filth on that vile creature’s weapon.”  Looking up, he took in the worried faces of the two dwarves.  “The elven healer has given me herbs that will help with the infection and as long as we can keep his temperature down, he will recover.  Thorin is strong, gentlemen.  He will survive this,” he reassured them.

 

“Then why hasn’t he awoken yet?” asked Dain.  “It’s been nearly a week since he was struck down.”

 

“The blow to Thorin’s head is the primary cause and is not helped by the fever.  The strike may have caused a crack in his skull and would have bruised his brain.  It needs to heal itself and this is nature’s way of ensuring Thorin doesn’t do more damage to himself.  The blood loss was great and he needs to replenish it.  These things, along with the fever and infection are ensuring Thorin does not wake.  His body has endured a great deal and is trying very hard to heal itself.  We will help it along as much as we can but for now we must simply wait.” 

 

The two dwarves nodded in understanding before leaving to attend to other matters.  With Thorin out of action, the two were representing him in their dealings with Bard and Thranduil, making sure that Thorin was not cheated in negotiations due to his not being able to be there.   All parties had agreed to hold off on any major decisions until Thorin was fit enough to join them.

 

Both Balin and Dain were greatly experienced in the politics and tactics involved when negotiating with high ranking officials of other kingdoms.  Dain had ruled his people for many years and Balin had been an advisor to King Thror before the dragon came and had been Thorin’s right hand man during the long years in exile.  

 

As such, Balin had agreed to give Bard enough gold to enable him to immediately assist his people, food and shelter being the priorities.  The final amount of gold would not be decided until Thorin was able to join the negotiations and the gold already given would be deducted from the total agreed upon.  Dain had initially argued against giving the men anything until Thorin awoke but Balin had reasoned that this is what Thorin probably would have done in the first place had he been approached in a different manner and he hadn’t been affected by the gold sickness.  Balin knew Thorin was a good and fair person and would have seen this as the right thing to do when he was thinking straight again.   As a sign of goodwill, Bard had reluctantly returned the Arkenstone which was then promptly stored away safely back inside the mountain under continuous guard. 

 

Several of the company came to see Thorin during the day, including Fili who had sat next to Thorin telling him about what was happening around the camp and how Kili was recovering from his wounds.  Fili wouldn’t admit it but he was afraid that Thorin would not wake up as that would mean he would have to take Thorin’s place as King.  As Thorin’s heir he had been groomed for the role all his life but he in no way felt ready to take on the responsibility yet.  So he kept seeking assurances from Oin that Thorin would live, to the point that Oin would toss him out when Fili had annoyed him too much.  Right now, Fili was watching Oin sponge Thorin down, a worried look on his face.

 

Before he was able to ask yet again about Thorin, the man in question began moving around, his arms twitching and making jerky movements. 

 

“He’s moving!” exclaimed Fili.

 

“Thank Mahal,” replied Oin.  “He may be coming back to us.” 

 

As Thorin’s movements became more violent, Oin had Fili take one of Thorin’s arms and hold it down in case he accidently reopened one of his wounds.  It wasn’t long before sounds began emerging from Thorin’s mouth, most just guttural noises, nothing comprehensible, and his torso began twisting around.  The sounds grew louder and it was becoming harder to hold Thorin down when Dwalin stepped inside, alarmed by the noises coming from inside the tent.  He took in the situation at a glance and hurried over to assist them. 

 

“Here Dwalin, take hold of his arm and shoulder while I get a calming draught to give him.  If he keeps this up, he will definitely reopen his wounds,” said Oin as he hurried to get the ingredients together.

 

The two dwarves watched their king as his flushed face became dotted with sweat and the sounds became more frequent.  Just as they as they were about to send for more assistance, Thorin opened his unseeing eyes, sat up a little and gave an agonised cry.

 

“ _BELLA!_ ”

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

_He was inside his mountain, sitting amongst countless priceless artefacts but his greatest treasure was beside him, draped in gems from head to foot and little else.  Bella was smiling up at him, a lustful twinkle in her eyes as she stroked the huge gem hanging between her naked breasts.  The glow from the gem gave her skin an iridescent sheen but he thought she outshone all the gold and gems in the room.  Unable to resist the lure of his little hobbit, he bent over her and kissed her plump lips.  They were like ambrosia to him and he could happily drown in her taste and when she opened her mouth and let him explore, he thought he had._

_Her arms encircled his neck, hands buried in his thick hair as his lips moved over her face and down her neck, licking and sipping from her skin as he went.  Her little whimpers had him as hard as the rock his mountain was made from and he eagerly looked forward to entering her tight little body and loving her until they were both beyond sated.  Taking her nipple into his mouth, he lovingly suckled it, his tongue teasing the pebbled skin until she cried out.  With a satisfied grin, he let the nipple go before giving its twin the same treatment.  Bella writhed beneath him, her small hands trying to guide him to where she needed him most.  He lifted his head and looked down at his treasure and thought that not even the Arkenstone could compare with her beauty._

_“Thorin, please,” she begged._

_Desiring to give Bella everything she ever wanted, he moved between her thighs and was about to push into her when the ground below them gave way, Bella’s screams ringing in his ears._

_He could not feel himself falling but somehow he was standing in front the Goblin King deep within the goblin caves of the Misty Mountains._

_“You’re dead!  Gandalf killed you,” he cried out in confusion.  “I saw it with my own eyes.”_

_The Goblin King cackled with sinister delight.  “Really?  Then why am I here, Thorin, Son of Thrain, King of Nothing?”_

_Ignoring the insult, he looked frantically around.  Where was she?  Where was Bella?  He moved to try to find her, but dozens of goblins surrounded him and pushed him towards their King.  Next to him stood a torture device comprised of two slabs of wood embedded with dozens of metal spikes facing each other.  He could see this device was meant impale its victim between both slabs until all organs were pierced.  Somehow, as he was being dragged towards the machine, his sword, Orcrist, appeared in his hand.  Without hesitation, he lopped the heads off the nearest goblins and used the distraction to run in the opposite direction only to grind to a halt as another nightmare met his eyes._

_In front of him, astride his foul beast, sat Azog with a malicious smile on his evil face.  That wasn’t the horror though.  The true horror was the tiny body impaled on the end of the spikes that Azog used as a hand.   Her unseeing eyes looked directly at him as the rest of her body was soaked in blood, the prongs protruding from her front._

_“NO!”  he cried out, tears springing to his eyes.  “Please no.”_

_Azog just laughed at the other man’s distress.  “Once again, I’ve taken what you love, Thorin, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror.  You should have let me kill you, then you wouldn’t have needed to witness me killing your woman.”_

_Shaking his head in disbelief, he couldn’t help the whimper that left his lips.  This can’t be real!  It can’t!  We got away from Azog.  Bella saved me._

_“Thorin Oakenshield, reduced to a whimpering pile of dwarf dung,” Azog mocked.  “Before I finish you for good, maybe you would like one last hold of your beloved?”  He looked at Azog in confusion.  “Oh, before I forget,” Azog sneered, “Your nephews will be the next to die at my hand, as painfully as possible.”  With that, Azog threw Bella’s body at him._

_His hands automatically reached out to grab her and the momentum of the throw pushed him off the edge of the walkway into the depths below.  Expecting to hit rock as he landed, he was surprised to feel himself immersed in cold, rushing water and even more shocked when Bella clung on to him as they floated down what seemed to be river rapids._

_“Bella, you’re alive!”_

_“Of course I am, you silly dwarf but we won’t be for long if we don’t get out of this river!” she replied tersely._

_Despite their precarious circumstances, he couldn’t feel anything but relief that his Bella was not dead.  How had that happened?  Before he could ponder over the strange happenings a loud roaring sound caught his attention and when he turned towards it, he saw the edge of a waterfall directly in their path._

_“Thorin, we’re going to go over!” screamed Bella as they rushed towards the drop._

_What was happening?  Was any of this real?  It felt real but was so bizarre he couldn’t be sure.  Tightening his grip on Bella, he attempted to swim towards the shore but the current was too strong and then the white foam of the waterfall was filling their mouths as the water crashed into underwater boulders._

_“Hold on, my love!”  he yelled above the din and in the next instant, the two went sailing over the edge, Bella screaming in his ear as they looked down to the bottom far, far below._

_The drop seemed to be endless and he was certain they were both going to be dashed against the rocks below but then they were back in Erebor’s treasury, dry and unhurt._

_Relieved to be unharmed, he crushed Bella to his chest as he scattered kisses all over her face.  He felt so happy to be with her.  About to suggest that they retreat to his bedchamber he was surprised when she pulled away from him abruptly and took a number of steps back._

_“Bella?”_

_Her saw her drop her hand into her pocket and with a strange smile on her face, she pulled out the Arkenstone, its many facets throwing out beams of colour around the room._

_“Is this what you want?” she asked in a strange tone.  “Is this what you would kill for?  Is it?  Is this rock more important than me?”  She held out the Arkenstone to him with a look of hatred on her face.  “You would kill_ me _because of it, wouldn’t you, Thorin?_

_He shook his head in confusion.  What was she doing?  “N…no, I would never harm you.  I love you,” he denied, reaching for her._

_“Really?  Prove it!”  With those words, she tossed the stone over the battlement that they were now standing on._

_“NO!  That belongs to me!” he yelled, a tremendous rage filling him.  When she laughed sarcastically, he gave a roar and reached for her, taking her by the throat and squeezing._

_Even though she struggled to breathe, she kept laughing hatefully at him.  “I knew it all along,” she wheezed even as he dangled her over the drop.  “A pretty rock is more important than the love of your One.  You’re no better than your grandfather! ”_

_“Stop it!  You know nothing!” he roared.  “You’re nothing but a treacherous rat!  I should kill you.”  As he said the words, he could feel himself wanting to stop uttering them and he wanted to let go of her and prove her wrong, but he couldn’t.  Instead, he squeezed even tighter and he watched the hate turn to fear._

_“D…do it…then,” she gasped._

_Even though his head was screaming not to let go, his fingers slowly released their hold on her and he watched her fall down into the chasm below.  Panicked, he attempted to catch her again but as he looked down his eyes widened in horror.  Below her, his mouth open to swallow her whole, fire streaming from his nostrils was Smaug waiting to catch his prey._

_“I love you,” she said as she fell, smiling up at him._

_“BELLA!_

_* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *_

Hands were holding him down and he fought them in a panic.  Bella!  He had to stop her fall! 

 

“Thorin!”

 

He could hear her calling his name and her fall seemed endless.  Why couldn’t he jump after her?  Maybe he could change her trajectory or if not, at least he would be with her at the end.

 

“Thorin!”

 

It was so hot.  Smaug’s flames must be getting stronger and still she called him.  What had he done?

 

“ _THORIN!_ ”

 

Dragged from his nightmare, Thorin opened bloodshot eyes and saw the worried face of his nephew.   Panting, he looked around and saw several hands holding his arms.  “Bella!”  he whispered hoarsely.  “I killed her!  Oh Mahal, I killed her!”  

 

Fili was horrified to see tears spring into his uncle’s eyes.  Even though he was very unwell and had obviously been having a nightmare, it was terribly disconcerting to see his proud, warrior uncle so undone.

 

“No Uncle!  No, it wasn’t real.  Bella is alive,” he insisted, looking into Thorin’s confused eyes, his face flushed and dripping with sweat.  “You had a nightmare, Uncle, that’s all.”

 

Fili’s words seemed to penetrate the panicked fog of Thorin’s mind and he visibly relaxed a little.  “She’s…alive?”

 

“Yes, I swear.”

 

“I need to…see her,” he rasped.  “Where is she?”

 

Fili looked up at Dwalin, uncertainty in his face.  What should he say?  Thorin was still battling the fever and wasn’t in his right mind.  Would telling him that he had banished Bella make things worse?  Would it hinder his recovery?   He looked up at Oin and saw him give an imperceptible shake of his head.

 

“Ahh…she’s…she’s…” he stuttered, trying to think of an excuse.

 

“She’s out helping the wounded and will come and see you when she’s finished,” said Dwalin, ignoring Fili’s grateful look.

 

“Yes, and you need to take something to help that fever and let you rest,” said Oin as he came over with a brew in his hands. 

 

“No, I want…to see… Bella,” Thorin insisted weakly, the strength gained from his nightmare now faded as he lay back on the bed.  “Bella.”

 

“Drink this, and I’ll have someone fetch her,” soothed Oin, holding the cup to Thorin’s lips.

Calmed by the thought that he would see Bella soon, Thorin obediently drank the brew, grimacing in disgust at the taste.

 

“Well done,” praised Oin.  “You’ll feel better very soon.”

 

_Bella.  Where are you?  I need you?_   Thorin thought drowsily as the potion quickly took effect and he feel into a deep, dreamless sleep.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

The next time he woke the fever was gone and he was able to look around and see where he was.   It looked like he was lying on a pallet inside a tent. When he tried to sit up, he groaned as pain shot through him.  He looked down and saw the bandages that covered his torso and figured he had pulled on his stitches. 

 

“Good to see you return to the land of the living.”

 

Stiffly, he turned his head and saw Bofur sitting beside him and gave him a grunt and a questioning look.

 

“I’m just babysitting while Oin takes a break,” Bofur chuckled at Thorin’s glare.  “How are you feeling, anyway?”

 

“Like I had a fight with a warg.”

 

“Nice to see you haven’t lost your sunny disposition,” quipped Bofur, feeling safe in the knowledge that Thorin wasn’t capable of throttling him in his current condition.

 

“How is Kili?”  He could remember seeing Kili being wounded during the battle.

 

“Oh, he’ll be fine.  With a very impressive scar on his arm and it may take a while to get full use of it back but it will heal in time.”

 

“And the others?”

 

“All fine, couple’a broken ribs and whatnot, but otherwise in one piece,” reassured Bofur.  “You were the worst hurt out of us all.”

 

Thorin nodded, relieved he hadn’t lost any of his men.  He had enough on his conscience to feel guilty about without having to add that.  “How long have I been here?”

 

“Oh, now, it must be around eight or nine days?” Bofur mused, stroking his beard thoughtfully.  “Eight days.  That’s right.”

 

Eight days!  No wonder he felt so weak which was maddening.  Mahal knows how much could have gone wrong in eight days.   Did he still have a kingdom or had it been stolen while he was asleep _?  Balin!  I need to see Balin.  He will tell me what has been happening._

 

Gritting his teeth against the pain, Thorin attempted to sit up, ignoring Bofur’s protests that he must stay in bed.   The bandage on his head slipped and covered one eye and he was impatiently pushing it out of the way when Oin returned, followed by Dwalin.

 

“What do you think you are doing, Thorin?” demanded Oin as he rushed to push the injured king back down.  “You will rip the stitches and you are in no condition to get up,” he admonished angrily.

 

“I need to speak with Balin,” growled Thorin.  “I have lain here long enough.  I have a kingdom to see to.” 

 

“You are still recovering and you will be as weak as a baby until you build up your strength again.  You suffered a severe head injury, multiple bruises, major blood loss and a raging fever.  If you try to get up now I can promise that you will simply collapse in a heap right away.”

 

“Aye, don’t be a fool Thorin,” agreed Dwalin.  “I’ll send for Balin.  He and Dain have been taking care of things in your absence and he can tell you what has been done.”

 

Despite wanting to defy them all, Thorin knew he didn’t have the strength to walk anywhere no matter how much he wanted to.  He had no choice but to do as Oin said and recuperate as quickly as possible.  Signifying his compliance he asked to see Balin and Dain.  He would do what he could from his sickbed.  There was so much to do.

 

While he waited and Oin fussed around checking his dressings, his thoughts turned to _her_.   Was she gone?  Was she safe?  Did she hate him?  _Of course she does, you fool!_   After what he did, how could she not? 

 

The image of her beautiful face looking at him with such fear flooded his mind.  Those chocolate brown eyes that he had lost himself in filled with terror and tears because of him.   The pain in his heart was so intense that he couldn’t help the gasp that left his lips and it was only by sheer effort of will that he was able to keep tears at bay. 

 

It was lucky that Oin attributed this to his reaction at having his wounds poked and prodded.   Thorin could not admit out loud that his broken heart hurt more than any injury inflicted by his worst enemy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who have been reading and leaving kudos and comments. It's very much appreciated.


	6. Chapter 6

Gandalf looked worriedly at his silently weeping companion.  Since they had left Erebor three hours ago, Bella had not stopped crying.  Luckily her pony, Bridie, was a gentle animal that was happy to follow his horse’s lead as she was certainly not receiving any guidance from Bella. 

 

He wished there was something he could do to ease her suffering but there was no power in Middle Earth or in Arda that could ease the pain of a broken heart.  It had to heal on its own, or at least find enough acceptance of the situation to allow its owner to carry on with their life.   He had been alive for countless millennia and Gandalf knew that the most difficult wound to heal was that of heartbreak.  It would take a long time for Bella to overcome this.

 

“I think now would be an ideal time for us to take rest, my dear,” he said, having spotted a small group of rocks that would provide a bit of shelter from the cool breeze that had sprung up on their journey.

 

Bella simply nodded as Bridie followed Gandalf towards the rocks where they were to take a break.  He watched as she wiped her eyes with her handkerchief before wordlessly dismounting.  He took in her puffy, red eyes and blotchy face and couldn’t help feeling guilty that he had been the one to drag her into this whole ordeal in the first place.  If he could have foreseen what would happen between Bella and Thorin, he may have considered her involvement more carefully but it was done and he could do nothing to turn back the clock.

 

They silently cared for the animals before sitting down to eat their own meal of bread and cheese.  Bella stared at it for a long while, lost in thought.  She had yet to eat any of it.

 

“Bella, my dear,” said Gandalf sternly, his tone making her look at him questioningly.  “I know you are suffering a great deal and if there was any way that I could ease your pain, I would gladly do it, but there is none.  But you must eat, Bella.  We have a long journey in front of us and you must keep up your strength and stay healthy if you are to arrive in Bag End at the end of it.”

 

Bella dropped her head into her hands, a picture of abject misery.  “How long, Gandalf?  How long before it stops feeling as if an arrow is piercing my heart, before I can think of anything but how he looked at me with such hatred?  How do I stop feeling like a piece of my heart is being torn away with every league we travel further away from him?”

 

Shaking his head, Gandalf reached over and gently brushed his hand over her tawny curls seeking to give her some comfort.  “I wish I could give you an answer, I truly do, but I cannot.  I know it is difficult to accept now but please believe me when I say that you will not always feel this way.  My many years on this earth have shown me that time truly does heal all wounds or at least eases them to a dull ache.  You will probably always feel pain when you think about Thorin but it will not be the all-encompassing emotion you feel now.  You will be able to move forward with your life.”

 

“Will I though?”  She asked.  “Will I ever be able to feel for anyone else what I feel for him?”

 

“Maybe not and that may have to be a burden you bear for the rest of your days but you are strong, Bella.   Far, far stronger than you ever believed yourself to be.  You have proved that time and time again on this quest and I know you are strong enough to overcome this as you did all the other travails that beset you on the journey to the mountain.”

 

Bella wiped her eyes with her sleeve and looked at him.  “You told me that I would be forever changed if I returned, Gandalf, but I never dreamed it would be like this.”

 

“Neither did I, my dear, neither did I.”  He took a long puff of his pipe, lost in thought and regret before returning his gaze to her.  “Do you wish you had never met Thorin?”

 

She gave him a small, sad smile as another tear dripped down her cheek.  “No.  No, I don’t regret meeting Thorin.  How could I regret meeting the love of my life?”

 

With that, Bella forced herself to eat her food and neither spoke until it was time to continue with their journey.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

 

They travelled on until the sun began to set and Gandalf decided to make camp near a small copse of trees.  Now that they had travelled several hours away from the mountain, the landscape was showing more vegetation and although sparse still, there were trees dotted around, enough to provide some shelter and firewood.  It would take several days for them to get to the borders of Mirkwood as they travelled around LongLake, rather than over it as they had when they had left LakeTown previously. 

 

Bella was glad about this as she had heard Bard tell of the destruction of the town and had been saddened to learn of the numerous deaths caused by the angry dragon.  She felt a certain guilt in that she had been the one to inadvertently tell Smaug of the town’s aid in getting to the mountain and she didn’t want to see what that information had wrought with her own eyes, cowardly though that may seem.  She felt too emotionally battered to be able to cope with that.

 

LakeTown had its own personal significance to her and seeing its destruction would be tantamount to witnessing the physical manifestation of the destruction of her and Thorin’s relationship.  It was there that they had finally admitted to the feelings that had been growing between them, possibly from the first time they met, but certainly from the time Bella had defended Thorin against Azog.  It was in LakeTown that their relationship had become physical, neither able to resist succumbing to the desire that scorched between them.  If Gandalf inadvertently spared her that pain, then she was grateful for it.

 

Having a wizard around that was able to manipulate fire was certainly a very useful thing to have when one travelled as he was able to easily get a fire going once they had gathered enough firewood.  Despite the many months travelling with the Company and the skills she had learned, starting campfires was not one of them.  Bella had made them a meal as Gandalf freely admitted to having no cooking skills at all, glad of having something to do to take her mind off Thorin, if only for a while.

 

Now she lay in her bedroll near the banked fire and gazed up at the stars that blanketed the night sky.  Despite her weariness, crying as much as she had took a lot of energy, she could not fall asleep.  She felt guilty for being such a poor travelling companion to Gandalf, what with her endless weeping and vowed to try and hide her misery a little better.  It must surely make Gandalf uncomfortable to have to try and console her and he didn’t deserve to have to bear the brunt of her pain. 

 

She must have finally fallen asleep because the next she knew, she was being shaken awake by Gandalf.  Her blanket was twisted around her body, trapping her hands and it took her a few moments before she was lucid enough to untangle herself and sit up. 

 

“Are you all right?” asked Gandalf.

 

“What happened?” she asked dazedly.  Looking up, she could see the faint lightening of the sky in the east, indicating that dawn was not far off.

 

“You were having a nightmare,” he replied.  “A bad one, from the looks of it.”

 

Now that she was a little more alert, she recalled her dream.  Unsurprisingly, it was about Thorin and the events on the battlements.  Unconsciously, she reached up and touched her throat.  Even after a week it was still slightly sore to touch and she was sure the skin was a mottled collage of black, purple and yellow bruises.  She hadn’t been able to look in a mirror but she was certain the bruises were shaped like fingers and her shirt was not enough to cover the area from view.  Her finger lightly touched the four small scabs that had formed at the back of her neck.  This would be her physical reminder of Thorin, the scars he had inflicted with his nails.  Compared to the scars she would bear within, though, these were nothing.

 

Gandalf watched her silently, his eyes taking in the bruises which were now a prominent purple and felt guilt and anger.  No wonder she was having nightmares.  “Would you like to speak of it?  It may help.”

 

Bella gave him a grateful look but shook her head.  “Thank you for the offer but…I…I don’t think I can, yet.  Maybe later.”  She reached out and laid her hand on his arm.  “I’m sorry for being such a miserable wretch yesterday.  I’ll try to be a more entertaining companion from now on.”

 

“It’s totally understandable, my dear.  Do not be sorry.  I’m sure there will be many occasions yet that you will feel despair and I do not want you to try and suppress it for my sake.  These feelings need to be let out or they will fester inside and you will never be able to move on with your life.”

 

“I know, Gandalf, but you shouldn’t have to bear the brunt of it just because you are the only person around.  Nor should you have to put up with my nightmares.”

 

“Well, who better to help bear one’s burdens than a friend, hmm?  Believe me, my dear, I have borne far greater ones in my time.  If you wish to speak of your troubles I am most willing to lend an ear.  Sometimes, speaking your thoughts out loud can help make sense of them and may bring a sort of peace to you.  We have many weeks of travel before us and you may feel the need to unburden yourself but there will be a great deal of time for you to work out what you need.  I will be a willing listener when and if that time comes.”

 

With moist eyes, Bella moved forward and hugged him tightly until she felt him awkwardly return it.  “Thank you,” she said simply as she let him go, smiling at the discomfort on his face.  “I’m not ready yet, but when I am, you may regret making the offer.”

 

“Nonsense, my dear.  After some of the company I’ve kept in my lifetime, I doubt there is anything that can shock me anymore.”

 

Bella chuckled as she rose and began rolling up her bedding.  Now that they were both awake, they may as well have breakfast and get an early start on today’s travels.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Although his strength was returning more quickly than anticipated, Thorin was still unable to be on his feet for too long before he felt weak and had to return to his bed.  Oin insisted that this was normal and that he was, in fact, recovering far quicker than many others with the same injuries would have.  Still, it was frustrating to not be able to get up and do what needed to done to restore Erebor to its former glory.  Balin and Dain had done an admirable job on his behalf, but Thorin needed to be active.

 

Lying around only led to thoughts of _her_ , and thinking about her only caused the ache in his chest to intensify.   The maelstrom of emotions he felt:  love, pain, desire, guilt, longing, anger, tenderness, hurt and all the other unnamed ones were too much for him to cope with in his weakened state so he deliberately pushed thoughts of her away as much as he could.  This was why he was pleased to receive visitors while he recuperated.  Normally he would find it intensely annoying and slightly embarrassing but if it helped keep his thoughts off her, he welcomed it.

 

Yesterday they had managed to transfer him back to his old bed chamber within Erebor.  Balin had ordered that his old rooms be cleaned and made usable again.  Upon inspection, the dwarves had discovered that other than the main doors, the treasury and the rooms surrounding it, much of Erebor had been left untouched.  The royal suites, which were located on the upper levels, had not been disturbed by the dragon.  There was some damage and cracking to walls and ceilings caused by the shaking when Smaug had initially invaded as well as decades of dust on everything and the stench of the dragon had permeated the entire mountain, but on the whole, it would not take too long to make them liveable again. 

 

Teams of Dain’s men had worked tirelessly to repair any structural damage to Thorin’s rooms as well as clean and wash all linens they had located in the storage rooms.  All windows and doors were to be kept open, at least during the day, to allow fresh air inside and help push out the smell.  It would probably take several weeks for the stench to fully disappear but at least it was now tolerable.

 

When Balin declared it liveable, Thorin had been stretchered inside, much to his displeasure.  He had wanted to walk inside the mountain on his own two feet but had barely walked twenty steps when dizziness overcame him and he had to be helped to sit down.  He had tried again with the same result and it wasn’t until Dwalin threatened to throw him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes that he consented to being carried in, however grudgingly.  Besides, he believed that Dwalin would actually carry out his threat.

 

The first sight of his old bedroom was achingly bittersweet.  It looked like he had only been gone a short while, not the many, many decades he and his people had wandered homelessly.  Memories of the many hours he and his brother, Frerin, had spent in here in their youth; playing with his little sister Dis, and the numerous visits from his parents and grandfather assailed him. 

 

How he missed them still.  If only they could have been here to see their people return home.  His mother had perished when the dragon came while his brother and grandfather were buried far from home on the battlegrounds of Azanulbizar.  Where his father’s body lay he would probably never know.   Dis and his nephews were all that remained of his family.

 

Grief and rage had flared within him as he thought about all he had lost but he tamped it down as best he could.  There would be a time to finally properly mourn and honour all those who had been lost once Erebor was functioning properly again but now was not that time. 

 

Now was the time to get Erebor back to what it once was, recall their people back to their homes and restore the pride they once took in their kingdom.

 

Balin and Dain had been frequent visitors as they reported what was being done in and around the mountain.  Thorin saw the slight apprehension in Balin’s eyes when he explained his decision to give Bard some of the gold and once again felt guilty for his deplorable behaviour towards his friends whilst under the gold sickness’ lure.  He reassured Balin that he was in complete agreement with his decision.

 

“Thank you, Balin, for doing an admirable job in my stead,” he said, once they were alone.

 

“Oh, don’t be silly, Thorin.  It needed to be done and I know that you have always trusted my decisions,” replied Balin with a self-deprecating wave.

 

“No, you deserve my thanks…and my apologies,” he admitted.  At Balin’s puzzled look he continued.  “I behaved abominably before…before the battle.  I have no excuse…” When Balin moved to disagree, he held up a hand.  “No, the gold sickness is no excuse.  I should have fought it harder.  I saw what it did to my grandfather, what it did to our people when it brought the dragon down upon us, and I should have listened to you and to…” he faltered on her name.  “I should have been more vigilant against it; instead I allowed it to take hold and hurt those I lo…care for.   You, my friend, have always served me faithfully and I will always trust that your decisions are for the good of all our people.”

 

Balin placed his hand on Thorin’s shoulder, careful not to touch his wounds.  “Thank you, my friend.  You honour me with your trust and I will not let you down.  If it makes you feel better, I accept your apology though you must not lay all blame at your own feet.  The behaviour of all the parties was not above reproach, not just yours, so the blame should be shared.  As for the gold sickness…yes, it was unfortunate that it took such a strong hold on you but you were able to fight it off in the end…”

 

“Unfortunate!  That would hardly be the word I would use,” declared Thorin with a grimace.  “And yes, I fought it off, but look at the damage I caused before I did.” Thorin’s eyes fell to his hands, his expression grim.   

 

“Perhaps not all damage is irreversible,” suggested Balin gently, knowing full well what or rather, who, Thorin was thinking of. 

 

Thorin shook his head.  “No Balin, some injuries cannot be put to rights again.  I acted dishonourably towards my loyal friends and my family and I will need to make amends for that.  I grievously harmed the one I love and I don’t believe there is anything I could do to atone for my actions.  As furious as I was, I should never have raised my hand to her in anger and she would be right not to forgive me for it.  Not that I could ask for forgiveness anyway, she’s long gone and justifiably hating me.”

It was a measure of Thorin’s trust that he allowed Balin to hear the despair in his voice as he spoke.  With everyone else, he had put on his stoic mask and not allowed anyone to witness the pain he felt.  Only with Balin and when alone did he give himself permission to let loose the sorrow that ate at him. 

 

“Bella came to see you before she left,” said Balin quietly.

 

Thorin’s gaze shot straight to his face in surprise.  “What?”

 

Balin nodded.  “It seems she was here to witness the battle and did not depart until a few days before you woke up.”

 

“She did not leave right away?  Foolish hobbit!  She might have been killed,” muttered Thorin angrily before flushing with guilt.  She had nearly died by his own hands first.  “Did she look injured, you know, other than the…” he broke off and indicated his throat, unable to say the words.

 

“No, she seemed fine,” replied Balin, noting how Thorin’s shoulders slumped slightly in relief.  “She came to your tent the morning she left.  She said she wanted to say goodbye to you.  Dwalin didn’t want to let her in but I persuaded him to allow her entry and that I would take responsibility if you were angry about it.”  A glance at Thorin saw him rub his eyes tiredly as he took in the information.  “Bella begged me to let her in, Thorin.  That doesn’t sound like a person that hates you.”

 

“Probably wanted to say good riddance to her abuser,” he muttered.  How he wished he had been awake.  At least his last image of her would not have been the one of terror that he now replayed over and over in his head. 

 

Balin shook his head in sympathy.  “I doubt it, Thorin.  She did not look angry, just terribly, terribly sad.”

 

Somehow, that made it even worse.  It would only be right that she was angry with him but the thought of her in pain, as he was, was an even harder burden to bear.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos. I'm so glad you are enjoying the story as I'm really enjoying writing it. The chapters will tend to alternate between Bella and Thorin's POVs and some, as this one, will have both, so that we know what both of them are thinking and feeling.


	7. Chapter 7

The next few days were spent travelling south towards the forest where Gandalf had arranged to meet with their elven guides.  Although Bella’s manner was subdued, she was determined not to let her own troubles spoil their journey.  She had put on a brave face during the day, and when not talking about inconsequential topics, they had travelled in comfortable silence.  At night, she let her tears come, crying as quietly as possible so as not to disturb Gandalf although she was certain he knew exactly what she was doing.  To her relief, he didn’t press her to talk about Thorin as she just wasn’t ready yet; it was too raw.  He hadn’t had to wake her from a nightmare again, for which she was grateful, but they still disturbed her sleep, leaving her tired the next morning. 

 

“How long before we meet with the elves, Gandalf,” she asked, forcing her breakfast down.  Despite still not having much of an appetite, an unheard of thing for a hobbit, she knew Gandalf was right about needing to keep up her strength so she made herself eat.

 

“If the weather stays fine, then I believe we should get to the borders of Mirkwood in about three days.  If you look closely you can just make out the darkness on the far horizon which is the edge of the forest.”

 

Bella looked hard and could just see a dark, thin line in the distance below the blue sky.  The terrain was fairly flat in this part of the world and the horses were having no problems making their way over it.

 

“What will happen to the horses?  Can we take them through the forest?”

 

“Unfortunately, that will not be possible.  The way through the forest would be too difficult for a horse as well as too frightening.  I’m sure you remember how it is, Bella?”  Bella shivered as she remembered the suffocating atmosphere of the place and how she had longed to see sunlight again.  Being as starved and thirsty as the Company had been had not helped.

 

“Yes, I remember.  It was awful and I wish we had another way to get home.”

 

“It is the fastest and the safest.  To the north there is still the threat of orcs, which, while decimated, still roam and to the south is Dol Goldur and the evil that lurks there.  No, through the elven track will be the safest way for us,” he said.

 

At the mention of Dol Goldur, Bella felt a chill race down her spine and immediately felt the weight of the ring which was deep in her pocket.  She wished she could find a way to get rid of it but she was loath to just drop it somewhere on the way.  While she didn’t fully understand the magic the ring contained, she knew that it could be dangerous.  Maybe she should confide in Gandalf and get his opinion on what to do with it?  Surely he would know something about its powers?  All she really knew was that she didn’t enjoy carrying it; it seemed to drag her down – her spirit felt weighed down by a sense of despair which intensified when she wore it.  She decided then and there to stop carrying it on her person and put it amongst her belongings as soon as she was able to.  Perhaps if she didn’t carry it, its effect would be lessened. 

 

“And the horses? What will we do with them?”  Despite her misery, she had become attached to her little pony in the last few days as she obediently followed Gandalf’s lead.

 

“The elves will take care of them.  We will travel on foot through the forest and hopefully Beorn will supply us with transport once we leave the Forest Gate.”

 

“Do we have to stop in Thranduil’s caves?  I’d much rather not,” grimaced Bella.

 

“I rather doubt we will be able to avoid it.  Our guides will surely lead us there in order to replenish our supplies.  I can guarantee a different reception this time, Bella,” he replied with a little smile.

 

“I suppose I don’t have any option anyway, but don’t expect me to act as if he did nothing to us, Gandalf.  I’ll be polite, but that’s it,” she said in a huff.  Thinking of the King of Mirkwood raised her ire every time.  _I’ll be as bad as Thorin soon,_ she thought and immediately felt the pang in her heart.  She jumped up and grabbed Gandalf’s bowl, wanting to push thoughts of _him_ out her mind.  “Well, we’d best be off if we want to meet the elves on time.”

 

Gandalf simply nodded and they both prepared to break camp for the morning.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

They had been travelling for two days, following the shores of the lake on their left.  As they rode south they came closer to Esgaroth, or Lake Town, the town built on stilts where they had sought aid after escaping Thranduil’s prison by riding the river in wine caskets and which had suffered the dragon’s fury.  Bella had been trying to avoid looking at it as it came into view, not wanting to see the outline of the destroyed town in the distance but it was difficult.  As they got closer to the southern end of the lake, the remains of the town became more visible and although there was no more smoke rising from the burned buildings, the damage sustained became more discernible.

 

_Is our building still standing?_ She wondered sadly.  It seemed unlikely as it had been near the centre of the town which would have felt the full wrath of Smaug. 

 

As much as she had been trying to avoid the subject, in the end she couldn’t help herself.  “Gandalf, were…were many killed?” 

 

Gandalf looked at her, sadness in his eyes.  “Yes, many residents of Lake Town perished.  There was not much warning and, while a large number of people managed to get away in time, many old and infirm couldn’t.”

 

Bella hung her head in guilt.  “It…it was my fault.  I made the mistake of hinting who had helped us and this is what I unleashed.”

 

“No, my dear, it’s not your fault.  Smaug was a very wily dragon, far cleverer than many wish to give him credit for.  He would surely have figured it out on his own, regardless of what you said to him.  Even if they hadn’t helped you, the town was the nearest large population to the mountain and Smaug would most probably have taken out his anger on it when he realised the dwarves had re-entered the mountain.  It was always going to be a possible consequence of the quest.”

 

“They didn’t deserve to die,” whispered Bella.

 

“Neither did the dwarves of Erebor when the dragon came, nor the people of Dale,” he replied.  “Both races share a tragic past which should serve to unite them in peace, as it once was.  In a way, the orc and goblin invasion was a good thing.”  At her horrified look, he explained.  “The three races were on the brink of war with each other, none willing to compromise.  The battle forced them to put that aside for the greater good and I believe that now that cooler heads prevail, they will be able to co-operate.  They all need each other but none was willing to acknowledge it.”

 

Bella mused on Gandalf’s words, unable to disagree with them.  Thorin would have a great deal to accomplish but she knew he would be up to the task.  He was a strong, magnetic leader who had already proven his right to rule while in exile.  He had done what he had set out to accomplish, with nothing but twelve loyal dwarves, a wizard and a hobbit.  Feeling tears start to prick her eyes, she pushed all thoughts of Thorin away.  Well, she tried anyway.

 

Their camp for the night was on the western shore of the lake, close to the southern end and Bella could just make out individual buildings, or what was left of them.  The memories of her time in Lake Town kept assailing her and as much as she tried to push them away, they would not leave her in peace.  She didn’t want to remember what happened there, it hurt too much now. 

 

She had been so happy there despite knowing that they would have to deal with the dragon.  After believing for so long that she would always be alone, she knew she had found a love that rivalled the stories told by parents to their children and nothing, not even death, would part them.  How wrong she had been.

 

As she sat on her bedroll, her arms wrapped around her knees and staring at the ruined town, she realised that she could no longer stop the floodgates and just let herself remember.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  

 

_She put on the dress that had been left for her to wear, her own clothes having been taken to be cleaned and repaired.  It was most probably a child’s dress as it was very snug across her breasts, she almost didn’t want to take a breath it was so snug, but the length was just right.  Picking up the brush she found on the dresser, she brushed out her curls, now back to its normal honey colour after she’d finally washed it and watched them spring back into place._

_It had been so long since she’d been able to see herself in a mirror and was a little shocked at the changes.  She was no longer the slightly plump hobbit she had been when she ran out her door.  The amount of walking through Middle Earth and lack of food in Mirkwood had seen her lose weight and now she had cheekbones.  The rest of her body was slimmer as well although she still had her womanly curves, a fact which pleased her.  She hadn’t worn a dress in months and she was pleased with the way it made her look feminine.  Would_ he _like it?  Blushing, she resumed getting ready._

_She had spent the last two days in bed with a cold and exhaustion which was the result of riding down the river on top of a barrel, along with the stress of the previous two weeks as she struggled to find a way to free the Company.  How she survived that, she’d never know but the result was a fever and her head feeling like it was stuffed with wool.  Oin had tended to her but she could recall seeing Thorin sitting next to the bed looking at her with worried eyes.  His presence had made her feel safe._

_Thorin.  Her heart raced just thinking about him and she felt an aching longing for the handsome dwarf.  How did he feel about her?  Was she just a passing fancy that would disappear once the mountain was reclaimed?  He had kissed her once but that didn’t mean he wanted anything more.  It could have just been the gravity of the situation at the time and he had now dismissed it as simply the result of heightened emotions._

Well, I can’t stay up here all day _, she thought._ I’ll take my cues from him and accept whatever comes. _Nervously, she descended the stairs and made for the kitchen where she could hear the raucous laughter of the Company as they had breakfast._

_“Well, aren’t ye a sight for sore eyes!” exclaimed Bofur as she entered the room._

_“Bella, you’re up,” said Kili, rushing towards her and giving her a hug._

_“It’s good to see our rescuer well again,” said Fili with a cheeky grin.  There were several calls of agreement from the others  around the table._

_“Now sit yourself down and I’ll get you a nice cup of tea,” fussed Dori, leading her to an empty seat.  “Bombur, please get Bella some food.  She needs to build up her strength again.”_

_Slightly overwhelmed by the attention, she let herself be led to a seat which happened to be opposite Thorin’s and her pulse leapt at the look he gave her.  His hypnotic blue eyes were looking intensely into hers, a gleam of something she couldn’t name shining in them.  For a moment it felt as if they were the only ones in the room and she was only pulled back to reality when Ori asked her how she was feeling._

_“I’m much better, thank you, Ori,” she replied, dragging her eyes from Thorin’s with great effort.  She could feel her cheeks burning as she turned towards the young dwarf and even though she wasn’t looking at him, she could still sense Thorin’s gaze upon her._

_“Still looking a little flushed there, lass,” commented Gloin as he shovelled a mouthful of eggs in his mouth.  “Should have stayed in bed longer, I think.”_

_Bella shook her head, not about to admit her red cheeks weren’t caused by her cold, but rather the heated stare of their leader.  “No, I’m fine, thank you, Gloin.  A little breakfast will do me the world of good.”  At her words, Bombur rushed forward to place some bacon and eggs on her plate._

_While she ate, her eyes met Thorin’s and this time she refused to look away, earning herself a slight smirk.  His gaze then roamed over her face before slowly moving down over her throat and to the top of her cleavage which was exposed by the cut and tightness of her dress.  As his gaze lingered there Bella felt the butterflies in her stomach dance a reel at the barely hidden desire she read in his eyes._

_“You look well, Bella,” said Thorin in that deep, velvety voice that had sent shivers down her spine since the moment she met him._

_“Thank you, Thorin,” she replied.  “It’s good to be up and about.”_

_By this time, the rest of the Company were finishing their breakfasts and were making their way out of the kitchen, leaving only the two of them still in the room.  Whether this was by accident or design, Bella didn’t know but she wasn’t about to question it.  The way Thorin was looking at her was making her pulse race and she couldn’t help her gaze roaming over his handsome features from those amazing blue eye to his straight nose and those lips which were so soft to touch, all framed by that glorious mane of dark hair.  Oh, how she wanted to kiss him again._

_“You look lovely in that dress,” he said softly, drawing her back from her thoughts._

_“Thank you,” Bella replied breathlessly and she could almost taste the sexual tension in the air.  She wasn’t in any doubt now that he wanted her, his whole demeanour screamed it, especially now they were alone.  “It feels good to wear one again after so long.”_

_“Would you like to go for a walk around the town?  I need to speak to some people with regards to provisions for when we leave and you could probably do with some fresh air…”_

_“I’d love to, Thorin,” she interrupted with a smile._

_Thorin smiled at her, his eyes lighting up at her enthusiasm which only made them even more compelling.  “Come then, Bella,” he said, standing and holding out his hand.  She jumped up and took it and felt the zing of electricity that raced through her skin when they touched.  She glanced at him  and saw in his face that he felt it too and couldn’t help smiling when his fingers threaded through hers, thrilled at the small intimacy._

_They spent much of the day wandering around the town, meeting with merchants and exploring the town built on stilts over the water.  It seemed as though Thorin took every opportunity to touch her; on her back, shoulders, arms, taking her hand and once pushing a strand of hair off her face, his fingers brushing along her cheek.  It was a subtle seduction that held her in its thrall._

_When she bid them all goodnight, she and Thorin shared a lingering glance as she left the room and walked dreamily back to her bedroom.  As she got ready for bed she daydreamed about Thorin, remembering the way he’d acted towards her today._

_Too wound up to go to sleep, she lay in her bed and tried to sort through her feelings. Longing and desire were prominent amongst them along with an aching tenderness.  She wanted Thorin with a passion that frightened her.  She, who had never met a man that stirred her until this majestic dwarf had walked through her door, wanted to share everything with him, her body, her life, her love.  Yes, she loved Thorin, and may have done so from the very beginning without her realising it.  Why else could his callous behaviour at the beginning of the quest have hurt her so much?  Why would she have blindly thrown herself into danger in order to save him from Azog if she didn’t have deep feelings for him?_

_She loved him with everything in her._

_Lost in thought over an hour later, she nearly missed the soft knock on her door.  When the tap sounded again, she jumped out of bed and raced to it, heart pounding.  Taking a deep breath, she opened it, instinctively knowing who would be standing there._

_“I hope I didn’t awaken you,” said Thorin softly, not wanting to draw attention to them from any of the occupants of the other bedrooms on this floor.  He was only wearing his dark blue shirt and black breeches and Bella could only admire how attractive he looked._

_“No, I wasn’t asleep.”_

_“Good,” he nodded, staring at her.  “May I come in and speak with you?”_

_“Y…yes, of course,” she stammered as she moved back and let him into her bedroom which had been quite an adequate size in her opinion until now; with him in it, the space seemed much too small._

_She had barely closed the door when his hands spanned her waist and pushed her back against it, his lips capturing hers in a fiery kiss that sent her senses into overdrive.  Winding her arms around his neck with a small sigh, she threw herself into the kiss with fervour, their lips and tongues melding together as they frantically drank each other in.  His body pressed hers into the door, allowing her to feel every inch of him, his erection grinding into her stomach.  When his lips left hers, she let out a murmur of protest but he only moved lower to take her earlobe into his mouth, nibbling on it for a moment before trailing his lips down her throat to suckle on a tender spot just below her ear.  His hands had been roaming across her back and over her bottom but when one moved up and cupped her breast, she couldn’t hold back the moan of desire as he gently kneaded it, his thumb teasing her hardened nipple through the material of her nightgown.  His body was the only thing holding her up as her legs had threatened to give way the moment he kissed her._

_Thorin moved to capture her mouth again, taking her bottom lip between his and softly biting on it.  Bella could feel the desire pooling in her belly and ground her hips against his hardness, earning herself a low growl of approval.  Her hands unconsciously moved under his shirt to caress the warm skin there, her fingers tracing over the defined muscles of his stomach.  He felt like he was hewn from the rock from which his race was created, covered in velvet skin and soft hair and it was intoxicating._

_Without her realising it, his hands had pushed the linen of her nightgown off her shoulders, exposing her breasts to his wandering hands.  Her breathing was now coming in gasps as he rolled her pebbled nipples in his fingers, tugging every now and then, making her ache even more.  When he released her lips and moved down to take a nipple in his mouth, Bella couldn’t prevent a soft cry as a bolt of pleasure shot straight from her breast to her feminine core._

_At the sound, Thorin released her nipple with a soft ‘pop’ and looked into her dazed eyes, his own nearly black with passion.  “Bella, is this what you really want?” he asked huskily._

_Never had she been so sure of anything in her life so she simply replied, “Yes.”_

_With a dazzling smile, Thorin swooped down to claim her lips again, as his hands divested her of her nightgown, leaving her completely naked.  With barely a pause, he swept her up into his arms and walked over to the bed before gently laying her down on it.  He sat up and gazed at her unclothed form which made her self-conscious and she moved to cover herself but he took her wrists in his hands._

_“Such beauty should not be hidden, my love,” he whispered._

_“Your…your love?” she asked breathlessly, feeling as if she was on a precipice and everything she ever wanted was just a leap away._

_Bella would never have believed that Thorin was capable of such tenderness if she hadn’t seen it for herself.  He lifted her hand to his mouth and softly kissed her palm before closing her fingers over it and placing her closed fist over her heart._

_“My love,” he confirmed.  Leaning down, he gave her a tender kiss, his lips barely brushing hers as he spoke.  “My heart.  My life.  My Bella.”_

_Tears of joy flooded her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down onto her.  “Oh Thorin, I love you so much.”_

_Her words were the catalyst for the temporarily banked desire to flare back to life.  With barely concealed ferocity, Thorin took her lips with his as his hands roamed over her naked body, committing to memory every curve and hollow.  Nudging her thighs apart, he slowly stroked one finger over her moist core which drove her wild, her body feeling like it was on fire from the unfamiliar sensations.  He leaned up and watched her face as he gently pressed one finger into her, testing her readiness.  When his thumb rubbed circles over her nub, Bella arched her back as waves of pleasure flooded her entire body, her mouth open as she struggled for breath.  When her dazed mind came back to earth, she smiled at the slightly smug expression on Thorin’s face._

_“Oh my,” she breathed shakily as she traced his lips with her fingers._

_“You look truly wondrous in the throes of pleasure, my love,” he rasped, his voice thick with lust.  “Have you ever…?”  he didn’t finish the sentence but Bella knew what he was asking._

_She shook her head.  “No, I’ve never met anyone I ever wanted enough to…” she admitted shyly._

_“Then I will take the utmost care, my heart,” he replied as he kissed her.  “I will stop at nothing to make sure you experience nothing but pleasure.  My love deserves no less,” he declared and proceeded to prove it._

_Within moments his clothes were discarded and Bella could only stare with awe at his aroused body.  It was beyond words and her mouth literally watered with anticipation at their joining.  His incredibly broad shoulders tapered down to a narrow waist, his sculpted chest covered with dark hair that was soft to the touch.  Thighs and calves like tree-trunks were topped by his proudly erect manhood._

_Bella’s eyes widened in slight apprehension at his size but Thorin ran his hand over her heated body.  “We will be perfect together, my love.  I would never hurt you,” he reassured her as he lay down next to her on the bed and took her in his arms, his erection pressing into her hip._

_Without waiting for a reply, Thorin kissed her deeply for a few moments and then began making his way down her body, kissing and licking her sensitised body.  He nudged her legs apart and positioned himself between her thighs and she gasped loudly when his tongue reached out and stroked her core for several minutes before sucking on her tender nub until she climaxed again with another cry, her hands pulling on his braids as if needing an anchor to keep her tethered to this world._

_Not pausing to let her come down from her high, Thorin moved up and with one sure stroke, entered her fully, swallowing her moan with his mouth.  He let her adjust to his possession for a moment and at her signal, began moving within her, their moans and cries the only sounds in the room save for the noise made by their bodies coming together._

_For the first time in her life, Bella felt complete. The loneliness she had felt since her parents had died during the Fell Winter was gone. With Thorin within and around her, it was as if there was nothing in this world that could ever hurt her and she felt utterly safe.  She wrapped herself as tightly as she could around him, never wanting to let go._

_Thorin’s lips moved to the sensitive spot below her ear as his body increased its tempo, his hips grinding into her, desperate to give both of them the ultimate pleasure.  Their breathing grew louder and more ragged as the tension coiled tighter, both teetering on the edge._

_He lifted his head and looked deeply into her eyes, his own glazed with passion and love and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was the other half of her soul._

_“I love you,” he sighed thickly._

_“I love you, too, my king,” she replied._

_Those words were the trigger to reach the pinnacle and with one last thrust, they climaxed together, their cries echoing around the room._

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Bella hadn’t realised that she was crying until she felt a hand on her shoulder and lifted her tear streaked face to see Gandalf looking at her with an expression of deep sympathy. 

 

“Would you like to talk about it?” he asked gently.

 

Her first instinct was to say no, but the memories were so vivid that she felt like she was going to fall apart if she didn’t get them out, so she slowly nodded her head and proceeded to tell him of the events in Lake Town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all the kudos, comments, bookmarks and views. It's greatly appreciated


	8. Chapter 8

Much to Thorin’s relief, his wounds were healing well and he was steadily regaining his strength.  He had stopped needing the pain potion and that seemed to speed up his recovery on its own, now that the side effects were no longer draining him of energy.  He was able to leave his bed for longer and longer periods during the day but by the evening he felt worn out and would usually retire early.

 

Unfortunately, those long nights also meant he spent much of it dreaming of Bella.  When he wasn’t having a nightmare about Bella dying, he would dream of the two of them together in those idyllic weeks before they entered the mountain.  For a moment or two when he awoke he was deliriously happy, believing his dreams were real, before reality hit and he would sink to the depths of despair in the knowledge that his beloved hobbit was not sleeping in his arms.  There, in the privacy of his bedchamber, he would let the tears fall, some mornings missing her so much he felt he would die of the pain.

 

It was a well known fact that dwarves only loved once in their lives and that once they found their ‘one’ they could no more look at another in a romantic way than they could stop breathing.  With so few dwarf women in comparison to the males, it was becoming rarer for dwarves to find their soul mates and many went their entire lives without a partner, their craft filling the gap.  There had been instances of politically arranged marriages amongst the nobles of different kingdoms, particularly before Erebor was lost but they were the exception.  It had been known to happen that one of the partners subsequently met their ‘one’ and the need to be with them had caused the marriages to collapse.  The resulting turmoil that created was deemed too high a price to pay for the sake of a political alliance.  

 

To be away from one’s soul-mate was an agonising thing to bear.  Whilst a dwarf would not automatically die when their ‘one’ died, the loneliness and despair could drive them to take their own life, unable to live without their beloved, unless they had a reason to carry on, like children.  After the battle of Azanulbizar, the fact that many of the widows had children was the only thing that stopped the exiled dwarves from losing many more of their people.  Thorin’s sister, Dis, was a prime example.  She had channelled her grief at the loss of her husband towards her children, pouring all the love she could no longer give her husband into their sons.  If they had died in the recent battle, she would surely have given up and perished along with them.

 

Thorin wondered if he would have coped better if Bella had been killed by the enemy than with the knowledge that he drove her away.   Whilst he would have felt lost and empty, he wouldn’t have the piercing regret and guilt that scraped his insides raw until he felt he was slowly bleeding to death.   His heart would know that nothing he did could bring her back.  As it was, she was somewhere in Middle Earth and the need to be with her, to bring her back home was a compulsion that he fought every minute of the day, only to leave him exhausted by the end of it which resulted in the dreams again.  It was a never ending cycle and he honestly didn’t know how long he could keep going on like this.

 

Only the reality that there was so much to be done kept him from succumbing to his pain.  Regaining the mountain was only the first step, the easiest step.  It was sheer hard work from now on until Erebor was back to its former glory.

 

Now that he was more mobile, he had finally called a council with Bard and Thranduil to negotiate a treaty between their races.  So that they wouldn’t be bogged down with the differing opinions of too many voices that could potentially derail talks, they had all agreed only to take two advisors each with them to the negotiating table. 

 

Thorin had asked Dain and Balin to be his two advisors.  Dain had been angry at first as he wanted to bring some of his men as well but Thorin had denied him. 

 

“Nothing will get agreed to if there are dozens of differing opinions,” pointed out Thorin.  “It will take months before my people arrive from Ered Luin and I need to get this mountain workable again so that there is something here for them when they get here.   The quicker an agreement is reached with the elves and men, the quicker work can begin in earnest.”

 

“So you would give in to their demands?  How do you know they will not take advantage of your weakened state?” replied Dain angrily.  “Why should you treaty with the elves when they have treated you so ill?”

 

“Do you think me so weak that I would lie down and let them walk all over me?”  questioned Thorin angrily.  “I may yet be recovering but I am still the King and I will do what it takes for my people to come back to something resembling a home.   I, not you, watched my people die as we wandered aimlessly through Middle Earth.  I have had to endure their pain and it was because of them that I embarked on this quest.  A quest which you refused to help me with, if I recall.”

 

Dain flushed with guilt at the reminder.  “I apologise, Thorin.  Of course I don’t think you weak.  It just galls me that you have to give up part of your treasure to them.  We dwarves should not have to deal with any other than our own as it’s always been.”

 

“Dain, I need their help.  I am very grateful to you and your men’s help until my people arrive but, without their aid and resources, Erebor cannot be rebuilt.  All those years of being homeless meant we had no option but to deal with other races, many times to our detriment, and we can longer afford to be the secretive people we used to be if we are to make this mountain liveable and workable again.  Those years changed us, changed me.  It will be a fair trade and I will rely on you and Balin to help me ensure that happens.  And I have learned, to my great cost, that the possession of gold, simply for its own sake, does no-one any good.  What good is gold if my people have nothing to eat?   It is a tool, a very powerful tool, and I am grateful that we have it, but in the end, just an instrument to enable us to acquire the things we need.  I am not going to give it away, I will be sure that we get what we need in return.  I saw what the reckless accumulation of gold did to my Grandfather, Dain, and what it did to me.  It brought down a dragon upon our kingdom and it caused me to throw away the most important thing in my life.  I will be damned if I allow that to happen again.”

 

There was silence for a moment after Thorin stopped speaking.  Dain then clasped Thorin’s shoulder and nodded his head.  “I will help you in any way I can, cousin.  I am truly sorry that I did not aid you in reclaiming your home.  It did seem a hopeless task but I should have stood by my kin regardless.”

 

“In the end, it was probably for the best that you didn’t,” replied Thorin.  “While I was angry at first it turned out to be what needed to happen; I just didn’t see it at the time.  Your help now will fulfil any debt you feel you owe me.”

 

The three then spent a number of hours working out what was required to get their kingdom running again, what their terms were during the settlement and what the others had that they could trade their gold for.  Thorin was grateful for their help as they pointed out items he missed and vice-versa.

 

In the end, the negotiations with Bard and Thranduil went better than expected, with only minor disagreements that were easily compromised on.  Thorin expected their meeting to be tense and it was awkward at first but when they all saw that the others were prepared to deal fairly with each other, the atmosphere became much warmer.  Thorin put aside his dislike of Thranduil for the sake of his kingdom.  Though he knew they would never be more than acquaintances, he found that he could work civilly with the elf, particularly after Thranduil gave a long overdue apology for his actions when the dragon came and when he took them prisoner in Mirkwood. 

 

Bard, on the other hand, was someone that Thorin could see himself having closer ties with.  In a way, he saw a little of himself in the man; both were exiled leaders of their kingdoms that now had to work hard to re-establish themselves and do the best for their people.  Dale had once shared a close and mutually beneficial relationship with Erebor and both had suffered at Smaug’s hand.  Thorin believed that the relationship could be restored in time and they would both be better for it.

 

Thorin knew that the most pressing need was to re-establish food supplies.  The land and forests surrounding the mountain had once been very fertile and had provided the crops and game needed to feed the inhabitants of both Erebor and Dale.  The forest was now gone and the farmlands had been barren for decades.   Without a viable food source, there would be no way for anyone to live there again. 

 

The solution had come from an unexpected quarter.

 

“My people may be able to assist with this,” Thranduil announced.  “Whilst mining is a dwarven strength, growing and maintaining forests is ours.  We have millennia of experience in the tending of living things and we may be able to lend this experience in the restoration of the lands to make them arable once more.   Once this is done, we can help restore the forests so that game may once again inhabit them.”

 

“Will this not take several years?” asked Balin.

 

Thranduil shook his head.  “We have our ways that can speed up the process and I predict that within the year there should be a healthy young forest growing.  We can also instruct both your people on the fast and efficient growing of crops so that there may be some harvesting done by mid-summer.”

 

Thorin looked slightly shell-shocked at Thranduil’s offer and took a moment before asking, “And what would you want in return for your help?”  Decades of mistrust did not disappear within a few hours.

 

“I ask only a fair payment in gold.  Also, we have sorely missed the raw materials that we used to obtain from Erebor for the production of weapons and armour as well as other metal items.   We would wish to establish trade again with your kingdom as soon as it is viable to do so.  We could supply you with food while yours are being grown and you supply us with raw metal.”

 

The offer was indeed generous and Thorin couldn’t help thinking that the Elven king might be feeling guilty.  Either way, he was not about to turn it down as their skill could mean that by the time the first of his people arrived, they might already be able to feed themselves.   “I accept your offer,” declared Thorin.

 

An agreement was made to give Bard the gold that had belonged to the kingdom of Dale less what he had already received, as per Balin’s deal with him previously. 

 

“I wish to thank you for returning the Arkenstone,” said Thorin, purposely ignoring the pang he felt at the reminder of how Bard had the gem in the first place.

 

Bard bowed his head in acknowledgement.  “It was not mine to keep, Your Majesty.  I regret the circumstances in which I acquired it and how my actions may have led to the Halfling’s departure.  I only wished to obtain what once belonged to my city, not to steal your treasure.”

 

“I believe my actions were solely responsible for Miss Baggins’ departure,” replied Thorin hollowly.  “I do not agree that what she did was right, but I was the one who exiled her for it.  None of our behaviour did any of us any credit that day but I believe that we can all benefit from each other’s help now.”   He looked around and saw everyone nodding their heads in agreement.

 

The damage that Dale had sustained during Smaug’s attack was much worse than Erebor’s as very few buildings had escaped partial or total destruction and it would take a great deal of rebuilding to make it habitable again.  Knowing how few men with farming experience he had until his people returned, Thorin proposed that in return for the dwarves’ aid with the rebuilding, the people of Dale would take on the growing of crops.  A number of dwarves from the Iron Hills were planning on staying in Erebor and were sending for their families so they would be able to work with the men of Dale.   Also, while Erebor’s damage could have been greater, there was still a huge amount of work to be done to make it habitable again and the aid of the people of Dale who were willing to help with the clean up would be invaluable.  Thorin stressed that any who undertook this work would be paid fairly.

 

Bard readily agreed to the proposal as none were more skilled in stone work than dwarves.  The two race’s strengths would complement each other and with time it was hoped that a healthy trade relationship between the two kingdoms would be re-established.

 

All those around the table knew that there were many years of hard work ahead of them but the tentative beginnings of a brighter future were sown that day.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

After leaving the meeting, Thorin excused himself from the others and slowly made his way towards the treasury room.  He had not been back there since the battle.  He had been too afraid.

 

As he drew nearer, he could hear the voices of the dwarves who had been assigned to count and catalogue its contents under the supervision of Gloin.  Thorin had given him the role as Treasurer for it was well known he was very canny with money and could be trusted implicitly.  Ori was assisting him with the scribe work and was making lists of all the treasures found.  It was going to take several weeks of work but Thorin needed to know the state of Erebor’s wealth before they could move forward. 

 

Without counting it, Thorin knew it would still be a considerable amount even after it was split between the Company as per their contracts.  If there had been no contract, Thorin would have still split the treasure as, without his men, he would not be standing here.  He had ordered that Bella’s share be kept safely until a way was found to give it to her. 

 

Work was already underway to get the mines operational again.  Bofur, as the most experienced miner in the Company, had been put in charge of assessing and implementing what needed to be done.  Until the dwarves from Ered Luin arrived, the mining would not be at full capacity but with the dwarves from the Iron Hills, some mines could be re-opened.      

 

Taking a deep breath, Thorin stepped through the heavy metal doors that had been repaired as a priority.  Would the gold affect him again?

 

“Thorin!” hailed Gloin from just inside.  “Haven’t seen you down here since you’ve been back on your feet.  Come to inspect our work?”

 

Thorin shook his head.  “No.  I have complete faith in you, my friend.  How goes the work?  The stench is still atrocious in here,” he said, keeping his eyes on the stone columns as he tried to avoid looking at the mountains of gold coins.

 

“Aye, that is true,” agreed Gloin.  “We have been trying to get as much fresh air in here as possible but you can’t wipe out decades of dragon filth in a few weeks.  On the other hand, the counting is coming along splendidly.  Ori has been doing an excellent job in cataloguing and writing everything down and I expect we shall have a fairly accurate estimate for you in about a couple of weeks or so.”

 

“Good work, Gloin,” praised Thorin as he clapped his friend’s back.  “We will then need to store Dale’s share of the gold in a separate location until they build their own treasury and it can be moved there.”

 

“I will assign someone to scout out a suitable location,” promised Gloin.  “How did the negotiations go?  Did you kill the elf?”

 

Thorin chuckled a little as he shook his head.  “No, Gloin, I did not.  In fact, the talks went very well and I even got an apology from him.”

 

“No!  Well I suppose better late than never, huh?” harrumphed Gloin.  “Still won’t be able to bring myself to like the pointy-eared tree-hugger, though.”

 

“Can’t say that I will either, my friend, but we do need his help so it’s best to keep relations cordial,” agreed Thorin.  “It may kill me, though.”

 

Gloin burst out laughing, drawing the attention of the nearby dwarves who were working.   He was then summoned by one of them who needed to ask him something, so he excused himself and left Thorin alone.

 

Knowing he could not put it off any longer, Thorin steeled himself and walked further into the room.  Already much of the gold had been sorted through and was stacked in piles as instructed by Gloin rather than lying everywhere as it was when they re-entered the mountain. 

 

As he looked at it, he prepared himself to resist its lure, conscious of any change in his feelings.  This gold had driven his grandfather mad and had caused him to mistreat his love and rather than feeling a pull towards it, he was aware that he actually felt a vague repulsion as he took in the piles of precious metal.  

 

It had caused him nothing but misery since he had re-entered the mountain and was to blame for his heartbreak and loneliness.  He remembered manically digging through mountains of coins while searching for the Arkenstone, ignoring Bella’s pleas to take rest and eat and the harsh words he’d used to get her to leave him.  He’d seen the hurt in her eyes but had ignored it in favour of a gem and piles of cold metal.

 

No, never again would the lure of gold take his reasoning.  The price he had paid had been too high.

 

Turning on his heel, he hurriedly left the treasury.  His gold-sickness had claimed another victim.  It was time he repaired the rift between himself and his nephew.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Since the battle, Kili had barely said a few words to him.  He had been bedridden for nearly as long as Thorin and was still wearing bandages and a sling as his arm healed slowly.  As both got more mobile, they had begun to take their meals with the other dwarves but Kili had avoided sitting at Thorin’s table.  Instead he would sit with the dwarves of the Iron Hills whilst Thorin was, as king, forced to sit with Dain and his nobles who had come with him.  When he tried to approach his nephew, Kili would evade him by leaving from another exit and disappearing into the mountain.

 

Kili blamed him for Bella’s leaving and he was right to do so, sighed Thorin.  He knew the two had formed a close bond during the journey and seeing his uncle treat her the way he had had deeply angered and appalled him.  So much so, that he could hardly stand to be in the same room as Thorin, much less talk to him as he once had.

 

Thorin found he missed his nephew’s silly jokes and even the pranks he pulled on him.  He had looked upon Kili almost as a son and this estrangement made him deeply unhappy. 

 

This rift was also affecting Fili and Kili’s relationship.  Fili had spent a lot of time with Thorin during his recovery and he could see the sadness within Thorin.  He knew his uncle regretted what had happened and missed Bella deeply.  Yet, when he tried to tell Kili this in an attempt to repair the damage, Kili angrily dismissed it and still refused to talk to Thorin.  Fili felt like he was being pulled in two directions and Thorin could see how it was hurting him.

 

He was the cause of this and it would be up to him to try to repair his relationship with Kili.

 

After making enquiries as to Kili’s whereabouts, he was pleased to learn that he had returned to his bedchamber in order to have his arm tended to.  Oin had instructed that Kili do exercises with it every day so that it might regain as much movement and mobility as possible.  This meant that Kili would be effectively ‘trapped’ in his room for the next hour and be unable to evade him.

 

Feeling surprisingly nervous about the encounter, Thorin hesitated outside Kili’s door instead of knocking.  This could go well or it could make things worse, but the problem needed to be addressed and he knew he couldn’t put if off any longer.  Besides, he _needed_ to fix things with Kili.  He’d lost his love; he couldn’t take losing Kili as well, and all through his own actions.

 

Just as he was about to knock, the door opened and Oin stopped in surprise, not expecting his King to be on the other side, before smiling in greeting.

 

“Good timing, Thorin,” he said.  “We’ve just finished up here and young Kili is just getting re-dressed.”

 

“Thank you, Oin,” nodded Thorin as he entered the room.  Oin gave a slight bow and left, closing the door behind him.

 

Kili had been facing away from the door and was adjusting his shirt when he heard his uncle’s voice.  Turning around, he scowled when he saw Thorin lock the door and move towards him.

 

“What do you want?” he growled, turning away, making it abundantly clear that he did not wish to speak to his uncle.

 

“Kili, you have been avoiding me since we left our sickbeds.”

 

“Well, doesn’t that tell you something?  I don’t want to talk to you,” replied Kili, flushing darkly with anger.

 

“I know you’re angry with me, but please, can we discuss it?  You are very dear to me and I don’t want us to be estranged from each other.”

 

“If I say no, will you toss me from the battlements as well?” snarled Kili.

 

Thorin flinched at the venom in his nephew’s words and marvelled at his accuracy in striking him precisely where it hurt the most.  Running his hand through his hair in frustration, he moved to sit in a chair near the bed.  He saw Kili stand as if to move towards the door.  “I have the key, Kili,” he pointed out, holding it up to for Kili to see.

 

Realising he was effectively trapped, Kili irately threw himself down on his bed, wincing as the movement jolted his arm.

 

“I would not have you injure yourself any more,” said Thorin, noticing the pain in Kili’s face.

 

“It’s fine,” replied Kili.  “Well, what do you want to tell me?”

 

Ordinarily, Kili’s tone would have Thorin making his displeasure known at his nephew’s show of disrespect but he had greater issues to tackle so he let it pass.

 

“We need to talk about…Bella.  My actions towards her are what have made you so incensed and I wish to hear what you have to say.”

 

Kili glared at his uncle.  “What is there to say?  You treated her like you would an orc and nearly killed her!  If Fili and I hadn’t stopped you, she would be dead.  How could you do that to someone you love?  If I displease you in future, will you exile or kill me?  All our lives, you taught us to respect and take care of women, that harming one was punishable by death, yet you nearly strangled her to death.  I saw the terror in her eyes yet you kept going.  How could you?”  His voice was thick with unshed tears.

 

Staring at his hands, it took a few moments before Thorin spoke.  “You will never know the shame and regret I feel over my actions that day, Kili.  You will never know the nightmares I suffer every night as I watch myself hurt her all over again.  I would give everything I have to turn back time and repair what I broke.  The pain in my heart is an endless agony and I don’t know if it will ever heal.  There is a void in my soul that is endless,” he said gruffly.

 

“Why did you do it?”

 

“It will never be an acceptable excuse, but I was not in my right mind that day.  Despite my fears, the gold-sickness took a hold of me and would not let me see past my selfish need to hoard all of it for myself.  I thought I was in control until I learned what Bella did with the Arkenstone and then all restraint was lost and I did what I did.”  Thorin rose and began to pace the room.  “No, I must be completely honest with you, if you are ever to forgive me.  I was also grievously hurt at her betrayal.  Whilst I can now logically see why she did it, it hurt that she chose to give away the very symbol of our kingdom instead of entrusting it to me.  It was as if all the promises we made to each other were no longer valid if she didn’t trust me.  She kept wanting me to give in to their demands, not seeing how it would weaken me in everyone’s eyes.  I cannot be an effective ruler if I seem weak.  She would not see that.”

 

“None of us could talk to you then, Thorin,” pointed out Kili.  “She wanted us kept alive.”

 

“Do you not think I know that?” replied Thorin heatedly.  “But did she have to betray me to achieve that?  I have never given my heart to anyone, I didn’t believe it would ever happen and her actions ripped me apart.  I trusted her.  It would have been better if you had all tied me up and locked me away until I came to my senses than for her to hurt me like that.  So that hurt turned to anger and combined with the gold-sickness, I did the unforgiveable.”

 

“If she had given you the Arkenstone, would things have been different?” asked Kili.

 

Thorin shrugged his shoulders as he sat down again.  “I don’t know.  Perhaps.  Having the stone may have snapped me out of the sickness and helped me think more clearly or it may have changed nothing.  I will never know.”

 

“Why haven’t you put it back on the throne if you wanted it so badly?”

 

“After all that happened, I can’t bring myself to look at it now.  It only brings me bad memories.  I will have to have it returned but I will wait until our people are here.” 

 

Neither spoke for a few minutes, both lost in their thoughts.  “You were terrifying that day.  You didn’t look or sound like our uncle,” said Kili quietly.

 

Thorin sighed.  “I am so terribly sorry you saw me like that, Kili.  I am sorry all of you had to witness it.  I hope you will not forever judge me for that one, miserable mistake.  If I could change it I would, but I have to live with it.”  He looked at his nephew.  “You, Fili and Dis are my only family and I could not bear to have you hate me as Bella surely does.”

 

“I…I don’t hate you, Uncle,” replied Kili.  “I was just so angry at you but now I see that you are suffering more than from any punishment any of us could mete out.  Y…you miss her badly, don’t you?”

 

Thorin lowered his head onto his hands and nodded.  “Every single second, Kili.  I cannot seem to breathe without her,” he said brokenly.

 

Seeing so much raw emotion was terrifying for Kili and his youth made it difficult to understand.  If love caused this much pain, he didn’t know if he wanted any part of it.    Kili placed his hand on Thorin’s shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze.  “Why don’t you go and bring her back?”

 

“She must hate me, Kili.  If you were angry at me, how do you think she feels?”

 

“You don’t know that.  Maybe she misses you just as much as you miss her.”

 

“I doubt it but anyway, how can I leave Erebor when there is so much to be done?  It would be irresponsible to leave my duties just for my own personal wishes.  Back in Ered Luin I had more freedom but now that I take up the crown, my life will no longer be solely my own.”

 

“And what of your happiness, Uncle?  Don’t you deserve happiness after all you have done for us?  Would not our people prefer to have a king that has a queen he loves by his side than to see him slowly wither away from misery?” asked Kili.  When Thorin didn’t say anything he tried another tack.  “She’s your ‘One’, isn’t she?”  Thorin simply nodded.  “Well then, we all know that a dwarf needs to be with his ‘One’ or he will eventually fade from heartbreak.  What better excuse to leave Erebor and go get Bella back?” he argued.  “Besides, it will take months before the caravans from Ered Luin begin arriving so now would be the best time to follow her.”

 

“Bella would need to _want_ to come back and I doubt that,” replied Thorin sadly.  “No Kili, there are too many reasons why it is not possible.  I will have to live with my regret for the rest of my miserable life.”  He looked at Kili with a faint smile that didn’t reach his eyes.  “I am glad you don’t hate me.  I do love you like a son.”

 

“I love you too, Uncle Thorin,” he replied.  “And we will get Bella back, you’ll see.”

 

Thorin shook his head and stood up, embracing his nephew in a hug, careful not to jolt his arm.  Feeling weary after the last few hours, he decided to head back to his bedchamber and rest before dinner and as he walked, he realised he felt just a little bit lighter than he had this morning.

 

Kili watched his uncle leave and shook his head sadly.  Thorin might deny it, but eventually his need to be with his ‘one’ would become too much to bear and something would need to be done.  Kili only hoped that day would be soon, for his uncle’s sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you all for the great response to the last chapter, it was much appreciated. Thanks for the comments, kudos, bookmarks and views.


	9. Chapter 9

Much to her surprise, confiding in Gandalf had actually made Bella feel better about her situation.  Sharing her memories with the wizard had been cathartic and seemed to lighten the weight of her emotions.  Of course she hadn’t given him any intimate details of hers and Thorin’s relationship – those memories were too precious to be shared with anyone except Thorin and were safely guarded within her heart – but if felt good to speak of the pleasant memories.  In a way, it seemed to validate her feelings and the rightness of their relationship, before it went sour.

Gandalf had not made any comment, had simply listened to Bella speak and she was grateful for it.  Maybe by the time she returned home, she would be able to live with some semblance of peace within her heart.  

As planned, they met their two elven guides, Alcanar and Lindiriel, on the edges of the forest.  Bella said her farewell to Bridie, her pony, giving her an extra apple in gratitude for bearing her this far in safety.  The elves spoke to them in their language and both horses turned and headed north.

“Where are they going?” asked Bella curiously

“They are headed towards one of our outposts north of here.  There, they will be fed and cared for and eventually returned to Lord Bard,” replied Lindiriel.

Bella nodded and studied the two elves.  As expected, they were both very good-looking, with tall, lithe bodies and long, fair hair.  As much as she disliked Thranduil, she was impressed that he did not seem to have a problem with female elves serving in his guard.  Lindiriel seemed as fierce a warrior as Alcanar and Bella was pleased to have another female around.  Having been surrounded by only males for so long, it was nice to have another woman to talk to, even if she was from another race.

The elves were to accompany them to Thranduil’s caves where they were to rest for two days and then a larger party would guide them through to the forest gate.  The danger of the giant spiders was still ever-present but with the elves’ assistance, they would be able to safely travel the forest path.

The elves, particularly Lindiriel, were very interested in Bella, neither having seen a hobbit before.  As the north-eastern part of the forest was a little less dense and dangerous than the rest, the travel was easier and the two women were able to converse quite a bit, especially when they camped for the night.  Lindiriel’s company took Bella’s mind off her problems for a while, which she was grateful for as they learned about each other. 

The night before they were due to arrive at the caves, the two women were sitting by the fire as Gandalf slept and Alcanar took watch. 

“I hope I do not give offence, but I sense a deep sadness in you, Bella,” said Lindiriel softly.

Bella didn’t look at the elleth but slowly nodded her head.  “I suppose it’s obvious, huh?”

“A little.  Though you smile with your mouth, it does not reach your eyes and I notice you seem lost in your memories at times,” replied the elf. 

“Yes, I do tend to drift off at times,” said Bella with a wry smile.  “I lost someone recently and I am still missing him greatly.”

“I am sorry to hear that.  Was it in the recent battle?”

“Yes, but he did not die.  He sent me away for something I did and I suffer from a broken heart.”

Lindiriel reached over and took Bella’s small hand in hers.  “I feel for you, Bella.  Are you sure there is no way to repair things with him?”

“No, I’m sure.  He will never forgive me and so I must bear the loss.”

“I pray that the Valar will ease your pain and I hope that the situation is not as bad as you believe and that one day you may be reunited with your love.”

“I don’t think that will happen, but I thank you for your kind words, Lindiriel.  I am glad to have met you,” said Bella sincerely, touched by the elleth’s words.

“As am I, Bella.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The reception by the elves of Mirkwood was a far cry from the one the dwarves received on their journey to Erebor.  She and Gandalf were escorted to a couple of guest rooms which were elegantly furnished in the typical style of the elves; lots of carvings of flora and fauna and with delicate, natural fabrics covering the bed and cushions on the chairs.  Bella couldn’t help snort a little at the contrast – being treated like visiting royalty when the real royalty, dwarven royalty, had languished in cold, dark cells until she rescued them.

To Bella’s immense relief, Thranduil had not yet returned from Erebor and was instead greeted by his son, Legolas. 

“It is an honour to meet you, my lady,” he greeted in his silvery voice, his blue eyes shining.  Bella could easily discern the resemblance to his father – blond, tall, and very good-looking as seemed to be the norm for elves – though Legolas seemed less hard and world-weary than his father. 

He didn’t realise it, but Bella had seen him on several occasions during the time when she was sneaking around the caves, disguised by the ring, first looking for her dwarves and then trying to find a way to free them.  The memory made her angry every time and she couldn’t help herself when she retorted, “At least we’re not being imprisoned this time!” 

Legolas looked taken aback and Gandalf looked down at her and furiously whispered, “Bella Baggins!”

Bella immediately felt ashamed of herself.  It wasn’t Legolas’ fault the dwarves were imprisoned, it was his father’s, and he didn’t deserve her censure.  Also, she was a guest here, however reluctantly, and her mother had always drummed into her the importance of showing respect to your hosts.

“I’m sorry, Your Highness.  That was uncalled for and terribly rude,” she apologised, blushing in embarrassment.

“Please, it is I, on behalf of my father, who should be apologising.  Though I do not recall seeing you here before, I know that you must have been instrumental in freeing Thorin Oakenshield.  I regret that Thorin and his Company were treated in so poor a fashion by my people.  I did not agree with my father’s decision at the time, but I could not go against him.  I am glad that the dwarves’ quest has been successful and that the dragon is gone forever.  He has long been a shadow over our lives as well, which was partly why my father acted as he did.  Please, I beg you will avail yourself now of our hospitality until you are ready to leave.  If you like, I can show you around later, once you have rested.”

How could she throw the Prince’s graciousness back in his face without looking like a miserable shrew?  She couldn’t, so she nodded her head and gave him a small smile.  “Thank you, I would like that.”

As promised, Legolas showed her around the massive caves that housed the Mirkwood Elves after she had eaten and rested a while.  She had seen quite a bit of it before but hadn’t taken much in due to her desperation to free Thorin and the dwarves and the effect of the ring.  Now she was able to appreciate the scale of the place and its uniqueness.  Legolas proved to be an affable host, though she could tell he would be a formidable warrior if needed. 

Tired from the journey, Bella excused herself after dinner, leaving Gandalf and Legolas to talk about issues facing Middle Earth and went to bed.  Tomorrow, she was going to find the dungeons where she had spent so much time the last time she was here.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It took a little trial and error, but Bella finally found her way down to the cells where the Company had been kept.  As there was no-one in them, there weren’t any guards stationed that could prevent her from going into them so she grabbed a torch and made her way down the gloomy stairs.

The cells were located over several floors, though why Thranduil would have so many, she didn’t know.  Two floors below were the cells that housed the Company, two to a cell.  Bella saw that they were completely empty and shuddered at the memory of seeing her dwarves, stripped of their armour and outer clothes, languishing in them for nearly two weeks. 

Moving on, she descended the stairs for another two levels and reached the cell where Thorin had been kept separate from his men.  There was only a faint light from the stairs and the torch she carried, otherwise, it was perpetually in darkness as well as being dank and musty, with hardly any fresh air.

It made Bella angry at Thranduil all over again.  How dare he subject Thorin to this for no good reason?  She understood he was afraid of the dragon, so was everyone else, but to treat Thorin like he would a common criminal and subject him to isolation and keep him in the dark was simply unconscionable.  Were it not for the company she had kept him, whilst not looking for a way out, she didn’t know what mental state Thorin would have been in by the time they escaped.

Pushing away her anger, Bella looked at the empty cell as memories of their time here rushed back.  She placed the torch in a holder and then sat down with her back to the cold, metal bars, as she had so many times during Thorin’s imprisonment, and let herself remember…

_“Thorin?” she whispered, trying to adjust her eyes to the dimness of the room.  Hobbits were lovers of sunlight, not dark, so her eyesight in this gloom was not very good.  She knew that Thorin would be able to see much better than her, dwarves being accustomed to living underground._

_“Bella?  Is that you?” replied Thorin, rushing up from the thin mattress on the floor and leaning against the bars as he peered through them, trying to discern where the hobbit’s voice was coming from.  “Where are you?  I can’t see you.”_

_The hazy world of the ring made Thorin’s features distorted but she could see how dishevelled he looked after several days in here, his hair matted and lank and wearing only his thin undershirt and breeches.  Despite that, she was never so happy to see anyone._

_She had been so worried when Thorin had disappeared in the forest after they were separated and the Company had been attacked by the giant spiders.  She didn’t know if he had been killed by one of those monstrous creatures or if he was still wandering aimlessly in the forest, lost and starving.  Wearing the ring, she had followed the elves when they had taken the captured dwarves back to the caves, only just managing to sneak in before the gates shut.  She lost track of the dwarves then as she had hidden behind a large carving.  Although she was invisible, the elves would still be able to feel her if they touched her, and with all the activity surrounding the new prisoners, she thought it best to wait until it was quieter before trying to find where they had been taken._

_The caves turned out to be a massive labyrinth of walkways, tunnels and rooms so finding them had not been easy.  Also, she was exhausted, hungry and thirsty and wearing the ring was like adding a great load to her shoulders.  If she didn’t eat something soon, she was going to collapse.  It was only by a sheer stroke of luck that she overhead a couple of elves mentioning the midday meal and managed to follow them to a large eating hall.  From there, it was relatively simple to sneak to an unfinished plate and snatch the food while no-one looked.  Nori would have been proud of her._

_After eating she found a secluded corner and slept for an hour or so and then began her search.  It took nearly two days of sneaking around the caves, avoiding elves and getting hopelessly lost before she managed to find the corridor that led down to the cells.  Hobbits were known for being able to remain unseen if they wished, but even so, she didn’t take off the ring until she was able to determine that there were no guards on duty, before revealing herself to the dwarves on this level._

_Despite the situation, it was very amusing to see the expression on their faces when she suddenly appeared out of mid-air._

_“Mahal above!  What trickery is this?” exclaimed Dwalin, his eyes wide with shock as  were those of his cell-mate, Ori._

_“Hello Dwalin,” smiled Bella as she got her bearings again after having worn the ring for so long.  It was a relief to take it off._

_“Miss Bella, where did you spring from?” asked an astonished Dori._

_She looked around and could only see six of the dwarves on this level.  The others were being locked away somewhere else, which was disheartening.  It would mean further searching.  In cells next to each other were Dwalin and Ori, Dori and Fili and Bifur and Bombur and all were looking at her like she was some sort of apparition.  Though she had been wearing the ring when she cut down the webs, in all the confusion none of the dwarves had noticed as they had been captured by the elves almost immediately._

_“I didn’t tell you before, but when I became lost in the goblin caves, I found something.  A magic ring.”_

_“A magic ring?  That’s brilliant!” exclaimed Fili excitedly._

_“What kind of magic?” asked Bombur._

_“Well, it makes one invisible when you put it on,” explained Bella.  “I followed you when you were captured and I’ve spent the whole time looking for you.  Where are the rest of you?  Have you seen Thorin?” she asked urgently._

_“An invisible ring?  You’ll be able to get us out of here,” stated Dwalin._

_“Well, I’m going to do my very best, Dwalin,” she replied.  “But I need to find all of you.  Do you know if Thorin is here?”_

_“Aye, he is, according to that tree-hugging scum who put us here,” growled Dwalin.  “But we don’t know where.  I figure it must be nearby as this seems to be where the cells are and I doubt they are giving Thorin the royal treatment.”_

_“Very well, I’ll just keep looking until I find him,” declared Bella.  “I promise I will find the rest of the Company and Thorin and I’m going to find a way out of here.  How often do the guards come down here?”_

_“They come twice a day to feed us,” replied Fili.  “In the morning and then in the late afternoon, by our reckoning.  The rest of the time they leave us alone.”_

_“That’s good.  It will give me more time to search.  I’m so glad to see you all,” she said and stepped forward to give them all a hug through the bars.  Except Dwalin.  She wasn’t brave enough for that._

_“Aye lass, we are too,” said Dwalin, with what could have passed for a smile._

_With whispers of ‘good luck’ in her ears, she carried on down the stairs until she came to an identical room to the one just one level up which housed the other six dwarves, but still no Thorin._

_She hadn’t put the ring back on as she was confident there were no guards, although she kept it in her hand just in case, so the dwarves down here didn’t get the shock of watching her reappear from thin air._

_“Bella!” cried out Kili, and was immediately shushed by Nori who was sharing his cell._

_“Do you want the guard to hear us?” he grumbled.  “They’re elves.  They have good hearing and you yelling out like that will have them here in no time.”_

_“Sorry,” replied Kili sheepishly, before giving another huge grin.  “Bella, you’re safe!” he said, although much more quietly._

_“Yes, I’m fine, Kili.  Oh, I am glad I’ve found you, but I still can’t find Thorin,” she said, moving to the bars to give Kili a hug._

_“What about the others, though.  Have you found them?” asked Bofur worriedly.  His face was a far cry from the normally sunny disposition he usual wore._

_“Yes, they are just one level up,” replied Bella, reassuringly._

_“Well, that’s good,” said Balin, in a cell with Oin, who was struggling to hear the hushed conversation._

_“But where is Thorin?” asked Gloin.  “That elven scum had better not have harmed our king!” Bofur placed a hand on his arm in an effort to calm him down before he started bellowing in rage, as Gloin was apt to do._

_“I’m going to keep looking for him,” promised Bella._

_“How is it you haven’t been seen, lass?” asked Balin curiously.  “I know hobbits can be stealthy but even so…”_

_“I have a magic ring,” admitted Bella and proceeded to explain about the ring and even had to put it on to convince them she was telling the truth._

_“What I couldn’t do with one of those,” said Nori covetously._

_“Don’t even think about it, Nori,” warned Bella with a frown.  “This is no magic trick.  I only wear it so I can find a way out of here.”_

_Promising she would return as soon as she could, Bella left them to continue her search for Thorin._

_Hearing footsteps coming from above she quickly donned the ring and backed up as close to the wall as possible.  Three elves were making their way down with food for the dwarves but one of them veered off into another doorway.  Acting on a hunch, Bella followed him as closely as possible as he walked down yet another set of steps.  It was almost completely dark down here, only lit by the torch he carried._

_He reached a single door that he pulled open and entered the room behind.  Bella was not quick enough to enter without drawing attention, so she waited just beside it, noticing the door was not locked.  Once he left, she would sneak in.  There was obviously someone in there or they wouldn’t be bringing food._ Please be Thorin _, she thought._

_Finally, he left and she hurriedly snuck into the room where she could see the outline of someone behind the bars.  It was so hard to see in this light, and wearing the ring didn’t help.  “Thorin?”_

_“Bella? Is that you?” replied Thorin, pressing up against the metal bars.  “Where are you? I can’t see you?”_

_She had to repress the wholly inappropriate urge to laugh at the look on Thorin’s face when she took the ring off._

_“What in…?” said a stunned Thorin when he saw his burglar appear before his very eyes._

_“I’ll tell you later,” dismissed Bella as she rushed to the bars and hugged him briefly before pulling away abruptly, blushing furiously, grateful the dimness hid it from him although there was another strange look on his face.  “Sorry.  I was… just…just… so relieved to f…find you,” she stammered nervously._

_“Are you alright?  He interrupted as he took her hand in his, sending a shiver through her body.  “How did you find me?  Have you seen the others?”_

_As she related what she had been doing, she noted that he hadn’t let go of her hand, a fact which she made no effort to bring to his attention.  She couldn’t help the feeling of safety he imbued by his mere presence, even behind bars.  Since their time at the Carrock, their relationship had become much warmer and she finally felt like a full member of the Company._

_For her part, Bella knew she was infatuated with Thorin.  She had always been attracted to the handsome dwarf, even if she had tried to ignore it but since he had accepted her and called her a friend, her feelings had deepened.  Every smile, every touch, accidental or otherwise made her pulse race though she tried valiantly to hide her reaction from him.  It would be just too humiliating to have him know of her crush and be amused by it, or worse, horrified._

_Now that she had found all her dwarves, Bella was determined to keep searching for an escape for them.  She was going to act as a go-between for Thorin and the two groups of prisoners whilst scouring the caves for a possible weakness in Thranduil’s security.  Unfortunately it meant wearing the ring for many hours of the day but there was no other choice.  Thorin was slightly wary of the ring, and wasn’t happy that Bella had to wear it but she was their only hope._

_When she wasn’t hunting for an escape route, she spent her time with the dwarves and in particular, Thorin.  When she was able, she stole food from the elves and gave it to the Company to supplement their rations.  For Thorin, she brought back the choicest finds she had and the two fell into a pattern of sitting in his cell, her outside, he within, as they shared her spoils and talked.  Always an ear was kept out for the guards, who took Thorin away every day to be interrogated by Thranduil, but once the final meal was supplied, were not seen until the morning._

_Both leaning back against the bars, they would talk long into the night, sharing things about themselves that they hadn’t told anyone else.  The darkness of the room created an atmosphere of intimacy and safety, allowing them to speak their thoughts.  When Bella spoke about the loss of her parents, Thorin held her hand as she cried, and when he told her of the pain of seeing so many people die when the dragon came, she rubbed his back in sympathy, realising that much of his harsh exterior was a kind of armour used to conceal the true depth of emotions he felt from the world.  Bella realised she’d never felt as close to anyone as she felt to Thorin Oakenshield._

_Finally, after nearly two weeks, a breakthrough happened when Bella discovered a possible way out of the caves through the underground loading docks the elves used to send back empty wine barrels to Lake Town via the river that passed through the caves.  If she could get the dwarves inside the barrels, they could float out through the small opening when the elves pushed the supposedly empty casks into the water.  She discovered that the elves were having a celebration in two nights which would provide a distraction, allowing her to steal the keys, which she had discovered days ago but hadn’t bothered taking as without a way out of the caves, the dwarves would have nowhere to run.  It seemed a mad idea, but it was the only one she could find._

_Thorin’s reaction to her plan was less than enthusiastic until she got angry and told him to find his own way out and he reluctantly agreed that there were no other options available and Durin’s Day was fast approaching, making it imperative they escape soon.  The rest of the dwarves were even more sceptical but seeing as Thorin had agreed to her idea, had no recourse but to go with it._

_The night before the planned escape, Bella sat with Thorin going over the details once more.  When they finished, a comfortable silence fell over them as they contemplated the likely success, or failure, of their escape plan.  Bella was worrying about what could go wrong, which was a lot if she thought about it, when Thorin took her hand, chasing all thoughts of escape out of her mind. She looked up and her breath caught in her throat when she realised how close their faces were.  It was only a short stretch to reach those kissable lips she had been fantasising over for weeks now.  Blushing furiously, she tried to pull her hand from his in order to move away but his fingers tightened, keeping hers trapped._

_“Bella,” he said softly, the deep timbre of his voice giving her chills.  Looking up, his eyes were dark and hooded, the expression in them indecipherable.  “Thank you.”_

_“What…what for?” she whispered._

_“For all you’ve done for us.  I know it’s not been easy for you, wearing the ring, but you’ve shown courage I did not believe possible when I first met you.  Without you, I don’t know how we would have escaped this place.”_

_“We haven’t escaped yet, Thorin,” she pointed out.  “It may not work.”_

_“But you have given us hope, Bella, where we had none before.  You saved my life once, and now you may have saved the quest and I will be forever in your debt.”_

_“It’s my quest too, Thorin.  And you are all my family now, so I will do anything to help you.  You don’t owe me anything.”_

_“I owe you more than you realise,” he said cryptically, one large hand raising to cup her cheek.  “I thank the day Gandalf led me to your door.”_

_By this time, Bella’s heart was pounding.  He was so close, only the metal bars between them, and he was looking at her intently, his eyes lowering to her lips, which felt full and tingly._

_His other hand reached up and he was holding her face gently, his thumbs softly stroking her cheeks.  She had given up breathing by now._

_“Bella,” he murmured as he lowered his head and kissed her._

_Oh Aǘle, it was heaven!  His lips caressed hers, drinking in their sweetness and she couldn’t help but be surprised by how soft they were.  He was so hard but his lips were like velvet and she wanted more.  Her arms rose to encircle his neck but the bars were in the way, so she had to manoeuvre past them to hold him as close as she could, her hands entangled in his hair.  With a soft groan, he lowered his arms and encircled her waist, holding her as tightly as possible._

_How she wished these damned bars weren’t in the way!  Still, they didn’t stop her enjoyment of Thorin’s kiss, especially when his tongue reached out and parted her lips, seeking entry which she readily gave._

_For several minutes, they clung to each other, their lips and tongues working in a synchronised dance that left both of them breathless.  Bella could have happily spent the rest of her life simply kissing Thorin but their interlude was interrupted when Thorin moved to kiss her neck but ended up hitting his head on the bar.  For a moment they simply looked at each other, before they both burst out laughing._

_“Damned bar,” he growled but he was smiling.  “Just wait until there’s nothing between us.”_

_Bella blushed, heart pounding at the implied promise in his voice.  “I look forward to it,” she replied, surprised at her boldness, but thrilled nonetheless._

_With a grin, Thorin let her go and suggested they get as much sleep as they could since the next day was going to be eventful.  Even when they settled down, Bella on some blankets she’d found which she hid during the day, they lay on either side of the bars, their hands entwined…_

Coming back to the present, Bella vaguely wondered how long she had been sitting here, remembering.  Reliving their first kiss made her longing for Thorin so intense, she grabbed her knees tightly, willing herself not to cry.  She missed him so badly. 

Eventually regaining her control, she got up and with a final glance at this room that held so many memories, walked out without looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much once again for all the kudos, comments, views and bookmarks. It very much appreciated, I promise.


	10. Chapter 10

It took over two weeks to get through Mirkwood and Bella couldn’t help but be thankful for the elves’ presence.  The forest was still as dark and gloomy as it was before, but the knowledge of their elven guides made the journey much more bearable.  There was food and water, for a start.  Bella recalled how hungry and thirsty the Company had been, leading them to stray from the path despite Gandalf and Beorn’s warnings.

 

Eight elves had been assigned to lead them to the forest gate, Lindiriel being one of them, which Bella was very happy about.  Between them, they carried enough supplies and had the knowledge of how to cross the river that had caused the Company so much grief.  And whether it was elven magic or something else, they were not bothered by the spiders, to her relief.  She never wanted to encounter those monsters again.

 

The elves could have travelled much faster but they adjusted their speed in order to accommodate Bella’s small stature.  One had even offered to carry her but she had refused, snorting indignantly.  She was small, not disabled, and even though her legs were short, she had enough stamina to make the trek on her own two, furry feet!  A glance at Gandalf told her he was highly amused at the situation.

 

Over the course of the journey, she and Lindiriel spent much time together and Bella knew she was going to miss the lovely elf when they parted company.  It was so long since she had simply shared friendly gossip with another woman that it greatly eased her weary heart.  She had come to know the rest of the elves, but she now shared a genuine friendship with Lindiriel and hoped that they would see each other again one day.

 

At last, they reached the forest gate and finally emerged into the sunlight.  Bella took in a deep breath and turned her face to the sun and simply enjoyed its gentle warmth after so long. 

 

Gandalf indicated that they were going to camp and wait here for Beorn’s horses to arrive the next day, once he sent word of their arrival.  The elves quickly went about setting up camp and they were quite a merry gathering that night as they sat around the campfire singing elven songs and encouraging Bella to sing some hobbit songs.  She refused at first, her heart simply not up to trying to sing a joyful song when it felt the opposite, but she was eventually persuaded and was glad for it afterwards as the songs did cheer her up a little.

 

Late the next day, Beorn appeared in the distance, leading two ponies that were to transport them back to his house.  The camp had been struck and the elves were ready to depart and head back into the forest.

 

Bella asked Lindiriel if she would go with her a little way from the rest and the two walked out of hearing distance.

 

“I just wanted to say goodbye privately and to thank you for being such a good friend,” said Bella, a little tearfully at the thought of leaving yet another friend, albeit unexpected.

 

“It has been a pleasure and an honour to know you, Bella Baggins,” replied Lindiriel.  “I have greatly enjoyed learning about hobbits and of your adventures and I will miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, Lindiriel,” said Bella.  “I fully expected not to like any elf from Mirkwood but it was impossible not to like you.  I hope that we may meet again one day.”

 

“I shall like that,” smiled the elleth.  “In the meantime, go with the blessings of the Valar and I pray that they will keep you safe on your journey.”

 

“Thank you,” said Bella, hugging her friend around the waist, a gesture returned whole heartedly.  “Keep safe in the forest.”

 

Lindiriel nodded as they pulled apart.  “I also hope that you and your beloved Thorin find a way back to each other,” she said with a gentle smile.

 

Bella’s eyes widened in shock.  She had never mentioned Thorin’s name as the person she was grieving for.  “How…how did you know?  I never told you his name.”

 

“Every time his name was mentioned by you, your face changed and I knew who it was you long for.”

 

“Yes, well,” said Bella, looking at the ground. 

 

“Do not fret.  I will not divulge your personal business to anyone,” Lindiriel reassured her.  “I just wish you all the best and I believe that if the love you shared was true, you will find a way to be together again.”

 

“Thank you again though I do not hold the same hope,” replied Bella.

 

“Never lose hope, Bella.  One never knows what the Valar have in store for us.”

 

With that, they walked back to others and prepared to greet Beorn for the next stage of her journey home.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

“Little Bunny!  It is good to see you safe and well,” thundered Beorn with a grin on his face.

 

Bella wished he wouldn’t call her that but no matter how many hints she had given him, he either didn’t get them or just chose to ignore her.  Mentally shrugging her shoulders, she went to greet him.  It gave her a crick in her neck to look at him in the face as she only came to his waist, giant of a being that the skin-changer was.

 

“Thank you, Beorn.  It is good to see you too,” replied Bella with a smile.  He’d always been amiable towards her, despite his apparently fearsome temper, and he had shown up at the battle and helped defeat their foes, so she could forgive his annoying use of her nick-name.

 

“Gandalf was most worried about you after the fight.”

 

“Well, as you can see, I am in one piece,” she replied.

 

“Thank you for agreeing to provide horses for us, Master Beorn,” interrupted Gandalf. 

 

“Oh, it is nothing, Gandalf.  I will be pleased to hear what you have both been up to since I saw you last.  I’d also like to know how the dwarves fare.  When I left the mountain, Thorin had not yet awakened.”

 

Gandalf, sensing Bella didn’t want to talk about the Company answered.  “Yes, yes, I will tell you what I know, but first we must say farewell to our fine elven guides who have most ably led us through the forest.”

 

At that pronouncement, Gandalf and Bella said their final farewells to the elves, Bella giving Lindiriel one last hug.  With some sadness, she waved to goodbye to her friend as they returned to the forest for their trek back home.

 

Once alone, they mounted their ponies, Beorn practically lifting Bella onto hers with one huge hand.  He walked beside them as they rode, heading south towards his house.

 

Having been unconscious when he was in Erebor, Bella asked him to relate how it was he was there and what he did, which he was quite eager to recount.

 

For the next couple of hours, he related the tale of his journey to Erebor and how he arrived at the same time as the Eagles and proceeded to destroy as many orcs and goblins as he could.  He was quite cheerful as he described in ‘glorious’ detail his slaughter of the orcs.  Bella felt queasy at certain times by the graphic descriptions but didn’t interrupt and the time passed relatively quickly.

 

It took them three days to reach Beorn’s house.  Luckily, Beorn didn’t change shape in that time but, instead, stayed near their campfire with them and kept watch as he was accustomed to little sleep.

 

Finally, his compound came into view and Bella was looking forward to sleeping in relative comfort again, for a short while, anyway.

 

“Well, little bunny, here we are.  Home sweet home.  I trust you will enjoy your stay here and eat to your heart’s content.  I don’t usually like visitors, but you I am fond of, and gladly welcome you any time you wish to visit me.”

 

“Thank you Beorn.  I am most honoured,” replied Bella, cognizant of the honour the skin-changer had bestowed upon her.  “I look forward to this visit.”

 

With that, he led them through the gate and to his home, playing the gracious host.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Physically, Thorin was now fully recovered from the injuries he sustained in the Battle of the Five Armies, as it was now being dubbed.  If he still had the occasional headache, it was a small price to pay for having survived.  He had now assumed the full role as King, although he wouldn’t truly feel like a king until his people were home. 

 

His days were busy as he worked hard to get his mountain restored.  His Company were his most trusted advisors and he regularly sought input into the work being carried out.  Dain had returned to the Iron Hills but had left many of his men behind to assist in the rebuilding until the dwarves from Ered Luin arrived.

 

There was activity everywhere he looked.  Within the mountain, teams of workers were in the process of cleaning and repairing the multitude of halls and rooms.  In a mountain this size, it was no small job and would take months.  Dori had been picked to oversee the work and was proving to be an invaluable asset.

 

Bofur, with Bifur’s help, was overseeing the repairs and restorations of the mines and Gloin had control of the Treasury with Ori as his Record-keeper.  Bombur, not surprisingly, had taken over the restoration of the kitchens and had recruited staff to provide meals to the workers.  Oin, was appointed the Head Healer and with so much work going on everywhere, he was kept very busy as he treated injuries and illnesses and trained up others to assist. 

 

Dwalin had been appointed as Captain of the Guard, and while waiting for their kin to arrive, was inventorying and stockpiling the weapons found within the mountain.  Nori, with his talent for sneaking had been asked to assist Dwalin, probably because Thorin believed Dwalin could keep him in line.  When the mountain was back to normal, he would probably make Nori his Chief Spy, as it was necessary for a king to know what was happening within his kingdom.  He was already doing it, but on a much smaller scale.

 

Balin was, of course, his Chief Advisor.  There was no-one he trusted more, other than Dwalin and his nephews.  As his heir, Fili spent much time with Thorin as he worked and was becoming his main liaison with the men of Dale.  He seemed to get on with the humans and was able to attend meetings when Thorin was unavailable.  Likewise Kili, on a lesser scale as he was still recovering, was learning the running of the mountain.  For some reason, he seemed to have an affinity with the elves and so Thorin had asked him to assist him when dealing with the elves that were working to restore the forests and fields and be his liaison in that area.

 

Some days Thorin was on the go all day with barely enough time to eat, much less think, until he returned to his bed at night, completely exhausted.  Instead of getting a good night’s sleep though, his night was filled with dreams and nightmares and he spent a large part of the dark hours awake and thinking of Bella.

 

The effect on him was becoming evident to his friends.  His face was looking drawn and there were large bags under his eyes, which were dull and wearied.  Fili and Kili were worried but when they tried to talk to him, Thorin changed the subject or walked away.  Kili knew his uncle was suffering from missing Bella but after their talk, Thorin refused to speak of it again.  Regardless, he kept on trying to convince his uncle to go after her and dealing with his inevitable displays of temper when he did.

 

Thorin himself knew he wasn’t coping well but he felt it was his punishment for what he had done and so tried to ignore the comments and advice of his Company.  If he lost his temper with them, well, they should leave the subject well enough alone.

 

Other than his personal life, the repair and restoration of Erebor was proceeding well and he felt a sense of satisfaction at the evidence of the hard work being done.  Though still limited by numbers, dwarves were assisting in the rebuilding of Dale and, already, thousands of saplings had been planted by the elves, with many more still to be sown.  Fields had been cleared and crops planted and with the elves’ help; hopefully they would be ready for harvesting in a few months.  Life was still difficult, but there was a sense of hope in the air, which Thorin had not felt for nearly two hundred years.

 

He had just been conferring with dwarves and elves outside the mountain about the new crops being sown and was walking back towards the main gate when a voice called out to him.

 

“Sire!  Sire!”

 

Turning around, he saw a dwarf from the Iron Hills running towards him, his hand outstretched.  Instantly, the two dwarves who had been guarding him stepped forward in a protective stance.  Thorin didn’t see a need for a personal guard but Dwalin had insisted on it, saying that, now he was King, he had to put up with the trappings of his position, good and bad, and that having bodyguards was one of them.

 

The dwarf halted his progress in the face of the two menacing guards.  “Sire, I found something that I believe belongs to you.”

 

Curious, Thorin called off the guards and stepped towards the panting dwarf.  “What is it?”

 

“Sire, I have been working at the garbage pits and was clearing away ashes when I came across this hair bead.  When I examined it, I saw that it bore the mark of your family line and knew that it must belong to you or your kin.”  He held out his hand which held a silver bead that glinted in the afternoon sun.

 

Thorin looked at the bead and sucked in his breath.  It was the bead he had given to Bella, the bead that had fallen out of her hair when he had tried to kill her.  In all that had happened since then, he had forgotten about it.  It had been in the pocket of the coat he was wearing when he fought Azog and had been removed when his injuries were being treated.  It would have been in no condition to keep so most probably was taken away to be burnt but the bead had survived as the fires were not hot enough to melt down the silver.

 

Trying to keep his hand from trembling, Thorin reached out and took the bead, examining it quickly to assure himself that it actually was the bead and quickly pocketed it.  “Thank you for returning it, Master Dwarf.  I had quite forgotten it was missing.”

 

The dwarf inclined his head in acknowledgement of his King’s gratitude and returned to his duties.  His mind whirling, Thorin turned and strode back into the mountain, dismissing his guard as he returned to his bedchamber.

 

Locking the door, Thorin slumped down in the armchair near the fire that was kept blazing for him and took out the bead.  With a shuddering sigh, he gazed at it before bringing it to his lips as he remembered the circumstances in which he had given it to Bella.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

_It was the last night they were to spend in Lake Town before heading off to continue the final and most dangerous, leg of their journey.  Once they crossed the lake on the boats being loaned to them, they would make their way to the mountain in order to look for the hidden door and somehow defeat the dragon that had stolen their home._

_It would also mean that Bella was going to put herself in danger in order to fulfil her part of the contract.  Thorin’s heart clenched at the thought of his lover confronting the dragon alone and had tried to talk Bella out of it but she had argued that this is what she had signed up for and that she would not go back on her word.  She had then kissed him, trying to soothe his worry for her and as always, the touch of her lips caused the blaze of desire to burn hot again and for the next few hours, all thoughts of the dragon were pushed aside._

_Thorin smiled as he made his way to her bedchamber after instructing the Company to get a good night’s sleep, as who knew when they would get another one.  He had ignored their good natured catcalls as he left the room soon after Bella.  After their first night together, the Company had become aware of the nature of their new relationship and he and Bella were subject to their good-humoured teasing.  In truth, he was so happy and in love that he couldn’t be bothered scolding them, not even his nephews, who were inclined to make suggestive remarks when in their company.  He knew they were happy for him and Kili was already teasing Bella, calling her ‘Auntie’, copping laughing smacks to the back of his head from her._

_After a brief tap on the door, he entered the room, locking it behind him.  Bella was sitting at the dresser, brushing out her hair which had grown considerably since leaving Bag End.  She was wearing only a thin shift and he hungrily gazed at the womanly curves barely hidden by the material._

_How he loved her!  To him, she was perfection and he couldn’t imagine ever being with anyone else.  From the top of her honey blonde locks to the tips of her hairy feet, he loved every bit of her.  Her sass excited him, her compassion warmed him; her passion thrilled him, her intelligence and courage awed him and her love completed him.  From their difficult beginnings, caused mostly by him, he had to admit, they had come to find a love that was beyond any of his imaginings.  She was part of the very air he breathed and he had to have her by his side for the rest of their lives.  There might be some opposition by other dwarves at his taking a hobbit as his Queen but he had no power over who his heart chose as his ‘One’ as all dwarves knew, so any dissent would fade soon enough._

_Bella saw him watching her and smiled at him in the mirror.  Stepping forward, he stood behind her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her back into his chest as he bent down and kissed her cheek before moving to nibble on her sensitive earlobe.  Her soft moan of pleasure made him smile.  Letting it go, he looked at her in the mirror, his free hand gently stroking her cheek._

_“How are you feeling, my love?” he asked._

_“Nervous,” she admitted.  “And sad to leave our little haven.”  She reached up and pressed his hand to her cheek.  “This last week has been the best of my life and I will miss the peace but I know we have a job to do and I promised I will help you get your home back.”_

_“We will still be together, beloved, and I will do everything in my power to ensure you are safe.  I could not lose you now, my Bella.  Your love means everything to me.”_

_“I do love you, Thorin,” she replied wistfully._

_“As I love you,” he declared.  He straightened and looked at her seriously.  “Bella, may I braid your hair?”_

_The braiding of another’s hair was an extremely intimate act between dwarves.  It was only done between family members or between betrothed couples.  The braid signified the status of the relationship and was a statement to others of this.  Thorin had never braided another’s hair that was not his siblings’ or nephews’ but he knew this was right.  His whole being needed to show the world that Bella was his._

_Bella knew some of the significance of braids after having spent so much time with the dwarves and nodded her head.  With an intense look, Thorin took her hand and led her to the bed, sitting down behind her.  Without speaking, he proceeded to brush her hair before taking a lock of it and braiding it into an intricate pattern which he secured with a silver hair bead that bore the symbol of the line of Durin.  All male members of his family forged a bead in their early adulthood that was intended to be given to their betrothed if and when that event happened.  He had forged this bead in Ered Luin, after the first one he made was lost when Erebor was sacked, never expecting to actually use it._

_When he finished, he smoothed down Bella’s hair as she took hold of the braid and studied the symbols._

_“What does this mean?” she asked curiously._

_“It is the symbol of my family line.  I forged it in my youth and have waited all these years to give it to the woman I would have for my wife,” he replied solemnly.  Sure enough, Bella gave a small gasp and turned to face him._

_“Y…your wife?”  Her brown eyes were huge in her face._

_With a tender smile, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her softly.  “Yes, my wife.  Bella, I love you and I would be honoured if you would consent to be my wife once we reclaim the mountain.”_

_There was a sheen of tears in her eyes as she reached up and stroked his beard, sending a shaft of heat straight to his groin.  “But I’m a hobbit.  Don’t you have to marry a dwarf woman?”_

_“I admit it has not happened before, but you are my ‘One’ and I could never marry another.  My people will understand this and even if they don’t, it wouldn’t make any difference.  I only want you.”_

_A tear fell down her cheek, which he wiped away with his thumb.  “Marry me.”_

_“Are you sure?” she asked shakily._

_“Completely.  You are my other half.  I never believed I would find you and now that I have, I will never let you go.”_

_With a small cry of joy, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him fiercely for a few moments before pulling back and grinning at him.  “Yes!  Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.  YES!  I will marry you Thorin because I cannot imagine my life without you in it.”_

_With a bark of laughter, Thorin pulled her to him and hugged her tightly, elation running through his every pore.  “Mine.  My Bella.”_

_“Yes, yours.  And you’re mine.”_

_“Always, my beloved.  My treasure.  My heart.”_

_They kissed passionately, pouring all their love for each other into the act.  Within seconds, the heat between them rose and their hands began grasping and pulling at clothing, eager to have nothing but skin touching skin._

_Thorin nearly ripped her shift in his impatience and her hands were no less fervent in undoing the laces on his breeches and pushing them down his hips, his manhood springing out of its confinement.  His breath caught when she took him in her hand and began rubbing up and down, her thumb brushing over the head.  He withstood the exquisite torture for a few moments before pulling away, smiling at the pout on his beloved’s face._

_“I don’t want to spend in your hand, my love, and that’s what will happen if you continue,” he said as he placed open-mouthed kisses along her throat and collar bone._

_He kneaded her breasts before gently biting her nipple, eliciting a soft mewl of pleasure from her lips.  He loved her breasts.  They were so soft and large enough to fill his hands.  Since the first night they had made love, he had become obsessed with their lushness and could quite happily have spent hours worshipping them.  Bella enjoyed the attention, squirming beneath him as he lavished his devotion on her, her nails digging into his back._

_“Thorin!” she pleaded, needing more._

_Wanting nothing more than to please his lover, he kissed his way down her body, stopping at particularly sensitive spots to drive her closer to the edge.  Finally, he was between her thighs, breathing in the heady scent of her desire before diving in and tasting her, his tongue dancing across her sensitive flesh._

_Bella cried out as he drove her body to fever pitch, her hands unconsciously pulling on his hair as she writhed beneath him.  Thorin suckled on her nub, his fingers inside her, but did not let her reach her peak, instead pulling away when he felt her getting close.  Bella was whimpering, begging him to let her finish but he denied her._

_Instead, with one last flick of his tongue, he moved up her body so that he rubbed her with his aching member, covering himself in her moisture._

_“Please Thorin, I need you!”_

_Taking her mouth with his, Thorin surged inside her, both of them sighing loudly at the relief of finally being joined._

_“Oh Mahal!  You feel magnificent.  So tight around me,” he uttered hoarsely, trying not to spend himself straight away.  The lure of her willing body made it difficult to control himself, but he wanted to feel her reach her peak around him before he finished._

_“I love feeling you inside me,” Bella replied breathlessly.  “It’s perfect.”_

_“We’re perfect together,” he said before kissing her ardently as he pulled out and thrust back inside her, her slickness making the movement smooth and effortless._

_Bella’s legs wrapped around his hips and pulled him even further into her, drawing a strangled groan from him as he answered her unspoken wish and began thrusting into her body.  Harsh gasps and moans were all that were heard as they made love, their bodies, slick with sweat, sliding against each other and inflaming their nerve endings, making the sensations even more intense._

_Bella’s cries got progressively longer as her body reached for the ultimate pleasure that only Thorin could give her.  The sounds of her lust fuelled his and he sped up his movements so that the bed was literally rocking but neither noticed, so caught up in their love making were they._

_Thorin could feel his orgasm getting dangerously close but he needed her to finish with him, so he plucked one nipple between his fingers which was enough to send her over the edge.  With a loud moan, Bella stiffened beneath him as wave after wave of sensation washed over her.  The rhythmic clenching of her body on his aching erection tipped him over and with a guttural roar, Thorin poured his essence into her, his entire body shuddering in reaction._

_Finally, he collapsed on top of her, completely drained.  In the haze of post-coital numbness, he still managed to worry about crushing her with his weight and moved to roll off, but she gripped him even tighter._

_“No, stay,” she whispered, still breathless from their shattering love-making._

_“I don’t want to crush you,” he replied._

_“You won’t,” she reassured him.  “I just want to feel you for as long as possible as I don’t know when we’ll be able to be together like this again.”_

_Thorin completely understood her reasoning.  With Mahal’s blessing, they would soon reclaim his – their - home and he could be with her like this every night for the rest of their lives but first there was a dragon to kill._

_With a tender smile, he looked down at her beautiful face.  “I will stay as long as you want me to, my heart.  I love you and can’t wait to make you my wife.”_

_“And I can’t wait to make you my husband.  Promise you won’t ever leave me?”_

_He kissed her lovingly before he answered.  “I promise.”_

_* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *_

As Thorin came back to the present, he realised his face was wet with tears.  Tears that he couldn’t stop.  Before long, he was sobbing into his hands, his body shaking from emotion.

 

“I broke my promise, Bella,” he whispered brokenly.  “I broke my promise to you.”

 

When the storm of emotion finally passed, Thorin lay back against the armchair feeling drained and lifeless.  His eyes moved down to the silver bead that was still clenched in his fist and he realised he couldn’t carry on like this.  It was killing him.

 

Missing Bella was killing him.

 

He needed her like he needed air.  Without her, he was just a shell and he knew he could not be an effective king feeling the way he did.   Kili was right – he needed to bring her home.  Somehow, he had to win back her love and trust.

 

Leaving the mountain now would not be ideal but he would find a way around that.  Was he willing to give up the throne if that was what it took to get Bella back?

 

It took a surprisingly short amount of time to realise that the answer was ‘yes’.  Bella was more important to him than anything, even his kingdom.  She had been prepared to leave her home and live with him under the mountain so now he was prepared to leave the mountain he had yearned to reclaim for so long, in order to have her back in his arms.  She was his ‘One’ and life without her was simply intolerable. 

 

Feeling more at peace than he had since they entered mountain, Thorin drifted off into an exhausted sleep, a slight smile on his face.   


	11. Chapter 11

In the end, Bella and Gandalf spent five days as Beorn’s guests.  Food was plentiful and Beorn was good company and other than his warnings not to leave the house after dark, it was calm and peaceful.  Gandalf and Beorn spent hours talking about the happenings in Middle Earth whilst Bella wandered around the grounds, more often than not, followed by inquisitive animals who also happened to bring her food.  It was still slightly unnerving to see them walking on their hind legs but she was getting used to it. 

 

Gandalf had persuaded Beorn to accompany them over the MistyMountains, much to Bella’s relief.  The skin-changer had been hesitant at first, not keen on leaving his home and animals alone after having only returned from the Battle not long ago, but had finally agreed, saying he hadn’t been to Rivendell in an age and would enjoy visiting that fair place once again.

 

Bella had been greatly worried about travelling over the mountains again, even with Gandalf as her companion.  She wondered whether the creature, Gollum, as she had dubbed him, would sense his ring nearby and try to get it back.  The fury on his face when he discovered she had it was still fresh in her mind.  While she didn’t want to keep the ring for herself and would gladly return it to him, she didn’t believe that he would simply accept it and leave her be.  No, she feared his rage would incite him to kill her for daring to take his ‘precious’.  Now, with Beorn as their travelling companion, she felt much safer, not believing that the creature would dare take on the huge skin-changer.   Also, his presence would hopefully deter any goblins from trying to attack them.

 

When she had questioned if they were to take the same mountain pass that the Company had taken on the opposite journey and which had ended so disastrously, Gandalf had assured her that they would not.  They were to travel on the more commonly used pass that ran almost due east of Rivendell, much further south of the other path and a much easier route.  There had been trouble with goblins but the battle had decimated them and with both he and Beorn to keep watch, he didn’t predict any trouble. 

 

This information eased much of Bella’s worries about meeting Gollum.  It was much further south of the area she had encountered him and the likelihood of his finding her or sensing the ring’s presence seemed quite small. 

 

Bella now found herself wandering towards the stream that ran along one side of Beorn’s property.  In the distance she could hear the buzzing of the extraordinarily large bees that provided the honey for Beorn’s table.  It was really quite pretty here and it reminded her somewhat of the Shire, although it was not as green. 

 

Sitting on the bank of the stream, the water bubbling and swirling around small rocks, Bella thought of her home.  It had been so long since she had seen the verdant green grass and smelled the scent of the myriad flowers that grew in abundance, that she suddenly felt a longing to see her home, to return to her peaceful days and nights, reading her books with a cup of tea and a snack.

 

Or was it really to return to her lonely nights with no-one to talk to?

 

Would she even _be_ able to return to the life she once lived?  Gandalf had never spoken a truer word when he said that she would not be the same person she was when she ran out her door.  Most hobbits had no knowledge of, nor any interest in, the world that lay beyond their borders.  Bella had seen and experienced more during the quest than most hobbits would in their lifetime and she didn’t know if she could just accept the bucolic lifestyle they preferred, never being able to experience again the wider world, except through books.  But how could she do otherwise?  She certainly couldn’t travel on her own and Gandalf would leave once she got back to the Shire. 

 

Bella knew she would feel like a stranger in her own home.  There would be no-one who could, or would want to, understand what she had been through.  How long before the emotional isolation got to her?  How long before the desire to be in a land far away, so vastly different to the Shire, drove her to despair?

 

Sadly, the place she had always known as home, would no longer feel like that anymore and her true home now, where her heart and soul resided, was not a place where she would be welcomed.  In a sense, Bella was now homeless and the thought just added to her misery.

 

“There you are, little bunny,” boomed Beorn’s loud voice behind her.  “Thought maybe you had fallen down a rabbit hole.”

 

Surreptitiously wiping away a tear, Bella turned and gave him a mock frown.  “I’m not _that_ small, you know.”

 

“Compared to me, you are,” he replied with a grin.

 

“Compared to you, _everyone_ is small,” she retorted with a small smile.

 

Beorn folded his huge bulk and sat down next to her before throwing a small pebble into the water.  “Sure is quieter around here without the dwarves,” he commented.

 

He wasn’t wrong.  Their previous stay had been a brief respite after the horrors of the goblin caves and Azog’s attack and the dwarves had been in high spirits.  They had used the time to heal their battered bodies and prepare for the journey through Mirkwood. 

 

“It certainly is,” agreed Bella.

 

“And a lot less smelly,” he said, which did make her laugh.

 

“I’d like to see how nice you smell after fighting goblins, orcs and wargs,” she retorted.

 

“True.  Still, they were good company once I got used to having so many people around.”  He turned to look at her knowingly.  “I thought you would be staying on at the mountain, now that it’s been reclaimed?”

 

Bella tensed slightly, not wanting to discuss Thorin.  “I’m not a dwarf, you know.  It was never my intention to stay.  I fulfilled my part of the contract, helped the dwarves regain their home, and now I’m going home to the Shire.”

 

“I believed that the returned king would have wanted you to stay,” he replied with a small smirk.

 

“Why would you think that?  Thorin and I had only just become friends when we first met you.  Before that, he’d spent most of the journey either sniping at me or ignoring me in equal measure,” she said, hoping he’d change the subject.

 

“The looks he gave you when he thought you weren’t looking were certainly not those of someone who thought of you as just a friend.”

 

“You must be addled from all that honey and cream,” she retorted and he just laughed.

 

“Alright, little bunny, I can see you do not wish to discuss it, therefore I will change the subject.

 

“Thank you, Beorn,” she replied primly.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Bella noticed that her nightmares seemed to be getting less as time wore on.  She did still have them, waking up with her heart racing and sweat on her brow, but now the nature of her dreams were changing to more pleasant memories of Thorin.  Some nights her dreams were so explicit that she woke up aching for him, her body languid from dream-Thorin’s touch.  These dreams were even worse than the nightmares, leaving her missing him so much she didn’t know how she could bear it any longer. 

 

Other dreams had her smiling in her sleep, were there anyone around to see it…

 

_She was sitting beside the stream, the dappled sunlight through the trees providing enough light whilst shielding her from the heat of the noonday sun as she sat mending the tears in her coat.  She thanked providence for the forethought to include her sewing kit when packing her bag before leaving Bag End.  It had proved incredibly useful during the journey and she had already mended numerous articles of clothing belonging to the dwarves during the journey, although she drew the line at mending their smelly socks.  She’d rather face the Goblin King again.  Doing this for the dwarves had helped them accept her into the Company and had made her feel useful._

_After the ordeal with Azog and the goblins, few of the dwarves had escaped without any tears or rips in their clothing, so Bella had been busy but being out here in these peaceful surrounds, after the terror they’d been through, made the chore almost a pleasure and she was revelling in the sheer normality of it.  She would have to re-stock her threads when next she had the chance, though, as she was getting low and there was no telling what would befall them as they continued their journey towards the mountain._

_“Miss Baggins?”_

_Bella jumped at the sound of the deep, velvety voice of Thorin Oakenshield behind her, so concentrated on her task that she hadn’t heard him approach and nearly stabbed herself with the needle._

_“Must you sneak up on me like that?” she grumbled._

_“My apologies, Miss Baggins.  I didn’t mean to startle you though I made no effort to conceal my approach,” replied Thorin with a smirk.  “You were so lost to your chore, I could have been a dragon and you wouldn’t have heard me.”_

_Bella chuckled and nodded.  “I suppose so.  Anyway, why are you calling me ‘Miss Baggins’?  I thought we were friends now?”_

_Thorin nodded in acknowledgement.  “You are correct…Bella.  I admit I am still getting used to the change and I occasionally slip.”_

_“Me too, to be honest,” she replied with a smile.  “I am so used to you sniping and snarling at me, that when I see you smile at me, I feel like turning around to see who you are really smiling at.”_

_A deep, rumbling chuckle emerged from Thorin’s throat at that.  “I have apologised for how I treated you but I see I still have work to do to convince you of my sincerity.”_

_“And I have accepted your apology, Thorin, I really have,” she hastened to assure him.  “Anyway, sit down.  I’m getting a crick in my neck looking up at you.”_   
  


_Thorin lowered himself to the ground remarkably gracefully for one of his sturdy, solid build and turned to face her.  At the enquiry in her eyes, he explained why he was looking for her.  “I feel it is time you learned how to wield that sword of yours.”_

_Bella gaped at him.  “You want to teach me to fight?  I’d have no idea of what I’m doing.”_

_“Which is precisely why you need to learn. Bella. After the events on the mountain cliff when you…saved me, I think that you need to learn how to protect yourself, in case it becomes necessary in future and in the event that I…I cannot.”_

_As his voice trailed off, they sat and stared at each other and Bella couldn’t ignore the thrill of awareness that ran up her spine as she looked into the blue depth of his eyes.  Ever since the hug he had given her on the Carrock, her pulse raced every time he touched her, accidentally or otherwise.  She had been attracted to the surly but majestic dwarf since the night she met him but had repressed those thoughts when he had treated her cruelly, even if deep down she wished he would see her in a different light.  Even at his worst, he was incredibly handsome, with his long hair, close cropped beard, sensuous mouth and piercing blue eyes.  More than even his physical appearance was his sheer presence.  His persona was so compelling, it was impossible to ignore him, even if she wanted to.  Every inch of him proclaimed him as the king he was._

_After she had saved Thorin’s life, his whole attitude towards her had changed and it was disconcerting at times to have him smile at her as it quite took her breath away when he did.  Whatever thought was in her head, his smile would drive it into oblivion and she’d feel like a witless fool, not the smart, sensible hobbit she knew she was.  There was no denying that her attraction had now developed into a full-blown crush but there was no way she’d admit that to anyone, much less Thorin._

_On the walk to Beorn’s house, she had found herself more often than not walking alongside Thorin.  It had shocked her to have him speak to her in such a friendly manner and she had haltingly replied at first.  Gradually, she felt more at ease and was able to speak normally with him as they continued their journey.  To her surprise, he was very good company and was able to converse on a wide range of topics and the time seemed to fly, despite her weariness.  She had also noticed the speculative looks from the Company, particularly Fili and Kili who made kissing gestures at them when Thorin wasn’t looking.  When she caught them doing it, she gave them a glare that had them grinning at her in delight before she pointedly turned away from the immature idiots._

_At one point she had asked him outright if he considered them friends._

_“I…believe that I would be pleased to consider you a… friend,” he had replied carefully, as if unsure of her reaction._

_Bella couldn’t help beaming at him.  “Well then, my friend, I think that you should address me by my given name as all my other friends do.”_

_Thorin had given her a shy smile and nodded.  “Very well…Bella,” he said, and she felt a shiver at the sound of her name on his lips, the first time he had done so.  She felt the same reaction every time he called her name._

_Coming back to the present, she had to think hard about what they had been talking about before he looked at her._ This is getting ridiculous _, she thought as she shook off the effect he had on her and got back to the topic.  “Do you really think it’s necessary?”_

_Thorin too looked like he was trying to regather the threads of their conversation as it took him a moment to reply.  “Yes, Bella, I do.  You were lucky not to get badly hurt or killed up there on the mountain.  I do not expect that you will become an expert swordswoman but I believe that I can teach you some basic defensive moves that may save your life or at least buy you some time to allow help to arrive.”_

_“I see the sense of your reasoning, Thorin, but I am so small.  What could I possibly do in the event of an attack?” asked Bella._

_“You didn’t think about your size when you killed that orc that would take my life,” he pointed out.  “You acted on instinct that time.  Some training will hone those instincts.  It is not all about size, Bella.  In fact, your size could actually be an asset against a larger opponent as you will have a lightness and agility they won’t.”  He reached out and took her hand, which sent her heart into overdrive and she had to concentrate really hard to take in his words.  “I would wish that I and my Company would always be able to protect you, so that it is not necessary for you to learn to fight, but we cannot tell what the future holds in store for us.  I will rest much more easily knowing that you have some chance of protecting yourself in the event we cannot.”_

_Bella couldn’t doubt the sincerity in his face or voice and found herself nodding slowly.  She was his friend now, and friends looked out for each other, as he was trying to do now and she didn’t have the heart to argue against this.  “Very well, Thorin.  I will do as you request and attempt to learn how to use my sword if it will make you feel better.”_

_There was no disguising the relief on Thorin’s face at her agreement to his request.  He smiled brightly and squeezed her fingers gently.  “Excellent.  We will have our first training session after dinner tonight.”_

_“Will you be teaching me?”_

_He nodded.  “Yes I will, although I may have Dwalin or Balin train you as well.”  At her worried look he chuckled.  “You will be fine with Dwalin.  His bark is worse than his bite and he is an excellent trainer.  He trained me, you know.”_

_“If you say so,” she replied, not convinced, but she had agreed so she couldn’t back out now._

_True to his word, after eating her fill, they had made their way outside and Bella stood clutching her little sword nervously.  The fact that the rest of the company had accompanied them and stood around waiting for the ‘entertainment’ to start made it even worse.  Thorin must have sensed her discomfort for he ordered the rest to go find another source of amusement, to which they obeyed with reluctance._

_Thorin had stripped down to his tunic and breeches with his undershirt rolled up, revealing his strong forearms, lightly dusted with hair and Bella couldn’t help but admire the way his muscles rippled with his every movement.  He was mesmerising and she needed to force herself out of her Thorin-induced stupor a number of times that evening.  She was sure it made her seem even more incompetent with the sword than she already was but he was surprisingly patient, not a word she would have associated with the dwarf king before._

_That first training mainly consisted of Thorin showing her how to hold her sword properly as well as some basic stances and movements.  He impressed upon her that in a life or death situation she was to use any means to survive and that there were no rules when it came to staying alive._

_“I mean it, Bella.  You must not hesitate or it could cost your life.  The enemy will have no scruples and with you being a female, you know that could mean you are subjected to worse than just death.  Whatever you find at hand, even your own body, can be used as a weapon.  It may still not be enough, but at least you will go down fighting.”_

_Bella had nodded and tried to absorb all she had learned.  She was still useless with the sword but the training had already given her a sense of confidence she had not had before and maybe with his teachings, she may just be able to save her herself or even her dwarves._

_After that, Thorin insisted on training at least twice, sometimes three times, a day while they were at Beorn’s.  He was going to continue the training once they left, as the opportunity arose.  Both Balin and Dwalin also took turns teaching her.  Bella had literally been shaking when she first faced Dwalin and was aching all over after their session as he had been even more exacting than Thorin.  When he had praised her at the end and even gave her what passed for a smile, a rarity for Dwalin, she had felt elated and even more determined to learn as much as she could._

_It was the day before they were to leave for Mirkwood and Thorin was giving her one last training session.  He told her that he was going to act as if he were really attacking her and he wanted her to do whatever was necessary to defend herself, short of actually stabbing him, of course._

_“What if I hurt you by accident?” she asked nervously._

_“Getting hurt is a normal part of training,” he replied nonchalantly._

_“But you are still recovering from the wounds Azog gave you.”_

_“They are fine.  Come now, Bella.  Stop arguing and get prepared.  Remember, whatever it takes,” he reiterated._

_With a hesitant nod, she took up her stance and prepared for Thorin’s attack.  As promised, he gave no quarter and it wasn’t long before Bella was on the ground, rolling away from his blade.  Heeding his words, Bella knew she would never beat him with her sword so she decided to use her smarts.  She somehow managed to crawl between his legs before jumping to her feet behind him.  Her actions took him by surprise and he stood still for a moment which gave her enough time to grab his hair with both hands and yank hard.  At the same time, she used her tough foot to kick him behind the knee which caused him to go down on one.  With a final push, he fell forward, managing to turn and land on his side._

_Since she was holding on to him at the time, his fall caused her to go down with him and, with an ‘oomph’, she landed partly underneath him.  Thorin quickly rolled off her, which gave her the opportunity to throw herself onto his chest and yell “I win!”_

_The absolute shock on his face was one she would remember for the rest of her life and there was no way she could control the giggle that erupted from her throat.  The giggle turned into a full on laugh which had her laying her head on his chest as her body shook with mirth.  It didn’t take long before she felt Thorin’s chest shake with his own laughter and Mahal knew what anyone watching would have thought of the two of them roaring with laughter on the ground._

_As her laughter subsided she raised her head to look at Thorin and all humour fled as their gazes locked.  Their faces were so close she could feel his breath on her and it would only take a slight movement of her head to bring their lips together.  It seemed like an age, but in reality only a few heartbeats that they were frozen like this until some sense returned to her.  Bella could feel the fiery blush that accompanied her mortification at the thought that Thorin would discover her silly crush on him and it gave her the impetus to scramble off him, missing the look of disappointment that fleetingly crossed his face._

_Brushing herself off in order to avoid looking directly at him, she watched from the corner of her eye as he got to his feet and picked up her sword._

_“That was very well done, Miss Baggins,” he said as he handed it to her.  “I am glad you heeded my words.”_

_“You’re welcome, Thorin,” she replied with a shy smile, finally looking at him._

_“It would be very much appreciated if we kept this mishap between ourselves.  Dwalin would never let me live it down,” he said with a wry grin._

_“I wouldn’t call it a ‘mishap’.  I’d call it me winning fair and square, but far be it for me to deny a king his request.  This will be our little secret, your majesty,” she replied cheekily._

_Thorin nodded his head in mock solemnity.  “Thank you, my lady.  I am even further in your debt.”_

_To which they both burst out laughing and returned to the house, both feeling the bonds of friendship wind even tighter around them._

_* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *_

 

Once Thorin decided to go after his hobbit, he needed to make arrangements to leave the mountain in capable hands but he also wanted it kept quiet for as long as possible.  In fact, he only intended to tell a few people he was leaving so as not to arouse concern, Balin being one of them. 

 

While his heart felt lighter at the realisation that he was going to attempt to mend his relationship with Bella, he was also impatient to actually set off but he could not just sneak off in the middle of the night like a thief, however much he would have liked to.  The fact that he felt guilty about ‘abandoning’ his company and kingdom to chase his love made him angry but his desire to see Bella was his over-riding emotion and he was helpless against its pull.

 

The day after his decision, he called Fili and Balin to his chambers to inform them of his intentions.  When they arrived, they both looked puzzled as to why Thorin had called this unofficial conference.  Thorin bade them to sit and steeled himself for their reactions.

 

“Fili, Balin, thank you for coming so promptly.  I have something to impart that will change things dramatically and I will be wanting your support as my heir and my most trusted friend and advisor.”

 

Fili and Balin looked at each other in apprehension at whatever had Thorin so serious. 

 

“What is it, Uncle?” asked Fili worriedly.  “Are you ill again?”  That was the only thing he could think of.

 

Thorin shook his head.  “No Fili, I am well, be assured of that.  No, the truth is that, physically, I am well but the heartache of missing Bella, my ‘One’, has taken its toll on me.  I can no longer carry on as if all is well with me when inside I feel like an empty shell without her.  Therefore, I have decided that I am going to the Shire to beg her forgiveness and attempt to mend our relationship.”

 

“That’s wonderful, Uncle!” exclaimed Fili with excitement. 

 

“Well done, Thorin,” beamed Balin.  “It’s about time, if I may say so.”

 

Thorin lifted his hand to halt their enthusiastic outpourings of approval over his plans.  “Thank you for your support but I need to advise you of one possible outcome of this.”  At their enquiring looks, he continued.  “You both know that what I did was almost beyond forgiveness and that convincing Bella of my remorse may require that I make whatever sacrifice she demands.  Hobbits are not mountain dwelling creatures, yet she was prepared to live with me under the mountain as my queen, however much that would have gone against her instincts.  I feel that I can do no less than the same for her if that is what it takes to earn her trust and forgiveness.  To that end, I am prepared to abdicate my throne and live with her in the Shire, if that is what she wants and requires of me.”

 

After that statement, a pin could have been heard dropping as Fili and Balin looked at him in astonishment, their mouths hanging open like dead fish.  If the situation hadn’t been so serious, Thorin would have laughed at their expressions.

 

Balin was the first to shake himself of the stupor Thorin’s words had caused.  “Thorin!  You would give up Erebor?  After all we went through to get it back?”

 

Thorin nodded.  “Yes Balin, I would.  It is not that I _want_ to give up the throne and were Bella to forgive me and agree to come back, I would be the happiest dwarf alive, but I must be prepared for the other eventuality.  I hurt her so badly, Balin.  You know this.  We, I, owe her such a huge debt for her help and loyalty and my throne would be but a small price to pay.  I didn’t regain the mountain so that I could be King Under the Mountain.  I wanted it back for our people, so that they may have a home again and not be treated as interlopers and squatters by others.  We suffered for too many years at the hands of those who ‘allowed’ us to live on their lands and the exorbitant price we had to pay for their ‘generosity’.  I would rest easy with the fact that I would no longer be king at the knowledge that our people are safe now and where they rightfully belong.”

 

Fili sat quietly, his face pale as he mulled over Thorin’s words.  “What have you to say to this, Fili?  If I do not return, you will become King.  I am sorry to place this burden on your shoulders but I have faith that you would be a great king in your own right, despite your age.”

 

“I…I don’t think I’m…ready…to be king, Uncle,” admitted Fili. 

 

“You would not be alone, Fili,” Thorin tried to reassure him.  “You would have Balin to assist and guide you and you would have Kili to support you unconditionally.  Also, once Dis returns, she will also be there for you.  You have been preparing for this your whole life.”

 

“I know, but not so soon,” he replied.

 

“I would be behind you all the way, laddie,” said Balin with a reassuring smile.  “Anyway, it’s not as if it’s a definite thing.  We are talking as if Thorin has already resigned the throne when in fact, it is only one possibility, is that not right, Thorin?”

 

“You are correct, Balin,” agreed Thorin.  “Like I said, I do not want to give up Erebor but I must be prepared, as must you, that it could happen.”

 

“Who else have you told about this?” asked Balin.

 

“No one, you two are the first to know of my plans.”

 

“When are you going to announce your departure?” asked Balin.  “We will have to reassure our people and allies that work will continue as usual until you return.  It is not ideal that you leave so soon after regaining the mountain but it cannot be helped.  We dwarves know what it is to be without one’s soul mate and I doubt they will begrudge your decision to go.  I only hope that Miss Baggins does not insist that you stay in the Shire.”

 

“So do I, Balin, but if that is what must happen, then so be it.  I realise that there is so much to be done here but I cannot carry on as I am.  I have to go to her, Balin.  There is no other choice for me.” 

 

“I understand, uncle,” said Fili with a smile.  “In fact, I will go with you.”

 

“No, you will be needed here,” argued Thorin.  Fili was about to disagree but Thorin cut him off before he could get a word out.  “It is bad enough that I leave, but to have my heir go as well would not be wise.”

 

“It is only for a short while,” protested Fili.  “I’m sure Bella won’t want you to give up the crown and we would be back before too long.”

 

“I will be going alone and we don’t know what will happen.  No, you are staying and I will argue it no longer,” stated Thorin with a glare at his nephew.  “Balin, in answer to your question, I would prefer that as few people know I am leaving as possible therefore I do not want some large announcement to be made.   Once questions are asked, I would have the dwarrow believe I am on a diplomatic mission to secure possible trading partners.  If I do abdicate, then I will return and formally announce my decision and give my reasons before leaving for good.”

 

“Who are you going to take with you?” asked Balin.

 

“I plan on going alone,” replied Thorin. 

 

“You cannot go on your own!” exclaimed Balin.  “What if something happens?  How would we ever know what became of you?”

 

“I have travelled alone many times, Balin.  Why should now be any different?  In fact, it is probably the best time as so many of our foes have been destroyed.”

 

“You were not the re-established King then,” replied Balin with exasperation.  “You must take someone with you,” he insisted.

 

Thorin dug his heels in and refused, much to Balin’s consternation.  He looked at Fili and the unspoken message between them was that they would go against Thorin’s wishes if necessary but he would not be travelling alone.

 

Pretending to acquiesce to his Sire’s wishes, Balin asked when he planned to leave.

 

“I will be leaving in two days hence.  I have a meeting with Bard tomorrow, as you know, or I would go then.  I plan to inform him of my plans as I feel I can trust his discretion.  Bard is an honourable man, Fili, so I would urge you to forge your own personal relationship with him as it can only benefit our people,” advised Thorin. 

 

Fili only nodded, the disgruntlement clear in his eyes.  Thorin placed his hand on Fili’s shoulder and gave it an affectionate squeeze.  “I have faith in you, nephew.  I know you will perform the duties of king with honour and pride, as befits the House of Durin.”

 

“Thank you, uncle,” replied Fili quietly, his mind already whirling with his own plans, none of which would make Thorin pleased.

 

Balin and Fili left Thorin’s chambers and by unspoken agreement, made their way to Fili’s rooms.  Once the door shut, Fili threw himself onto his bed and let out a huge gush of air.  Balin sat down with a lot more decorum, nonetheless agreeing with the young prince’s unspoken thoughts.

 

“That stubborn fool,” muttered Balin.  “Thinking he can just travel through Middle Earth on his own, without so much as a single guard!”

 

“If he thinks he’s going to leave without me, he is more delusional than when he was under the effects of the gold-sickness!” exclaimed Fili.

 

The wise, old warrior and the young pup looked at each other and both knew what the other was thinking.

 

Thorin was going to find his hobbit love, but he was going to have company, whether he wished it or not. 

 

“I believe, laddie, that we must make some plans of our own,” said Balin with a wry smile.

 

“I believe you are right, Mister Balin,” agreed Fili with a grin.  “I think we are going on another adventure!”

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

It was just before dawn, and the air was crisp on this spring morning, the light frost visible on the young saplings that now covered much of the mountain’s slopes as the sky gradually lightened with the birth of a new day.

 

Thorin stood next to the pony, checking that all the straps were fastened securely.  The dark grey pony, Shadow, stood placidly as the dwarf’s saddle bags were carefully attached, along with an arsenal of weapons, including a couple of axes and a number of knives stowed throughout all the bags.  It would not do to put every weapon in one pack lest it be lost.  Even the smallest dwarfling would know that.  On his person, Thorin carried his dwarven bow, a number of smaller throwing knives in his boots and belt and of course, Orcrist.  Satisfied that all was ready, he prepared to mount and begin his journey to his beloved Bella.

 

“Are you certain it would not be wiser to have an escort?” asked Bard, standing alongside Thorin.

 

When Thorin had explained what he was planning to do, Bard had been surprisingly supportive and had offered to supply him with a pony and anything Thorin required.  He also reassured Thorin that he would support Fili in his new role and would help ensure that their restoration work would continue.  When Thorin asked why he was being so helpful, Bard had explained about his deceased wife.

 

“I lost my wife, Frida, when my youngest was only a babe,” he said sadly.  “I would do anything to have her back but I know that it will never be possible.  Your love yet lives and you are fortunate to have the opportunity to attempt to make things right between you.  I envy you for this, Thorin.  Do whatever it takes to get her back as you will never be whole again if you do not, as I am not whole.  To this end, I will assist you in any way possible as I would see one of us happy again.”

 

Thorin had thanked the King the Dale and hoped that one day he would find another love to ease the sadness that always lurked in his eyes, despite the obvious love and affection he held for his children.

 

Bard himself had brought Shadow to the pre-arranged spot outside the mountain and had helped Thorin stow his supplies and now prepared to bid farewell to the King Under the Mountain, whom he had formed a genuine liking for, despite their rocky beginnings.

 

“No, I will travel much faster alone,” replied Thorin.  “I will take the safest paths and I have my weapons.  I spent many years travelling alone whilst looking for work to feed my people so it holds no fears for me.”

 

“If that is your desire, then I wish you all the best, Thorin,” said Bard.  They clasped forearms warmly in farewell before Thorin mounted the pony.  “I will pray that the Valar keep you safe on your travels and that you return with your lady love as soon as possible.”

 

“Thank you, my friend,” said Thorin.  “I appreciate your support, in this, and in all our endeavours to restore our kingdoms.  I’ll admit I did not have a high opinion of men before, but you have proved that not all men are the same and that there are those, like yourself, who have honour.”

 

“I am honoured by your regard, Thorin.” Bard bowed his head in thanks.  “I would that our friendship continues for many years.”

 

Gathering the reins, Thorin lifted his hand in farewell and took a last look at his Mountain.  He knew he would return, one way or the other, but he still felt a pang at leaving his home again.  Then he thought of his Bella and any regret he had was suppressed by the need to be with her again.

 

“Farewell, my friend,” he said, nudging his pony into a walk.

 

“Farewell, Thorin.  Until we meet again,” replied Bard, hand raised in salute.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Unbeknownst to the dwarf king, there was much movement afoot once he told his nephew about leaving Erebor. 

 

Fili was adamant that he was going to accompany his uncle back to the Shire but he worried about the leadership that Thorin had entrusted to him.  Who would rule in Thorin’s stead if he followed his uncle?  The thought of becoming King was, frankly, terrifying but if Thorin abdicated, then he would take on the role and hope he would be as brave and honourable a leader as his uncle.   But not until he helped Thorin get Bella back.  Until then, Thorin was the King and, as his nephew, he felt he was bound by blood ties to follow and protect his uncle.

 

Balin was equally resolute that Thorin would not be travelling around Middle Earth on his own.  He certainly did not doubt that Thorin was as fierce a warrior as any he had known but, in an ambush, not even the best fighter would stand much of a chance.  Why did Thorin have to be so obdurate?   He wanted to get his beloved back but he was willing to risk his life in the process.  How could he reconcile with Bella if he was felled by an orc pack?  No, Thorin would have company, whether he wished it or not.

 

“Balin, I am going with Thorin, regardless of what he says, but what about the Kingdom?  I cannot leave it leaderless,” said Fili. 

 

“No, that would be disastrous.  Maybe Kili will be able to fill the role,” mused Balin doubtfully.  Kili was much too young and immature to rule Erebor and, as the second son, had not had the training his brother had had his whole life. 

 

Fili snorted at that suggestion.  “Really, Balin?  Kili would hate that and besides, once I tell him what I’m doing, there’s no way he won’t want to come too.”  Looking up at the ceiling, he thought about their options.  He could ask Dain to come back and act as Regent but he had reservations about such a move.  What if Dain became too used to being ‘King Under the Mountain’ and refused to step aside when Thorin came back?  He may be even more reluctant if it was Fili that he was relinquishing the throne to.  The dwarves could not afford to fight amongst themselves, not when they were re-establishing their kingdom.  No, Dain would not be the answer.

 

When he said as much to Balin, the wise old dwarf nodded in agreement.  “No, laddie, that would be a grave mistake, to be sure.  No, it must be someone who knows this is only temporary and that the rightful king, be it Thorin or yourself, will be returning and resuming his role.”

 

At the words, Fili looked at Balin and the solution came to him.  “Balin, I have the answer!”

 

“And what would that be?”

 

“You, of course!”

 

Balin reared back in shock at the suggestion.  “Me?  That’s preposterous.”

 

“Why?” asked Fili.  “You have nearly as much respect amongst our people as Thorin does and I don’t know anyone more loyal to him than you.  You were going to be my main advisor and I can tell you now, that you would probably have been the one doing all the work, while I claimed the credit as I would have relied on you so heavily.  The dwarves would accept your leadership in Thorin’s place until we returned and there would be minimal disruption.  You already get along with Bard and the elves so there would be no problem there.  You would essentially act as the Steward of Erebor in our absence.  You practically are already, even if Thorin hasn’t given you the title yet.  This is the perfect solution, Balin.  You must see that.”

 

The pleading in the young prince’s eyes was hard to ignore.  It was true that Balin knew as much about the running of Erebor as Thorin did, and was in fact, his second in command in many ways.  Thorin relied on his advice and counsel in his decision making, as he had for many decades.  It would be hard to argue with his experience as he was one of the few who were here when the dragon came.  Also, he felt he was too old to be traipsing around Middle Earth again.  The journey had been a long and difficult one, and he now wanted to stay put in one place until the end of his days. 

 

“Very well, laddie, I will do it.  I will look after this kingdom for Thorin and yourself to the best of my ability.”

 

Fili flung himself off the bed and hugged him.  “Thank you, Balin.  I can go with peace of mind knowing Erebor will be in safe hands.  Also, if Thorin doesn’t kill me for disobeying him, he too will be relieved that you are leading our people.”

 

There was much to prepare before Fili left, so Balin went to organise a pony and supplies for the prince while Fili went to talk to Kili.

 

Kili was exercising his arm, swinging his sword from side to side and to the casual observer, his arm seemed fully recovered from his wounds.  Only Kili felt the residual weakness and stiffness that had not been there before.  Still, compared to what it had been when he first woke after the battle, it was a vast improvement.  If he could get the strength and accuracy to wield his bow as well as he had, he would be satisfied.

 

“Kili!” called his brother as he strode into the room.

 

At the urgency in Fili’s voice, Kili put down the sword and turned to look at his sibling.  “What’s got your beard in a knot, brother?”

 

Fili got straight to the point.  “Thorin is leaving the mountain and going to the Shire.  He is determined to get Bella back.”

 

“Yes!” cried Kili, a wide smile splitting his face.  “About time, too.  He’s been pining away for her since he awoke.  How many times did I tell him to go and get her?  It must be hundreds by now.  When do we leave?” 

 

As expected, there was no doubt in his mind that he was going along with his uncle.  He’d missed Bella as much as he’d missed his mother and couldn’t wait to see her again.  Also, with Thorin’s temper, his uncle could probably do with some help in wooing his hobbit again.

 

“Well, that’s the thing, you see,” replied Fili.

 

“What?”

 

“Thorin insists that he’s going alone and he left me as Regent while he’s gone.”  At Kili’s sceptical look, he kept going.  “Also, he told us that if he has to, he will give up the throne and stay with Bella in the Shire.”

 

“No!”  gasped Kili.  “He would give up his kingdom?”  Fili nodded gravely.  “Wow, I don’t know what to say.  I wonder what it feels like to love someone that much.”

 

Fili shrugged.  “I don’t know but I hope to experience that one day.”

 

“I don’t know if that’s what I want.  It seems scary to me,” admitted Kili.  “You said Thorin wants to go alone?”

 

“Balin argued against it but Thorin wouldn’t be swayed.”

 

“You know there’s no way we’re not going, don’t you?” said Kili with a grin.

 

A grin that was eagerly returned.  “I do know that, little brother, even if uncle believes otherwise.”

 

“Who else knows?”

 

“Only you and Balin.  Which reminds me, I need to find him so that he can get you a pony too,” said Fili.

 

“Let’s go now,” said Kili.  “We can plan what we’re going to do on the way.”

 

The two princes left the bedroom in their search for Balin.  In their hurry, they almost mowed Ori down as he was on his way to fetch a snack from the kitchens.  When he asked what the hurry was, the brothers looked at each other.  As was usual, to those who knew them well, they seemed to know what the other was thinking.  Ori was a trusted member of the company so they didn’t see the need to withhold such important information from him and promptly told him all.

 

“Oh, I want to go too!  I would like to see the Shire again and I especially want to see Bella,” said Ori enthusiastically.

 

Fili saw Ori’s inclusion as another measure to keep Thorin safe, even if his weapon of choice was the slingshot.  Still, he was deadly with his accuracy.  The three young dwarves carried on their search for Balin and didn’t see the dwarf that was concealed in the shadows.  As their voices drifted off, he decided that someone else needed to know of their King’s plans.

 

They were close to the kitchens by now so it seemed a sensible idea to stop and get some lunch before resuming the search.  Bombur served them up a wonderful bowl of meat and vegetable soup and sat with them to catch up on their news.  He too was shocked at Thorin’s plan but could understand his reasoning.  He himself could hardly wait for his dear wife, Anala, and their children to arrive from the Blue Mountains.  He had missed them so and the thought of never seeing them again was too terrible to bear.  He sincerely hoped his king would be able to bring his beloved home.  As did all the company, he wanted to see Bella again.  She had some wonderful recipes from the Shire that he longed to learn and try out.

 

After eating, the three dwarves finally found Balin and told him about the need for more ponies and supplies. 

 

“Thorin is going to kill you when he sees you.  You do know that, don’t you?” asked Balin.

 

The three nodded but wouldn’t be swayed, much to Balin’s relief.  He had better get those extra supplies organised.

 

That night, Bombur was relaxing with Bofur and Bifur over a few pints of ale that had come from the slowly recovering city of Dale.  It wasn’t quite up to par with dwarven ale, but it would do for now.  After reminiscing about his Anala, he told his brother and cousin about Thorin leaving the mountain.

 

“Yer joking, aren’t you?” exclaimed Bofur.  Bombur just shook his head.  “He’s willing to give up the crown for love?  Well, that’s something you don’t hear every day.  And he’s going the day after tomorrow?”

 

“That’s what Fili said,” replied Bombur.

 

Bifur spoke up in ancient Khuzdul, the only language he used since getting the axe embedded in his head.  Bofur nodded as he listened to his cousin’s reasoning.

 

“Yer right, Bifur.  I do believe that it is our duty as members of the Company to accompany our King and give him whatever assistance we can.  He needs us to keep him safe, especially if his head is completely full of his lady love.”

 

“You plan on going?” asked Bombur.  “You’d better speak to Fili then as Thorin is quite certain that he will be travelling alone.   I don’t think he’ll greet you lot with open arms.”

 

Both Bifur and Bofur laughed at the thought.  “That’ll just add to the fun,” chuckled Bofur.  “He’ll be right cranky, but he’s been like that since he woke, so what’s new?”

 

Bifur then asked Bombur a question.  “No, Bifur, I don’t plan on going.  I want to be here when Anala and the children arrive.  I’ve already been away from them too long.  Besides, who would keep the kitchens running and the workers fed if I up and traipse away across Middle Earth again?”

 

“Aye, your family need you,” agreed Bofur.  “It will be good to see our Bella again, but you can do that when we return with her.”

 

“So you think she will come back?” asked Bombur.

 

“Aye, I do.  That girl loves Thorin, and no mistake about it.  He’ll have to do some mighty grovelling, to be sure, but I don’t believe she would ask him to give up his crown.  Not when she knows exactly what he went through to get it and his home back.”

 

Both Bifur and Bombur nodded their heads in agreement and the next few hours were spent reminiscing about the journey that had led them here.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

The same morning that Thorin set out for the Shire, another group of dwarves and ponies were preparing for their own journey on the other side of the mountain, well out of sight of their King. 

 

“Bard told me half an hour ago that Thorin left at first light, therefore you will need to wait at least three hours before setting out after him,” Balin had informed the five dwarves earlier this morning.  “Any sooner and you will catch up  with him too quickly and as well as ordering you back, which you will ignore anyway, he could turn back and decide to sneak out another time, this time not letting anyone know of his plans.”

 

“This way, he’ll be too far along on the journey to want to turn back and he’ll just have to agree to us coming along,” said Fili.

 

“If he doesn’t kill us first,” replied Bofur.  “That would guarantee he gets to travel alone.”

 

“Don’t worry, Bofur,” said Kili with a grin.  “There are too many of us.  We can take him, tie him up, gag him so we don’t have to listen to his ranting at us and lead him all the way to the Shire.”  The imagery had the other dwarves laughing.

 

“Good to see you can still dream, my boy,” muttered Balin sarcastically. 

 

Now, the sun had fully risen and the saddle bags had been loaded with supplies and weapons, the ponies waiting patiently to be mounted by their riders.

 

“It’s a good thing Bard is friends with Thorin now, isn’t it?” pointed out Ori.  “How else would we get the ponies so quickly?” he answered the other’s questioning glances.

 

“Aye, it was no easy thing to get so many ready with so little notice,” agreed Balin.  “Most of the ponies are being used to help with the heavy lifting work in the reconstruction of Dale, so Bard’s generosity is most appreciated.”

 

“He’s a good man,” said Fili.

 

“Aye, that he is.  He is sympathetic to Thorin’s need to get his love back, having lost his own wife a few years ago but he also didn’t agree with the idea of Thorin travelling alone, so when I explained why I needed the ponies, he was more than willing to help as well as keep the secret of Thorin’s travelling companions from him,” explained Balin.

 

“Luckily he also got the direction that Thorin was taking, so that we don’t have to waste time tracking down his movements,” said Fili.  “We should have no trouble catching up with him.”

 

“And you will have those hours to prepare yourselves for his angry tirade, especially you, Fili, when he discovers his orders were disobeyed,” mused Balin with a wry smile.

 

“No wonder you agreed to stay and watch over Erebor,” laughed Kili.  “You just wanted to avoid Thorin’s anger.”

 

“Well, you know the saying ‘older and wiser’?  I’d like to think it applies to myself.  Oh, he will be angry with me for going along with your plans but by the time he comes back, he will be over it.  I hope,” he muttered under his breath, much to the others’ amusement.

 

“When he comes back with his Bella, he’ll be in such a deliriously happy state of mind that we could probably shave his beard off and he’d only grin and say thank you,” laughed Bofur.

 

“Let’s hope so,” nodded Balin.  “Let’s hope so.”

 

And with last minute instructions and advice and Balin reassuring Fili that he would take care of the mountain in their absence, the party of five dwarves left Erebor once more to find their King.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

It had been over ten hours since he began his journey, and Thorin was enjoying the solitude, only stopping for infrequent breaks.  He was rarely left alone in Erebor, what with all that needed to be done and, when he was, he had brooded over Bella, giving him no real rest. 

 

Now that he had set out to finally to get her back, his mind and heart seemed more at ease and he was able to think about her without so much anguish.  Small snippets of memories were making him smile rather than frown in sadness as had been the case since he awoke from the battle.  Once he got closer to the Shire, he would be a lot more tense as the reality of finally seeing his beloved again and finding out her reaction to his return loomed, but for now, he wanted to enjoy the thoughts of her.

 

One of the first decisions he’d had to make when preparing to leave was the route to take.  He was loath to go through Mirkwood again, even though he knew Thranduil would readily give him passage now.  The memories of travelling through that dank and dismal forest were still raw and not even the prospect of elven aid could make the idea more enticing. 

 

Instead, he decided to skirt the forest, either to the north of it or down the eastern side.  If he travelled down the eastern side of the forest, he would then have to travel on the Old Forest Road that ran through it or else go all the way to the south of the forest and that alone was a huge disincentive.  It ran very close to the old fortress of Dol Goldur, which had been the very reason Gandalf had wanted to avoid it in the first place.  According to the wizard, the previously well-maintained road was now over-run and difficult, with trees completely covering the road in parts.  Also, if the giant spiders were so far north, it stood to reason that they would be even more prevalent to the south.

 

That left travelling west via the north of the forest the only option.  Before the battle, the area had been largely overrun by orcs and had been the reason why they had chosen to go through Mirkwood as the Company would not have stood a chance against so many.  Now though, most orcs had been decimated and the few that remained were now leaderless and it stood to reason that they had mostly retreated back to the Grey Mountains to the north.  If he stayed near to the edges of the forest, then it would be easier to hide from any stray orcs he might encounter as well as hopefully being able to find game to eat that wasn’t spoiled as those that lived farther south were.  Once he passed over the northern edges of the forest, he would turn south and head for the road that crossed the MistyMountains, an easier road than that which had lead them to the goblin caves previously.

 

It would make his journey considerably longer, although not as long as if he skirted the forest to the south, but he now had a pony for transport, which wasn’t the case on the way to Erebor, and that alone would make the journey easier.  It wasn’t as if he was on a time-table, seeing as Bella had no idea he was coming, so if the journey took an extra few weeks no-one would know other than himself. 

 

He was currently riding in a north-westerly direction, with the dark edges of the forest ahead and to the left of him giving him a point of reference.  The sun was getting low in the sky, the golden and pink hues telling him it would be a fine evening so he looked around for a suitable spot to make camp for the night. 

 

Not far ahead, he spotted a grove of trees that looked like they would make a reasonable camp as he guided Shadow in that direction.  He had plenty of water so finding a stream tonight wasn’t urgent and the trees would give him a measure of protection from wind and prying eyes.

 

The small hare he had caught was cooking nicely over the fire as the first stars of the night made an appearance.  Shadow was tied up and happily munching on some tufts of grass as Thorin sat back against a fallen log, smoking his pipe and staring into the fire.  It reminded him of a time long ago when he travelled from township to township looking for work as a blacksmith in order to help feed the refugees of Erebor.  A time when he was filled with anger, hate and a desperate longing to return to the LonelyMountain.

 

And he was prepared to give all that up for the love of a woman. 

 

Lost as he was in his memories, his finely-honed warrior skills still allowed him to detect the faint sound of movement coming from south of his camp.  Quickly snuffing out the fire, he grabbed Orcrist and moved behind one the larger trees, glad that the deepening night would help conceal the parts of him too large to hide.  He hoped that whoever it was would keep on travelling past him, but he would defend himself if necessary.

 

As the mystery traveller got closer, he was able to detect the sound of horses.  So there was more than one, he thought, suddenly wishing he had brought someone with him.  Never mind, he could take them if necessary.  Undecided on whether he should announce his presence and demand their intentions or use the element of surprise and attack first, he raised his sword in preparation.

 

The sound of a number of horses was nearly upon him when a familiar voice cut through the darkness and made him drop Orcrist in surprise.

 

“Thorin?  It’s me, Fili, along with Kili and others of our company.  Where are you?”

 

Fili?  Kili?

 

The shock of his nephews’ appearance rendered him immobile for a few seconds before reasoning and fury roused him to show himself.

 

“ _WHAT IN MAHAL’S NAME ARE YOU DOING HERE?_ ” roared Thorin as he emerged from behind the tree. 

 

The five riders all seemed to wince as one under the onslaught of Thorin’s fury. 

 

“Well…that is…we…I…” stammered Fili, looking at the others for assistance and seeing none.  The prospect of his uncle’s anger was much less fearsome than the reality.

 

“ _WELL?_ ”

 

“Um, you see…”

 

“We didn’t want you to travel alone, uncle,” cut in Kili, cringing when his uncle’s glare was directed at him.

 

“It’s much too dangerous,” agreed Bofur.  Bifur readily agreed, nodding his head vigorously.

 

“We have extra supplies with us to make the journey more comfortable,” said Fili, finding his voice again but still quaking inside, to his shame.  Though, in his defence, an angry Thorin _was_ quite terrifying.

 

“Mother would be furious if she found out we let you go on your own,” stated Kili.

 

“It’s a long journey, and you would get mighty lonely on your own,” pointed out Bofur. 

 

“We can help you come up with ways to woo Bella,” said Fili enthusiastically as he saw the anger slowly drain from his uncle’s face.

 

“We miss Bella too,” chimed in Ori for the first time before ducking his head to avoid his King’s eyes.

 

Thorin looked at his nephews and friends and it was hard to maintain his anger.  It was obvious that they cared about him even if they had disobeyed his orders.

 

“I should make you all turn around and head back to the mountain, even in the dark,” said Thorin sternly, trying to maintain the façade of anger.

 

“You wouldn’t, would you?” asked Kili nervously.

 

Thorin looked at his young nephew and had to stifle the smile that threatened at the look of terror on his face at the prospect.

 

“I should, but I won’t,” he admitted.  There was a communal sigh of relief from the dwarves at the words.  Thorin looked at Fili and most would have run from the stern stare.  “Fili, you have deliberately disobeyed me.  Firstly, my plans were not to be shared with anyone, even your brother, although I should have known that you can’t keep any secrets from each other.  Obviously, by the number of you here, that order was not heeded.  Secondly, I left you in charge of our kingdom.  I trusted you to rule in my stead and instead, you have abandoned your post to follow me.  Who is in charge now?”

 

Fili lowered his eyes in shame at Thorin’s words.  “Balin is acting as Steward in your absence, with Gloin assisting him.  He knows Erebor inside out and is the best person to hold everything together until we return.”

 

“So Balin was in on this too?  I should have known,” sighed Thorin.  That information eased his fears somewhat as he had every faith in Balin.  At least his heir had that much sense.

 

“I’m sorry Thorin,” said Fili remorsefully.  “I didn’t disobey you for my own sake, but because I truly believe you need me… us.”

 

Thorin looked at the dwarves thoughtfully.  He could turn back tomorrow and set out another day but his heart wasn’t prepared to wait any further to get to Bella.  Besides, they were so far from the mountain now that such a plan didn’t really seem feasible.  Also, if he had to admit it, the company of his friends and kin would make the journey less lonely. 

 

He heaved a deep sigh and looked at each one in turn.  “I am disappointed that my wishes were not heeded but I can see the reasoning behind your disobedience and I know that it was not done out of malice or spite but out of care for me.  Your plan worked, it seems, as it is much too late to turn back; therefore, it appears that I will now have company on my journey.  I suggest you all dismount and prepare yourself for the night.  I plan to leave at first light again tomorrow.”

 

Thorin turned around and walked back to the camp in order to get the fire started again.  He could almost feel the looks of relief that passed between the Company, even though he wasn’t facing them, and it brought a small smile to his face.  Not that he’d ever admit it to those miscreants.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all of you who have read, commented, bookmarked and given me kudos. It's been very much appreciated.
> 
> This will be last post for this year as it's summer - which means beach, beach and more beach with the family.
> 
> I want to wish you all a very safe and Merry Christmas - eat lots, enjoy family time and drive carefully. I also wish you all a prosperous and Happy New Year.


	13. Chapter 13

True to his word, Thorin roused every one up at the crack of dawn.  There were a few low moans about getting up so early, but none had the courage to say anything directly to Thorin, knowing they were still on shaky ground.  Instead, all the dwarves got up and in a very short time, were preparing to continue their journey.

 

The extra supplies that they had brought meant that they were able to get a hearty meal into them the previous night and Thorin, whilst having enjoyed the solitude before they arrived, couldn’t help feeling some pleasure from their joking around the campfire.  Ori, as usual, was writing down the day’s adventures into a new diary.

 

“Is it really necessary to document this journey?” asked Thorin.  “We are not on a quest now.”

 

“Aren’t we?” asked Fili. 

 

“Yes, aren’t we on a quest to get Bella back?” agreed Kili.

 

“I would hardly call that a quest,” replied Thorin.

 

“Some would say that this may be your most important quest yet,” remarked Bofur.  “For what is more important than getting the love of your life back?”

 

Bifur nodded and heartily agreed in Ancient Khuzdul.

 

“Maybe one day you and Bella can read this to your children so they know what lengths their father went to in order to get their mother back,” said Ori softly.

 

Thorin looked at the young scribe in surprise at his insightful remark.  His mind turned to thoughts of he and Bella, surrounded by their children as they all sat by the fire in their drawing room in Erebor, listening intently as Bella read Ori’s diary to them, bringing their love story to life with her wonderful voice, occasionally being interrupted by a child who asked a question.  Oh, what he wouldn’t give for that vision to come true. 

 

Rousing himself from his daydream, he smiled at Ori and nodded.  “Thank you, Ori.  I believe that would be a wonderful thing to have.”  Ori beamed at his king’s approval and continued writing.

 

Kili was now making sure their fire was completely extinguished while saddle bags were being checked.

 

“Let us get moving,” ordered Thorin as he mounted Shadow.  He hoped to get to the edge of the forest by the end of the day.  He would feel much safer with the cover of the forest nearby, rather than having to rely on the scattered copses of trees and rocks that the current landscape provided. 

 

They had not been riding for more than half an hour or so when they heard the sound of hooves in the distance. 

 

“Draw your weapons,” commanded Thorin as he drew Orcrist from its scabbard and turned to face the direction of the approaching stranger. 

 

The faint cloud of dust stirred by the horse got larger as it drew nearer.  Staring intently at the rider, Thorin had a suspicion that this was no stranger.  It soon became obvious that the animal was another pony, not a horse, and its rider was definitely no human.

 

“Who else did you tell about my journey?” snapped Thorin as he tried to make out the rider. 

 

“No one,” answered Fili as he too squinted to see who it was. 

 

“I told Bombur,” volunteered Bofur.  “Although it’s definitely not him.  He’s staying put to wait for his wife and children.  Maybe he told someone else.”

 

“So much for keeping secrets,” muttered Thorin, glaring at his nephew once again.

 

“Hold on,” said Kili.  “I think that’s…”

 

“Dwalin!” exclaimed Thorin.

 

The hulking figure of his Captain of the Guard became more obvious as he got closer.  He was spurring his pony on as fast as its legs could go and in seemingly no time at all, had caught up to the rest of the company.

 

Sheathing his sword, Thorin urged his pony towards his friend, a dark frown on his face, followed by the others.

 

Dwalin came to a shuddering stop as he neared his king, his pony blowing hard from the exertion.  “You led me a merry chase, but I finally caught up to you,” he growled, glaring at the other dwarves.

 

“Why are you here?” growled Thorin.  “I need you back in Erebor.”

 

“If you think I’m going to let you gallivant all over Middle Earth without my protection, you’ve got another touch of the gold-sickness coming on,” replied Dwalin.  He turned towards Fili and Kili.  “And you should have told me yourselves, instead of letting me find out second hand.”

 

“Who told you?” asked Fili.

 

“Nori.  He overheard you talking about Thorin’s plans with Ori and he came to me.  Figured he needed someone to watch over his baby brother,” replied Dwalin, chuckling at Ori’s angry blush.

 

“I don’t need a keeper,” mumbled Ori.

 

“Go back to Erebor, Dwalin,” ordered Thorin.  “Actually, take all of them back with you as well.”

 

The protests of the others were stopped as both Thorin and Dwalin glared at them.  When silence reigned again, Dwalin folded his arms and looked at Thorin with a gleam of challenge in his eye.  “Make me.”

 

Thorin knew he could take on most beings and have a fair amount of confidence that he could win.  Except for Dwalin.  Even he didn’t think he could beat Dwalin in a fair fight and he knew from decades of experience – if Dwalin didn’t want to do something, he didn’t do it.

 

Heaving a frustrated sigh, Thorin gave in less than gracefully.  “Fine!  You may come with us.”  He turned to his nephew and gave him a withering stare.  “If any more dwarves turn up on this journey, Fili, nephew or no, you will be sorry.”

 

With that, he turned Shadow around and urged him into a fast walk towards the forest, muttering under his breath.

 

Dwalin gave the others a grin filled with satisfaction at having gotten his way and proceeded to follow his friend.  Fili, face slightly pale at Thorin’s threat, asked him hurriedly, “Tell me no-one else is coming, Dwalin.  Please.”

 

Chuckling evilly, Dwalin looked at the young prince.  “You’d better hope, for your sake, that our company is now complete, young Fili.”

 

Fili just closed his eyes, sent a quick prayer to the Maker, and followed his now very grumpy uncle.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

The weather was ideal for travelling when Bella and her companions set off from Beorn’s house but now, after nearly a week on the road and coming to the foothills of the Misty Mountains, it had taken a decided turn for the worse, much to her dismay.

 

 _Why must it rain again?_ she wondered, as the first fat drops of rain fell on her face, the sky above dark with heavy, moisture-laden clouds that boded ill for all travellers in the area.  _Could I not have one mountain crossing without it pouring down?_

 

The bad weather brought back to mind the memory of clinging to whatever piece of rock she could find as the stone giants waged battle above their heads, the Company nothing more than specks of dirt on their huge bodies as they were flung around amid the pelting rain, lightning, thunder and the deafening roar of building sized boulders being hurled between the combatants.

 

Bella had been certain that that day would be her last on this earth and she could still recall the sheer and utter terror of having no control over her own fate.  Around her, the horror was clearly etched on the faces of her dwarves, even Thorin.  The sound of Thorin’s cry of complete despair when it seemed certain that Fili was dead, smashed into the rock face along with the others unfortunate enough to be on the giant’s knee when it stumbled, was something that Bella doubted she would ever forget. 

 

Despite their frosty and often times hostile relationship, Bella’s heart had broken for Thorin in that instant and she would have had trouble stopping herself from hugging him in order to provide some comfort, even as she grieved.  As it was, an instant was all she had as the rock below her gave way and she tumbled down, only just managing to grab on to the edge of the path before she fell to her doom. 

 

The memory of that moment was still vivid in her mind and she flexed her hands as she remembered the feel of the cold, wet rock digging into her palms as her feet flailed below her, trying and failing to find some sort of foothold.  She didn’t even have the wherewithal to cry out, her only focus being to not fall and die.  It seemed as if time stood still and she watched as one of her hands let go of the rock, despite her mind screaming at it to hold on.  When the other began slipping, Bella knew her time was up and closed her eyes, so as to not see anything on the way down to her death. 

 

The sensation of another hand closing over her wrist felt completely shocking to her, expecting the next thing she felt to be the jagged rocks on her skin, and she snapped her eyes open to see the straining face of little Ori as he held on to her for dear life.  She literally could only focus on his eyes, not even hearing him urging her to grab on with her other hand.  Instinct must have moved her arm for her because she was sure she didn’t consciously reach up; but it was in vain, as she just didn’t have the strength to reach Ori’s hand. 

 

Not wanting to drag him down with her, she was just about to let go, when a movement to the right distracted her and in the next instant, she was being pushed up by a hand on the back of her coat as several other hands reached down to pull her up at the same time. 

 

As she lay on the wet rock, gasping for breath, she was barely aware of the commotion behind her, not realising just then that Thorin had nearly fallen down the ravine in his efforts to help her, only Dwalin’s lightning reflexes saving him from certain death.

 

Sitting up with the help of Dori, she grasped the enormity of what had nearly happened as Thorin was hauled up, his sodden hair tangled around his face.  If Thorin had died, that would have been the end of the quest and of any hope for the dwarves to get their home back.  He had the key to the hidden door around his neck and it would have gone with him.

 

She watched dazedly as he got to his feet, angrily swiping the hair off his face.  Why would he risk everything, even his own life, to save her?  Did he not dislike her as much as she thought he did, regardless of his demeanour towards her?  Suddenly, despite her lingering terror, she felt a spark of hope within her heart.  Hope that there could be more than distrust and emnity between them.

 

As suddenly as that hope flared, it was cruelly extinguished when Thorin made a cutting remark in response to something Dwalin said.

 

“She’s been lost ever since she left home.  She should never have come.  She has no place amongst us,” he spat, glaring at her with what looked like pure hatred.

 

Bella could still feel the agony that had raced through her at his cruel words.  It felt like he had thrust his sword straight into her chest and it was only sheer self-preservation that stopped her from crying out in pain.  As it was, she could not stop a couple of tears escaping but they were camouflaged by the still-falling rain.

 

Sensing her distress, Kili and Bofur fussed over her, helping her adjust her backpack as Thorin ordered them to move on in order to find shelter.  A number of the company looked at her in sympathy as they moved to follow their leader, some throwing her little smiles and pats on the back as they passed her. 

 

“Are you alright, Bella?” asked Kili, face full of concern.

 

Her mind numb from the combination of terror and hurt she had just endured, she just nodded and wordlessly followed the dwarf in front of her, not even aware of which one it was.  All she could think of was putting one foot in front of the other. 

 

Gradually, the shock and hurt began wearing off and she became more aware of what was around her.  Dimly, she knew she wanted to thank Ori for not letting her fall and to check that Fili and the others were not injured.  Though she owed Thorin her thanks as well, she couldn’t bring herself to go near him.  She felt too fragile at the moment to survive another verbal attack from him.

 

It all just seemed too much.  To be cold and wet, narrowly avoid death and now to have it confirmed that she was not, and would never be, considered part of the Company.  Thorin didn’t want her here, hated her even, and it hurt. 

 

Why did that fact hurt so much?  Why was it that if it was Gloin or Dwalin who had made that remark, she would have just shrugged it off?  But it was Thorin who said it.  It was Thorin who wanted her gone.

 

As they settled down in the cave Dwalin had found, Bella kept to herself, ignoring the worried looks from some of the dwarves.  She had managed to speak to Ori, who had blushed sweetly at her thankful words and then sat down in a small crevice in the rock, refusing the dried meat Bombur offered her.

 

Every so often she looked at Thorin, who looked away every time their eyes met.  _He can’t even bear to look at me_ , she thought grimly.  His actions in the cave cemented the decision she had made as they looked for shelter.  It was time to leave and return home.  She was not wanted here, contract notwithstanding.  She was going back to Rivendell where she would get Lord Elrond’s help to return to the Shire.  She wasn’t even going to tell them she was going, she was just going to slip away when they were asleep.  That way she wouldn’t have to deal with Kili or Ori trying to change her mind.  And Thorin would be pleased, she was sure.

 

And she would have succeeded, despite Bofur’s attempts to get her to change her mind, if it hadn’t been for the fact that they were actually in a goblin trap.

 

 “Just ahead there is cave which should contain some supplies, if the goblins haven’t raided it yet,” growled Beorn, rousing Bella from her musings.

 

The rain had started to come down in earnest so the promise of somewhere dry to spend the night was a welcome thought.

 

“Why would there be supplies in a cave?” asked Bella curiously as she attempted to pull her cloak further over her face.  It proved futile as the cloak was getting steadily soaked anyway.

 

“The Rivendell elven scouts have always kept supplies in various caves throughout this road for their own use but which travellers are welcome to avail themselves of.  Although, with all the goblin troubles, I don’t know how well stocked they are,” replied Gandalf.

 

“Is the cave safe?” she asked warily.  “You’re sure it’s not another goblin trap?”

 

Gandalf shook his head and smiled at her.  “No, my dear.  This cave has been used by the elves for a long, long time.  It is quite safe.”

 

To their relief, there was still a supply of firewood stacked along one wall as well as a pile of blankets which was a very welcome find.

 

It wasn’t long before Bella was sitting beside a fire, wrapped up in one of the gossamer thin, but incredibly warm elven blankets, eating Beorn’s bread and honey.  Her cloak and outer clothes were spread over a rock to dry and it almost felt homely.  A far cry from that other cave.

 

And yet, despite the warmth and the pleasant company, Bella couldn’t help feeling uneasy.  The creature, Gollum, lived in these mountains, however far away.  She had not worn the ring on her for some time, preferring to leave it in her backpack and felt all the lighter for it but was still worried that he would somehow sense his ring nearby.  His ferocity and hatred when he had realised his ‘precious’ was gone was something she’d never forget.  And yet, when she’d had the chance to kill him, she couldn’t do it.  There was just something so pathetic and tragic about the dependence he placed on the magic ring.  She herself had felt the pull of the ring, despite her repulsion towards it, and felt a vague sense of empathy with the creature. 

 

Which was the main reason she didn’t want it kept on her person.  Keeping it off her lessened its pull.

 

What if she ‘accidentally’ left it in this cave or dropped it on their travels?  Then she would be rid of the thing.  Maybe she could dig a hole and bury it?  Or throw it into a chasm in the high passes?  Could she do it without Gandalf noticing?  She doubted it. 

 

The thought of being free of the ring was inviting but what if the creature found it again?  Would that be a bad thing?  It did belong to him in the first place, she reasoned. 

 

But what if someone else, with less innocent intentions, found it instead?  It seemed unlikely, but _she_ had found it, hadn’t she, despite the seemingly far-fetched odds.  If she had been taken with the dwarves to the Goblin king, then she would never have come across Gollum and his ring.  The fall down to the underground lake could have killed her; instead she landed on a patch of giant mushrooms.  The chances of her finding that ring was so slight as to be nearly impossible, but she had found it regardless, so what was to say that someone else, with equally unlikely odds, couldn’t as well?

 

No, she would need to keep it with her for the time being, as disturbing as that was.

 

And she still hadn’t told Gandalf about it.  Why, she didn’t really understand herself.  Maybe she was afraid he would take it from her.  As much as she loathed the ring, she wanted to deal with it on her terms, not have it forcibly taken from her.

 

What would Thorin have suggested she do with it? she wondered, before shaking her head.  No use speculating on that, despite knowing he had been wary of it as well. 

 

With determination, she turned her attention to her companions, listening to their chatter, the warmth of the fire gradually lulling her to sleep.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

_This time she knew that sound.  Warg!  Oh no, she had so hoped never to hear that dreaded howl again.  Hadn’t they been through enough already?  Somehow, they had all managed to escape the goblin tunnels and now this!_

_She was still reeling from her narrow escape from the creature she had encountered in that deep, underground lake and the discovery that the ring she found was magical, thus rendering her invisible.  The relief at hearing the dwarves’ voices was palpable and was about to announce her presence when she heard Thorin speaking._

_How dare he?  He knew nothing about what she had been through.  The disparaging remark he made about her having seen her chance to leave and taking it stung badly, although she should be used to it by now, after the incident on the mountain path.  Even more, it made her angry.  He knew nothing about her character, had not made the effort to get to know her and was now making assumptions about her motives._ He _was the one who said she didn’t belong, so what if she had done as he assumed and left?_

You _were_ going to leave _, a small voice echoed in her head which was impossible to refute, as it was the truth._

Well, it’s not now _, she thought._ He will not drive me away.  I’m better than that.  I signed a contract, and a Baggins always keeps her word _.  Bofur’s look when she had said they didn’t belong anywhere still haunted her.  She hadn’t meant to hurt him, it had just popped out unconsciously.  Well, she would help right that wrong._

_The look on Thorin’s face at her statement of intent to help them get their home back was a mixture of emotions she unfortunately had no time to savour.  The regret, shame and dawning respect were instantly replaced with anger and fear when the howl of the wargs rent the air._

_Now, they were running for their lives, a huge orc pack baying at their heels.  Her small legs were aching, as was the rest of her, but she put every ounce of determination into getting to the trees.  The growl next to her checked her stride and without thought, she struck out with her sword, impaling it in the warg.  Horrified at how close she had come to being its victim, she frantically struggled to get the sword out.  How hard had she struck, for Aule’s sake?_

_“Hurry, Bella!” yelled Gandalf, at the base of large fir tree situated near the edge of cliff._

_With one strong yank, she freed her sword and bolted down to the others.  A hand reached out and pulled her by the back of her coat up into the lowest branch of the tree.  She scrambled up as high as she could and watched in horror as the wargs descended on the trees, their combined efforts pushing down the other trees in which the dwarves were sheltering.  She could see her dwarves jumping from tree to tree until they were all on the only tree standing, which was right on the edge of the cliff.  She was too frightened to look down, but she knew it was a long way to fall.  There was no way she could help the scream when the wargs started pushing on their tree, the trunk groaning loudly as its roots were slowly pulled from the ground._

_Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a fiery object fly towards the wargs below, setting one on fire.  Looking up, she watched Fili and Kili light pinecones, obviously at Gandalf’s urging and then there were several falling onto the foul creatures, setting them and the surrounding greenery on fire.  The dwarves gave a cheer when it looked like the wargs were retreating but their delight was short-lived as the roots gave way and the tree listed towards the cliff._

_Bella’s heart was pounding furiously as she held on with all her strength, despairing when she heard the terrified cries of one of the dwarves as he fell.  The surrounding branches were too thick to see which one it was and she prayed he had managed to get a hold of something._

_The orcs were now converging upon them and from her position just above Thorin, she heard his gasp of disbelief as the most terrifying being she had ever seen appeared below them._

_“Azog!” gasped Thorin._

_Azog?  Wasn’t he supposed to be dead?  Apparently Thorin thought so too, his body tense with incredulity as he stared at his foe._

_Azog was a figure from a nightmare.  Huge and pale, with scars crisscrossing his body, his face radiated evil menace as he sat astride a huge, white warg.  He only had one hand, the other had a pronged, fork-like instrument jammed through his upper arm to keep it in place.  Bella watched as he gave a grotesque imitation of a smile when he caught sight of Thorin and wanted to block her ears when he spoke in his black speech, a sound that almost hurt to listen to._

_How were they going to get out of this?  The tree was listing even more, now practically parallel to the ground.  There were orcs in front and a huge drop below.  In that instant Bella knew which way she preferred to die, gathering her courage to let go when it was time._

_Then Thorin stood up!  What was he doing?_

_Before her, Thorin rose, Orcrist in his hand and with a cry, headed straight for the pale orc.  Horrified and stunned as she was at his actions, she had to admit that she had never seen a more majestic being in her life.  This was Thorin the King.  His whole bearing was a mixture of anger, hate and revenge, but also pride and bravery as he strode determinedly through the blazing forest to take on his greatest enemy, breaking into a run as he got closer._

_Bella was in awe.  He was totally and utterly beautiful in this very moment.  It was impossible to look away._

_When he was picked up by the white warg and slammed down into the ground, her heart stopped.  She watched as Thorin struggled to his feet, only to be seized again and flung onto a rock.  This time,Thorin stayed still._

NO!  No!  He can’t die! _she screamed to herself._ No!  He’s the King.  He’s not meant to die. 

_From somewhere behind her, she heard Dwalin cry out Thorin’s name as it became clear that Azog had given an orc the order to finish Thorin off._

_Without any conscious thought, just sheer panic at the idea of Thorin dying, Bella rose.  Clutching her little sword grimly in her hand, she ran faster than she’d ever run before.  Her field of vision seemed to narrow to only include Thorin and the orc who held his knife over Thorin’s throat, preparing to behead him._

NO!  You will not touch him _, she thought frantically._ I will kill you before I let you hurt Thorin _.  A feeling of indescribable rage filled her, hatred at the cruel being who dared to threaten her Thorin.  She didn’t even know if Thorin still lived, but nothing would stop her._

_With a bloodthirsty scream, Bella launched herself at the orc, just as his blade began its downward trajectory.  Her momentum flung him off Thorin and they both rolled off the rock onto the dirt below.  Acting on instinct, Bella raised her sword and impaled it in the foul creature, a sense of intense satisfaction rolling over her as she watched the black blood spurt out of its chest._

Yes, die you wretched, foul, evil piece of scum _, she thought with malicious glee._ You’ll never touch my Thorin again.

_The feeling lasted but a moment as the roar of fury from Azog penetrated her bloodlust.  Turning to look at Thorin, she couldn’t see any sign of life in him and any bravado she had disappeared as despair replaced it._

No, please, no!  Please don’t be dead, Thorin.  Please _!  Vaguely, she heard shouts around her as the dwarves joined in the fight against the orcs but she felt paralysed.  He couldn’t be dead.  He just couldn’t._

_All around her there was fighting, and she even heard her name called a number of times but all she could see was Thorin.  Bloodied, bruised and battered, his sword lying uselessly beside him, he looked dead._

_No! No! No! she cried.  NO!_

_* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *_

“NO!”

 

The gentle shaking of her shoulder eventually pulled her out of her nightmare.  Bella gasped as Gandalf’s gentle, blue eyes looked into hers with compassion.

 

“It’s alright, my dear,” he reassured softly.  “You are safe.”

 

Bella reached up and, feeling  her face drenched with tears, she rolled onto her side before curling up into a ball.

 

She couldn’t wait to get out of these wretched mountains, with their memories and fears. 

 

Still lost in the feelings caused by her nightmare, she didn’t notice the blanket being straightened over her or the looks of concern that passed between Gandalf and Beorn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again and Happy New Year to you all. Thank you so much to everyone who's left kudos and read my story. It's very much appreciated. 
> 
> How good was DoS! Saw it 3 times in one week and am suffering withdrawal symptoms :)


	14. Chapter 14

It had taken a good few hours before Thorin was able to speak normally with his companions and not bark at them in anger.  Fili and Kili, along with the others, except Dwalin, had the good sense to ride a little way back from their uncle and avoided speaking to him whilst he was in this mood, instead, talking quietly amongst themselves. 

 

“How long before he stops being so mad?” whispered Kili to his brother.

 

Fili just shrugged his shoulders.  “Who knows?  He seemed alright this morning and then Dwalin showed up.”

 

“That was scary,” agreed Kili.  “Still, uncle can’t remain angry at us for the whole journey, can he?”  The look on Fili’s face showed his belief that this occurrence could be a distinct possibility, knowing their uncle’s infamous temper.  “Nah!  He’ll get over it soon enough.”

 

“I hope so, Kili.  I really hope so.”

 

At the front of the group, in his customary position, rode Thorin.  Dwalin rode alongside  him and one could believe that they were on their journey to the Lonely Mountain if it weren’t for the direction they were travelling and the smaller number of the company.

 

“So, you finally got off your royal arse and decided to get our burglar back?” said Dwalin with a hint of a smirk as he looked at his friend and king.

 

Thorin simply grunted in response, still mad at Dwalin’s pig-headedness.  Damn him and his fighting abilities and the fact he was huge!  Thorin’s face was like a thunder-cloud and Dwalin liked nothing more than teasing his friend when they were alone, or relatively alone in this case, the others a little way behind, keeping a safe distance.

 

Dwalin’s smirk was turning into a grin.  Thorin hated being bested at anything, and having to back down and let him come must surely grate on his nerves.  He wondered how long it would be before Thorin spoke to him, deciding to speed matters along.   _This will be fun_ , he thought.  “Don’t know why you’re bothering, myself.”

 

No response other than a dark look.

 

“It’s not like she actually managed to sneak past him as we’d hoped.  Not much of a burglar after all.” 

 

The dark look got even darker.  Dwalin could see the small twitch in the corner of Thorin’s eye, a sure sign that his temper was rising.  This wouldn’t take long after all.  A few well-placed barbs and Thorin would not be able to help himself.

 

“No, I’m wrong about that.  She stole the Arkenstone, so she was a thief after all.”  Hands were clenching the reins tightly.  “Couldn’t trust someone like that, myself.”

 

If looks could kill, Dwalin would have been a lifeless body right now.   _Okay, time for the killer punch_ , he thought.

 

“Still, I can see the appeal.  She is a tasty little piece, after all.  Curves in all the right places.  Must have been a pretty good tumble to go to all this tro…”

 

Before he could finish the sentence, Orcrist’s tip was pressed into his throat, a ferocious snarl emerging from Thorin’s mouth.  “You dare?  If we didn’t have so much history together, I would slit your throat for speaking so disrespectfully of your future queen!  Mark my words, Dwalin, friend or no, if you ever utter such filth about the woman I love again, it will be your last.”

 

The two friends stared at each other for a few seconds, one black with fury, the other with wariness and a hint of shame.  Thorin slowly withdrew his sword, placing it back angrily into its sheath before taking the reins once more, spurring Shadow into a faster trot, eager to get some distance between himself and the rest of the dwarves. 

 

Dwalin turned back and saw the looks of astonishment on the others’ faces and felt ashamed of himself and his words.  He had gone too far; he knew it.  With a deep sigh, he moved to catch up with his friend.

 

“I am sorry, Thorin,” he said humbly.  “I did not mean the things I said.  I was just trying to get you to speak.”

 

Thorin turned to him, slightly calmer now.  “No-one speaks about Bella like that.  Not even me.  We owe more to her than we can truly comprehend and I will not tolerate anybody treating her with anything other than total respect, not even in jest.”

 

Dwalin nodded his head in acknowledgement.  “I apologise again.  It was ill-mannered of me to speak so of any woman, much less Bella.”  Thorin’s look told him his apology was accepted and he continued.  “I am truly glad that you are going to find her, Thorin.  I know how much she means to you.  I could always see it, even when you were trying to deny it to yourself.”    

 

“What do you mean?” asked Thorin, still trying to recover his equilibrium after threatening to kill his best friend.  The action had been instinctual.  One instant he was in a rage, the next, he had his sword to his friend’s throat.  If he needed proof of his love for Bella, it was right there.  He was willing to kill anybody, and he meant, anybody, who threatened her, even someone he thought of as a brother.

 

“Oh come now, Thorin,” replied Dwalin.  “I may be a hardened soldier, and freely admit that the ways of females are a puzzle to me most of the time, but I could tell that you were ensnared by her the instant you saw her.  It was as if you had just seen the most precious jewel ever and you instantly coveted it.  You hid it right quick, I’ll admit, and I doubt Bella herself saw, but I did.  I knew then that she would be your ‘one’, even if you didn’t.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” snorted Thorin disdainfully.  “We could barely stand each other for much of the time.”

 

“Only because you chose to be a complete orc’s backside to her,” chuckled Dwalin.  “I have never seen anybody fight themselves as much as I watched you fight your feelings for her.  It was almost a relief to have Azog attack you.  It knocked some sense into you.”

 

Thorin sniffed but didn’t deny the words.  “Yes, well, I had a mission to complete.  I needed to be focused on that.  For decades, I thought of nothing but getting our home back and I finally had that chance, small as it seemed then.   I could not be distracted by a woman or by her creamy skin; large, soulful eyes, plump lips or inviting bo….”  Thorin caught himself before he completed that sentence.  The laugh beside him told him Dwalin knew exactly where his thoughts were headed. 

 

“Anyway, I’m glad that you are going to her.  You’ve been much too miserable and surly.  And since that’s your normal state, it’s saying a lot,” grinned Dwalin, amused by Thorin’s look.

 

“Should have killed you when I had the chance,” muttered Thorin, trying, and failing, to ignore Dwalin’s amusement.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   

 

 _Where is that damned door?_ Blast that wizard _, thought Thorin as he yet again turned onto one of the myriad paths in this infernal place.  Would it be so hard to have some sort of sign or map so that unwary travellers could actually find their way around?_

_Gandalf had told him that there would be a mark on the door to indicate the home of the hobbit that he proposed should join the Company.  So far, he’d travelled over numerous paths in this veritable rabbit warren of a place and had yet to see a mark on any door.  It was dark now and the chances of spotting anything in the gloom were getting slimmer by the minute.  He thought about knocking on a random door and asking for directions but the reaction he’d received from the few hobbits he’d encountered dissuaded him.  He seemed to terrify them._

_As his mood got more grim with each footstep he took up yet another hill, he looked up and saw the faint glimmer of something on the round door at the top, overlooked by a large tree that dominated the skyline.  Getting closer, he saw the shape of a dwarven rune etched into the door which glowed bright blue._

_Finally!  Relieved to have finally found the place, he made his way towards it, drawn by its homely feel.  A small light outside the door, which he could see was a deep forest green, illuminated the small garden and stairs that led down to the gate which fronted the path.  Reaching the gate he looked out, impressed, despite himself, by the view of the surrounding countryside, shrouded in the comforting blanket of night, only the glow from the windows of the various homes dotted throughout giving any light.  He could see the lake and what looked like a larger dwelling on the other side, lights spilling from its many windows._ Most probably an inn of some sort _, he thought._

_From behind him, he could hear the faint echoes of voices singing, along with raucous laughter._ This is definitely the place _, he thought, knowing only dwarves could make that much noise, especially when together._

_Opening the gate, he stepped onto the property, assailed by the sweet scent of the blooms that covered most of the space, spilling onto the steps and over the door and roof of the home.  The house seemed to be built into the hill, something Thorin approved of even though it was very different to a home within a mountain.  Still, it was a very attractive place from the outside and it was obvious the owners were very house-proud: of their garden, at any rate._

_He wondered what this hobbit would be like and if Gandalf was not making a huge error in judgement by suggesting they include him in their plans.  Only the fact that Gandalf had been the one to stoke the fire within his heart, insisting that now was the right time to try to reclaim his homeland, whilst at the Prancing Pony Inn in Bree, did Thorin even contemplate going along with the wizard’s idea.  So far, his directions left a lot to be desired._

_Thorin only hoped the hobbit had a stout heart, courage and a useful weapon.  He would need it, especially if the dragon still lived._

_Knocking on the door, he couldn’t help but be amused by the immediate cessation of noise within the home.  Being intimidating had its advantages.  He was once again gazing out over the landscape when the round, green door was pulled open._

_“Gandalf.”  Thorin greeted the wizard, complaining about his poor directions as he stepped inside the home, pulling off his cloak as he did so.  The other dwarves were gathered around the door and in the entrance hall as he gave his nephews a smile of greeting._

_His first impression of the hobbit’s home was one of warmth, both from the fires in the hearths and by the amount of wood that was used throughout the dwelling.  He briefly noted that the roundness of the front door was repeated inside, with the walls and doors all following the same circular pattern.  It was so very different to the angular lines favoured by dwarves in their halls._

_His thoughts turned to the hobbit he was here to meet.  So far, he had not caught sight of him.  As he took a couple of steps forward, Gandalf moved to one side, revealing the person standing behind him._

_Thorin felt like he’d been punched in the gut.  There in front of him, stood the most exquisite creature he’d ever laid eyes on.  With one glance, he took in the golden, tawny hair, creamy skin and the perfect bow of her pink lips.  Her clothing only hinted at her figure but he could tell she was delightfully curved, her shirt amply highlighting her feminine attributes._

_What made him feel like he was standing on the edge of cliff, about to jump off, were the liquid depths of her chocolate brown eyes.  They were wide with surprise, the almond-shaped orbs thickly fringed by eyelashes that hinted at a sensuality within that was masked by the innocence that seemed to radiate from her._

_A slumbering beast within him that he didn’t even know existed, awoke with a roar that demanded he take her for his own, vanquishing any rival that even dared to think to challenge his claim to her._

_Never had he felt anything like this – the need to steal her away where he could make her his, over and over again, worshipping her body until they were too sated to continue, only to begin all over again.  The need to drape her in jewels and precious metals in order to highlight the beauty she possessed and to declare to the world that this woman was his, and his alone, for all eternity._

_He felt the tightening of arousal as he looked at her.  She was not even a dwarf.  How could he react so viscerally towards a female of another race, a hobbit?  Was she even free?  That thought caused the beast within to snarl with a possessiveness that threatened to dispose of any male who assumed any sort of claim on her._

_No, this cannot be!  He had a quest to fulfil; a mission that had come to him after the loss of his grandfather and father.  He could not afford this kind of distraction._

_Though he wanted her so very, very badly._

_It seemed as if his internal conflict had taken an age, but he became aware that mere seconds had passed since he beheld the hobbit and his equilibrium shaken to the core. Then common sense forced itself back into his consciousness.  Of course this is not the hobbit Gandalf was talking about.  The wizard would not suggest taking a female, of any race, on such a dangerous journey.  He would never see her again after they left and this madness would be but a brief flash of memory.  He tried to ignore the flare of pain in his chest that this thought caused._

_As he continued to look at the beautiful creature, a more familiar and comfortable feeling arose – anger.  Anger that one look from her could have him tied in knots and contemplating thoughts and actions that he had no right to have.  How dare she do this to him?  How dare she have any power over his thoughts?  It would not do.  The sooner they left, the better._

_“So, this is our burglar?” he forced himself to say, fully expecting denials from everyone as they corrected him before introducing the real hobbit that Gandalf had meant.  He paced around the hobbit as he spoke, asking her about her weapon of choice, both trying to intimidate her and see more of her, making his expression as inscrutable as possible._

_The truth resulted in a mix of emotions:  shock, denial, astonishment, confusion and joy.  No, this could not be.  No, there was no way she could become part of the Company.  What was Gandalf thinking?  A creature as delicate as this one could not survive in the wild.  It was madness to even contemplate it._

_And even in the midst of his denials, a voice within sang with glee at the thought of having her near.  To have the opportunity to speak with her, touch her, woo her._

_Anger flared again within him at the conflict of his thoughts.  She threatened to ruin all he had striven for, dreamed of, for so long.  There must be no room in his heart or mind for anything other than his quest._

_Why?  Why did I have to meet her?  Why did Gandalf have to choose this hobbit?  Was this some sort of joke from the gods?  Had he not suffered enough?_

_Rage and desire warred within him.  He had to let rage win, for his own sake._

_He fought Gandalf vigorously against having Bella Baggins as their burglar and it seemed as if she was just as strongly opposed to the idea.  He allowed himself one last lingering look at her before he pushed his desire for her into a vault in his mind, determined not to let it free again.  Rage and stubbornness  would be his vault-keepers, his mission would be the key._

_* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *_

It was a couple of weeks into their journey that they ran into the first signs of trouble. 

 

The Company had reached the forest within two days and were now making their way westwards along its northern border.  They had encountered a small party of elves who had rapidly recognised the King Under the Mountain and if they were surprised to see him there instead of being back in the mountain, their calm elven visages concealed their thoughts.

 

The forest here was not as dark and forbidding as it was further south and the dwarves had taken to making camp within the safety of the trees at night, making sure not to stray further into the forest than necessary.  None had any wish to repeat their previous experience with Mirkwood.  The game in the area, whilst not abundant, was good to eat and supplemented their food supplies.

 

Despite his initial anger, Thorin had to admit to himself that he was enjoying the dwarves’ company.  Whilst this journey was as important, if not more so to him, as their quest to reclaim their home, it did not have the same fears and doubts as before – at least not to the others.

 

Thorin himself, was terrified at the possibility of not regaining Bella’s love.  Yes, she was his ‘one’ but it didn’t work in reverse.  Hobbits did not have only one love in their life, she had explained to him.  She knew widows who had remarried and of betrothed couples that had severed their relationship, for whatever reason.  The hobbit ideal was to find a life-long partner but they were capable of loving more than once.

 

What if she fell in love with someone else?  

 

The beast within surged in fury at the mere thought.  Mahal help any male that dared to encroach on what was his! 

 

Then rational thought made itself known again.  Bella had admitted that she had never loved anyone before him, and she was no young girl, barely into her adulthood.  It seemed unlikely that she would find another in the short time since she’d left.

 

 _But she was a maid then_ , he thought grimly.  Now that she knew the pleasures of the flesh, would she feel the need to sate her desires with another?  You did not miss that which you did not know.  Thorin’s hands gripped the reins tightly, imagining them wrapped around the neck of Bella’s lover. 

 

No, he had to convince her that she did not need anyone but him.  He would give her everything she desired, and more.  He could do no less for his soul-mate. 

 

They were now relatively close to the Grey Mountains and the terrain was much more rocky and hilly.  The trees of the forest were more scattered and clumped in groups around boulders and ravines.  An ideal place to hide.

 

“Keep your eyes open for any movement,” warned Dwalin, scanning their surrounds intently.  “If there is to be any trouble from orcs, it will be here.”

 

“Do you think they may be orcs in the area, Dwalin?” asked Fili.

 

“We are close to the foothills of the Grey Mountains,” answered Thorin.  “Not all the orcs were destroyed so it stands to reason they may linger in these areas, hoping for prey to pass by.”

 

“Yes, always did like being compared to prey,” murmured Bofur sarcastically.

 

“They should be scattered and leaderless,” said Thorin, ignoring Bofur’s remark.  “Between us, we should be able to fend off any attack.  If there is a larger number than we can handle, we are to run into the forest.  At least there we shall have cover.”

 

Thorin would be glad once they were past this part of the journey.  It was certainly the most dangerous section and an attack could come from anywhere.  Also, the nature of the terrain meant they sometimes had to go hours of their way in order to skirt an impassable ravine or rocky hillocks.  If they didn’t have the ponies, they could have climbed over or gone through these, but they weren’t willing to part with them, not with such a long way to go.

 

A couple of nights later, they made camp on a slightly raised patch of grass with a group of boulders to one side which would allow the dwarf on watch to get a good view of the surrounding area.  There was a stream that trickled into the forest which would provide water for the ponies and themselves. 

 

They had settled themselves for the night, Bofur playing his flute whilst Fili & Kili sang some rather bawdy dwarven songs that had Dwalin chuckling.  Bifur was tapping along to the music while he carved a piece of bark he had found and Ori was drawing in his book, as usual.  Thorin leaned back against the rock, shaking his head and smiling at the lyrics his nephews sang, wondering how they even knew some of the songs.

 

They didn’t realise that the noise they made easily carried in the evening air and announced their presence to the desperate orcs that hid behind the rock formations, not too far away.

 

There were nine of them, a far cry from the legion that had marched on the mountain under the command of the pale orc.  These orcs hailed from the Grey Mountains and the promise of riches and a feast of dwarven flesh had proved too great a temptation.  With their crudely-hewn weapons and armour, they had met up with other orc tribes to form a huge contingent.  Of course, several orcs had ended up as meals for the others along the way.  When they had arrived at the mountain and seen the men and elves that stood alongside the dwarves, they were filled with malicious glee; man-flesh was even tastier and more tender than the tough dwarf flesh.  Elf-flesh was a delicacy as they were harder to kill and they fully intended to gather all the dead elves they could find after they defeated them in battle.

 

Against their expectations, the combined black armies were routed and most of their number were killed, leaving the survivors to scatter and flee, disorganised and without any leadership.  The remaining orcs were decimated even further as they turned on each other, the dead feeding the living, even if it was unsatisfying.  Not even orcs enjoyed eating orc-flesh.

 

The prospect of edible flesh had the group salivating in expectation. 

 

It was Ori’s turn to take first watch tonight and so far, it had been fairly quiet, only the rustling of small creatures disturbing the silence.  Fili had given him one of his knives, seeing as Ori still hadn’t procured one of his own yet, too busy with his scribe-work to bother.  Thank goodness neither of his brothers were here or they would have groused at him for being so careless and coming on this trip not properly armed.  The quest had changed him, given him a confidence in himself he did not possess before and, although he still preferred the pen to the sword, he was no longer afraid to fight if necessary.  He had survived the battle, after all.  Yet his brothers, particularly Dori, still saw him as their baby brother, unable to fend for himself.  This was why he had sworn Nori to secrecy about going with the princes.  If Dori knew, he would have tried to prevent him going, or worse, insisted on coming along as well.  Ori needed this time on his own and he was relishing every moment.

 

The orcs’ plan was to silently ambush the dwarves, taking out the one on watch first to prevent him alerting the others.  Unfortunately for them, but fortunately for the company, discipline was not an orc trait and, as the smell of the dwarf flesh got stronger, their hunger and desperation took over and any plan fell by the wayside.  One orc, in particular, sprinted ahead of the group, not taking care to avoid stepping on fallen branches, which, in the still night, rang out like hammers striking stone.

 

Ori,  whose head had begun to droop in weariness, snapped to attention at the sound coming from behind him and grabbed Fili’s knife just as the first orc lunged towards him from the side.

 

“ORC!” he cried as he rolled sideways, narrowly avoiding the crude blade that was aimed at his head.  With instincts honed from months on the road and all the trouble they had encountered, he swiped his knife upwards, slashing into the orc’s arm.  That caused the orc to falter and cry out in pain, giving Ori enough time to thrust the knife into the orc’s chest, satisfaction coursing through him as he heard the gurgle of blood pouring from the wound and the last twitches of life left the foul creature.

 

The snapping twigs and Ori’s cry had roused the rest of the company, warrior instincts coming to the fore as weapons were instantly raised.  Dwalin had Grasper and Keeper to hand in a flash, as the motley group of orcs descended on their camp.  He instantly sized them up as not much of a threat and he grinned as he gave his battle cry, beheading the first orc with one swipe of his axe.  It was almost too easy and he eagerly threw himself into the fight.  It was a good thing that peace had come to the mountain but he could not deny that he had missed a real fight to the death.  He had been a warrior too long, after all.

 

Bifur and Bofur had a little more trouble with their orcs, Bofur not quite ready as one particularly desperate orc swung his mace at him.  The blow got him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him and making him stumble to the ground.  He was trying to get his hammer up to defend himself from the next blow but was kicked in the leg and he fell onto his front, hammer in front of him.  He was expecting the next blow to finish him off when he heard Bifur yell out in Khuzdul and then the body of the orc was slamming on top of him.

 

“What is it with these damned things falling on me?” he grunted as he pushed himself up, the orc rolling off him.  “Thanks Bif,” he grinned as he threw himself back into the fracas.

 

Fili had two knives in his hands before the first orc fell but he looked worriedly at his brother.  He knew Kili’s arm did not have the strength it had before.  “Stay near me, Kili,” he whispered.

 

Kili growled in response.  “I’m fine, Fee.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yes, now just kill the orcs, will you?”  There was no more time for words as they clashed with three orcs.  Though they were a motley trio, hunger and desperation made them fierce fighters and the brothers had their hands full.

 

This was the first test of Kili’s arm since the battle and he would be lying if he wasn’t slightly worried that the residual weakness would prove his downfall.  It annoyed him that Fili felt he had to protect him even if he would do the same were their positions reversed.  Gritting his teeth, he struck out at the orcs, using two hands for added strength.  With Fili behind him, the orcs were pushed back, no real match for the two young dwarves, weakened by hunger as they were.  Fili stabbed one in the gut before swirling around and slashing the throat of the other one, nearly decapitating him.  He turned to help his brother but saw that Kili was holding his own, forcing the orc backwards until he tripped over a rock.  Kili laughed with delight as he brought his blade down with his weakened arm, killing the orc instantly.

 

“Well done, brother,” grinned Fili, pleased that Kili’s arm didn’t seem to have posed much trouble.

 

“Thanks.  That was fun,” laughed Kili, turning his head to see how many orcs were left.

 

It looked like his precautions were paying off, thought Thorin as he grabbed Orcrist, instantly going into warrior mode at the first sound of the orc raid.  His many years of experience confirmed his suspicions that any orcs that attacked them would be disparate groups, with no clear purpose other than to kill and eat.  These orcs were even more rag-tag than normal and he had no doubt that his company would easily dispose of them, even if they were outnumbered. 

 

As the first orc ran at him, his spiked club raised to strike, Thorin thought of Bella.  There was nothing that was going to prevent him from getting to her, certainly not this ragged bunch.  He would take on the long-gone Sauron himself, if necessary. 

 

With a strength born of determination, Orcrist’s blade was barely visible as Thorin swung it around like a dwarf possessed, instantly striking fear into the orc who realised, too late, exactly who he was taking on.  His head rolled right into the camp’s fire, unnoticed by Thorin as he continued on to the next one.

 

It seemed like only minutes before all was quiet, save for the heavy breathing of the dwarves as they squinted out into the night trying to ascertain if there were more orcs nearby.

 

“Is everyone alright?” asked Thorin, looking at his company.  It struck him then that if he had insisted on travelling alone, the outcome tonight may not have been in his favour.  Nine against one would have been long odds and he felt a wave of affection for his kin and friends.

 

There were rumblings of assent from the others as they began disposing of the bodies.  “Kili?  How does your arm fare?” he asked.

 

Kicking a head out into the darkness before answering, Kili turned towards his uncle with a wide smile on his face.  “It’s good, uncle.  I hardly noticed any weakness.  I think it’s almost back to normal.”

 

Thorin walked over to his nephews and wrapped an arm around their shoulders, hugging them briefly to him.  “I’m glad, Kili.  Very glad.”  Looking at Fili, he whispered, “Thank you.”

 

Fili looked at his uncle and gave him a smile of understanding.  “You’re welcome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks once again to all of you for reading and for the kudos I've received. It's greatly appreciated and I'm glad you are enjoying it.


	15. Chapter 15

The second time Bella caught her initial glimpse of Rivendell was no less awe-inspiring than the first.

The elven haven seemed to be bathed in a perpetual soft light that gave it a peaceful and welcoming ambience. Nestled amongst the towering cliffs with their numerous cascading waterfalls that fed into the rivers and streams which flowed through the settlement, it was still the most beautiful place Bella had ever seen.  
The Shire was beautiful as well, albeit in a different, more earthy way, and Erebor’s size boggled the imagination. What she had seen of Erebor gave her an idea of the magnificence that must have been the dwarven kingdom before the arrival of Smaug. She had never imagined that halls could be that big or pillars so high and she had felt a sense of trepidation at the thought of having to learn to find her away around such an enormous place.

Erebor, at the height of its glory, would have given Rivendell serious competition but since Bella never saw it like that, and never would, it could not compare with the elven settlement for sheer wonder and beauty.

“Well, my dear,” Gandalf’s voice intruded on her musings. “Is it still as impressive as the first time you saw it?”

Bella nodded. “Probably more so, Gandalf.” At the question in his eyes, she smiled a little wistfully. “I haven’t been nearly killed by trolls or chased endlessly by orcs and wargs. I can truly appreciate the beauty of the Hidden Valley.” She also didn’t have the snarling voice of Thorin remonstrating with the wizard for leading them here, either. She pushed that thought aside and proceeded to follow Gandalf down the winding path towards Lord Elrond’s dwelling.

The passage over the mountains had been fairly uneventful after the rain finally slowed, allowing the three travellers to leave the cave and continue their journey. Though the path was wider and not as steep as the one she had previously travelled, it was still a long road, and the ponies had needed rest after each ascent. In all, they had taken over a week to traverse the mountain range.

Only once were they troubled by goblins and that was when they were near the highest point of the road. Bella’s pony had started baulking and even though she was now much more experienced with horses, it had taken Gandalf seizing the reins to stop it from bolting. The poor creature began whinnying and its ears were flattened which made Gandalf’s horse start nervously.

“What is it, Gandalf?” she asked while trying to calm the pony by running her hands along its neck and making soothing sounds.

Beorn, who had been following behind, rushed past them, his nose in the air as he searched for the cause of the horses’ disquiet. He took a deep breath and then growled low in his throat as he turned to the others. “Goblins!”

Bella’s heart leapt into her throat at the word. She had been hoping they wouldn’t encounter any enemies, especially now when they were so close to Rivendell.

“Can you tell how many there are, Beorn?” asked Gandalf.

“Not many. Their stink is not as strong as it usually is when there are large packs of them,” the bear-man replied. He looked at Bella’s worried face and smiled. “Don’t worry, little bunny. I will take care of them.”

Looking at Gandalf, he continued. “You take Bunny back down the path and take shelter as best you can. I will dispose of the vermin and will find you when I am done.”

Gandalf nodded and pulled on Bella’s reins. “Come, my dear. Let’s do as Beorn says, and quickly. You know he has less control when in his bear form and it’s best we not be too close.”

Carefully, they managed to turn the horses, and headed back down the path where they took shelter within a large crevice in the rock face quite a distance from where they had first sensed trouble.

“Will we be safe?” asked Bella. “From Beorn, I mean?”

“I hope so. Perhaps, us spending so much time with him will aid him in controlling his actions whilst in bear-form. He’s such a solitary creature, and is not used to the scent of others. Our scents are now familiar to him and may stop him from attacking us if he gets too close,” replied Gandalf, doubt lacing his voice.

“Do you know this, or are you just speculating?”

“Nothing is ever certain and Beorn is more unpredictable than most.”

Bella sighed. “So, in other words, you have no idea what Beorn might do if he sees us whilst he’s a bear.”

“Unfortunately, no.”

As it turned out, Beorn managed to find and dispose of the small band of goblins he found. Some, faced with the huge, ferocious bear, turned tail and scarpered back into the mountain as fast as their mutated limbs allowed. The bear-man was well known and feared by the goblins of the Misty Mountains and did not willingly risk a fight with him.

Turning back into his human shape, Beorn made his way back down the path, calling for Gandalf. He broke out into a wide smile when he spotted his two companions emerging from a crevice.

“There you are!” he called out.

“Are…are the goblins gone, Beorn?” asked Bella warily, looking past him as if to try to spot any stray creatures.

“All gone, little bunny,” he replied with a chuckle. “It was almost too easy. I could have disposed of them in this shape and saved myself the bother of changing.”

“Well done, Beorn,” smiled Gandalf. “Let’s hope the knowledge of your presence will keep any others away.”

“Yes, that would be splendid,” agreed Bella as she prepared to get back on her pony.

As they descended into the valley, a sense of peace seemed to come over the trio and none said a word. It was almost as if they were entering a sacred place where words would sound too harsh and disturb the serenity of their surroundings. Gandalf guided them onto a stone path that led to a bridge which traversed the fast flowing river below it, the mist rising from it causing a myriad of rainbows to become visible.

This was a different bridge to the one the company had crossed on their previous visit and Bella had no idea where Gandalf was going, too busy craning her head in all directions as if to see everything at once. When she was here with the Company, they had only stayed a couple of days so she did not get to see everything there was to see, something she hoped to remedy.

Eventually they stepped onto a stone platform where they were met by tall, brunette elf who greeted Gandalf with a reverent bow and a warm smile.

“Welcome, Mithrandir. My Lord Elrond has asked me to escort you and your companions to your rooms to allow you to rest and refresh yourselves. He is currently in council but will send for you as soon as he is free.” He turned and smiled at Bella then looked up at Beorn, his smile faltering a little, unable to hide his surprise at the appearance of the skin-changer. With an aplomb Bella was envious of, his smile returned, masking the elf’s feelings.

“Thank you, Ranion,” replied Gandalf. “May I introduce you to my friends, Bella Baggins of the Shire and Beorn.”

Ranion took Bella’s hand and bowed over it. “Welcome Mistress Baggins. I was not in Rivendell when last you were here, so it is an honour to meet you.”

“Thank you,” smiled Bella. The Rivendell elves were so much more pleasant and courteous than their forest cousins, she thought. The elf let go of her hand and bowed to Beorn, who towered over even the tall elf.

“Master Beorn. You are most welcome.” Straightening, he held out his hand to indicate the way to their lodgings. “Come, I am sure you are desirous of some refreshments.”

“Thank you, Master Elf,” said Beorn. “If it is all the same to you, I would prefer to stay in the forest on the edge of your dwellings.”

Ranion looked a little discomfited by Beorn’s request but bowed his head in acquiescence. “I will speak with Lord Elrond with regards to making you as comfortable as possible. In the meantime, if you will please follow me.”

Bella was led to a lovely room with large, airy windows which gave her a view of the towering cliffs of the valley. She could see down to the roofs of other buildings and everywhere she looked, there were bodies of water – either flowing rivers or trickling streams that pooled into ponds.

Her room had a large bathing room next to it, and there were currently two elf maidens filling up the sunken bath with fragrant, warm water so that she could bathe. When it was full, they left, advising her that they would pick up any clothing she wished to have cleaned and that if she required anything, she only had to ask.  
A deep, bone-weary sigh left Bella’s lips as she sank into the soothing water. It had been so long since she had had the luxury of relaxing in a warm bath. She had bathed whilst in Thranduil’s halls but she had been too tense with memories to fully enjoy it, using it only as a way to get clean. Whilst at Beorn’s, she had bathed in the stream, which, whilst refreshing, was a little chilly and didn’t invite her to linger in the water.  Now, she allowed herself to fully relax as she had not done since Laketown. 

Whether it was the warmth, or something the elves had put in the water or simply the knowledge that she was completely safe for the first time since leaving the Shire, Bella allowed herself to temporarily shed all her cares, worries and heartache. She floated in the water, her mind still and calm. She didn’t think about anything – she was as a newborn babe for that blessed while.

When she finally emerged from the water, the aching weariness of her mind, body and heart became too much to fight. Wrapping herself in one of the linens left by the elves, she climbed into the large bed and lay herself down. The feathered softness enveloped itself around her like a cocoon and she drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Sunlight was shining brightly into the bedroom when Bella woke up. Disoriented at first, it took a few moments to figure out exactly where she was. Looking around, she noticed the pale furniture and the airiness of the room. The silken sheets she lay on caressed her body, which was now naked, as the linen she had wrapped herself in earlier had fallen off.

Stretching, Bella enjoyed the sensual feel of the silk on her skin and her thoughts automatically turned to Thorin. How wonderful it would feel to lie against his naked flesh, caressing every part of him she could reach. His warm, scarred skin would contrast delightfully with the coolness of the sheets and she almost purred in pleasure as she imagined his rough, calloused hands stroking her everywhere. They would lie in bed all day and sate themselves with each other.

The sound of someone walking past her door roused her from her daydream and she thudded back to reality. Thorin wasn’t here. He would never be here, or anywhere else with her again. And it still hurt, so badly.

Why do I do this to myself? she wondered bitterly, wiping away the stray tear that fell. It’s not doing me any good torturing myself with thoughts of him.

Trying to regain that sense of peace she felt before she fell asleep, Bella got up and slipped into her one dress that she’d saved from Laketown. Looking at it didn’t help her state of mind as it was one that Thorin had particularly admired on her but it was the only clean item of clothing she had. She would have to ask the elleth she’d met about having her other clothes cleaned.

Stepping outside the room, she both wondered what time it was and how to get to Elrond’s library. These rooms were not somewhere she had been the last time she was here so she was uncertain of the direction to take. Turning right, she decided to follow the hallways until she found someone and asked for help.

It wasn’t long before she encountered an elf and was mildly shocked to realise just how long she had slept. Her ‘nap’ had lasted nearly twenty-fours hours! No wonder she was famished. The elf offered to lead her to the library, politely chatting as they walked. Bella had to force herself to speak to him as she naturally wanted to take everything in as they walked, from the architecture to the art on the walls and in the courtyards they passed through. Presently, the elf indicated a set of double doors and excused himself with a small bow.

Before she could knock on the elaborately carved wooden doors, it was pulled open by Lindir.

“Mae govannen, Mistress Baggins,” he greeted with what looked like a genuine smile although Bella did notice he looked behind her, almost as if to reassure himself that there weren’t any of those trouble-making dwarves there. Likely, he was still traumatised by their last encounter. Bofur had told her about their naked antics in the fountain.

“Hello, Lindir,” she replied, trying not to laugh at him. “It’s lovely to see you again. And, please, call me Bella.”

“Thank you…Bella. It is good to see you too. My Lord Elrond is waiting for you in his study and I will send for some food for you.”

“Oh, thank you! I’m not ashamed to admit that I am absolutely starving,” she chuckled.

“Please, this way,” he indicated as he led her through the huge library into Elrond’s equally huge study. With a rap on the door, he opened it and ushered Bella through.

Elrond was at his desk writing when they arrived and he promptly put down his quill and stood to welcome his guest.

“Mistress Baggins,” he greeted with a wide smile as he bent down and took her hand in both of his. “I am very pleased to see you. I was most worried about you when you and the Company left and have been praying that the Valar would watch over you and keep you safe.”

“Thank you, my Lord,” she replied. “I am very happy to be back in your beautiful home. I am so sorry about the way we left before. I wished I had had a chance to thank you for your kindness and hospitality, but I was required to leave immediately by the Company.”

Elrond waved away her apology and led her out onto the balcony and urged her to sit. Lindir bowed and left the room, leaving them alone. Promptly, food arrived and he urged Bella to eat her fill.

“I hope you had enough rest, my dear. Gandalf was a little worried about you when night fell and you made no appearance. I sent someone to check on you and when I was told that you were in a deep sleep, I reassured him that sleep was the best thing for you. He told me a little of your adventures and I realise that you were very weary after everything you have been through.”

The kindness and understanding that shone from the elven lord’s eyes was her undoing. Without warning, she burst into tears. Even though she had cried on Gandalf’s shoulder during their journey, it was as if all her stress, worry, fears and heartache had been dammed up inside her. The tranquillity of this place, coupled with the sincerity of Lord Elrond’s care seemed to smash the barriers and she poured everything out onto his shoulder, metaphorically speaking, as their height difference meant she sobbed all over his chest.

Bella didn’t know how long she cried for but Elrond just held and soothed her like a father would. Eventually, the storm passed and she lifted her tear-stained, blotchy face, a white silken handkerchief pressed into her hands.

“I’m sorry, my lord,” she murmured, her throat raw from all the emotion, as she saw the large wet patch on his robe.

Elrond just smiled. “Be at ease, my dear. It is not the first time I have been cried all over and I doubt it will be the last.” He reached over and poured a glass of water, handing it to her.

“Thank you. I…I don’t know what came over me. Actually, I do, but I thought I had gotten over the worst of it by now.”

“The hurts in our hearts and souls can take a very long time to mend. Some never do. Do not be ashamed of your feelings, or your tears.”

Without even realising it, Bella found herself confiding in Elrond and telling him all that had happened after the Company left Rivendell. She left nothing out: the goblin caves, the fight with Azog, Mirkwood, Laketown, Smaug and the battle. She told him about her relationship with Thorin and how it had all ended.

Other than a gentle question here and there, Elrond let her speak without interruption. She told him about their betrothal and how much she had loved Thorin.  
“I still love him. So much. I thought that it would fade with time, but it hasn’t. If anything, I feel it even more. Do you know what was the worst part after I left?” Elrond shook his head in answer. “When I discovered that I hadn’t conceived his child. I didn’t even tell Gandalf how much that tore me apart. I wouldn’t even have that part of him to hold on to. Oh, I know it would have caused an outrage at home if I returned with a baby and that it is the best thing for all concerned, but my heart broke all over again. When we were together, I didn’t even really think about the consequences, which was really silly of me, but I was too wrapped up in being with Thorin and my only thought of the future was how we were going to get the mountain back and if the dragon was still there. It was only when my courses started that I realised how much having Thorin’s child meant to me.”

This time Elrond did speak. “There is nothing wrong in wanting to create new life with the one you love. To have something that is part of both of you, that will forever link you together. A child is a gift and is to be treasured as such. Perhaps it was not the right time for you but that is not to say it will never happen.”

“I don’t just want any child. I want Thorin’s child. I never really even gave motherhood a thought before. I didn’t feel any particular pangs to be a mother, like some females. I didn’t even really think about it when I was with Thorin. It was only when I knew it wasn’t to be that I desperately craved it. But it won’t happen now,” she concluded sadly.

“We do not know what the future holds, Bella,” said Elrond wisely. “None, not even the Lady Galadriel, can predict everything that will happen.”  
“I know. Thank you for listening to me. I feel a little better.”

“I am glad. Bella, last time you were here I extended an invitation to stay in Rivendell. That offer still holds. You are more than welcome to stay here for as long as you desire, if you do not wish to return home yet. Perhaps a stay here will help you find some measure of peace and acceptance. My library is extensive and you would be more than welcome to peruse it at your leisure. My daughter, Arwen, is due back from visiting her grandmother in Lothlorien in a few weeks and I know she would enjoy making your acquaintance.”

Bella looked at the sincerity in Lord Elrond’s face and smiled. “Thank you for your kind and generous offer. Although I have missed the Shire, I don’t feel ready to return just yet. I don’t know if I could face the endless questions and quizzical looks, the way my feelings are in turmoil right now. I gratefully accept your offer, Lord Elrond.”

“Wonderful, my dear. Please feel free to explore wherever you wish, but do not go beyond the boundaries without an escort as there are still servants of evil roaming in the wild.”

“Of course. Would…would it be possible maybe to learn some of your language while I’m here?” she asked.

“I’m sure you will pick it up in no time, but I will have someone tutor you if you wish. Now, I believe it is time for supper and I’m certain Gandalf will want to see that you are well with his own eyes,” he said, helping her to her feet.

“Yes. And Beorn, too. He’s a little rough around the edges but he is a good person.”

Elrond laughed in agreement. “That is true. It is good to see him again after such a long time.”

As they passed through the library, Bella suddenly remembered something. “Oh, Lord Elrond?”

“Yes?”

“Would it be possible to get a couple of changes of clothing? I have two sets of clothes, one I am wearing now, and I am heartily sick of them.”

“Of course, my dear. I will ask Lindir to take care of that at once,” he replied with a grin.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

After a week of rest, both Gandalf and Beorn took their leave of Rivendell and Lord Elrond.

“Farewell, little bunny,” boomed Beorn as Bella gave the giant man a hug. “I do hope we will meet again in the future.”

“Me too, Beorn. Maybe you can come visit me in the Shire?” she said cheekily.

Beorn just laughed. “Oh no, I do not think so! I would most likely terrorise the residents of your sleepy village.”

“Very likely,” she chuckled. “I will miss you, though. I don’t know how long I will be staying in Rivendell but I will be glad to see you if you come to visit again while I am here.”

“We will see,” nodded Beorn. With a wave at everyone, he turned and began his trip back towards the mountains.

Elrond took his leave of them and only Bella and Gandalf remained in the courtyard.

“Well, my dear. This is where we will part ways for a time,” said Gandalf.

“Where will you go from here?” asked Bella curiously.

“I will travel to Lothlorien as I must speak with the Lady Galadriel. From there, well, it depends on the outcome of these talks.”

“I would like to meet the Lady of the Golden Wood,” said Bella wistfully. “I hear she is wondrously fair.”

Gandalf nodded in agreement. “This is most certainly true. Possibly the most beautiful lady I have ever met. And she is as wise as she is beautiful. I do believe you will likely get to meet her during your stay as she does travel to Rivendell often to visit her kin here.”

“That would be lovely,” agreed Bella.

The conversation drifted off before Gandalf placed his hand on her shoulder. “I am most pleased that you will spend time here. If there is any place in Middle Earth that can help heal your wounds, Imladris is it. It will give you the time to think, reflect and hopefully find some peace in your heart.”

“I ho…hope so, Gandalf. I already feel a little more at peace.”

“That’s good. And you know that Lord Elrond means it when he says that you are welcome to stay for as long as you desire it?”

Bella nodded. “I know. He is possibly the kindest being I’ve ever met.”

“Well, he has been on this earth for a long time and has seen the best and worst of life. All that time gives a person a great deal of perspective. He himself has suffered his own heartache and can readily empathise with others who are in pain.”

“I suppose that was why he was not shocked when he learned of mine and Thorin’s relationship.”

“I would wager that Lord Elrond has seen fairly well everything during his lifetime. I do doubt he has seen a hobbit and dwarf together though, seeing as dwarves are a secretive, exclusive race but I am sure he would appreciate the novelty of it,” he said with a smile.

“Well, our relationship doesn’t exist any longer but I dare say you are right.”

“I must now take my leave, my dear,” said the wizard, preparing to depart. “When you are ready to continue your journey home, let Lord Elrond know and he will find a way to advise me. I will then come here as soon as I may to escort you home. If my travels find me nearby, I will be sure to come and see you.”

“Farewell, Gandalf,” she said, a little tearfully as she gave him a hug, which he returned with one arm. “Thank you, for everything.”

The wizard nodded sagely. “Farewell, my little Bella. Let the peace of this place soothe your hurts.”

With a nod, Bella stepped back and watched the grey wizard depart on another of his endless travels throughout Middle Earth.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As the days, weeks and then months went by, Bella became used to the peace and tranquillity of Rivendell. At the beginning of her stay, she had asked Lindir if there was a way to get a letter to Hobbiton. She had been gone so long and was sure her family thought her dead but she needed to let them know that she was safe and well. At Lindir’s reassurance, she wrote a lengthy letter to her cousin Drogo’s wife, Primula, whom she was quite close to, asking her to keep an eye out for Bag End and that she would return eventually.

Her elvish came on in leaps and bounds and she spent an inordinate amount of time in Elrond’s library. She was particularly drawn to his books on dwarven history and, despite herself, devoured everything she could find on dwarves. There were a number of books that were written in Khuzdul which she wished she could read but made do with the rest.

She also decided to start writing about her adventures with the Company. It was painful at first to write about Thorin, and she had no intention of including their personal relationship, but did find it cathartic in a way. Many an elf saw her wandering around Rivendell, looking for a secluded spot where she could write, surrounded by the beauty of the place.

A highlight of her stay was her meeting with Arwen, Lord Elrond’s daughter. When she caught her first glimpse of the elven princess, Bella was gobsmacked. All the elves she had met were beautiful and elegant but Arwen possessed a luminescence that set her apart. A light, as if from the stars themselves, seemed to shine from her eyes. When she later learned that she was call the “Evenstar” she was not surprised in the least. Bella felt positively frumpy when she was introduced to such a glorious being, but quickly learned that Arwen was as kind and gentle as her father.

In no time at all, they became fast friends and if anyone thought it slightly comical to see the tiny little hobbit in the company of the tall, elegant princess, no one said anything.

Bella felt so comfortable with her friend that she told Arwen of her relationship with Thorin and was surprised when Arwen said that she could deeply empathise as she was going through something similar, without the awful ending of Bella’s experience.

“My love, Estel, is not an elf, but a human man. One of the Dunedain, a descendent of Numenor,” explained Arwen with a wistful smile. “He was brought up here in Rivendell. My father fostered him when Estel and his mother came to live here and after she passed away. I had spent many years with my grandmother in Lothlorien and when I returned he had barely reached his manhood. We came across each other in the moonlight and I fell in love in that instant. He says he felt the same way when he saw me.”

“Where is he now?” asked Bella, fascinated. Here was another mixed-race relationship that must have its own difficulties, especially when one of them was immortal while the other wasn’t.

“He is a ranger of the north, along with others of his kin. He left to join them not long after we met.”

“Do you ever see him?”

“He does come as often as can but he is still learning the skills of a ranger, so many months often pass before we can meet.”

“And what of your father? Does he approve of your relationship?”

Arwen sighed before answering. “Ada doesn’t really approve but neither will he hinder us. He has said the decision is for me to make.”  
“Is that because he is not an elf?” asked Bella curiously.

“No, he is more concerned that I am immortal and Estel is not and Ada is frightened of my suffering the heartbreak of watching my beloved die of old age or illness. Both Ada’s grandfather and great-grandfather were human, so he knows of the consequences of an elf joining with a human. He knows that one day I will have to make the choice of leaving Middle Earth and returning to the Undying Lands or remaining here with Estel and giving up my immortality.”

“You can do that?” asked Bella in surprise.

“Yes. My great-great grandmother was Luthien, an elven princess who fell in love with Beren, a mortal man. She gave up her immortality in order that Beren might live. Ada knows that whatever decision I make, I will end up hurting someone I love.”

“I’m sorry,” Bella said, placing her hand on Arwen’s to give her comfort.

“It is difficult to love someone not of your own race, as we both know, but our hearts want what they want,” said Arwen.

“It would be so much easier if we could just pick a suitable person and tell our hearts to fall in love with them,” agreed Bella, thinking of her dwarf king.

“Yes it would, but I cannot bring myself to regret loving Estel. Do you regret loving your Thorin?” asked Arwen.

Bella thought about that question for a long time. Her time in Rivendell had given her much opportunity to reflect upon her time with Thorin and gain some perspective on events that had happened. She had gone over everything that had passed between them over and over again.

One thing she had contemplated, which she hadn’t properly at the time due the frantic nature of the events that had happened, was whether her relationship with Thorin would have been accepted by his people. He had assured her that there would be no issue with that but now she doubted that statement.  
Having read everything she could on dwarven history, she had not come across one single example of a dwarf marrying someone of another race. If there was, it was certainly not written about. As a hobbit, they were compatible height-wise but what about other ways?

Maybe they could not conceive a child together. How would his people react to the knowledge that Thorin’s wife could not give him an heir? That would surely be one of her principal roles as Queen, wouldn’t it? Would they demand that he give her up and take a dwarven wife instead? He had called her his ‘One’ and explained what that was, but as a hobbit, it was difficult to understand the concept that he could have no other wife. Especially if it interfered with his duty as King Under the Mountain.

What about their other differences? She was a creature that loved the sun and living things such as plants and flowers while he preferred to dwell inside the mountain; rocks, metal and gems being what dwarves loved. In the euphoria of regaining the mountain and her love for Thorin, she had not really considered what she would be giving up by remaining in Erebor. Would Thorin’s love be enough to stop her pining for the kind of life she had in Hobbiton?

And their temperaments. In some ways they were alike but they were so different in others. Bella was generally even tempered and genial. Oh, she had a temper and, when riled, even Dwalin got out of her way but that side did not emerge very often. She could be decidedly stubborn at times but could also see other points of view. Thorin, on the other hand, was generally moody and his temper was fearsome, as she had learned to her cost. Whilst she saw his sweet, romantic side, it was well-hidden from others except those closest to him. Would she have spent much of their lives coaxing him from his moods or trying to cool his temper before he said and did things he would later regret?

Then there was the fundamental question that she always asked herself, especially after touching the small scar on the back of her neck. Could she forgive Thorin for almost killing her? Could she look at him again and not remember the hatred in his face? Could she trust that the gold-sickness wouldn’t ensnare him in its grip again? Could she ever completely trust him again and not feel a frisson of fear when he lost his temper?

Would he ever truly forgive her for stealing the Arkenstone?

Bella thought about all these things often and her heart and mind swayed from one conclusion to the other, depending on the day and how much she was missing him. On the one hand, she believed that it was for the best that she had left as their differences and the obstacles they faced were too great to overcome. On the other, she felt that, as long as Thorin loved her, she would have fought tooth and nail to be with him.

Either way, neither option was possible as she would never see him again.

“No,” she answered Arwen after several moments. “I regret many things about my time with Thorin but I could never regret having loved him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks once again for all the kudos, comments, viewings and bookmarks. It is truly appreciated. 
> 
> I know many are anxious for Bella and Thorin to meet and it will happen soon - probably the chapter after next. Hopefully :)
> 
> I imagine Aragorn being around 27-28 years old at this point - still young for his kind but an adult nonetheless which is why he is still in training. For this story he would have been around 22-23 when they met. It's been a few years since I read LOTR and I'm going off the movie where he is around 88.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's arriving in Hobbiton?

Several months later, with a cool dusk approaching, seven weary travellers guided their equally weary ponies through the low cutting that acted as a gateway into the village of Hobbiton.

The westering sun gilded the fields and roofs of the multitude of hobbit-holes in a golden glow. The lake, with its stone, arched bridge was a pool of gold set amidst the green fields and pastures that were somewhat bare of flowers and crops, now that the winter was fast approaching. The farmers would have completed their harvest and food would be stored away in pantries to see the population through to the spring, when new crops would be sown.

None of the dwarves had really seen Hobbiton like this. It had been dark when they first knocked on Bella’s door and they had left at first light the next morning, too preoccupied with the journey ahead to take in the bucolic splendour of the place. Now, they could see the numerous front-doors, painted in many colours, but always round, that signified a family of hobbits lived there, the gentle trails of smoke emerging from the chimneys. Most, but not all, had a small, wooden front gate that guarded a small yard that was either meticulously neat or messily unkempt, with pots, implements and plants laying around.

“I didn’t realise how pretty Bella’s home actually was,” commented Ori, looking around the seemingly idyllic scenery.

“Nor did we,” replied Fili, with Kili nodding in agreement.

“Aye, and they have good food too,” said Dwalin.

“Poor Bella,” chuckled Bofur. “What frightful guests we turned out to be. I am still amazed she came with us after that display of our table manners.”

“Do you think she’ll be pleased to see us?” asked Ori, looking sideways at Thorin, whose face had that closed look he wore when he didn’t want others to see what he was feeling.

The many months on the road had seen him become more open and relaxed with his friends but he was still hard to read. Many times, Ori had caught a glimpse of the emotion on his face when it was obvious he was thinking of Bella and could see the longing and also the fear. Ori had made a number of sketches of his king during their travels but he was not game to show them to anyone yet. He had a feeling that Thorin would be horrified by how much the artist in Ori had seen and had portrayed on paper. He planned to give it to Bella at some point in time; hopefully as a wedding present.

Thorin’s heart was threatening to burst out of his chest with a mixture of fear, apprehension and anticipation. He could feel the sweat running down his neck into his tunic and it took all the willpower he possessed to school his face into showing none of his feelings to his companions.

Every step on the long journey had brought a mix of emotions. At times, the fear of Bella’s rejection had almost caused him to turn back before his stubbornness would kick into gear. He was a king, for Mahal’s sake. He had re-taken a mountain from a dragon, fought in numerous battles and he was restoring his people’s rightful home. Surely, he could convince one stubborn, angry, beautiful little hobbit lass of the sincerity of his remorse and the depth of the love he bore her. It was at these times that he would hold the silver betrothal bead and imagine the softness of Bella’s hair as he braided it again and it would give him courage. As they drew closer to their destination, these emotions grew stronger until Thorin felt like there was a constant battle going on inside him which resulted in him growing more and more irritable and surly as the days passed.

When he had lost his temper at Kili a few weeks ago over what he now saw as an inconsequential thing and certainly not worth the tongue-lashing his nephew had received, Dwalin had finally stepped in, drawn him aside and proceeded to give his king and friend the dressing down he’d needed.

“Do you think this kind of behaviour is going win over your lass?” Dwalin had spat. “It was this kind of temper that got you into this mess. Are you going to yell at her if she refuses your suit? How in Mahal’s name are you going to convince Bella that you won’t ever hurt her again if you fly into terrible rages because something doesn’t go your way or you can’t deal with what you are feeling?”

Thorin bowed his head in acknowledgement of Dwalin’s words. He did have a temper, which, during the years of exile had been used to fan the anger and hatred and determination to get his home back. This same temper had been magnified by the gold-sickness and had led to his abhorrent behaviour towards Bella. Yet, during the short time he and Bella had been a couple, her presence had mellowed this part of him and things that would have irritated him no end before, had not seemed worth getting angry over. He had still been grimly determined to reclaim the mountain but that desire had been channelled into action and not wasted on getting angry. He realised now it was because, despite all they still faced and the high probability of losing their lives, he had been happy. Bella had made him happy for the first time he could remember since before Erebor was lost.

He wanted to be happy again and acting like a churlish orc towards his family and friends was not the way to go about it.

Thorin had apologised to Kili and made a conscious decision not to allow his own feelings to affect his behaviour towards the others. Of course, he still lost his temper and was his usual irritable and surly self, particularly when his nephews acted childishly, but it was more measured and only when deserved. The knot in his stomach he kept to himself, even if he knew that Dwalin was aware of his feelings.

After their run-in with the orcs, they had encountered relatively little trouble. There had been a spell of bad weather which had made fording streams more perilous than usual and which had made travelling conditions particularly miserable. Game had not been too difficult to catch and the few farmhouses they encountered, which hadn’t been destroyed by the orc armies, had been prepared to sell some of their supplies after the occupants were convinced of the dwarves’ innocent intentions.

Dwalin had stressed the importance of not going anywhere near Beorn’s house and Thorin had agreed. They had no desire to encounter him in his bear shape and Thorin did not want to linger at his house. It was tiring, but he wanted to get to Hobbiton as soon as possible.

One night, they did set up camp at the base of the Carrock as the River Anduin flowed past it and they were able to catch fish for their dinner. From there it would it be a two to three day ride to the Old Ford where they could cross the river and head towards the Misty Mountains.

As the company all settled down to sleep, Thorin volunteered to take watch, his eyes looking up towards the top of the rocky monolith. A part of him wanted to climb up the steep steps in order to visit the place where he had finally surrendered, acknowledging to himself that fighting against his feelings for the hobbit was futile.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

_Pain. Pain and warmth._

  
_This is what Thorin could feel as he struggled to escape from the mists of unconsciousness. A warmth that was centred at his chest but spread to the rest of his body was accompanied by the vague whispers of a voice that was muttering something unintelligible above him. As the mists began to slowly dissolve, the pain flooded in. Everywhere hurt but,again, the epicentre was on his torso and he couldn’t understand why._

_Then he realised that the warmth was spreading and, where it touched, the pain receded. The whispers grew louder and, with what seemed an epic struggle, he broke through the haze and opened his eyes, a deep gasp leaving his mouth. Above him, the blue eyes of the wizard smiled down at him in relief, the wrinkled skin and long grey hair shaded by the enormous pointed hat he wore. Gandalf._

_Memories rushed at him as he lay on what he became aware of was something hard, like rock, and that it was now daylight. Images of the Company’s frantic run towards the trees to escape the wargs, trees on fire, Azog’s taunting and his own single-minded desire to extract revenge on the pale orc flooded his mind. How had he even survived that? He remembered being picked up in the jaws of the massive white warg and being flung down like a dead carcass, the pain spearing through him as he felt a couple of ribs crack on impact. He managed to get back up that time but not the next._

_The blackness was taking him fast and although he knew the orc above him was going to kill him, his body refused to move, his mind too blurred to do anything. He was going to the halls of his fathers and hoped that the Company would do what he couldn’t and take back their home._

_Closing his eyes as he awaited the final blow, he heard a small grunt and the weight of the orc disappeared. With a final effort, he forced his eyes open and saw the tiny body of the hobbit land on top of the orc, her little sword glowing bright blue in the darkness. Bella. Bella was fighting for him. Why? He had been so dreadful to her. Regret speared through him and that was the last he remembered until now._

_His heart raced at the memory. Where was she? Was she alright? Why would she do such a foolish thing? How could she even contemplate going up against an orc for his wretched sake? She had saved his life even after all the nasty words and appalling behaviour towards her. Had she died? Oh please, Mahal, please don’t let her have died saving my miserable, undeserving life._

_“The halfling?” he gasped hoarsely, his eyes frantically searching for her. Turning his head, he could see the members of his Company looking at him, relief in their eyes, but he could not see Bella. Where was she? Where was Bella?_

_“It’s alright. Bella is here. She is quite safe,” reassured Gandalf as Thorin struggled to sit up, relief flowing through him at the words. Then the anger came._

_How could she do such a stupid thing? He might have lost her – before he even had the chance to acknowledge to himself that she was important to him. More than important. Vital. Such a foolish, reckless, brave hobbit. But he was so angry at her for endangering herself like that._

_Helped to his feet by Dwalin and Kili, he shrugged them off and looked at her properly, his breath catching slightly at the confirmation that she was safe and uninjured. He took in her dirty, unkempt hair, the smudges of dirt on her face, a faint bruise becoming visible on her jaw and thought he’d never seen such a beautiful sight. She was alive! The vault he kept inside his heart that contained those feelings for her that he’d struggled so hard keep inside, was coming apart at the hinges, as if the strength of those emotions were trying to force them open._

_“You!” he glared at her. “What were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed!” Bella looked at him in dismay as he stepped closer. “Didn’t I say you would be a burden? That you would not survive in the wild? That you had no place amongst us?” He was now about a foot away from her and he saw the look of despair on her little face at his harsh words, her eyes looking down and filling with tears, unable to face him and all anger evaporated just like that._

_Unable to help himself, he took her in his arms and held her tightly. “I have never been so wrong in all of my life.” With that, the vault gave way and everything he’d tried to repress was set free. His initial attraction and desire had now deepened to something all-encompassing despite all his efforts over the last months. Now, he was ready to admit it to himself: she was his ‘One’ and there was no going back. The quest had allowed him to see the true value of his little hobbit and he wanted her forever. No other could have the wit, compassion, beauty and bravery of his Bella Baggins. He loved her._

_He held her for what seemed both an eternity and was not nearly long enough in his eyes. Thorin savoured the feel of her body pressed tightly to his and the beast inside began demanding that he make her truly his. Oh how he would love to give in to his desires! To hold her, kiss her, while he begged for her love and forgiveness._

_Thorin knew he could do none of these things. He had wronged her so badly and it was because he had been too afraid to admit that he needed her. He, who didn’t need anyone, had fought against it until he couldn’t fight any more. Now, he had much to atone for._

_An apology would be a start. Bella greatly deserved one._

_With all the humility he felt he looked into her brown eyes, wishing he could kiss her. “I am sorry I doubted you,” he said humbly._

_He could see the shock in her face. She probably believed that he had never apologised to anyone before and she would almost be right. Thorin could count on one hand how many people he had apologised to in his life._

_And sweet, sweet thing that she was, Bella accepted his apology with the grace and humour that he had not allowed himself to acknowledge before. Whilst she spoke, Thorin gazed at her with a smile on his face. How long had it been since he had really smiled?_

We’ll start with friendship, _he thought_. I must build her trust in me and we’ll start by becoming what we should have been from the beginning if not for my own pig-headedness: friends. Then, by Mahal’s grace, I will show her that she can entrust her heart to me, as I have already entrusted mine to her, though she does not know it. I will make her see that I will be everything she needs and that she is everything to me. That I would have her for my queen.

_The first sight of the Lonely Mountain, after so many long, long decades, at that point seemed as a good omen to Thorin and for the first time in longer than he could remember, he felt happy._

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Who do you think should be the one knocking on the door?” asked Bofur, his words slightly slurred as they made their way up the hill towards Bag End.

After arriving in Hobbiton, the company had decided to stop at the inn located on the far side of the lake. Thorin had been told about the dwarves’ goings-on in Bella’s pantry before he had arrived and felt it prudent that they get the worst of their hunger sated before invading her home again. He had enough to ask forgiveness for without having to apologise for their lack of table manners.

They had been given many wary looks by the local inhabitants and you could hear a pin drop when they had entered The Green Dragon. Every eye in the pub had turned towards the dwarves and Thorin remembered the hundreds of times he had experienced the same thing when looking for work during their exile. He had hated it then and he hated it now but there was no choice for him. Besides, unlike men, he knew that hobbits were generally peaceful people and unlikely to attempt to pick a fight with the dwarves, who were larger and much stronger. Bella had told him that very few outsiders ever entered Hobbiton except for traders, so the sudden appearance of seven dwarves would cause a stir.

Ignoring the looks, Thorin and the others sat down and a tiny, female hobbit nervously made her way to their table to take their orders. Once she left, the other patrons in the pub seemed to believe that they had been distracted from their ale long enough and the noise of various conversations began again. Thorin was certain their presence was the main topic.

During their stay in Laketown, between bouts of lovemaking, Bella and Thorin would lie together and Bella would chatter away, telling him about her family and friends, her life in Hobbiton and whatever else came into her head. She had told him that hobbits loved three things most: family, food and drink. As long as you didn’t interfere with these three things, then all would be well. They were wary of strangers, simply because every other race was so much bigger than them and the scarcity of any visitors. Once they saw that a visitor posed no threat, then they would be warmly welcomed.

Two of Bella’s teachings were certainly true: the food they were served was hearty and plentiful, his company digging in with absolute delight, and the ale was nearly as good as what the dwarves could make. It was definitely better than what was found in the villages of men.

As more ale was consumed, the spirits of the company, in particular his nephews and Bofur, rose, attracting the attention of other patrons and somehow, Bofur ended up on the table with a couple of hobbits singing their lungs out. Thorin just shook his head and was reminded of the dinner at Rivendell. He had taken great pleasure in watching the discomfiture of the very staid and proper elves at the antics of the company. Whilst relations with them were much better, he did still enjoy the thought of upsetting their very orderly lives.

The noise around him rose as the hobbits proved Bella right and were singing and drinking along with the dwarves, but Thorin sat back and became lost in his thoughts. Bella was so close. He looked out the large front windows and could see up the hill where her house was situated. What was he going to say first? Much of the journey had been spent mulling over his words to her when they met. Sometimes, he thought he should tell her he loved her and then other times, he believed he should apologise first. Or maybe both at the same time. Would he even be able to speak when he saw her? Thorin, King Under the Mountain had never been tongue-tied in his life but if it was going to happen, it would probably happen when he first saw Bella and the prospect terrified him.

The raucous laughter around him pulled his attention back to the pub and he decided it was time to get the dwarves out of here before they became too rowdy and drunk. That would be just what he needed: to have to beg Bella’s help in dealing with his drunk nephews and friends. She would be perfectly within her rights to slam the door in their faces – if she didn’t do that anyway.

Dragging his nephews away from the now overly-friendly hobbits was harder work than he thought and only a couple of cuffs on the back of their heads by Dwalin got them moving. Thorin had warned all of them that they were not to divulge their destination as he didn’t want any hobbits racing up to Bag End and warning Bella. He felt the element of surprise would work much more in his favour. They all denied that they had said anything and Thorin could do nothing but believe them.  
It was now dark and once again it painfully reminded Thorin of the first time he saw her and the immediate impact that beautiful, little hobbit had made on him.

“Well, certainly not you,” growled Dwalin. “You’re drunk.”

“Bella’s shee…seen me drunk before,” argued Bofur before letting out a large belch that had Thorin shaking his head. Why had he allowed them to come?

“We’ll knock. Bella lovesh ush,” declared Kili with a tipsy giggle which was echoed by Ori.

“Yeah, and we’re much prettier than you lot,” agreed Fili who then caught his uncle’s glare. “But…but not prettier than Th…Th…Thorin.”

“Mahal, help me,” muttered Thorin under his breath. That hobbit brew must be stronger than he thought. “I will knock and you fools will stay quiet behind me. In fact, you lot will stay with Dwalin until I call for you.”

“But I wanna see Bellaaaa,” whined Kili.

Another cuff across the back of his head from Dwalin was the answer. There was silence after that as they walked up the hill. Knowing their exact destination made things a lot easier this time. Thorin looked up and saw the light shining at the front door and the large tree silhouetted against the navy sky that indicated the location of Bella’s home.

His heart felt like it was going to explode out of his chest with every step. When they arrived at the gate, Thorin turned to his companions. “You all stay here. I don’t know what Bella’s reaction will be to my, our, arrival so wait until I call you.”

Taking a deep breath, he pushed the gate open and climbed the steps to the front door which had now been painted a rather garish yellow. He would not have thought Bella’s tastes would run to such an unappealing colour but it had been many months since he had seen her and all that they had been through, what he had put her through, may have changed her. It had changed him. He also vaguely noted that the flowers and shrubs in the small yard and around the stairs were now somewhat straggly and unkempt, quite unlike the well-tended plants he remembered. It gave him a sense of unease. Had he damaged and hurt her so badly that she had stopped caring about things that she had once taken pride in? He prayed not but if it was the case, he would spend the rest of his life doing whatever was needed to help her heal.

Steeling his courage, he raised his hand and knocked on the door. And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Brow furrowing, he knocked again, harder this time. It was surely too early for Bella to have retired for the night, wasn’t it? What if Bella had found out he was here was ignoring the knock? Well, he would knock until his knuckles were raw, if that was the case.

After his third bout of knocking, he heard a male voice yelling from inside and Thorin’s face immediately darkened, the beast within flaring to life with jealousy and anger. If this male had laid a finger on his Bella, it would be his last day to live. He was struggling now not to break down the door, kill this person and claim his hobbit.

He had just banged on the door with the palm of his hand, when it was opened and the male voice spoke angrily.

“What is going on? Who are you and what do you want at this inconvenient hour?”

Standing in the doorway was a hobbit dressed all in brown: brown pants, brown undershirt and brown robe. He looked to be about Bella’s age or slightly younger, with the dark brown, curly locks of his race. His brown eyes glared up at the stranger with a mixture of anger, annoyance and not a small trace of fear at being confronted by a tall, heavily armed dwarf.

Thorin wanted to kill him on the spot.

A dead body on her front doorstep would not endear him to Bella or help his cause, so he struggled to rein in his temper. “Who are you? Where is Mistress Baggins?” he spat.

“I am Otho Sackville-Baggins, and I live here, thank you very much!” retorted the hobbit.

Thorin’s hand instinctively went for his sword in order to strike him down but he managed to stop himself. Had Bella moved on already? Despair rose in him briefly before his anger reasserted itself. She was his and he would take her by force if need be. There was no way he would allow this creature in excrement-coloured clothing to have her.

“You do not live here. This is the home of Bella Baggins, and I want to see her!” thundered Thorin right in the usurper’s face.

“Who is it? Otho? Who’s at the door?” shrieked a high-pitched female voice from inside.

That was most certainly not Bella and Thorin stepped closer, forcing the hobbit backwards. As he stepped inside the door, a most hideous looking thing came trundling down the hallway.

“Otho? Otho? Who is that? What is a dwarf doing on our doorstep? Are we to be murdered in our homes?” The voice was painful to listen to and Thorin would have loved to cut her down just to silence that awful noise. The female hobbit was shorter and much wider than his Bella. She had a hard, joyless face with small squinty eyes and a thin-lipped mouth. Thorin could not make out the colour of her hair as it was covered in a scarf that only served to make her look more like a sewer rat than a hobbit. She glared up at Thorin, drawing herself up to her full height, which didn’t amount to much. “Get off my property!”

“ _Your_ property?” snarled Thorin. “This home belongs to Bella Baggins and I demand to see her!”

“This house does certainly not belong to that hussy anymore. Which is more than she deserves for running off with the likes of your kind!” she threw back.

Thorin took a further step in, making the two step back warily. “Do not DARE call Bella that or I will slit your throat, you she-orc!” The female gasped indignantly at the insult and the threat. “Now, I will only ask once more. Where is Bella Baggins?”

“She…she’s not here,” replied the male, Otho.

“Where is she?” demanded Thorin.

“Why should we tell you anything?” interrupted the female. “You have no right to be here. This is my home now and no common dwarf will demand anything from me!”

This one was either very brave or very stupid, thought Thorin. “Common? I am Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror and the King of Erebor! And you WILL tell me where Bella is or Mahal help you.” He had put all the authority and arrogance he possessed into his voice and he felt satisfaction at the two hobbits’ faces paling at his words and tone.

Otho seemed to be the first to realise that it would be wiser to give this dwarf king the answer he was seeking. “Bella has not returned to Hobbiton since she left. We had word a few months ago that she is staying with the elves.”

The information shook Thorin. Bella was in Rivendell. He had come all this way and she was not even here. The feeling of disappointment rushed through him before he pushed it away. This was only a setback. He would find his Bella one way or another. First, he had to deal with these two.

“What are your names?” he demanded.

The female glared at him before answering. “I am Lobelia Sackville-Baggins and this is my husband, Otho, and Bag End belongs to us now.”

Thorin recalled Bella mentioning those names, usually in anger and disgust. She seemed to have a hate/hate relationship with Lobelia who was related to her by marriage and who felt that Bag End should be hers and her husband’s because Bella was unmarried and Otho should have been the rightful heir of Bag End. Bella had told him of the numerous arguments between them and how Lobelia had even petitioned The Thain, the hobbits’ leader, to have Bella removed from her home and have Bag End given to Otho. A petition she had lost. Now, it seemed that these two had taken Bella’s absence as the opportunity to take what they wanted. Thorin hated usurpers, knowing all too well the suffering they caused.

Bella might not be here, but he was not going to let her hated enemies take what was hers. A home was sacred, and Bella would have her home. It would be for her to decide what to do with it, not these rats before him.

“And by what rights do you claim this house?” he asked.

“What right do you have to question us?” replied Lobelia rudely. Oh, he would have pleasure tossing her out on her fat behind.

“By the right of being Bella Baggins’ betrothed and soon-to-be husband. It is my job to protect what is hers and this is her home,” he replied firmly. They did not need to know the truth and it was what he hoped would happen anyway. Bella would surely thank him for it, wouldn’t she?

Their eyes widened in surprise at his words. Lobelia recovered first, unfortunately. “If you are her betrothed, why isn’t she with you and why didn’t you know she wasn’t here?” she asked snidely.

“There was a battle and I was gravely injured. I sent her home as it was not certain I would recover. Once I was well again I was to collect her. Obviously I did not get the message that she was waiting for me in Rivendell. It does not matter, I will meet her there instead. But first I will ask you to remove yourself from her home.” Thorin had never been a good liar and he was surprised it came so easily to him now. Although it was not really a lie, more a bending of the truth.

“We will certainly not leave!” cried Lobelia. “That tramp left and was considered dead by all so The Thain granted us Bag End.”

“Well, you know now that Bella is alive, so why have you not left? Also, if you insult my future queen again I will cut your tongue out. I’m sure your husband will be grateful,” he growled in her face. Her frightful features turned a mottled shade of purple in her indignation. “You are to pack your things and leave now.”

“How dare you?” gasped Lobelia.

“I am a King and dare what I wish, you harpy. I suggest you hurry.”

“We will not go!”

Thorin stared at her for a moment before calling out. “DWALIN!” It didn’t take long before the intimidating dwarf appeared at the door and the hobbits’ faces paled even more.

“You called, Sire?” said Dwalin, reverting to formality in the presence of strangers.

“Dwalin, these two erroneously believe that they have a right to Mistress Bella’s home and I have just disabused them of this notion. I have ordered they leave immediately but they are being stubborn. I believe they may need some further persuasion.”

The burly dwarf glared at the two hobbits. He was smart enough not to question Thorin about Bella at this moment. He would find out what was going on later, after these two left. Deliberately, he raised his hands, clenching and unclenching his fists, making sure _Insult_ and _Injury_ , the knuckle-dusters having been reforged after the battle, were quite visible to the now shaking hobbits.

“Of course, Sire,” agreed Dwalin. “I will just go and call the others and we will help them to gather their things.”

“Uh…others?” squeaked Otho.

“The rest of my guard,” explained Thorin. “All battle-hardened warriors who are extremely loyal to their future queen.” With a menacing smile, Dwalin went back outside to call the rest of the company.

“I suggest you start packing,” advised Thorin.

Lobelia looked like she was going to say something but her husband finally took charge. “Let’s go, Lobelia. We’ll go and see The Thain tomorrow.” He grabbed her arm and dragged her back into the house.

“There’s something going on with Bella but I don’t know what it is yet. There’re two fools who are trying to steal Bella’s home and we have to ‘urge’ them to leave,” explained Dwalin. “Don’t say anything about Bella except that she is your future queen and your loyalties are with her. Thorin will explain after they’ve left.”

“I hope she’s alright,” said Ori.

“Is she there?” asked Fili.

“I don’t know,” replied Dwalin. “Let’s just get them out and then we’ll talk.”

“No-one messes with our Aunt,” snapped Kili. “Let’s go.”

Thorin looked around the receiving room whilst waiting for the dwarves and saw that while all the furniture he could remember was there, it didn’t look like it had been properly looked after and there was a general air of neglect about the place. Poor Bella would have a fit if she saw this.

Bella. Bella who was in Rivendell. If only he’d known. He would have pushed aside his natural aversion to spending time in the elven colony if it meant seeing her. Now, he had to plan what he was going to do next.

It was too late to do anything now and they all needed rest. The Company would stay in Bag End for a few days before setting out once again. He would get the place cleaned for her and it would also ensure he got the point across to those two miserable hobbits that they had no right to this home. He would go and see this ‘Thain’ if he had to.

For the next hour, they watched Lobelia and Otho gather their possessions. Fili and Kili kept a close eye on them to ensure they only took what was theirs. Well, as much as they could.

“That’s Bella’s silverware!” exclaimed Fili sternly when Lobelia tried to pack up the knives and forks in the kitchen. “I remember those from the last time I was here. Put it back.”

With a hateful glare at the young dwarf, Lobelia did as instructed. A few more orders to return items soon ensured the message was not lost on the hobbits. The dwarves were going to protect Bella and her possessions and it would be a mistake to think otherwise.

Finally, two hours later, Otho’s cart was loaded with their surprisingly few possessions. They had obviously just taken over everything that Bella owned. Thorin believed Lobelia would have worn Bella’s clothes had she fit into them.

“This is not the end of this!” warned Lobelia as the pony moved off.

“It is as far as I’m concerned,” replied Thorin. “You will never get your hands on this house. Be gone!”

Once it was quiet, the dwarves sat in Bella’s parlour and listened to Thorin’s explanation of Bella’s whereabouts.

“So we’ve come all this way for nothing,” said Kili.

“No, not for nothing. If we hadn’t arrived, those two would still have possession of Bella’s home. I know she would hate that. She hates the Sackville-Bagginses and it would have hurt her to see it occupied by them. I know only too well how that feels.” The others nodded in agreement. “We will rest here a few days, take care of Bella’s home, clean and repair what needs doing and then we will set out for Rivendell. I will not rest until I have her back.”

“Good for you, uncle,” smiled Fili.

“Shall we go an’ have a look at what’s in the pantry?” asked Bofur cheekily. “I won’t feel guilty as those Sackville-Bagginses paid for it all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for all the kudos and viewings. It's a thrill to get an email advising me of new one.


	17. Chapter 17

After months of travel and sleeping rough, the first night in Bella’s home, ‘smial’, as she had referred to hobbit dwellings, was considered a sheer luxury by the dwarves. A tour of the surprisingly spacious home had revealed a total of five bedrooms including the master bedroom. Thorin had only seen the kitchen, dining and sitting rooms when he’d last been here so its size was somewhat of a surprise. Thorin thought it was probably too big for a single hobbit and surmised that Bella’s father had built it with the hopes of it accommodating a large brood of children which had not eventuated, Bella being the only child.

He remembered her telling him that she had felt lonely at times in her home but that she loved it all the same. Her father had proudly built it for her mother before they married and that it had been a happy home, even if both wished they could have given Bella a sibling.

Walking into what he assumed was her bedroom made him angry again at the audacity of those Sackville-Bagginses to invade her private space. He saw the drawers hanging open where they had grabbed their clothes and the wardrobe was empty. What had they done with Bella’s things? He made a note to himself to search the house for Bella’s clothes and restore them to their right place. That he would be touching her things had nothing to do with it, he argued with himself.

He looked at the wooden four-poster bed and couldn’t help imagining himself in it, Bella entangled in his arms. It was much smaller than his bed in Erebor but it would do. He would even make them a new one if it pleased Bella. Thorin realised he was getting a bit ahead of himself and re-focused on the room. Tomorrow, he would strip the bed and get this room cleaned out but he would not sleep here. He had no right. Only when, or if, Bella invited him to her bed, would he lay in it. He had done enough to her without invading this very personal space as well. It was bad enough that those vile people had slept here.

The dwarves choose the guest bedrooms to sleep in instead, sharing two to a room, except for Thorin, his status ensuring the others insisted he have his privacy. It would only be for a few nights, after all.

They were having breakfast the next morning while they discussed their plan of action.

“Now that it is day, we will inspect the house and property,” declared Thorin. “I want to make sure it that anything that needs cleaning or repairing is done. We were only here one night before, but you know that Bella is extremely house-proud and she would hate the condition that it has been left in.”

“Aye, she was in a right state that night when we tramped mud and dirt all over her clean floors,” agreed Dwalin with a smirk.

“I thought she was going to have an apoplexy when we started throwing her mother’s china around,” laughed Fili.

“I didn’t know that box I used to clean my boots on was anything special,” defended Kili.

“Poor lass,” agreed Bofur, shaking his head. “She was in a right tizzy that night. This is the least we can do for her.”

“How are we going to stop those people from coming back once we leave?” chimed in Ori.

Thorin’s eyes turned hard at the thought of it before answering. “I am not sure yet, but I think I will need to have words with this ‘Thain’. I want to know why those leeches were living here but I will find a way, even if I have to forge impenetrable dwarven gates to keep all but Bella out.”

As the Company agreed with him, the sound of a knock on the front door caught their attention.

“Ah, visitors! Who wants to do the honours?” teased Bofur.

“Leave it to me,” answered Dwalin as he stood from the table, followed closely by the others. They stood around the entrance hall, looking decidedly threatening in the event it was the Sackville-Bagginses, coming back for another round.

Dwalin opened the door to find a male hobbit on the doorstep who had drawn himself up to his full height and was trying to look brave, despite the trepidation in his eyes, especially after catching sight of the fearsome dwarf.

“Who are you?” asked Dwalin without any niceties. Tact had never been his strong point.

“M…my name is Dr…Drogo Baggins and I’m Bella Baggins’ cousin. I’ve come to…come to see wh…what you are doing in B…Bella’s home,” he replied nervously. “I…I won’t let you damage anything of hers.”

“And yet, you let those leeches live here and nearly ruin the place?” replied Thorin, stepping forward to glare at the hobbit. “Why was it necessary for us to have to throw them out?”

Just then, a gasp was heard and a female hobbit sprang out from the side and moved towards the dwarves. “So it’s true? You finally managed to get rid of them?” she asked breathlessly with a delighted laugh. “Oh that’s wonderful!”

Thorin said nothing and just fixed his blue-eyed gaze on her. She appeared to be of a similar age to the male, with rich dark brown hair tied back with a ribbon, her blue eyes sparkling with mirth.

Drogo wrapped his arm protectively around her shoulders before speaking. “This is my wife, Primula. She and Bella are close friends.”

Thorin nodded. “I am Thorin Oakenshield, King of Erebor. This is my company.”

“Oh, so you are Thorin! How exciting! I’ve never met a dwarf before but after Bella’s letters, I feel like I know you,” exclaimed Primula, almost quivering with excitement.

“You’ve heard from Bella?” asked Thorin, his attention caught.

“Oh yes! She has written me three letters since the first one when she let me know she was alive and well.”

Thorin looked at Dwalin, who nodded. “It seems there is much to discuss. Will you please come inside. I need some answers and I am certain you have questions,” said Thorin.

As the hobbits entered, Thorin introduced the members of his company, who all bowed and offered the traditional dwarven greetings. Primula headed straight to the kitchen, obviously well acquainted with Bella’s house and proceeded to put the water on to boil. As they sat around the table, Thorin decided to ask the first question.

“When did you receive Bella’s last letter and how much did she tell you about us?”

“I received a letter from her not two weeks ago,” replied Primula. “And she told me a little of her adventures and how you managed to defeat that awful dragon and reclaim your home. She didn’t say anything about her new friends coming to visit, though.”

Her choice of words told Thorin that Bella had not disclosed the nature of their relationship to her relatives. He decided not to say anything yet and didn’t answer her unasked question. “Why were those people living in Bella’s house? They claimed they had the right to be there.”

Drogo answered this time. “Well, you see, when Bella was gone so long it was widely thought that she had met with an unfortunate end, much to mine and Primula’s sadness.” Primula nodded her head in agreement. “We were very close as children and remain so to this day, so the thought of Bella dying was a terrible one to bear and we did not want to believe it but with no word it became harder and harder to dispute.”

“Yes, and then those Sackville-Bagginses started,” interjected Primula, her voice angry. “They demanded the Thain give them Bag End as it was clear that Bella had met an untimely death and the house should not be sitting empty. We argued that we could not be certain of Bella’s passing and that the Thain should wait longer before declaring her dead but Lobelia harangued him for days on end.”

“I can believe it,” said Dwalin. “A harridan, that one.”

“That’s being kind, Master Dwalin,” agreed Drogo. “Eventually the Thain caved in to Lobelia’s demands and declared Bella dead. Bella had left a note the morning she disappeared stating that should she not return, Primula and myself should have Bag End but Lobelia claimed that it had been written under duress and that Bella was obviously not in her right mind, having decided to leave with dwarves, and that the letter could not be deemed a valid will.”

“Again, the Thain backed down and agreed with her,” muttered Primula disgustedly. “Due to our complicated genealogy, Otho was deemed the heir and they moved in that very day. It was disgraceful. Everyone knew they hated each other and that it would be the last thing Bella wanted. Drogo, along with Bella’s other friends, tried to stop them but it didn’t work.”

“So, why is it that after discovering Bella was not dead, they continued to stay here?” asked Thorin with a frown.

“They wouldn’t go,” replied Drogo, simply. “We are a peaceful folk and we don’t have weapons. Lobelia dug her heels in and declared Bag End hers and that her dead body would have to be carted away before she left.”

“Wish I’d known that last night,” muttered Dwalin. “I would have gladly obliged her.”

“Us too,” agreed Kili.

“Oh, I wish I’d been here to see her face,” giggled Primula. “It must have been priceless.”

Bofur joined in her laughter. “Oh aye, it was a sight to see, all right. Thought her head would explode!”

“Thank you for getting rid of them for Bella,” said Drogo solemnly to Thorin. Primula stopped giggling and agreed with her husband.

“Bella will be so pleased her friends saved her home,” said Primula. “How long are you planning to stay?”

“A few days,” replied Thorin. “We will fix and clean the house. I also plan to have words with the Thain about this whole affair and then we will set out for Rivendell.”

“Oh, but Bella may be on her way back by now!” exclaimed Primula.

Not a sound was made by the dwarves at these words; only stares that made the hobbitess quite uncomfortable to be the focus of attention.

“What did you say?” asked Thorin, his voice a low growl.

Primula looked at Drogo in apprehension. What was the matter with these dwarves? Didn’t they _want_ to see Bella? “Um, well, Bella’s last letter said that she was making preparations to return to Hobbiton. I’m assuming that by the time I got it, she may have started her journey.”

Thorin didn’t hear the rest of the lass’ words. Bella was coming home!

He was making rough calculations in his head. He assumed Elrond had sent her letter with an elven messenger which meant it would probably take two to three weeks to get to Hobbiton. His journey from the Misty Mountains to here took six weeks but he had been in a hurry. Bella would probably not have the same haste, so it would most likely take two months or so. Then again, winter was fast approaching and it would not be wise to travel during the worst of it. If this was the case, she would most likely leave Rivendell after Yule. By his reckoning, Bella would be here in the early Spring.

If he left Hobbiton now, he could perhaps make it to Rivendell before the worst of the winter weather set in. But what if Bella had already left? He could accidentally pass her on the road. Most travellers moved off the road during the evenings and in inclement weather to seek shelter. Would it not be more prudent to remain here, take care of Bella’s smial to ensure the Sackville-Bagginses didn’t return and await her arrival?

He gave a thought to the time away he would be from Erebor but dismissed it. It would not be ideal but Bella was more important. He would wait for however long it took for her to get here.

Breaking off his musings, Thorin realised that the eyes of everyone at the table were on him, obviously waiting to hear his next course of action.

“In that case, we will remain here until Bella arrives,” he declared. Turning to the hobbit couple, he continued. “Your assistance in making our presence accepted by the populace here would be greatly appreciated and you will be amply rewarded.”

Primula beamed. “Oh, we don’t need any reward, do we Drogo?” Her husband shook his head. “I’ll be happy to show you around and introduce you. I can’t wait to see Bella’s surprise when she finds her friends here.” She paused as a thought obviously occurred to her. “Oh my! I just realised that we have been incredibly rude to not address you by your title, Your Majesty. It’s just that we’ve never had a king in the Shire before, at least, not that any of us can remember. I hope you can forgive us, Your Majesty. Oh dear…”

Thorin raised his hand to silence her words, secretly amused. This little lass reminded him of his Bella in many ways. It did seem true that hobbits were generally a simple, kindly folk barring a couple of obvious exceptions. “Please, my lady, do not trouble yourself. You may call me Thorin.” When she went to object, he continued. “We are not in Erebor now and my purpose here is not in an official capacity but as a friend to your cousin. We will be living here until she arrives and the constant use of my title would be terribly wearing. You may not be aware of it, but Bella Baggins is the bravest, most loyal soul I have ever met and I would not be King of Erebor if it weren’t for her. I, and my kin, owe her a debt that could never adequately be repaid. You, as her kin, and close friends, are deserving of our highest respect and honour. We need not stand on ceremony with each other.”

He looked around and saw the smiles on the dwarves’ faces at his words, and also the slight surprise. These words would never have been uttered by him three years ago. Then, he was filled with anger, hate and a willing disdain for any who were not dwarves. His time with Bella had shown him the true qualities of hobbits that he would have disregarded before. Their peaceful ways he had viewed with scorn, seeing them as a weakness, rather than the strength they really were. Working alongside Bard and Thranduil had softened his views as well. Not all men and elves were wicked, greedy creatures. Many had honour and did what they had to in order to survive. Yes, there were evil men and untrustworthy elves, just as there were unsavoury dwarves, as he had learned to his cost over the many years in exile, but not all could be tarred with the same brush. Thorin knew his dwarven nature was to be secretive and mistrustful of others and that would never change; he also knew that letting go of some of that mistrust brought with it rewards for himself and his people. The restoration of Erebor could not possibly go so well without the aid of the men and elves.

Primula and Drogo were gaping at him but it was she who recovered first. “Th…thank you. Um, would you mind terribly if I called you ‘my lord’? Using your name just doesn’t sit well with me. You’re a king, for goodness sake!”

Seeing she was going to work herself up into a state, Thorin sagely inclined his head in accord. “If you must.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Before the Bagginses left, Primula promised to show them the markets and introduce some of the neighbours. They themselves lived in a smial at the bottom of the hill and were to return in the afternoon.

The dwarves then inspected Bella’s home and took note of what needed doing. Dwalin declared that the iron hob in the fireplace was on its last legs and needed replacing, along with a number of Bella’s tools and gardening implements.

“I could forge some new ones, if there was a forge available,” said Thorin. “In fact, I would replace most of the hinges and locks. These are not up to dwarven standards.”

“Aye, but dwarves didn’t make them, did they?” replied Bofur.

“We can ask Primula if there is a forge anywhere nearby,” said Fili, as he opened and closed a closet door, listening for squeaks.

“I want to explore Hobbiton first,” declared Kili. “We’ve plenty of time to fix things.”

“No, we will do what needs doing first,” countered Thorin. “We do not know when Bella will arrive and I want this place perfect for her.”

“What if it’s so perfect she doesn’t want to leave?” asked Dwalin.

“Regardless, it’s but a small measure of repayment of our debt to her,” replied Thorin who had asked himself the same thing. Then again, if she asked him to stay here, then at least it would meet his standards.

Primula returned as promised and took Fili, Kili, Bofur, Bifur and Ori down to the markets. Thorin and Dwalin chose to remain behind. A number of hobbits remembered them from the Green Dragon and greeted them enthusiastically, urging them to head down for another ale soon. Others were wary, particularly when they saw Bifur’s axe, and kept their distance. The sight of so many dwarves within their village, or indeed, The Shire, was so strange that they deemed caution was needed around these strangers. The young ones, which they learned were called ‘fauntlings’, seemed fascinated by the strange dwarves and they soon gathered a collection of followers, especially when Kili let one sit on his shoulders, much to the mother’s consternation. After that, the children were clamouring for their turn. The two princes also garnered quite a bit of attention from the hobbit lasses who were intrigued by their exotic looks, so different to a hobbit lad. The princes certainly enjoyed the attention, catching several eyes and making the lasses blush and giggle.

“I think I’m going to enjoy our stay here, brother,” remarked Fili as they headed back to Bag End, both carrying several sacks of food to re-stock the pantry.

“Me too,” agreed Kili with a grin. “Never realised hobbit lasses were so pretty.”

“Oi! Bella’s beautiful,” exclaimed Bofur.

“Oh, I know that,” replied Kili. “I just thought maybe she was more an exception than the rule. Glad to see I was wrong,” he replied with a smirk.

“You just watch yourselves, boys. I wouldn’t want to see Bella’s reaction if you mess about with one of her kin. Or Thorin’s reaction either,” warned Bofur.

“We’ll just have some harmless fun, if the opportunity arises,” reasoned Fili. “Bella did say hobbits loved to dance. What could be better than a harmless dance with a pretty hobbit lass? Who knows, Kili might even get his first kiss,” he teased, grinning at his brother which led to pushing and shoving until Bifur separated them.

When asked about a forge, Primula told Thorin that there was one just outside the village but it hadn’t been used for many years, since the previous blacksmith had passed away from old age. Most of the hobbits’ metal items were purchased from traders, dwarves amongst them, that sold their wares in Michel Delving, to the west of Hobbiton. Most hobbits preferred farming and they had made do without a local smith.

Thorin resolved to inspect the forge and determine if it could be used for his purpose.

It wasn’t until the following day that trouble blew in, in the forms of Otho and Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, who were accompanied by an older hobbit who seemed to be of some importance, if the quality of his clothing were anything to go by.

Thorin was in the process of storing Bella’s clothing back into her chests and closet after he had found them unceremoniously thrown into one of the cupboards in a spare bedroom. That she-orc had bundled everything up so Thorin was trying to sort it all out. If he occasionally held one of her shirts to his face and breathed in deeply in order to inhale her essence, well, no one else need know. Her under-things he treated with as much detachment as he could, not wanting to seem like some sort of lecher who preyed on women’s underclothes, though his hands shook with the effort. As he hung up one her dresses in the closet, there was an imperious knock on the front door.

He met Dwalin in the hallway, the unspoken question in both their eyes. As Dwalin pulled open the door, Thorin absent-mindedly thought that he needed to re-paint the door as soon as possible. That yellow was simply ghastly. He would paint it the same green that Bella had before. She would like that.

He was pulled from his thoughts by Dwalin’s growl. At the door stood that atrocious couple, along with another strange hobbit. Pulling himself to his full height, he made his voice as imperious as possible. “What do you want? I believe it was made clear that you were not welcome here.”

Lobelia puffed her chest up in outrage. “ _You_ are the ones not welcome here. I have brought the Thain to sort this business out and direct you and your lot to leave.”

Thorin turned his ice-cold glare on the hobbit, who, despite his well-to-do appearance seemed to shrink under the dwarf king’s stare. “So, you are this ‘Thain’? By what right did you allow these ‘people’ to take what was not theirs?” The disdain and repugnance he felt for the Sackville-Bagginses was evident in every syllable.

The Thain cleared his throat nervously and pulled himself to his full height before speaking. “Your Majesty, please forgive our meeting in this unfortunate manner. I am Isengrim Took, the Thain of the Shire.”

“Answer the question,” demanded Thorin, ignoring the niceties. “Why was Bella Baggins’ home allowed to be stolen?”

“Stolen! Oh the nerve!” cried Lobelia.

“Silence! Another word from you and I will carry out my promise,” snarled Thorin.

“Sire, Your Majesty,” stumbled the Thain. “Please understand, we all believed our Bella to be lost to us. Her home was not given lightly but it was believed to be the correct thing to do.”

“Even though she left a note saying she left Bag End to Drogo Baggins?”

“Sire, that was written in haste and not considered a proper will,” defended the Thain.

“So when you discovered that Bella was, in fact, alive, why did you not order these two out?” His temper was rising and it had the poor hobbit shaking.

“Um, I did advise them to leave, my lord,”

“Advise? _Advise_? You should have thrown them out yourself! You are the leader here, I gather? Are you so weak-kneed that you allow yourself to pushed around by this harridan?” He indicated Lobelia, who practically squeaked in anger.

“No…not…normally, but it was…difficult,” he stammered.

Thorin thrust his face into the hobbit’s. “In my kingdom, this sort of insolence and disobedience would be classed as treason. And you know what the punishment for treason is?” he asked softly, his voice all the more terrifying for it. The Thain shook his head, sweat visible on his forehead. “Death by beheading.” He ignored the loud swallow. “In her case, it would be a blessing for everyone.”

“Well! I never…” started Lobelia before being interrupted by Dwalin.

“I would be quiet if I were you,” he warned her. “When he talks like that, it does not bode well.”

Otho chose that moment to speak up. “Be quiet, Lobelia! Let the Thain sort it out.”

“Yes, well, we don’t have that sort of punishment in the Shire,” replied the Thain, who wished this would all just go away.

“Pity,” replied Thorin, glowering at Lobelia before straightening. “I have now done your work for you and removed these squatters.”

“Th…thank you, Sire,” replied Isengrim, ignoring Lobelia’s gasp. “It was most certainly remiss of me to not force them to leave once I knew that Bella was, indeed, alive. It will not happen again.”

“No, it will not,” agreed Thorin. “I and my company will stay here until Miss Baggins returns. She is held in supremely high regard amongst my people and if it ever reaches my ears that her home is wrongfully used again, the consequences will be severe.”

“Of course, of course,” nodded the Thain. He would keep the Sackville-Bagginses out of Bella’s smial even if it meant locking them in his cellar. He had no desire to incur the wrath of this dwarven king. “Um, Your Majesty, am I presuming correctly that Miss Bella is your betrothed?”

Thorin should have known his lie would come back and sting him. He had to ensure no-one said anything of the sort until after he’d seen Bella. “That is correct but it is not official yet. Therefore, I do not want this news spread by any of you. If I hear of it from any one else, I will know who did not keep their silence,” he said, scowling at Lobelia in particular. “And I can promise you, you _will_ regret it.”

“By all means, it will not leave this gate,” promised the Thain. “Is that not right, Lobelia?” There was no mistaking his look. Lobelia sneered but nodded curtly.

Wishing him and Dwalin a good day, obviously relieved to be leaving Thorin’s presence, the Thain practically dragged Lobelia away, muttering warnings the whole way.

“Think they’ll keep their mouths shut?” asked Dwalin.

“They had better,” replied Thorin grimly.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Somewhat to Thorin’s surprise, he did not hear any rumours or mutterings about his supposed ‘betrothal’ over the next three months. He neither saw nor heard from the Sackville-Bagginses in that time, so Lobelia must have kept the information to herself. He was pleased about that because he really did not want to have to deal with the repercussions of having harmed the hobbit if she didn’t heed his threat. Harming a female was totally not in his nature, even if Bella probably thought otherwise, but this Lobelia could drive anyone to murder. How her husband put up with her, Thorin simply could not understand.

With Primula’s help, the dwarves had settled into life amongst the hobbits while Thorin waited for Bella to arrive. He had inspected the forge and deemed it suitable for his needs. He had spent years working in hundreds of different forges, so this one presented no real challenge. He only meant to use it to repair items around Bella’s smial, not make fine jewellery or armour. If Bella returned to Erebor with him, he would craft the finest metals and jewels to adorn her beauty. The Thain readily gave him permission to take over the unused forge, bending over backwards to please the dwarven king. Nothing was too much trouble as far as the Thain was concerned.

Not used to being idle, Thorin proceeded to repair or replace all of the metal locks, hinges, knobs and hooks, as well as Bella’s cooking pots and anything else that he deemed he could improve. There could not now be heard so much as a tiny squeak from any of the doors, cupboards or gates in the residence.

As Bella’s neighbours discovered Thorin’s skill, they tentatively began requesting he make or repair things for them in exchange for fresh or cooked food, offers to repair clothing or help around the smial. To have a skilled blacksmith in the village was seen as a wonderful thing. It would save them having to travel to Michel Delving or other villages to have iron work done for them. Thorin had refused at first, memories of being swindled by unscrupulous men during the years of exile still fresh in his mind, but as he completed repairs on Bella’s home, he found a desire to keep busy. The work was certainly not taxing and with hobbits’ innate honesty, the pantry was kept stocked, tasty treats received, clothing made or repaired and his time was filled doing what he as a dwarf intrinsically enjoyed. Thorin also reasoned that if Bella asked him to remain here with her, he would have something to occupy his time with.

Dwalin, in the meantime, had been somewhat horrified to learn that there were no weapons to be found in Hobbiton and that the hobbits had no idea of how to fight. He believed even the most peaceful of places could be attacked and he considered the hobbits particularly vulnerable.

It started when the dwarves found a field that they could use to practice their fighting skills. Life in Hobbiton was as slow-paced as Bella had described, the food even better, and Dwalin refused to let them get soft or fat as a result. They quickly drew the attention of the populace, particularly the young males who were awed by the skill and ferocity shown by the dwarves, even when only practising. He didn’t fail to notice the number of young female hobbits that appeared each time, especially when Fili and Kili were training.

One afternoon, as he wiped down his axes after a particularly heavy session, a young hobbit named Odo tentatively approached him and asked about his weapons. Dwalin’s gruff manner didn’t seem to deter him when he asked if he could learn how to use an axe. Dwalin rebuffed him but Odo came back again and again until Dwalin gave in. Unfortunately, the axe was much too heavy for the small hobbit so Dwalin used a stick to begin with.

As other hobbits found out about Odo’s training, they too begged to be trained and soon Dwalin found himself teaching a number of hobbits to wield a weapon. He even had Thorin forge a number of lighter-weight swords and axes that the hobbits could use. The other dwarves also joined in with the teaching and it became a common sight to see a number of hobbits duelling together as Dwalin marched between them, barking out instructions. Some of the parents had complained about Dwalin corrupting their sons but one glare from the huge dwarf tended to encourage them to keep their complaints to themselves.

Bifur and Bofur became a favourite of the young fauntlings as word of their skill in toy-making became known. They didn’t seem to have an issue with the fact that there was an axe sticking out of Bifur’s forehead and they were regularly seen surrounded by children as they crafted wondrous toys for them. To get a kite or toy dragon from the dwarves was considered almost as a status symbol; something to be treasured.

Bofur was sitting outside the Green Dragon one fine winter’s day, sipping his ale as he carved the little flute he was making for one small lad who was fascinated by his own. The cold air wasn’t bothering him and it was enjoyable to sit in the afternoon sunshine as he worked. The others were up in the ‘training’ field with Dwalin and he was alone. The rustle of movement to his left had him turning his head, expecting to see another young one but instead a lovely hobbit lady was standing nearby, watching him work. He had seen her around before and couldn’t help noting her beautiful thick black hair and green eyes. She wasn’t as young as the lasses that fawned over the princes; instead, there was an air of maturity about her. She looked nervous standing there so Bofur smiled at her, his eyes twinkling.

“Hello there, lass,” he said. “Aren’t you cold out here?”

“Oh, no. I don’t mind the cold. It’s too lovely a day to be indoors, don’t you think?” she asked with a shy smile.

“Aye, that it is,” he replied.

“What are you making?” she asked, inching closer.

“A wee flute for a little lad who asked me to make one for him,” he replied. “Come sit and I’ll show you.” She sat down near him and he could smell the scent of flowers and noted the depth of colour in her eyes. She was certainly a beauty. “What is your name?”

“My name?” she replied, before blushing prettily. “I mean, my name is Poppy. Poppy Gardner.”

“Bofur, son of Findur, at your service,” said Bofur with a grin, standing up and giving her a deep bow, his funny hat in his hand. “Pleased to meet you Poppy.”

Poppy giggled and he couldn’t help but notice what a lovely sound it was. As he proceeded to show her his work, conversation seemed to flow between them easily and nearly two hours passed before they noticed that the sun was beginning to set. Reluctantly, Poppy stood to return home and casually mentioned that she usually visited the market every morning. Bofur took her hand in his and raised it to his lips, thanking her for her company, very much enjoying the sight of the rosy blush on her cheeks and also very casually mentioned that he spent most days making his toys nearby. They said their final farewells and he unashamedly watched her until she was out of sight, sighing softly to himself.

Throughout their time spent in Hobbiton, Ori continued to chronicle everything in his book. He spent hours drawing pictures: Thorin at the forge, sleeves rolled up as he prepared to bring down the hammer on a red-hot piece of iron, Dwalin running the young hobbits through their paces, Bifur making his toys, surrounded by little ones, Fili and Kili telling their tales whilst surrounded by a bevy of young, pretty hobbit lasses and Bofur smiling at the lovely lady that had caught his eye. He was sure that Bella would love the pictures.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Winter was nearly over and the first signs of spring were now evident in Hobbiton. Everywhere there were young, green shoots and flowering buds waiting for their time to burst open and delight the inhabitants with their colour and scent.

The dwarves were all lazing in front of the fire in Bella’s parlour, having cleaned up the kitchen after their meal. There had been talk of heading down to the Green Dragon as was their wont of an evening, their presence eagerly received by the hobbits, but the weather was threatening and it was simply too cosy inside by the fire. Instead, Thorin was reading one of Bella’s books, while Bifur and Bofur were whittling away on a piece of wood. Dwalin was cleaning and sharpening his blades and Fili and Kili were playing a game with stones that they had learned from their loyal admirers. Ori, as usual, had his head in his book.

The sound of the front door slamming open had them leaping to their feet, prepared to take on whoever dared to invade Bella’s house. Thorin almost wished it was Lobelia. He had changed the lock for a sturdier one to keep her out, but they had not yet locked up for the night. Grabbing his sword, which was never far away, he led the others out of the parlour and into the entrance hall where he stopped short, all breath leaving him as he saw who it was.

“Bella!” he gasped in astonishment.

There stood his hobbit, eyes huge as she stared at him in shock. The bag she carried dropped to the floor like a stone as she staggered back a couple of steps, slumping against the door post, hand against her chest as her mouth gaped open like a floundering fish.

“Wh…wh…wha…” was all that came out for a few moments. Then before their very eyes, they saw her face become bright red as she pulled herself together.

“WHAT IN ARDA’S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos and views. I'm honoured that you are enjoying my efforts.


	18. Chapter 18

Leaving Rivendell had proven harder to do than Bella had expected.

When she had first broached the subject of returning home with Lord Elrond, he had assured her that she was in no way overstaying her welcome and that she mustn’t feel like she had to leave if she truly wanted to stay.

“Thank you, my lord,” replied Bella. “I have so loved my time here. It has helped me come to terms with…things…but now I feel like I am strong enough to face everyone back home and deal with their questions and stares. I can never thank you enough for allowing me to stay here and heal, if not completely, then enough to allow me to carry on with my life. I suppose time will complete the process.”

“There is no need for gratitude, young Bella,” replied Elrond with a fatherly smile. “We have certainly enjoyed your stay and you will be missed when you leave. I am glad that your heart is a little lighter.”

“It is,” nodded Bella. “I don’t know if anyone could stay here and not feel the effect it can have. And thank you once again for letting me roam free in your library. It is truly marvellous and I will sorely miss it. Oh, and you, of course,” she blurted.

Lord Elrond chuckled and shook his head. “I will not flatter myself and claim my company was what you most enjoyed. It did not take much to realise what the real attraction of Imladris was,” he joked, making Bella giggle.

He promised to send word to Gandalf of Bella’s desire to return home. Bella didn’t know how long that would take, or indeed, how one was supposed to even find the wizard. He was forever roaming Middle-earth but he somehow seemed to turn up when he was needed so she settled down to wait. In the meantime, she wrote to her cousin Primula to advise her of her impending return but, obviously, could give no fixed date as it depended on Gandalf’s arrival.

As it turned out, Gandalf arrived in Rivendell nearly a month after Lord Elrond sent out his messenger but, by then, winter was settling in and it was deemed too dangerous to travel. When the worst of it passed, Gandalf and Lord Elrond agreed that it was safe to undertake the journey, so provisions were prepared for the two travellers.

Saying goodbye to Arwen was difficult. The two had become such good friends during Bella’s stay and she was going to miss her terribly. Arwen had gifted Bella with an elven cloak to keep her warm on her travels. It was a lovely dove-grey colour and as light as a feather but, whatever elven magic was imbued in it, it was able to keep out all but the heaviest rain, was cool in warm weather and provided warmth when needed. Bella was awed by such a lovely, and practical, gift. It would come in terribly handy on the journey home.

“I will miss you, my friend,” said Arwen as she kissed Bella’s cheek. “Promise that this will not be the last time we meet.”

Bella smiled tearfully at the beautiful elf and squeezed her hands. “I promise. Somehow, I’ll come back and visit you and your father. I will miss you too. I will miss our chats by the fountains. You have helped me so much, Arwen.”

“Your friendship has been a blessing to me, Bella,” replied Arwen. “And you have helped me too, you know. I occasionally have doubts about whether Estel and I are doing the right thing, with so many obstacles in our path, but you have helped me affirm that our love is worth all the difficulties and distance we will endure before we can be together. I am sure that remembering our talks in the future will help when those doubts creep back in.”

“I have no doubt that it will work out for you, Arwen. You are perfect for each other.”

Bella had met the serious, young man that Arwen was in love with. He had made a brief visit four months ago and he had introduced himself as Aragorn, Estel being the name the elves, and Arwen, used. He towered over Bella, with dark hair and solemn blue-grey eyes that shone when he looked at his beloved. Bella thought him very handsome and considered they made a beautiful couple although it gave her a pang to see them so obviously in love. Knowing their time together was brief, Bella made herself scarce whilst Aragorn was visiting, and comforted Arwen when he inevitably left to return to his duties.

After a final goodbye hug, Bella turned to Lord Elrond, who took her hand and bent low to kiss it. Ignoring the rules of propriety, Bella wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug, not seeing the look of surprise on his face before it turned into a fond smile as he gently hugged her back.

Stepping back, Bella blushed at her rash action. “Sorry.”

“For what? Farewelling a friend? That never needs an apology,” Elrond reassured her gently.

Thanking him once again for his immense kindness and generosity, Bella turned to Gandalf who helped her mount her pony.

“Ready, Bella?” asked Gandalf, looking at her intently.

Bella knew what Gandalf was really asking. Was she ready to leave the security and peace of Rivendell to journey home? Was she ready to face the stares and whispers of her village after such a long absence? Was she ready to move on with her life?

The pain in her heart was still there but now it was a dull ache that, whilst always present, could be forgotten briefly when she was occupied with other things. Certain things could make that pain flare briefly, when memories or dreams intruded, but for the most part, it now just gently hummed inside her, a part of her.

“Yes, Gandalf, I’m ready,” replied Bella, taking a deep breath. A tiny nod of acknowledgement, and then Gandalf urged their mounts to move forward. With a final wave, a teary-eyed Bella watched as Lord Elrond and Arwen were soon lost to her sight and turned to face forward.

Bella was going home.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The journey itself was mainly uneventful and most nights were spent in camp, but as this was a well-travelled road, there were more farmsteads and villages to pass by. As winter had not yet ended, there were a few nights where the inclement weather forced them to seek shelter in one of the farms or villages. Most people east of Bree had never seen a hobbit before so Bella received a number of curious stares by their hosts, but had not been subjected to any rudeness. She doubted Gandalf would have stood for that.

Bella was surprised to find herself wishing to visit the Trollshaws and see the petrified trolls once again. Why that was, she wasn’t certain. Maybe it was to make sure in her mind that the three trolls hadn’t unexpectedly returned to life and able to threaten other travellers or maybe it was just to see the place where she first felt like she had contributed to the Company, even if was only stalling for time before Gandalf arrived to save them from being the troll’s dinner.

Tom, Bert and William were still there, as if they had been carved from stone. Tentatively, Bella reached out and touched one, still not totally convinced that he wouldn’t reach out and grab her like last time. Of course, that didn’t happen and she finally accepted that they were no longer a threat to anyone.

As it was getting late, Gandalf suggested that they make camp nearby and Bella couldn’t help recalling the last time they camped there. Thorin arguing with Gandalf; the wizard stomping off to who knows where; Fili and Kili losing the ponies and talking her into investigating it and then the company being captured by the trolls and almost becoming the main course.

Looking back now, it was almost comical, but it surely wasn’t then. Certainly, the hurt she had felt when Thorin refused to acknowledge her part in rescuing them all was no laughing matter. She hadn’t realised then why she felt like that – Thorin had done nothing but disparage and treat her with ill-disguised contempt since the night they met. Why should now be any different? Finally, she felt useful to the Company instead of an unwanted outsider, if mainly by their leader, and it hurt that it still wasn’t enough to appease him.

There was also an element of anger. What had she done to make him hate her so? He didn’t have to allow her on the quest. He could have refused, despite Gandalf’s urgings, and taken his stupid contract with him when he left Bag End. Instead, he seemed to take out his anger on her for any slight mistake she made. It was as if her very existence antagonised him and she couldn’t fathom it. He and his company had barged into _her_ house, demolished the pantry, scared her half to death with talk of the dragon and yet, _she_ was the one in the wrong?

Now she knew why she had felt that way. She had been attracted to him from the start, even if she had not acknowledged it to herself. Somehow, she must have believed that her actions in saving the Company might lead to a change in his attitude to her only to be disappointed. Well, it was neither here nor there now.

“Gandalf? Do you think Gloin’s treasure is still buried in the troll cave?” she asked the wizard.

“His ‘long-term deposit’, you mean?” chuckled Gandalf as he smoke his pipe. “I daresay it is still there. Not that he needs it anymore.”

“No, I suppose not, what with all that gold in Erebor,” she replied. She still did not like to think of the gold – it had cost her too much.

“Do you want to see if it’s still there?” asked Gandalf.

“Certainly not! What do I want with it?” she replied with a shudder of aversion. “No, leave it for some other person to find. It stinks in there anyway.”

“No, you don’t need it. You did earn your share of Erebor’s gold as per your contract, you realise?”

“Thorin can keep it,” she muttered harshly. “After all, it had more value than me, didn’t it?” she added bitterly.

“You know he wasn’t in his right mind at the time,” Gandalf pointed out gently.

“I know,” she admitted. “It’s still there, though. The possibility of him succumbing again,” she explained.

“Yes, it is,” he agreed. “But I believe that Thorin is far stronger than his grandfather and I doubt he will let it happen again. He did fight it off in the end and I suspect he will be ever vigilant that he does not allow himself to fall prey to it again. He has seen the cost first hand.”

_So have I_ , thought Bella. _So have I_. To Gandalf, she replied, “For the sake of his people, at least, I hope you are right.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Once they reached Bree and Bella saw the odd hobbit here and there, the reality of how close to home she was struck her. It had been nearly two years since she had last seen her home and she wondered what state it was in. Was the garden completely overgrown or had her neighbour, Hamfast, maintained it in her absence? There would be nothing to eat as anything that the dwarves had left, which was very little, would have gone bad by now and there was probably a thick layer of dust over everything.

Still, it would give her an excuse to closet herself away while she put everything to rights. She had no doubts that the visits would start once word got around that she was back. Maybe she could pretend she still wasn’t home? No, that wouldn’t work for long. She would just have to grin and bear it and become the object of curiosity and speculation for the village. It wouldn’t be the first the time and she doubted it would be the last.

Bella knew the moment they crossed into The Shire – there was just something about the trees and plants, the lushness and tranquillity, that was different to anywhere else. She could now speak of the differences with authority, having seen much of the world outside its borders.

When they reached the turn off to the road that led to Hobbiton, Gandalf halted the ponies and Bella looked at him in puzzlement.

“Well, my dear, this is where I will leave you,” he announced.

“Don’t you want to stay the night, Gandalf, and get a good night’s rest before you continue your journey?” asked Bella. It was now nearing dusk and she had assumed that the wizard would resume his travels the following morning.

“Thank you for the offer, but I have a need to make haste to my next destination so I mustn’t linger,” he replied. “I know that you will be safe on your own from here.”

“Of course I’ll be safe, Gandalf. I’ve travelled these roads all my life.” Bella looked up at the wizard with a small shake of her head. Didn’t he _ever_ stop wandering around Middle-earth? “I’m sorry if accompanying me home has taken you from more important matters.”

“Nonsense, my dear! It has been my pleasure to do so.”

“Well then, thank you for getting me home safely. I will miss you. Please be sure to visit when you are next in the vicinity, Gandalf. We can sit around the fire and reminisce on our adventures together,” said Bella with a watery smile.

This really _was_ the end of their adventure together. They had come full-circle and now Gandalf was off on other missions and she was going back to her old life. She could feel the sadness creeping up on her but she determinedly pushed it away. She had accepted that this was her life now, she had!

“I will miss you too, little Bella,” replied Gandalf. “But I will look forward to our little chats when I visit you.” B

ella hugged the grey wizard for the last time and with a wave of her hand, watched him leave for his next adventure. When he was out of sight, she heaved a big sigh and turned her pony onto the road towards Hobbiton.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The last leg of her journey took longer than she thought it would and it was now evening with only the lights from the lit smials of her neighbours providing any illumination but as she had told Gandalf, she knew these paths like the back of her hand and had little trouble making her way towards the hill that led up to Bag End.

Bella was somewhat grateful for the lateness of the hour as it prevented her from meeting anyone she knew and having to answer their questions or see the surprise on their faces at her return. By now, she just wanted to get home, eat what provisions she had with her in her bag and go to sleep. Tomorrow, she would start dealing with life back in Hobbiton.

As she reached the bottom of the hill, she looked up and frowned when she saw light shining from inside Bag End. Who was inside her house? It was supposed to be empty. Oh, that Lobelia had better not have made free with her home! There would be hell to pay if she had. Bella was not the same hobbit that had left two years ago and she would have no compunction about kicking her behind out of there, manners be damned!

Trudging up the hill, Bella could feel her temper rising with each step. After all she had been through, all she had done, to come home and find her home invaded by that she-dragon was the last straw. She did not even consider that it could be anyone else. Only Lobelia Sackville-Baggins had enough nerve and motivation to try and steal her house. The witch probably though she was dead. _Well, I’ll show her who she’s now messing with_ , she thought angrily. _Maybe I’ll pull out Sting. It will probably glow blue_ , she snickered.

When she reached her gate, she couldn’t help notice that the garden was in good shape, with the plants neatly trimmed and ready to burst into their spring colours. Taking a couple of steps up she saw that her front door seemed to be freshly painted. She had expected it to have faded over the last two years but it gleamed, even in the dim light of an overcast sky that threatened rain, or even snow.

_Well, at least she’s keeping up the place_ , sneered Bella. I _t still doesn’t mean I won’t throw her out immediately_.

Reaching the door, she couldn’t help noticing that the front door lock was different and that even the hinges looked new. Bella frowned in puzzlement. Did that mean that her key didn’t work? Why change the hinges, though? Damn, now she would have to knock when she wanted the element of surprise on her side.

Deciding to see if the door was actually locked, she was surprised to find that it easily slid open and her anger reared again, causing her to slam the door open, not expecting the hinges to work so smoothly.

The first impression of her entrance hall was that it was immaculate. There was not a spot of dust to be seen and all the wood gleamed with polish, just the way she liked it.

About to take another step inside, what, or rather who, she saw, caused all the blood to drain from her face as she staggered backwards and slumped against the door jamb. Her bag dropped uselessly from her hand as she raised it to her frantically beating heart that felt like it was going to explode from her chest.

Thorin!

Thorin was here. He was in her house. What? Why? How? Her mind was racing.

What was he doing here? How could he be here? Why was he here when he hated her? Oh, he looks so good! But how is this possible? Had she finally gone mad? Was her mind playing tricks on her? Those eyes! He’s not real, he can’t be. Then he spoke.

“Bella!”

That voice! Surely that wasn’t her imagination? No, he’s really here.

Thorin, the man she loved, who she had worked so hard to get over. Here in Bag End.

She had no idea that her mouth was gaping and she was uttering nonsense in the complete shock of seeing Thorin again so unexpectedly. She was barely aware of the other dwarves in the room, her focus completely on Thorin.

All those months in Rivendell, working to try to come to terms with the end of their relationship, attempting to convince herself it was all for the best and that her life needed to move on was ruined with the first glimpse of his beautiful face.

All the anguish, pain, fear and love came rushing back and the wound in her heart and soul that had been patched over with time and distance was crudely ripped open again, as if it had all happened yesterday.

It was all for nothing! Her time in Rivendell was all for nothing. Damn him! Hadn’t he hurt her enough?

The maelstrom of emotions was threatening to overwhelm her but rising above all the others was fury. Fury that one single look from those blue eyes could undo all those months of healing. Fury that she wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms despite all that he had done. Fury that he had invaded the one haven she had left and ruined it forever. Fury that despite everything, she still loved him desperately.

The volcanic emotions within her erupted.

“WHAT IN ARDA’S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING IN MY HOUSE?” she screamed shrilly, all control lost.

“Bella…” Thorin started but the sound of his voice just fanned the flames of her fury.

“HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU INVADE MY HOME? MY HOME! YOU THREW ME OUT OF YOURS AND NOW YOU WANT TO TAKE MINE TOO?”

“Bella, please…” pleaded Thorin, with an anguished look.

“GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!”

Bella knew in the recesses of her mind that she was becoming hysterical but she was powerless to stop it. She was panting unevenly, her heart pounding and her face flushed. She could feel herself trembling all over and she didn’t know how long she would be able to stay upright.

“HAVEN’T I PAID ENOUGH FOR WHAT I DID? DON’T I DESERVE SOME PEACE? DIDN’T YOU ALREADY INVADE MY HOME AND RUIN MY LIFE? MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED ME WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE!”

Thorin was stunned by her outburst. Stunned and horrified. He had caused this. To see his Bella in such pain due to him was horrendous. He could see that she was out of control and watched her sway on her feet. His first instinct was to reach out for her to stop her falling and injuring herself.

“Bella, don’t…” he cried, stepping forward as he reached out to take hold of her in case she fell.

The movement seemed to cut through Bella’s hysteria as her eyes widened in fear and she flinched, as if expecting him to hurt her and she let out a terrified whimper before her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she blacked out.

The pain he had endured from the injuries he sustained during the battle could in no way compare to the pain that seared through his whole body as he caught her before she hit the floor.

To see her recoil in fear from his touch was beyond agonising and he had no-one to blame for it but himself. If he had been alone, he would have been unable to stop his tears of shame and agony. He knew she would be angry but he didn’t expect such an extreme reaction at the sight of him. Had he made yet another huge mistake by coming here? Was his own selfishness causing her even greater harm than he already had?

Thorin looked down at the now pale, wan face of his beloved nestled in his arms and his heart grieved for all the pain he had caused her.

“Uncle! Will she be alright?” asked Kili frantically.

Thorin realised that the others had surrounded he and Bella, looks of shock and worry etched on all their faces at Bella’s reaction to finding them in her home and it stirred him into action.

Now was not the time to dwell on his own pain; he had to ensure Bella was well.

Holding her limp body tightly against his own, he turned towards her bed chamber. “Fili, run down to Primula’s smial and ask her to come as quickly as possible. Hurry!”

“I’ll put some tea on, for when she wakes,” said Ori, rushing out of the room.

Bofur picked up Bella’s bag and carried it behind Thorin, depositing it on the floor near her bed, as Thorin gently laid her down onto it, pulling the covers up to keep her warm. He couldn’t help lightly brushing the soft skin of her cheek, marvelling once again at its silkiness. He could hear the others shuffling their feet near the door as they stared at the unconscious hobbit in apprehension.

“Leave us,” he ordered. “Send Primula in when she arrives.”

The dwarves obeyed his command at once and left the room, shutting it behind them. Once alone, he took her hand in his and gently caressed her fingers. “I’m so sorry, my love,” he whispered croakily, willing himself not to break down. “So sorry for all the pain I caused you. I would give all the gold in Erebor to erase what I did but that cannot be. I promise you, my heart, that I will earn your trust once more. That you will know that you never have to fear me for I would sooner cut out my own heart than hurt you again. I will do anything to win your love back. Anything.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers reverently before pressing them to his cheek, his eyes closing at the feel of her skin against his.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t hear the door open at first - dwarf hinges were very quiet – so he didn’t see the speculative gaze that Primula cast over him as she entered the room, her own mind whirring with the confirmation of what she had suspected from the first. Thorin Oakenshield felt so much more than friendship for her cousin. That initial glimpse of his face told her all she needed to know. The dwarf king was deeply in love with Bella.

Why else would he have travelled all this way just to visit a friend? He was a king with many responsibilities, not just a common person who could do as he pleased and she doubted that he could easily leave his kingdom just like that. And then to stay all these months just to wait for her return? Someone in his position? No, she had suspected something like this from the moment he decided to stay.

Drogo had scoffed at her musings, saying that the King of Erebor would not choose to love a simple hobbit, no matter how brave he thought her. Choose? Primula doubted there was any choice in the matter, at least not for him. What she didn’t know was if Bella returned these sentiments. Her few letters from all those months ago did not give much away as to her feelings for Thorin. Though, judging by her unconscious cousin lying on the bed, they were enough to cause this reaction.

She cleared her throat softly and watched Thorin’s head jerk up and let go of Bella’s hand. If the room hadn’t been so dim, she would have sworn that she saw the dwarf king blush.

“What happened?” she asked, as she hurried over to the bed and placed her hand on Bella’s forehead. It was cool to the touch, which was a relief.

“I did not anticipate the distress our presence would cause her,” he replied gruffly, his eyes not leaving Bella’s face. “She was greatly upset, to the point that she fainted and has not woken yet.”

“Well, she doesn’t appear in any pain. Her skin is cool, if a little clammy, but nothing too worrying. I think we should leave her to rest.” She looked up at Thorin and could see the intense worry in his eyes. “She’ll be well, my lord.”

He nodded briefly in response. Perhaps it would be best if he and his company left Bag End. He did not want to cause Bella even more distress when she woke. He would attempt to speak to her tomorrow, when she was calmer and the shock of his appearance had worn off slightly. He had known it would be difficult to earn her regard again but now he was faced with the reality of the enormity of the task before him.

Then he mentally squared his shoulders. He had overcome enormous problems before: losing his home; struggling to keep himself and his people fed, sheltered and safe; reclaiming their kingdom, and he had succeeded. Not without much suffering and loss, but that had made him stronger and the person he was now, with all his faults. And there were many, by his own admission. Stubbornness being but one. It was this stubbornness that would push him to win Bella back. He would not give up unless Bella made it absolutely clear that she no longer wanted him and he could see in her eyes that she meant it. Only then, would he admit defeat, for her happiness was more important than his. He prayed to Mahal, and all the Valar that would listen, to help him in the most important task he had ever faced.

“My men and I will leave so that Bella is not further distressed when she wakes,” he told Primula.

“Are you sure? Where will you go? I would have you come to my home, but I doubt you will all fit comfortably,” replied Primula.

“Thank you for the offer,” said Thorin. “We would not impose on you or your good husband. We will go the Green Dragon and take lodgings there. Otherwise, we will go to the forge. It has a couple of rooms attached to it that will suffice. We have slept in far worse places.”

“Don’t you want to wait until she wakes?”

Thorin shook his head sadly. “No, it’s best to go. I will come back when she is more prepared to see me.”

“What happened between you, my lord? I thought you were friends.” Primula wondered if she would anger him with her questions but he just sighed.

“Too much to tell you tonight. Will you stay with her? I don’t want her to wake up alone,” he asked.

“Of course I will. I’ll take care of her.”

“Thank you. I’ll inform the others and we’ll go.” With a last longing look at Bella, he turned to leave.

“Whatever happened, my lord, I’m sure it can be fixed,” said Primula quietly. “Bella could never hold a grudge, except towards Lobelia, of course, and I can tell that you love her greatly.”

Thorin’s head turned sharply back towards her. “Is it that obvious?”

“Only when you look at her,” came the reply. “There’s no hiding it then.”

With a sharp nod, he left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your terrific response to the last chapter. I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was never going to be easy for Thorin - he's got some serious grovelling to do!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this took so long to get out - it honestly was like performing dental surgery on Smaug - nearly impossible! Discovering Richard Armitage as John Thornton and Sir Guy of Gisbourne didn't help - my brain pretty much turns to mush when I see those tight leather pants :)

The first face Bella saw when she finally awoke was that of her cousin, Primula. It took her hazy brain a few moments to work out exactly where she was and then the memory of her entrance to Bag End, her absolute shock at seeing Thorin in her home flooded back, making her gasp aloud.

Thorin was in Hobbiton! Was he still in her house? She looked at her cousin with panicked eyes. “Is he still here?” She didn’t think she could cope with seeing him again at the moment.

“Shh, Bella. It’s alright. Thorin has gone with the others to find lodgings,” soothed Primula, taking hold of Bella’s hand. “He didn’t want to distress you any further.”

The grimace she gave was a mixture of relief and embarrassment at her own behaviour. Screaming and losing control like that! What was she? A lowly tavern wench?

Her astonishment at seeing the one person she never thought she would ever see again in her very own home had been one thing, but the moment he reached out towards her, her mind had raced back to their last encounter together and all the terror and pain of having his hands around her neck, hateful words spewing from his mouth, came rushing back and nothing could have stopped her flinching in terror from his touch. She vaguely remembered her seeming inability to breathe and then nothing after that.

Why was he here? Was it simply to punish her further for giving the Arkenstone to Bard? Was he really that vindictive?

Any pleasure at returning to her home after so long was completely gone. All her hard won serenity was shown to be nothing more than a sham to convince herself that she could happily continue living her life without the man she loved. One look at him, just that one look, and all the emotions she had supposedly dammed up within her heart had burst forth.

She still loved him but her reaction when he reached for her showed her that she was afraid of him as well. She didn’t know his intentions so she had no idea if her fears were justified. Part of her argued that Thorin wouldn’t hurt her again, now that he was free of the gold-sickness, if indeed he was free of it, but another part was wary. What was there to stop him doing it again? He had crossed a line when he physically attacked her and they couldn’t go back. It would always be there between them.

Head starting to throb from her confused thoughts, she finally took in her surroundings and her eyes landed on the sweet face of her cousin’s wife. Two years away hadn’t done much to alter Primula, except maybe having a deeper look of contentment about her. She and Drogo had not been married long when Bella left but Bella could see she was happy.

“Primula?” Bella croaked as she struggled to sit up.

Primula gave her a hand before hugging her tightly. “Bella! Oh, it’s so good to see you! We’ve missed you so much!” Bella couldn’t help letting a couple of tears slip as they embraced.

“I’ve missed you too, Prim. And Drogo too.” It occurred to her that it must be quite late. “Why are you here and not at home with your husband?”

Letting go, Primula gazed at Bella’s face, taking note of the subtle changes that her experiences had wrought. Slightly thinner but essentially the same, it was Bella’s eyes that told the story. Weary, sad and just a little harder. Those eyes had seen things that Primula could never comprehend and they lacked the innocence that most hobbits wore like an invisible cloak, despite their age. How much that had to do with Thorin Oakenshield, she was yet to discover.

“Thorin sent for me when you collapsed. He didn’t want you to be alone when you woke.”

Bella pondered over that answer. It didn’t sound like the actions of someone who wanted to hurt her but she was too confused now to think on it too much. “I’m sorry for being such a nuisance.” She moved to get off the bed but Primula stopped her.

“Don’t be silly. I’m just so glad to see you home safe and well. You’re probably tired from all that travel, so just rest and I’ll go make us a cup of tea. Then, if you’re up to it, we can have a chat.”

Bella knew that ‘chat’ would consist mainly of questions about Thorin and his presence in the Shire. She also knew Primula was no fool and was wondering about their relationship and what had caused her to have such a strong reaction to seeing him again. She could plead tiredness but she didn’t think she’d be able to put Primula off for long.

Making herself more comfortable she sat back and then took a good look at her bedroom. She had expected it to be dusty and have an air of disuse about it but it was quite the opposite. The wooden surfaces shone in the candlelight and everything was in its place. Brow furrowed, she looked down and for the first time noticed that the coverlet she lay on was different. It was still a deep maroon colour but it looked new, the velvet material soft and plush under her fingers. The pattern was also subtly different. The coverlet she owned was slightly faded with age and use and parts of it were looking a little threadbare. Why would there be a new coverlet on her bed? Maybe Primula had replaced it? She also noticed that the curtains on the four-poster bed were also new and perfectly matched the coverlet. She would ask Prim as soon as she returned with her tea.

After Primula made herself comfortable, Bella decided to take the initiative, if only to try and deflect any questions.

“How long has Thorin been in my house?” asked Bella.

“Just over three months.” Bella spat out her tea in shock.

“Three months?” Her mind was reeling. Three months! For some reason she had thought he’d only arrived recently but that didn’t seem to be the case. What about Erebor? Who was looking after it?

Only now was she coming to realise that Thorin hadn’t been alone in Bag End. The shock of his presence had narrowed her focus on him, but now she was aware that some of the other Company were there as well.

“Yes, he arrived just before winter set in,” replied Primula.

“Who’s with him? I didn’t really take note earlier,” she asked, a little wryly.

“Well, there’s Bofur, Dwalin and Ori and also Fili and Kili.” So Fili wasn’t in charge of Erebor then? The only dwarf Bella could picture Thorin trusting with his kingdom would be Balin.

“And what? Did he just show up and take over Bag End?” she asked sarcastically.

“Well…somewhat, yes,” came the reply. “He turned up one night, found the Sackville-Bagginses in your house, threw them out and set out to wait for your return.” Bella was shaking her head in confusion.

“The Sackville-Bagginses? What were they doing here?”

Primula proceeded to tell Bella of Lobelia’s actions while she was gone, and Bella was hard pressed not to go and run Lobelia through with her sword and give the Thain a piece of her mind. Then she learned how Thorin had thoroughly put both in their places and proceeded to repair the damage and neglect Lobelia’s occupation had caused.

“I wish I had been here to see Lobelia’s face when Thorin arrived,” giggled Primula. “He can be scary at times.”

Oh, how she knew that first hand. “And he’s been living here since?” she asked.

Primula nodded. “Oh yes. The place was a mess and Thorin made sure it was all put to rights before you returned. He even had your bed furnishings replaced. Ori told me that Thorin was outraged to find that Lobelia and Otho had been using your bedroom. They had thrown all your clothes into a cupboard and completely took over. The dwarves stripped the room, replaced your things and Thorin had new furnishings made so their presence would not linger in here.”

Bella sat open mouthed at these revelations. Did Thorin sleep here? She felt her pulse quicken at the thought of it, much to her annoyance.

“The dwarves took over your spare bedrooms. Thorin wouldn’t let anyone in here once it was put to rights and he used the other room to sleep in. They did all the initial cleaning themselves but since Thorin’s been doing smithying work in the village, the housekeeping is being done by the villagers in lieu of payment. Much of the cooking too, when I think about it,” mused Primula.

“Wait a moment,” interrupted Bella. “Thorin is working as a blacksmith?” She was starting to think that she hadn’t woken from her faint and that this whole, bizarre conversation was a figment of her imagination. Thorin coming all the way from Erebor, repairing her house, working in Hobbiton. It had to be her delirious mind fooling her.

“And what a fine one he is,” remarked Primula. “His skill is amazing and the farmers and gardeners can’t get enough of his work. He wanted to replace and repair a lot of your metal fittings so he asked me if there was a forge in the village. You know that old Tosco’s forge had been unused since his death, so Thorin took it over. Once he’d fixed everything he possibly could here, he began taking commissions. He refused at first, but changed his mind when he became a little bored. He wouldn’t allow anyone to pay him, so instead the villagers provide them with food and supplies and keep Bag End clean for the dwarves. Hamfast has been working hard to get your garden back to what it was before you left, especially after Thorin made him a new shovel, fork and wheelbarrow. They’re his pride and joy now,” chuckled Primula.

This was becoming too much to take in and she could feel the weariness creeping up on her. Primula seemed to recognise it and stopped talking, taking Bella’s hand in hers instead.

“I’m sorry. It’s probably all a little overwhelming at the moment, isn’t it?” she said gently. “I think you should get a good night’s rest and I can fill you in on what’s been happening tomorrow. Things always look clearer in the bright light of day, don’t they?”

Bella nodded and smiled gratefully at her cousin. “Thank you for being here, Prim. I feel silly for reacting the way I did but I have my reasons.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“How much do you know about Thorin and I?” Bella asked a little warily.

“Nothing,” replied her cousin.  At Bella’s surprised look, she continued. “Does Thorin look like the type of person who likes to gossip?”

Bella couldn’t help the bark of laughter that left her at the absurd image of Thorin sitting down with the ladies and a cup of tea whilst gossiping about the village scandals.  “No, that he most certainly is not.”

With a giggle, Primula stood up and prepared to take her leave, after Bella had assured her that she would be fine alone in her home. In fact, she needed the time alone, along with sleep. Tomorrow, she would start trying to unravel the threads of her chaotic thoughts and feelings.

As Primula left, she stopped in the doorway and looked at her cousin. “Bel, I don’t know what happened between you and Thorin, but I do know one thing. And it was only confirmed to me tonight.” At Bella’s puzzled gaze, she continued softly. “I know that Thorin loves you deeply and I suspect you love him too.”

With that she whispered goodnight and left Bella to her own devices. Too tired to do much else, even eat, Bella prepared for bed, trying to imagine Thorin in here, setting things to rights after Lobelia’s occupation. As she got into her bed, she noticed that the sheets were made from the finest cotton, certainly of higher quality than she normally used. Thorin would have spent a tidy sum to purchase these. Unable to help herself, she rubbed her cheek on the soft material and gave a small sigh of pleasure.

As she drifted off to sleep, Primula’s words kept echoing in her head – “Thorin loves you deeply.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Instead of heading for the Green Dragon, Thorin led his company to the forge. He was in no mood to talk to anyone tonight, or deal with speculation as to why he was no longer at Bag End.

Fili and Kili followed behind their uncle, talking in whispers. None of them were game to speak to Thorin at the moment, the bleak look on his face a warning to them all.

“Poor uncle,” whispered Fili. “That went worse than I thought it would.”

“Poor Bella,” replied Kili, equally softly. “I was really scared when she fainted. I figured she’d be surprised, and probably mad at uncle, but I didn’t think she’d be hysterical.”

“Uncle will have an even harder time getting her to forgive him than he expected and he knows it. Look at his face. It’s almost like it was when he woke from his injuries after the battle. When he thought he’d lost her forever,” said Fili, looking worriedly at Thorin.

“Maybe we can ask to speak to her,” suggested Kili. “She’s not mad at us. We can try to put in a good word for uncle.”

“It can’t hurt, I suppose,” agreed Fili.

It didn’t take all that long to get to the forge, where Dwalin immediately stoked the fire to bring some warmth to the room. Towards the back of the forge, there was a corridor that led to the living quarters of the old hobbit that had previously occupied it. It was only basic, with a small kitchen area and two rooms that could either serve as bedrooms or as a sitting room. There was no bathroom, as the previous smith used to drag a metal tub into the kitchen to have his bath and the toilet was located outside in a separate outbuilding.

“Not exactly to the same standard as Bag End, I dare say,” quipped Bofur as his cousin began to clear out the small fireplace in the kitchen. It obviously hadn’t been touched in many years, Thorin only using the forge area and not venturing into these rooms, so there was a build up of ashes and leaves that had fallen down the chimney.

“Still better than sleeping out in the open on a cold night like tonight,” muttered Dwalin.

“Aye, that it is,” agreed Bofur.

As they all set about making the place habitable, they threw each other worried looks. Thorin had not wandered into the back rooms at all. Instead, he had stayed in the forge, away from the others, not saying a word. He was sitting at the only window in the room, staring out into the darkness when his nephew found him.

“Uncle?” said Kili nervously. Only the blinking of Thorin’s eyes indicated that he had even heard him speak. “We’ve set up your bed roll for you if you want to rest.” No response. “Fili and I are in the one room with you and the others are in the next room. You can have the bed. Fili and I are fine on the floor.”

It seemed to take ages before Thorin said anything and then it was only to say that he was fine where he was. “You or Fili take the bed.” He didn’t think he could sleep even if wanted to. He turned back to the window, effectively dismissing his nephew.

Kili looked at the dejected figure of his uncle and wished there was something he could do. “I…I’m sure that Bella will forgive you, uncle. She was…she was just surprised, that’s all.”

Thorin gave a small, unconvincing nod. “Get some sleep,” he commanded.

“How was he?” asked Fili when Kili re-entered the kitchen.

“Not good,” was the reply. “He’s just staring out the window.”

“Let him be, lads,” said Dwalin. “He just needs to be alone for a while. Bella’s reaction to seeing him was a blow.”

“What did he think was going to happen?” asked Bofur dryly. “That she’d squeal with pleasure and throw herself into his arms? I think we all knew, especially him, that wasn’t going to happen.”

“Aye, he didn’t, but I don’t think he expected such a violent reaction from her. Have to say it even shocked me,” replied Dwalin. They all nodded in agreement.

“Things will be better tomorrow,” said Ori quietly. “Once she’s calmed down, maybe she’ll agree to see him and they can talk.”

There was silence for a while before Fili spoke up. “She was afraid of him.” The others looked at him, acknowledgement in their eyes. “She thought he was going to hurt her again.”

They all knew that Thorin would never hurt Bella again like that – they had all seen the terrible toll the guilt from his actions had taken on him – but how Bella was to be convinced of that, none of them knew.

“Poor uncle,” repeated Kili sadly.

Thorin sat at the forge window, gazing outside with unseeing eyes as he replayed the scene in Bella’s house over and over again.

How did he even begin to repair the damage he had done?

He kept seeing Bella flinch in terror at the mere suggestion of his touch. Her face becoming deathly white, her eyes widened in fear and that whimper. Oh Mahal, that whimper! Not even on their quest, with all the dangers they encountered and the enemies they’d fought, had he heard her whimper like that. It was a sound of pure, instinctive terror and he couldn’t seem to get it out of his head.

How was he to reassure her that she would never have to fear his laying a finger on her in anger again? How was he to get past the hatred that she must surely feel for him? A hatred that was fully deserved?

With his head leaning on the cold glass, he didn’t prevent the single tear that ran down his cheek as he thought about Bella.

She was still the most beautiful creature he had ever beheld. Nothing could ever change that. He noticed that she had filled out again during their time apart. Not to the same extent as when they first met, but she was no longer unnaturally thin for a hobbit. Her cheeks weren’t hollow anymore from all the travel and insufficient food as well as all the worry and danger. They had looked smooth and creamy and he wanted nothing more than to nuzzle his lips against them again as he whispered words of adoration.

Her time in Rivendell must have done her much good as her hair was longer than he recalled, thick and glossy, despite her long journey back home. It had taken all the strength he possessed not to bury his fingers in her honey coloured tresses as he kissed her sweet lips, knowing it would be wrong.

When she had been lying on the bed, his eyes had strayed over her body, covered in her usual travelling garb of pants and coat. Though modestly covered, his mind had returned to her bedroom in Lake Town and the way their bodies had moved together seamlessly, the silkiness of her skin making him shiver with jolts of pleasure wherever they touched. He recalled every indent, scar and freckle on her pale body and he cursed himself again for ever touching it in anger and rage.

If she gave him another chance, her body would be his shrine and he’d lavish it with so much love, affection, desire and care that she would never look at him in fear again.

How to get that chance, though?

With all the thoughts whirling around his head, the cold night wore on until the first rays of light began threading themselves through the dark sky, though he did not notice it. It was only when Dwalin’s hand on his shoulder startled him back to awareness that he realised that the night had gone.

“Get some sleep, Thorin,” he said gruffly. “You’ll be in no state to talk to her like this.”

Nodding, knowing his friend was right, Thorin made his way to the living quarters, wordlessly passing the other dwarves who were making preparations to head down to the markets to get supplies and lay down on the unoccupied bed, which was still warm from one of his nephew’s bodies, promptly falling into a dreamless sleep.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Fili, Kili, Bofur and Ori made their way down to the marketplace that was slowly coming to life. They could smell the bread baking at the baker’s and their mouths watered. They hadn’t eaten since dinner in Bag End the night before and with nothing edible in the forge, they were ravenous.

They returned the greetings of the hobbits that were already there, as well as the stall holders and set about purchasing food. Once the hobbits realised that the dwarves were no longer at Bag End, the food they received for Thorin’s work would keep the pantry full but as yet, no one knew Bella was back.

Kili noticed Bofur looking around and couldn’t help teasing him. “A bit too early for your little meeting with a certain hobbit lass, don’t you think?”

Bofur shoved the young prince’s shoulder in retaliation. “There’re no meetings. I can’t help it if Poppy comes down the markets most days and I happen to be there. Pure co-incidence.”

“Co-incidence my foot,” retorted Kili. “Go on, admit it, you’ve got a crush on her.”

“What about you? I rarely see you without a harem of lasses following you around.”

“Can’t help it if they find me attractive,” smirked Kili. “After all, there is a lot to admire about me.”

The bantering continued as they prepared to return to the forge, loaded with enough food for a few days, when they encountered Primula, who was on her way to pick up some supplies before going to check on Bella.

“Prim!” called out Fili.

The hobbit smiled at the dwarves. “Hello, boys. Where did you sleep last night? Did you get rooms at the Green Dragon?”

“No, we went to the forge and slept there. That’s why we’ve come down to get some food. We may be there a while, from the looks of things,” replied Fili, with a shrug.

“How’s Bella?” asked Ori.

Primula looked at their worried faces and gave them a reassuring smile. They really were terribly fond of her cousin. “She’s fine. At least she was last night. She was shaken up, as you know, but I think a good night’s sleep will have helped enormously. I’m getting my groceries early so I can go and check on her when she wakes.”

“We were worried about her,” said Kili.

“I know. How is Thorin?” she asked.

“He didn’t sleep at all last night,” replied Bofur. “Dwalin managed to convince him to get some rest this morning.”

“He’s really upset,” added Kili.

“Do you think Bella would see him?” asked Fili.

Primula grimaced a little. “I don’t know. Bella wasn’t in the right frame of mind to really tell me anything last night. I’m hoping after a good sleep and a filling breakfast, that we can really talk.”

“Could you ask her if she’ll talk to Thorin?” said Fili.

“Very well.”

“Would you ask her if we can come and see her?” asked Ori shyly. “We’ve missed her.”

Primula smiled a the sweet, young dwarf. “I shall certainly ask her.” She then looked at all of them.

“I don’t know anything of what’s happened between Bella and Thorin but I know he loves her. It was very obvious to me. Was whatever happened that bad?” she asked.

The dwarves looked at each other, uncertain of how much to say. “I think you would be best getting the story from Bella, but yes, it was quite bad. Uncle did something very wrong but he deeply regrets it,” replied Fili solemnly.

“He’s been so miserable,” added Kili. “He misses her badly.”

“He wants to make it up to her,” said Bofur. “But, after last night’s reaction, it’s going to be harder than we thought.”

Primula sighed. “Well, until I know the whole story, I can’t give a proper opinion. As I said, I’m going to Bella’s after I finish here. How about you come to my smial this afternoon? I will give you Bella’s answer then.”

The dwarves nodded their agreement. It was a start.

“I must say though, if things between them are as bad as it sounds, Thorin may need all the help he can get.”

“You wouldn’t be wrong about that, lass,” nodded Bofur.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * T

he sun was high in the morning sky when Bella awoke from her disturbed sleep. Several times during the night, her tossing and turning had woken her up, a result of the dreams that plagued her. They ranged from terrifying to delicious, and she didn’t know which type was the most distressing. It was only near dawn that she had finally fallen into a restful slumber.

She quickly got out of bed and got dressed. As she searched for something to wear in her closet, she felt a little agitated when she remembered that Thorin had been the one to put all her clothes back in their places. His hands had touched everything in here and she didn’t know how to feel about that. With a small huff, she picked out the nearest dress she could grab.

It was time to inspect Bag End and see what Thorin had done to it.

As she had vaguely registered last night, before her hysterical outburst, her home was in an immaculate condition. Walking down the hallway towards the kitchen, she could see that all the wooden surfaces were spotless and everything was neat, tidy and in its place.

It was as if no-one had been here at all, much less six dwarves.

Bella couldn’t help wonder how much of the actual work was done by the dwarves or by the villagers in exchange for Thorin’s smithying skills.

In the kitchen, she noticed that the hob over the fireplace was new. Her old one had been showing signs of its age and she had been putting off getting it replaced for as long possible. As she inspected it, she could see Thorin’s skill even in such a mundane item. She noticed her pots were all gleaming from being so new and Thorin had inscribed dwarven decorations on the handles.

Going from room to room, Bella opened and shut doors, cupboards and windows and there was not a squeak to be heard. She couldn’t help but be impressed by his skill.

All throughout her inspection, Primula’s words of last night, about how he loved her still, kept echoing in her head and it made her angry again.

Why did he have to be here and mess up her new-found peace? The Shire was going to be her refuge, if somewhat reluctantly, but now there was nowhere that she could escape the memories. Even the stupid pots would remind her of Thorin.

She noticed that the dwarves had left none of their possessions behind and didn’t know whether to feel relieved or disappointed. Would Thorin try to speak with her or had her reaction to his presence convinced him that she didn’t want him here?

Did she even _want_ to speak with him? Could she be in the same room as him without losing her composure?

In the cold light of day, she reasoned that he had no intention of harming her when he moved towards her, but it had been an instinctive reaction on her part. What if it happened again? Did she want to feel that fear again?

Bella sat down on one of her chairs and put her head in her hands in despair and confusion. Her emotions and thoughts were so jumbled and chaotic. She was furious with him but she wasn’t. She wanted to see him but she didn’t. She wanted to touch him but she was afraid of him. She wanted him to go but she wanted him to stay. She wanted to speak with him but she couldn’t.

That was how Primula found her when she let herself into Bella’s house, loaded with food to make breakfast.

Primula shook her head at the picture of despair and confusion that her cousin presented. Quietly, so as to not startle her, Primula deposited the food in the kitchen and put the kettle on to boil.

Placing a steaming cup of tea on the table nearby, Primula knelt down in front of her cousin and gently stroked her hair. Bella jumped a little at the unexpected contact and Primula could see that her eyes were red.

“Bella, dear, I’ve brought you some tea. I want you drink it while I make you some breakfast and, after that, I think we need to talk.”

“Thank you,” croaked Bella, nodding before looking at her cousin. “Prim, I’m so confused,” she whispered plaintively, her eyes watering.

Primula sighed and wrapped her arms around Bella, trying to give her what comfort she could. “I can imagine, dear one. It will all work out for the best. I truly believe that. I’ll do what I can to help you sort out your muddled thoughts, alright?”

Bella nodded.

“Very well,” smiled Primula. “Now, you drink that tea, then you’ll eat, and then we will sit down and talk. No good decision was ever made on an empty stomach, was there?”

Not by a hobbit, anyway.


	20. Chapter 20

Once again, Bella related what had happened between herself and Thorin, ignoring her cousin’s gasp when she came to the part where Thorin nearly killed her.  Telling that tale did not get any easier, no matter how much time had passed and she wasn’t surprised to find herself in tears once again, Primula’s arms around her in comfort.

“Oh you poor, poor thing,” soothed Primula.

Bella went on to tell her about the journey back and her decision to stay in Rivendell for an extended time.

“I needed to find some peace.  I still missed Thorin so much but I knew I had to come to some sort of terms with what had happened and learn to move forward with my life.  Also, I couldn’t bear the thought of returning home and knowing that everyone was whispering about me and speculating on what I had done.  I was still too raw.”

She looked up and wiped her eyes, grateful for the handkerchief Primula gave her.  “And I truly believed it had worked, Prim.  I could think of Thorin without wanting to rip my heart out, trying to put it behind me, the good and the bad.  Sometimes, I would go a whole day without thinking about him.  I believed that eventually would extend until he did truly just become a faded memory and that the hurt in my heart would heal, leaving only a faint scar.”

Agitated and unable to sit still any longer, Bella stood and paced the room, her hands wringing the handkerchief to within an inch of its life.  “All that time, Prim.  All that time that it took me just to get that far and one look at him, and it was for nothing.  As if I was still standing on that battlement and he was looking at me with hatred, and me loving him despite everything.” 

She leaned her forehead against the mantelpiece.  “I forced myself to accept that I would never look upon him again.  My traitorous heart kept hoping that someday we may meet again, but I ruthlessly pushed it aside, refusing to let hope take hold.  I could not afford to let hope in; it hurt too much.  What use was hope when the reality was that he thought I was a traitor and I still had nightmares of his hands around my neck?   I told myself that I would shed no more tears, even though I knew I was lying to myself.”  She took a shuddering breath and looked at her cousin.  “I lied to myself but it got me through each day, Prim.  It wasn’t much, but it stopped me from wishing he had succeeded in killing me,” she whispered.

“Oh Bella,” cried Primula as she went to stand up, but Bella’s hand stopped her.

“And now, I don’t know what to do,” she continued.  “I didn’t, even in all my most secret hopes and dreams, imagine that he would be here, in the Shire, in my home.  You don’t understand, Prim.  Dwarves don’t just leave their mountains, especially when he suffered so much to get his home back.  I would sooner believe that hobbits took up mining as a hobby if you had suggested that Thorin had left his kingdom to come here.”

Bella took a sip of the now cold tea, taking a moment to compose herself.  “And for that first instant, before my mind truly registered that Thorin was in front of me, my heart soared in excruciating joy at the sight of him.  In that moment, everything ceased to matter except that my beloved had returned to me.   I would have forgiven him anything, and begged for his forgiveness if he would only hold me again.”  She closed her eyes and took a shuddering breath.  “And then, this deep well of fury just seemed to explode from me.  I still can’t believe that I acted as I did.  I just couldn’t control it, Prim.  It was as if all the pain and suffering I had felt from that moment on the mountain spewed forth and I was shrieking like a mad person.”

“Bella,” interrupted Primula.  “It was totally understandable.  I doubt I would have acted much differently if I had been taken totally by surprise like that, especially after all you went through.”

“Would you?  I doubt it, Prim.  I, myself, would never have acted in that way before all this happened.”

“But you have been through something none of us will ever experience.  Of course it has changed you.  I could see it last night.  You’re not the same Bella we knew.”

Bella frowned as she looked at her cousin.  “You could?  How?”

“Something in your eyes,” she explained.  “You seem older.  Wiser, maybe, and a little harder.  Somehow, you remind me a bit of Thorin.”

Bella’s eyebrows shot up at that comment.   “How so?”

Primula shrugged her shoulders.  “It’s hard to explain.  You both just seem … world-weary…sad, if you will.  I didn’t know why before but now that I do, I can see it in both your eyes.  I don’t think you’re the only one who’s been changed by this experience.”

Sitting down, Bella looked down at her hands as she thought about Primula’s words.  “I don’t suppose I am,” she agreed slowly.  “I can’t see how it couldn’t change a person.”  She looked up at her cousin.  “But Prim, that doesn’t change the fact that when he reached for me, I fainted from fear.  It was instinctive.  And then there’s the anger I feel.”

“Why are you angry?”

“Because he wasn’t supposed to be here!  I was never supposed to see him again!  I spent so much time trying to convince myself of this, so many tears shed, so much time on my own trying to find acceptance.  And now it’s gone and it all just seems to have been such a waste of time.  He’s ruined any sort of peace I had found and I feel furious about that.  Now, when he goes, as he inevitably will, I won’t ever find it again and will never be able to escape the memories.  Look at this house – it’s now full of him.  How am I to escape it?” she cried.

“What if he doesn’t leave?” asked Primula.

“Of course he’ll leave!” retorted Bella.  “He’s a king, for Aule’s sake!  He’s got a kingdom to run, a kingdom he spent decades yearning for and nearly died for in order to reclaim.  Of course he’s going to go back.”

“What if he were to ask you to return with him?

Bella slumped in her seat, her face tormented.  “He wouldn’t.”

“How do you know that?  He’s come all this way, leaving his kingdom, as you say, and you don’t think it was to get you back?”

“I don’t know.  I don’t know,” Bella groaned.  “I don’t know what to think.”

“He’s been here months, Bella.  Waiting for you.  He’s made himself part of this community.  He wouldn’t do that if he didn’t still care for you,” Primula pointed out.

“I…I just…I just don’t know what to do,” she moaned. 

“Why don’t you talk to him?  Hear what he has to say?” Primula suggested. 

“I…I don’t…I don’t know that I can, Prim.  I’m so torn.  I want to speak to him but I’m afraid of my reaction to being in the same room as him.  What if I feel the same fear?”

“Are you really afraid of him?”

Bella thought for a moment before answering.  “My head tells me that he wouldn’t do it again.  Despite what he did, Prim, dwarves don’t hurt their females.  My logic tells me he wasn’t himself when he acted that way, that it was the gold-sickness, but my instinctive reaction is to be afraid.”

“That may be because it was the last thing he did when you were together.  Perhaps talking to him will help ease that fear, if, as you say, his behaviour that day was uncharacteristic of him.”

“And what if I can’t bring myself to trust him not to hurt me like that ever again?  What kind of relationship would that be?”

“But how will you know if you can learn to trust him again if you will not talk to him or give him the chance to earn your trust again?” asked Primula.

“I know,” she sighed

“If he asked, would you allow him to come here and speak to you?”

Bella shook her head. “No, not yet.  I’m not ready to face him.”

“Not even to hear what he has to say?”

“I…I can’t, Prim.  This has all been too much of a shock.  I couldn’t get two thoughts together at the moment.”

Primula sighed.  “It’s your decision, of course.”  She didn’t want to upset Bella further but she had promised the dwarves she’d ask.  “I ran into Kili and the others this morning.  They asked if they could visit you.”

“Which others?” asked Bella, thinking that if Thorin was included in that number, she’d have to refuse.

“Fili, Ori and Bofur.  They were buying supplies.  They’re staying at the forge.”

“With Thorin?”

“I presume so,” she replied. 

Bella thought about the dwarves and felt a sense of longing to see her friends.  She had missed them too, and she really had no quarrel with them.

“Very well, tell them I’ll see them tomorrow.  I need to settle myself before they come.”  At Primula’s nod, she added.  “But not Thorin.  I…I can’t…”

“I’ll tell them, Bella.  I’m sure they won’t want to upset you further.”

Bella wished she had the same confidence.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The four dwarves stood outside Bella’s gate, all feeling slightly nervous.

“Now, we don’t want to upset her so maybe we shouldn’t mention Thorin?” said Bofur.

“But isn’t that why we’re here?” asked Kili.

“We should wait to see what kind of mood she’s in before bringing uncle’s name up?” suggested Fili.

“What if she gets hysterical again?” asked Ori.

“But that was only because uncle was there.  He’s not now, so surely just his name won’t make her faint?” replied Kili sceptically.

“We don’t know that,” replied Ori.

“We’re here to see if we can get her to talk to uncle as well as for ourselves, so we have to try,” asserted Kili as he thought of his uncle back at the forge.

When Thorin had awoken after only a few hours, he had only eaten a few bites of the food prepared by Bifur and returned to the furnace and went back to work on the farmer’s implement that he had been working on before.  He barely said a word; instead, the evidence of his emotions was in the ferocity with which he wielded the hammer and tongs, the metal bending to his will. 

The others left him mostly to himself, knowing any attempt to coax him out of his mood would only result in their getting their heads bitten off.  It was only after Thorin managed to exhaust himself that he returned to the kitchen, ate some supper and made his way to the bedroom he was now sharing with his nephews.

Kili had tentatively broached the subject of their going to see Bella the next day with Thorin as they lay on their bedrolls.  He had felt so bad for his uncle when Primula had stipulated that Thorin was not to be included in the group visiting Bella.  Unfortunately, he couldn’t avoid telling Thorin that he couldn’t see her and there was no mistaking the look of dejection in his uncle’s eyes. 

“We’re going to ask if you can visit her, uncle,” promised Kili.

“Yes, and now that the initial shock is over, she’ll probably talk to you,” added Fili, trying to sound hopeful.

Thorin’s answer was to give them a doleful nod before turning over and going to sleep, or at least pretending to.

Bofur’s voice snapped Kili out of his thoughts.  “Now lads, let’s just go in there and see Bella.  We’ve all missed her.  We play the whole ‘Thorin’ business by ear, I say.”

“Well, _I’m_ going to bring it up before we leave.  I can’t stand seeing him like this,” stated Kili emphatically. 

With that, he opened the gate and marched up the steps, followed closely by the others.

When Bella opened the door to their nervous but smiling faces, she did not expect to be completely swamped by four overly affectionate dwarves but couldn’t help the sense of homecoming and happiness at being enfolded in her favourite people’s arms again and was unable to control the tears that sprang to her eyes.  Other than Thorin’s arms, being wrapped up in a dwarf hug was the most comforting thing she had ever experienced.

“Oh, my boys!” she cried as they all tried to shove each other aside to be the first to kiss her cheek.

“Bella!  It’s so good to see you!” cried Kili.

“We’ve missed you,” nodded Ori.

“You look very well,” said Fili.

“Aye, you’re a sight for sore eyes,” agreed Bofur.

Bella laughed as their words all intermingled, each trying to get her attention.  It was like being surrounded by a litter of over-enthusiastic puppies.

“Boys!  Boys!” she giggled as she tried to extricate herself from the group hug.  “You are going to squash me!”

Her words seemed to restore some sort of sense and they dropped their arms, stepping back with wide grins on their faces.  She looked at each one in turn, drinking in their dear, familiar faces.  With all her heartache over Thorin, she hadn’t truly appreciated just how much she had missed her boys, her family.

“Oh, you all look wonderful!  I’ve missed you, too.  I didn’t realise how much until I saw you.  Come into the kitchen.  I’ve prepared morning tea for us and you can tell me what you have been up to while we eat,” she said.

“You look beautiful,” said Ori shyly. 

Now that she was back she had taken to wearing her dresses again.  They were of the typical hobbit fashion with a blouse and corset over a full floral skirt.  She had her hair up in a ribbon and she looked younger than any of the dwarves could remember her looking.  When she thought about it, it was the first time they had ever seen her dressed like this.  She had been wearing her patchwork robe over her sleepwear when they had first shown up at Bag End all that time ago and since then, she had only ever worn trousers and a coat except for that brief time in Lake Town, when she borrowed a human child’s dress.

“Thank you, Ori.  That’s very sweet of you,” she replied and gave him a kiss on the cheek, hiding her smile as his face bloomed bright red at her action.

“He’s right,” agreed Fili.  “You look like a hobbit lass.”

“That’s because she _is_ a hobbit lass, you idiot,” replied Bofur.  Bella couldn’t help laughing at them.  They were adorable.

“What kind of a stupid comment was that?” asked Kili, glaring at his brother and giving him a shove.

Things were going to descend into the usual chaotic antics that had often occurred during their nights camping out on the quest and Bella didn’t fancy having any of her things broken by two wrestling dwarves.

“Fili! Kili!”  Her sharp tone stopped the brother’s in their tracks.  “I know what you meant and you should know me better than to think I would take offence.  Now, sit down and eat.”

Her tone reminded them of their mother’s and they instantly followed her orders, sitting down obediently and grabbing a couple of pieces of bread, the others following suit.

Once they all had something to eat and drink, Bella sat down and proceeded to question them on how they had fared after the battle.

Kili showed her the large scar on his arm but insisted that he was completely healed.  “We ran into a few orcs on the way here and I had no trouble fighting them off, even though uncle had been worried.”

The mention of Thorin caused an awkward silence before Bella asked another question, steering the conversation away from the topic which they all seemed to be determinedly avoiding.

They then told her what had been happening at the mountain and she couldn’t help but be impressed by all the work done in its restoration.  Of course, Thorin’s name couldn’t be avoided but she tried not to show any discomfort as Fili told her about all Thorin’s hard work in getting their kingdom working again. 

She couldn’t deny that she was both surprised and impressed, and not a little proud, at the working relationship Thorin seemed to have forged between himself, Thranduil and Bard.  Especially Thranduil. 

“Yes,” affirmed Kili.  “We don’t see the Mirkwood King all that much but there are elves running about all over the place planting trees and helping us restore the soil.  I think, by now, they should have reaped the first harvest since the dragon came.  It won’t be a large one, but it’s a start.  Uncle has appointed me to be the liaison with the elves as I seem to deal better with them.”

“That’s wonderful, Kili.  I’m sure you do an admirable job,” she praised.  “And you, Fili?  I suppose as heir, you are kept quite busy?”

Fili nodded in agreement.  “Yes, I am, but Thorin still takes on most of the responsibility.  Too much responsibility, if you ask me, but that’s only because he’s missing you so…”  Fili’s voice drifted off as he realised what he’d said.  His eyes darted around the table, seeing the bemused looks on the dwarves’ faces as well as the blush on Bella’s face as she looked down at her tea, seemingly absorbed by the few tea leaves that had escaped the strainer.

Fili cleared his throat uncomfortably and decided to press on, hoping to smooth over the awkward moment.  “So…yes, I’ve been made the liaison with the people of Dale.  We’ve worked very closely with Bard.  He’s a good man and he’ll be a good King for the people of Dale.”

“I’m so glad to hear it, Fili.  I know our initial meeting wasn’t the most pleasant but he did help us in the end.”  Then, because she just had to know, she asked the question.  “What...what happened with the Arkenstone?  Did Bard return it?”  Personally, she didn’t care if Bard used it as a paperweight, but it meant so much to Thorin, as she had found out, to her cost.

“Yes, he did,” answered Fili.  “He, Thorin and Thranduil met after uncle had recovered sufficiently and forged our current peace agreements.  Bard returned it to Thorin as he knew he wasn’t the rightful owner.  He and uncle have formed a sincere friendship since that time.  It was Bard that loaned us the ponies to travel here.”

Bella nodded, somewhat surprised.  The Thorin she knew would not have willingly become friends with a human, especially one whom he felt had wronged him.  “And is it now hanging over Thorin’s throne like he used to dream of doing?” 

The dwarves looked at each other, as if conferring on how much to say on the matter.  Bella didn’t miss the glances between them, wondering what was so difficult about the question.

Finally, Kili spoke up.  “Um…no.”

“Why not?” asked a perplexed Bella.  Other than reclaiming his home, wasn’t recovering the Arkenstone, the symbol of his right to rule, Thorin’s ultimate goal?  Wasn’t their love sacrificed for that piece of rock?

As only Thorin’s nephews knew the real reason why Thorin refused to have the Arkenstone re-mounted over the throne of Durin, Kili answered.  After all, he had been the one to ask his uncle this very question.

“He says it is because he is waiting for our people and kin to arrive from Ered Luin.  He wants it to be a celebration of our peoples’ return to their rightful home and that all should share in the significance of the occasion.”  Bella nodded, understanding Thorin’s thinking on this.  “The real reason, though, is that he cannot bear to look at it?” continued Kili.

Bella gasped at that statement.  Surely that could not be the case?  “Why ever not?  It was the most important thing to him.”

“That’s why,” said Fili.  “Because it reminds him of the pain he caused you.  Of how he placed more value on a gemstone than the person he loved.  When Bard returned it, it was placed in a vault, under guard, and uncle has not been near it since.”

“I think part of uncle hates the Arkenstone now,” agreed Kili.

Bella looked down at her hands, which were now shaking like a leaf as she tried to process this information.  It took all her effort not to cry in front of the boys and it was becoming a losing battle.  “Excuse me,” she muttered, standing up abruptly, leaving the kitchen and its stunned occupants staring after her.

In her bedroom, she sank down on her bed and took deep gulps of air as a few stray tears rolled down her cheek.  Why she was so upset at what the princes had told her, she couldn’t really say, but part of it was the acknowledgement of the utter futility of what Thorin had done to her, to them. 

If, after all that had happened, the Arkenstone was back in its rightful place in the Lonely Mountain, then at least something would have been achieved, even if it were to their enormous cost.  It would have given Bella the bitter satisfaction that _something_ had worked out, though she personally hated the rock.  Now though, she just felt cheated.  She had lost her love and almost her life, while he had almost lost his mind and the rotten thing currently just sat in a vault gathering dust.

What was it all for?  What was the point of it all?

With a cry of despair, she grabbed her pillows and threw them one by one, in a fit of temper, knocking over her brushes and the candles on her dresser.  “Argh!!”  When she ran out of pillows, she flopped back on her bed, covering her face as she tried to regain control of herself.  Twice in three days!  Look what that dwarf had done to her!

A tentative knock on her door brought her back to her senses.  “Bella?” she could hear Ori’s shy, worried voice calling out to her.  “Are…you alright?”

Taking a deep breath, she composed herself and opened the door.  The young dwarf was wringing the ends of his knitted scarf, his eyes huge as he tried to assess whether there was any injury on her.  With a reassuring smile, Bella reached out and gently patted his arm.  “I’m fine, Ori.  Truly.”

“We heard a crash.”

“I accidentally bumped my dresser and knocked over the candles.  It’s nothing,” she replied.

“I…I’m sorry we upset you.”

“You didn’t upset me, Ori.  I was just a little surprised, that’s all.  Come on, let’s see if there is still any hot water left for another cup of tea.” 

The other three dwarves looked relieved when Bella re-entered the kitchen and didn’t seem to have any physical injuries on her person. 

“I’m sorry,” mumbled Kili.  “We shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, it’s not your fault.  I did ask, after all.  It was silly of me to react like that.  It’s not really important,” she lied.  Their doubtful faces told her that none of them believed it so she changed the subject.

“So, Bofur, tell me what you’ve been up to here in the Shire?”

Dwarves were not known for their diplomacy or tact, but in that instance, Bella thought they could have passed for hobbits, with their willingness to push the unpleasant episode aside and talk of other things.

It was not until the dwarves declared that they had bothered Bella long enough and had made their farewells, promising to visit again soon, that the subject of Thorin was brought up in earnest.

Kili lingered behind, ostensibly re-tying his boot straps whilst the others were still close enough to hear the conversation.

“Um, Bella?” he hesitated.

“Y…yes?” she replied, knowing what was coming.  She’d known all along why they had come, besides wanting to see her again.

“It’s…it’s about uncle…” he started, before Bella raised her hand.

“Kili, stop.  I don’t want to talk about him.”

“But Bella, please.  He’s so miserable.  Please let him talk to you,” he begged.

“I…I can’t,” she said hoarsely. 

“Just to talk.  It’s all he’s been dreaming of for months now, Bella, but he won’t dare come near you unless you allow it.”

“No.”

“Please, Bella.  Don’t you want to hear what he has to say?  Don’t you deserve an apology from him?” asked Kili, a little desperately.  This was not going quite the way he’d hoped.

“Kili, please,” replied Bella, rubbing her forehead in agitation.  “I’m just not ready to be in the same room as him.”

“He would never hurt you.”

“He did once,” came the swift reply.

“And it’s haunted him ever since, Bella.  I’ve seen it, the remorse and anguish he’s suffered because of his actions.”

“And you don’t think I haven’t suffered as well?” retorted Bella sharply, causing Kili to wince.  “I’m sorry, Kili.  I didn’t mean to snap.”

“It’s alright, Bella.  I’m sorry for further upsetting you,” said Kili sadly.  “I just don’t want to see two of my favourite people hurting so much.”

Bella couldn’t help the small smile at the sincerity in Kili’s face and leaned in and hugged him to her.  “You are a sweet dwarf, my Kili.  I’m not angry at you, I promise.”

“Will you speak to Thorin?” he asked, hoping his charming smile might sway her, but she shook her head.

“Not yet.  I know I will have to at some point, and I will, I promise, but I just can’t face him yet.  It’s too soon.  I still haven’t come to terms with the fact that he’s here, in Hobbiton,” she sighed.  “But I promise I will let you know when I am.”

Kili knew that was the best outcome he was going to achieve today, so he let the subject drop.  At least she wasn’t refusing to talk to Thorin outright, so there was some hope.

After they left, Bella slumped back against the door.  She decided to leave the dishes for now and take a nap instead.  She needed it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“What’s the matter, Bofur?  You’ve seemed a little down the last couple of days.” 

Poppy’s voice cut through his melancholy thoughts and put an instant smile on Bofur’s face.  Looking up from the piece of wood he was absentmindedly whittling on, he couldn’t help the leap of his pulse as he took in her beautiful face, smiling down at him, concern in her lovely green eyes.  Concern for him!

“Hello, Poppy,” he greeted her and felt the same shiver run through him he always felt when she was near as she sat next to him, barely an inch between them.

They’d been meeting nearly every day for nearly two months now.  At first, it was ‘accidental’ and simply a ‘coincidence’ that they happened to be at the same place, at the same time.  When it changed, Bofur couldn’t really be sure, and neither of them openly acknowledged it, but they began meeting under one particular tree, near the Green Dragon, at the same time most days, unless the weather was particularly inclement.

For Bofur, it was the highlight of his day and he didn’t know what he would do when Thorin decided it was time to return to Erebor.  How would he cope with not seeing Poppy every day?

When he wasn’t with her, he spent much of his time thinking about her and some of his dreams even made him blush, though, as yet, he’d made no physical overtures towards her, other than taking her hand when helping her up.  He wanted to, oh, how he wanted to, but he was as nervous and afraid of her reaction as a young dwarf encountering his first crush.

Unlike Thorin, he wasn’t royalty or anything special.  Sure, he was now considerably wealthy and held a high place amongst the hierarchy of Erebor, due to his involvement in the quest, but at heart, he was still just a lowly toymaker from the Blue Hills and he felt, somehow, unworthy of her.  Why would a lovely creature such as Poppy, want a battered, common dwarf with a talent for toy making and a quick wit?  

So he didn’t say anything about his growing feelings for her, instead, he savoured every look, smile, touch and breathless feeling he had when she was near.  They were friends, good friends now, though he wanted so much more, and he had to be content with that.

When she settled down, she took his hand in hers and looked into his eyes with a gentle, concerned expression and his heart raced like a jack-rabbit.  “You can tell me, Bofur.  I’m your friend and want to help you.”

Right then, Bofur knew that his heart and soul were no longer his.  This beautiful, sweet hobbit had them in her unconscious possession.  He closed his eyes, his hand tightening slightly on her soft, delicate fingers, so tiny within his, as he silently accepted the fact that she was his ‘one’, his one true love. 

“Bofur?”

With an inaudible sigh, he looked at her with a smile, hoping she couldn’t read the adoration in his eyes.  He would need to process his new-found knowledge later.  Now, he needed to ease the concern on her face.

“Oh, I’m fine, lass,” he reassured her.  “There’s nothing wrong with me.”

“But you haven’t been yourself, Bofur.  You haven’t smiled or laughed nearly as much in the last two days as usual.  You’ve hardly made anything, and that’s so unlike you.”

He gazed at her in wonder.  She seemed to know him so well.  Was that because they were friends, or did she feel something more for him?  True, they had come to know nearly everything about each other over the course of their many talks but he still felt warmed that she cared as she did.

“No, it’s nothing to do with me,” he said.  “It’s Thorin, and Bella.” 

At her perplexed look, he proceeded to tell her the whole sorry saga and how Bella had reacted when she found them in her smial.  He’d previously told her about the quest but had omitted details of Bella and Thorin’s relationship.  Not because he didn’t trust her, he did, but out of respect for their privacy. 

“Bella refuses to see Thorin and he barely speaks or eats now.  He spends all his time working in the forge until he’s ready to collapse.  You should have seen his face when Kili told him that Bella didn’t want to speak to him – it was a terrible thing to see, Poppy.  We’ve been trying to convince Bella to change her mind but with no luck.  Now that she’s out and about around Hobbiton, we’ve tried to talk Thorin into taking a break and walking into the village, hoping that they might accidentally meet, but he won’t go.  And he refuses to attempt to force Bella into talking to him – says he’ll only go to her with her permission.  The atmosphere around the forge resembles a funeral sometimes and I don’t know what we can do.”

He looked so downcast that Poppy put her arm around him and gently rubbed his back in sympathy, making his ruddy cheeks blush, which were, luckily, covered by his beard. 

“Poor Thorin.  And poor Bella.  It was a terrible business but it won’t be resolved if they don’t at least talk to each other,” said Poppy, still absently stroking his back though Bofur wasn’t stupid enough to bring it to her attention.  “Mmm, I think Thorin needs to ‘soften’ her up a little, enough so that she’ll at least speak to him.”

“How do you mean?” asked Bofur curiously, admiring her profile as she stared into the distance in thought.

“He needs to do something that will make her feel less angry and afraid of him.  Something with meaning.”  She was silent for a few moments then turned and grinned at him.  It was all he could do not to grab her and kiss her.  “How much do you know about flowers?”

“Flowers?  Can’t say I know anything other than that they come in different colours and varieties,” he replied, puzzled.  “Rocks and gems are more the dwarven thing, you realise?”

“Well, we hobbits take flowers very seriously.  Every flower has a different meaning for us.  That is why you see so many different varieties grown by us.  They are used in every special occasion and also by courting couples.”

“I see, but how does that relate to Thorin and Bella?” he asked.

“Don’t you see?  Thorin needs to give her some flowers, with very specific meanings, mind, to convey his thoughts and feelings.  It’s terribly hard for us hobbits to resist the lure of flowers, you know?” 

Bofur took that information and stored it away for possible use later.  “So a bunch of flowers will do the trick?”

“Of course not,” she chided.  “Don’t be silly.  No, he needs to be more subtle in his approach.  Gently woo her enough that she’ll give him a chance.  Persuade her that she wants to hear him out.”

“How does he go about that?”  Bofur still couldn’t figure out what Poppy was planning.

Instead of answering, she stood up and reached for his hand, pulling him up with her.  “Thorin is in the forge, you say?”  Bofur nodded.  “Very well.  Take me to see him.”

“You want to speak to Thorin?” he clarified, not sure if he’d heard right.

“Yes.  I need to tell him my idea and explain it properly.  You are a lovely dwarf, Bofur, but this requires inside knowledge.”  At his confused look, she giggled.  “Female knowledge, Bofur.  Bella is a female, so I know better than any of you how a female thinks.  It also sounds like Thorin needs to be dragged out of his self-pity and start doing something.  A new face might do the trick.”  She stopped as a thought came to her.  “You don’t think he’ll turn his wrath on me for my impudence, do you?”

Bofur shook his head with a chuckle.  “Nah, lass.  He’ll grumble and groan and give you the meanest, steeliest glare you can imagine, but that’s all.  After all, he has a known soft-spot for pretty hobbit lasses.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your lovely response to my story and your wonderful comments. They are very much appreciated and I'm so glad that you are enjoying the ride.


	21. Chapter 21

Poppy could feel herself quaking inside as she came face to face with Thorin Oakenshield for the first time but endeavoured not to show it.  Bofur had assured her that Thorin wouldn’t hurt her and she was trusting his word.  Still, intimidating was not quite strong enough a word to describe the dwarven king.

The heat of the furnace hopefully covered the blush that raced through her as Thorin looked up at them with a look of confusion which quickly morphed into a stern glare at both her and Bofur. 

She had seen the King of Erebor about the village now and again during their stay but this was the first time that Poppy had actually had an opportunity to get a good look at him.  Despite his fierce glare and the dark shadows beneath his eyes, Poppy could fully understand how Bella had fallen in love with him.  He was certainly a handsome male, with his piercing blue eyes, long, dark hair and strong, masculine body but she found him much too daunting for her taste.  Bofur, with his twinkling eyes and ready smile was much more appealing, even with his long beard and crazy hat.

“What do you want, Bofur?  And who is this?” 

His deep voice roused her from her thoughts.  Oh yes, she could definitely see what the appeal was for Bella.  That deep, rumbly voice would be a powerful weapon against any female.

“Oh, ah…Thorin.  This here is my friend, Poppy Gardner.  She wishes to speak with you,” replied Bofur nervously.

“Why?” questioned Thorin as he turned his steely gaze on the young hobbit. 

“Ah…your majesty…” she began nervously, taking a few quick breaths.  “I wish to assist you…”

“Assist me?  With what?” barked Thorin. 

“With…with Bella.”

The hammer that Thorin was about to swing downwards with force, instead came to a crashing halt on the anvil, the loud clang causing Poppy to jump a little. 

“What are you talking about?  What business is it of yours?” he thundered as he looked at Bofur.  “What tales are you spreading?”

“None!” cried Poppy.  “We are good friends and I could see that he was upset and I pushed until he told me what was happening.”

“I haven’t told anyone anything, except for Poppy here,” promised Bofur.

“Yes, and I want to help you,” agreed Poppy.

“It is none of your concern, hobbit,” snarled Thorin.  “Go back to your cozy hobbit-hole and leave my business alone.”

“No wonder Bella won’t talk to you!” came the uncensored words from Poppy’s mouth.  When she realised what she had said, she raised both hands to her mouth in horror.  Oh my, she was in for it now!

“Leave my forge, you insolent female!”  He then turned to Bofur.  “Next time you feel like gossiping about me, don’t, or you can leave my company!”  With that he brought his hammer down on the piece of metal he was working on so hard that a small shower of sparks burst forth.

“So you would rather indulge in your self-pity and make all your companions miserable alongside you than actually do something about getting Bella back?” sneered Poppy, incensed at the king’s treatment of Bofur.  “If that’s the case, then Bella is better off without you.  She may find someone who would actually fight for her!”

Whether it was her words or her tone of voice, Thorin froze in mid-strike.  His gaze pierced her with a mixture of bemusement, anger, surprise and a hint of admiration.  “I am not wallowing in self-pity,” he grumbled.

“Well, it certainly sounds like it,” retorted Poppy.  “Staying here all day won’t get Bella back.”

“Why do you care?”

“Because you are making Bofur, and the others, I expect, unhappy and it’s not right.  And I like Bella.”

“Are you a relative of hers?” asked Thorin

“Well, we are distant cousins, but then again, just about everyone in the Shire is related in some way so that’s not really saying anything.”

“What makes you think you can help me?” asked Thorin, his voice softening a little.

“Firstly, I’m a hobbit, so I know how hobbits think, particularly female ones, and what appeals to them.  Bofur has told me that Bella refuses to speak with you so you need to do something that will get her to change her mind.  I may have an idea that might help with that,” replied Poppy.

“She refuses to see me, despite numerous pleas.”

“Have you asked her yourself?” asked Poppy.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because she doesn’t want me anywhere near her, that’s why!” growled Thorin.  “She can’t bear the sight of me.”

“Have you even tried?”

Thorin gave a small shake of his head.  “No.”

“Well then, that just tells her that you either aren’t that desperate to talk to her or that you’re too scared to face her.”

“I am no coward!”

Poppy took a step back at the thunderous expression on Thorin’s face.  “I…I’m not saying you are but I’m trying to make you see how it may appear to Bella.  That she’s not important enough for you to even try to see her.”

“She…she is afraid of me,” admitted Thorin, his eyes showing the sorrow he felt.  “I don’t want to frighten her further which is why I am respecting her wishes and staying away.”

“Which is why you need to go about this a little differently rather than just walking up to her door and demanding she speak to you,” said Poppy.  “We females can be contrary creatures, you know.  She may believe that you staying away is what she wants but if you do nothing, or only use others as intermediaries, she will think that you don’t really want her and things will only get worse.”

Both Thorin and Bofur shook their heads slightly at this logic and looked at each other as if agreeing that the female mind was too impenetrable a puzzle to work out.  “So, either way, I will do the wrong thing?” asked Thorin.

“Yes, exactly!” nodded Poppy.

“And how is this helpful?” asked a perplexed Thorin.

“I’m just giving you an insight in how we females think and I have an idea for you to woo her in a way that won’t seem threatening but will show her that you are making an effort to repair your relationship.  That she is important to you.  Hopefully, before too long, she will allow you to see her.”

Thorin couldn’t quite hide the scepticism on his face but he gave a small nod.  “Very well.  Tell me what I must do.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The sun had not yet risen and there was a distinct chill in the air, a remnant of the winter months that stubbornly lingered despite the signs of spring.

Making his way stealthily up the path towards Bag End, Thorin kept turning his head, hoping that no-one was up yet.  It would be too embarrassing to be caught acting like a thief in the night when he was doing the exact opposite – he was delivering something.

After agreeing to let the pushy little hobbit help him, Poppy had run out of the forge, promising to return as quickly as she could, leaving the two dwarves staring dumb-founded after her. 

“That is who you spend your time with?” asked Thorin. 

Bofur grinned unashamedly.  “I didn’t know she was such a fiery little thing, with a temper to match.  She’s always been as sweet as pie with me.  You seem to have the ability to bring out the worst in hobbit lasses.”

Thorin’s glare would have withered a lesser dwarf but Bofur was too busy relishing the memory of the look on Thorin’s face when Poppy had stood up to him.  He let out a small sigh as he thought about how her show of temper had made her even more stunning.

Poppy returned a short time later, panting with exertion, her face flushed red and her hair slightly askew and falling out of its ribbon.  In her arms she was holding a worn book.

“Here we are!”  she said breathlessly.  “My, I think I need to start doing a little more exercise!” she grinned, holding out the book to Thorin.

He looked at it dubiously then glared at her.  “A book?  How is that meant to help me woo Bella?”

Poppy shook her head.  “Just listen.  I know dwarves don’t know much about flowers but as I told Bofur, for hobbits, they are an integral part of our culture.  And not just because they are pretty or decorative.  No, to us, all flowers and plants have a meaning which we use to convey a message.  For example, a courting couple will give each other flowers to show the other how they feel.  When a baby is born, the mother will receive flowers that express good wishes for the child.  When we have parties, the flowers used to decorate usually represent what the celebration is about, such as flowers that symbolise love and fidelity at a wedding ceremony.  And they are used when someone wants to apologise and show remorse for something.”  She looked pointedly at Thorin as she said the last bit.

Thorin looked at the book in her hands.  “So, you are telling me that flowers have a language of their own, according to hobbit lore?”

“Yes, exactly!” she replied.  “This book lists all the plants and flowers that can be found in the Shire and the meanings that are attached to them.  Similar books can be found in most every home in the Shire and many become family heirlooms that are passed down through generations.  This is my family’s book.”  Once again, she held it out to Thorin. 

Reaching out, he took the book tentatively in his hands.  He could see it was well-worn, with small cracks appearing in the leather binding and the pages slightly yellowed and creased with age.  “Won’t your family miss it?”

“Not straight away and besides, we’ve all grown up being taught the meanings by our parents so it’s not something that gets read a lot.  It’s only used on occasion when we need to look up a plant we don’t normally use.”

“So, how is reading this going to help?”  He was still in the dark about what he was meant to do with that knowledge.

“My idea is for you to give Bella flowers that convey your feelings, but not all at once.”  At his confused look, she continued.  “You need to give her one flower every day, each with a different meaning.  For example, you can start with one that conveys your remorse and move on to others that tell her how you feel.”

“But how am I to give them to her if she won’t let me near her?”

“Well, you will have to think of some other way.  You look smart enough to come up with a few ideas,” she replied cheekily, ignoring his glare. 

“And you believe this will work?”

“You giving her these flowers will show her that you are making an earnest effort by taking the trouble to choose the appropriate flower.  Also, you will be telling her how you feel without her feeling threatened by your presence until she is ready.  If you choose your flowers carefully, they can be as effective as a love-letter.”

“Bella will know what each flower I give her means?” he asked, needing to be certain that his meaning would be understood.

“Of course she will.  She’s a hobbit, isn’t she?”

Thorin opened the book and looked at the carefully drawn flower on the page.  Underneath was written the flower’s name, meanings and uses.  Quickly scanning the other pages, he could see the work involved in the cataloguing of the flora of the Shire.  He briefly considered getting Ori to copy the book for him.  It could come in handy in future.

“So, I suggest you begin studying that book and coming up with a way to give the flowers to Bella,” she said.

Thorin nodded slowly.  “Yes.”  Looking up, he gave her the smallest of smiles.  “Thank you,” he said softly, almost under his breath.

“You’re most welcome,” she returned brightly. 

“I may require your assistance in procuring some of these.”

“Of course!  I’m most happy to help you find what you need.  Bofur knows where I live so he can just fetch me when want my help.”

He had spent most of the afternoon after Poppy left studying her book, looking for just the right meaning and working out how best to get Bella to accept it. 

Walking up to her and handing her the flowers would not work as she would most likely run from him or slam the door in his face.  Giving them to someone else to give to her on his behalf seemed like the coward’s way.  After thinking long and hard, he came up with a solution.

He would deliver the flowers on her doorstep before she awoke.  Whether she kept or destroyed them, he would not know but at least he would be doing something.  Poppy had been right; wallowing in self-pity was getting him nowhere.

Thus, it was how he found himself wandering through Hobbiton two days later, in the pre-dawn darkness, holding a piece of raspberry bramble entwined with two peony flowers, held together with a blue ribbon, his signature colour, which Poppy had acquired for him at the market.

Opening her gate, the hinges not making a sound thanks to his workmanship, he slowly climbed the steps to her front door.  It was the first time he’d been here since the night Bella returned and every part of him longed to go inside and hold her close.  She was so near and yet the chasm between them was as wide as the Misty Mountains. 

With a melancholy sigh, he kissed the flowers and gently placed them on her doorstep, trying to arrange it so that she would notice them before she accidentally stepped on the flowers. 

He hoped with all his soul that she would understand the message he was trying to send.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Bella checked that her skirt was lying correctly before picking up her basket and heading for the front door.  After holing herself away in her home for the first few days, she had begun venturing outside, knowing she couldn’t hide away forever.  Also, once word began trickling down that she had returned from her adventure, the number of visitors began mounting, much to her annoyance.  There were the genuine visitors, those truly happy to see her again and then there were the curious, those who wanted to see what had become of the wild hobbit that took off with a group of strange dwarves.  That a number of said dwarves were now well known in the village didn’t make any difference.  She was now a curiosity.

This morning she had decided that she might as well head down to the market and pick up some groceries to re-stock her pantry.  Despite the number of unwelcome visitors, good manners dictated that she offer her all her guests refreshments and so her stores were getting a little low for her liking.  Also, she hoped that the gawkers would get their fill without having to make excuses to come visiting.

Her subtle questioning of Kili had yielded the information that Thorin had not been down to the market since she arrived, that, in fact, he hadn’t left the forge, so she felt reasonably sure that she would not run into him there.  She deliberately pushed aside the faint disappointment she felt at the knowledge.  Despite the dwarves’ pleas and Primula’s subtle encouragement, she wasn’t ready to see him.

Taking a deep breath, Bella pulled open her front door and made to step through when her eye was caught by a flash of pink on the edge of the first step.

Lying on the stone brick was a twig of raspberry bramble alongside two pink peony flowers.  They were held together by a length of royal blue ribbon.

Bella’s heart began racing as she slowly bent down and picked up the posy.  The ribbon’s colour was a clue to the identity of the giver.  It may have been a coincidence but there was one person who predominantly wore that colour.

She walked dazedly to her bench and sat down, her eyes not leaving the flowers.  Did Thorin leave these?  Her heart told her it was his doing but her brain was valiantly trying to deny it. 

It may have been a villager who wanted to welcome her back.  It may have nothing to do with him.

Then she looked closely at the flowers and foliage and gave a small gasp as the meaning behind these particular plants became clear.

Shame and remorse.

The peony meant the giver felt shame for their actions and the raspberry bramble told her that he, and it had to be he, felt remorse.

Who else of her acquaintance could feel that way regarding their actions towards her?  Lobelia’s name sprang to mind, but she’d sooner believe Thorin and Thranduil were best friends before thinking Lobelia regretted her actions. 

No.  Thorin was trying to tell her, through these flowers, what she wouldn’t allow him to say to her face. 

A part of her wanted to toss the flowers away in defiance and spite but the greater part couldn’t help holding the posy close to her chest as she fought back tears.  Taking a moment to regather her composure, she stood up and walked back into Bag End where she got a small vase and carefully placed the flowers in water. 

She wondered who had told Thorin about the language of flowers and she couldn’t help but be touched by the gesture and though it wasn’t enough to change her mind, it gave her a warm feeling to know he was thinking about her.

Shrugging her shoulders, she decided she needed to get on with her day, and with one last look at the flowers, headed back outside.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Every morning after that, Bella would find another flower on her doorstep.  Bella couldn’t help marvelling at the lengths that he must have gone to in order to acquire some of the flowers, as they were only just coming into bloom.

There was a purple hyacinth and some fern fronds bound together by the blue ribbon on the first morning.  She understood their meanings – ‘forgive me’ and ‘sincerity’.  That was followed by a white tulip which signified forgiveness.   

A snowdrop (hope), followed by a yellow rose surrounded by sage leaves (affection and esteem).  The sweet pansy (you occupy my thoughts) and the blue hyacinth (constancy) made her breath hitch. 

Tears sprang to her eyes when she saw the red carnation (my heart aches for you).  “So does mine, Thorin,” she whispered into the petals.

There was no way Bella could deny, even to herself, that she wasn’t affected by Thorin’s actions.  Without going against her wishes, he was conveying his thoughts and feelings, one flower at a time.  She could feel her resolve weakening with every flower she found on her doorstep.

Primula’s sharp eyes had spotted the collection on her mantelpiece and had instantly made the connection between the different species and the meanings behind them.  When Bella put one of the ribbons in her hair, she couldn’t keep silent any longer.

“When are you going to put him out of his misery?” she asked Bella over tea one afternoon.

“What do you mean?”

Prim just gave Bella a withering glare.  “Don’t play the fool, Bel.  You know very well who I’m talking about.”

“I don’t know,” sighed Bella.

“Bella, now you are just being cruel.  Look at the trouble Thorin is going to.  He’s begging your forgiveness.  He’s had to go to a fair bit of effort to get some of those flowers.”

Bella looked at her collection.  The earliest ones had wilted but she hadn’t been able to throw them out, so she had pressed them into some of her favourite books in order to preserve them. 

“Give him a chance, Bel.  Just let him speak with you.  You’ve left him dangling and you aren’t giving him any hope that you may pull him back to safety.  You’ve heard Kili tell you about how miserable he’s been.  Doesn’t that count for something?”

“I know,” admitted Bella. 

“He could have just packed up and left again but he hasn’t.  He stayed.  He has respected your wishes and not come near you.  How long before  he sees that it’s a hopeless cause and gives up?  Is that what you truly want?  To never see him again?”

Shoulders slumped and her head hanging down, Bella shook her head slowly.  “No,” she whispered.  “No, I don’t want that.”

And while the part of her that was trying to maintain her rage against Thorin stubbornly insisted that she didn’t care if he went away forever, her heart ached at the thought.

“Then give him some hope.  Agree to talk to him,” urged Prim.

“But what if I react badly again?” asked Bella.

“You won’t know if that will happen if you’re never in the same room.  Give him the chance to prove he won’t hurt you again.  Carrying on like this is not making you happy and I know he isn’t happy.”

No, she wasn’t happy.  In fact, the only time she was happy these days was when she opened her front door in the morning and found another bloom wrapped in royal blue ribbon.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Thorin made his way towards Bag End in the pre-dawn chill.  It was clear that the days were slowly getting longer as the skies were lightening and it was easier to see in the darkness.  Dwarves had very good night vision, due to living in mountain dwellings, but he did appreciate the extra light.

He’d been doing this for two weeks now and there didn’t seem to be any sign of Bella softening.  He didn’t begrudge his efforts, but he was losing hope with every day that passed.  Would there come a point where he had to give up?  Only his nephews’ information that Bella had not been throwing out the flowers stopped him from sinking into complete despair.  Was that because she cared about what he was trying to tell her or simply because she couldn’t bear to destroy any plant?

When Poppy had come to the forge to bring him more ribbon, she had seen despondency in his eyes. 

“You’re not giving up hope already, are you?” she had asked him as she handed over the ribbon.

“No, but it does not seem like my efforts are making any difference,” replied Thorin.

“But it’s only been just over a week.  At least she’s keeping them.  That’s the first step,” she told him.

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“Well then, we’ll try something else.  You can’t give up on her, Thorin,” urged Poppy. 

Thorin closed his eyes and sighed.  “Very well.  I will try not to give in to hopelessness.  I will consider it as part of my punishment and penance.”

“Good,” smiled Poppy encouragingly.  “Now, what flowers were you thinking of giving her next?”

In his hand he held a small posy of daisies, daffodils and jonquils.  According to Poppy’s book they signified respect, regard, loyal love and a desire for the recipient’s affection.

Thorin would rather be mauled by a warg than ever admit it aloud, but he was finding the whole language of flowers concept somewhat fascinating.  He would never have thought that the simplest plant or flower had so many meanings.  Reading through the book had helped take his mind off his sadness and he had taken to writing down combinations of meanings in order to ask Poppy where he could obtain the flora he needed.

The other dwarves had enquired about the book, but Thorin had only given them a perfunctory answer.  Dwalin had been about to make some sort of sarcastic comment but the glare from Thorin, and surprisingly, Bifur, had quelled the impulse.  He had started eating properly again and after their meal, he would head back to the forge to consult the book again or to put the next morning’s posy together.  His first few attempts at tying the ribbon had been woeful but he had to admit that he was becoming much more skilled at it.  Poppy had even showed him how to tie a double bow and he had completed his first one with a flourish.

He was so engaged with the book that he had asked Ori to make a copy whilst he was working at the forge.  As he worked he came up with the idea of creating a garden for Bella back in Erebor, if he was so lucky as to have her come back with him.  His skilled artisans would be able to devise a way to build an outdoor garden near the royal suites.  He could order that they obtain glass, no matter the cost, so that the plants could be protected in all elements.  Bella would then be able to plant anything she wished and maybe have a little bit of home nearby. 

Thorin smiled wistfully as he daydreamed of the both of them walking through her garden, hand in hand, as he picked a special flower to tell her how he was feeling that day.  Bella would smile at him before reaching up and giving him a loving kiss in gratitude.  The kiss would develop into more and they would eventually end up in their bedchamber, where he would show her just how much he loved her.

It was only when he nearly crushed his thumb that he forced himself to concentrate on the task at hand.

As usual, all was still and dark in Bag End when he pushed open the gate.  As he did every morning, his mind imagined his love asleep in her bed and the familiar longing rose in him again.

When he reached the top step, he sighed softly and kissed the posy, imagining that he was pouring all the love he felt into the flowers, and bent down to place them on the stone. 

He didn’t hear the green door opening. 

On straightening, he looked straight into the brown eyes that he’d dreamt about every night and couldn’t contain the small gasp that left his lips.

Bella stood in her doorway, in the same coloured robe that she was wearing the night they met, with a slightly apprehensive look on her face.

Thorin could feel his eyes welling and his heart pounding as he looked at his beloved and had to summon all his control not to fall at her feet and sob. 

“Hello, Thorin,” she said softly.

He opened his mouth to reply but it felt like a huge lump of clay was in his throat and he had to clear it before any words would come out.  “Hello, Bella,” he replied hoarsely.

Bella looked down at the posy on the step and instantly worked out its meaning, her heart seeming to skip a beat.  “Are…are those for me?”  It was a rhetorical question, of course, but she needed to say something.

Blushing faintly, much to Bella’s bemusement, Thorin nodded.  “Of course.” 

They stared at each other for a long moment, neither finding words to speak.  Thorin was the first to snap out of it and bent over to pick up the posy.  Slowly, carefully, he held it out to Bella, his eyes pleading that she would accept it.

With a tiny smile, she reached out and took it, their fingers brushing ever so lightly.  Both felt the instant heat race through them at the tiniest contact.

“Thank you,” she whispered.  Thorin only nodded in response, unable to speak.

The emotions could almost be seen in the silence that followed.  Thorin didn’t know what to do.  Should he leave?  Did the fact that she had been waiting for him mean anything?

He watched her take a deep breath and then she looked at him directly.  “I…I think we need to talk.”

His heart began pounding at her words and he nodded.  “Yes.”

At his answer, Bella took a step back and opened the door wider.  “Won’t you come inside then, Thorin?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos, comments and views. I'm so grateful for each one.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically all about 'the talk' and there's not much action but a discussion this important couldn't be covered in two or three paragraphs.

The tension was thick enough to cut with a dagger as Bella walked towards her kitchen, Thorin behind her. She could feel her hands shaking and she wasn’t sure if it was because of nerves or fear. Or a mixture of both. The sound of Thorin’s boots on her stone floor was the only thing that disturbed the silence and they seemed to be keeping time with the thudding of her heart.

The hallway was dark as she hadn’t bothered to light any of the sconces, only the glow from the kitchen giving off any illumination.

After so long; after so much had happened, she was finally alone with Thorin and it certainly was not as she had once envisaged it: the two of them celebrating privately after having reclaimed his kingdom, speaking words of love and devotion.

No, instead the air was full of unspoken thoughts and feelings and Bella couldn’t help thinking she’d made a mistake in waiting for him and allowing him inside. She hadn’t been happy but at least she hadn’t felt the intense awkwardness that seemed to be weighing her down now.

She was at least grateful that he was keeping a respectful distance behind her. Nothing in his demeanour suggested any sort of aggressiveness but she couldn’t help but feel a little jumpy, though she was attempting to suppress it. She had to overcome this fear, somehow.

Entering the brightness of the kitchen, Bella quickly went to the kettle that she had put on to heat and carried it to the kitchen bench, attempting to hide her shaking hands and trying to steel herself for what was coming. Behind her, she heard Thorin pull out a chair and sit down so she took a quick breath and turned around.

“Would you like a cup of tea? I’ve got scones I made yesterday if you haven’t eaten yet. There’s jam in the pantry and cream too, if you like. Or I can make something if you prefer. I can cook you some bacon and eggs. Yes, yes, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll have to get it from the pantry. Oh, maybe you’d prefer some ale rather than tea…” She knew she was babbling but her first real look at Thorin made all the rational thought fly from her head.

“No, thank you,” interrupted Thorin, giving her a small smile. “Tea will be fine, Bella.”

The next few moments were silent as they looked at each other properly, both noting the changes that their time apart had wrought.

To Bella’s eyes, Thorin was still as stunningly handsome as ever and she couldn’t stop the flutter of pleasure that raced through her as her eyes feasted on him. Those incredible blue eyes still seemed to see right through her and if she wasn’t careful, she could get totally lost in them. At first glance, he looked unchanged but as she studied him more closely, she could see that his face was thinner and there were visible dark smudges under his eyes, as if sleep had not been easily come by lately. There were a few more wrinkles on his forehead and just a touch more silver in his hair, which she thought made him look even more attractive.

Then her eyes wandered to his lips, which she imagined were still as soft as she remembered before her gaze was drawn to his beard. All during their quest, Thorin had worn his beard closely cropped, unlike the other dwarves with their elaborate beards and moustaches, except for young Kili. She could still remember how it felt to have that soft hair brush over her sensitive body, exciting her already aroused senses to fever pitch. Now, though, his beard was longer and braided in two strands, a silver clasp on each end. They was slightly similar to Fili’s moustache braids. Bella wasn’t sure how she felt about the change.

“You’ve grown your beard,” she blurted out, blushing as she realised what she’d said.

Thorin gave a slight chuckle and nodded. “Yes, I have. My vow to reclaim our home was complete so it seemed appropriate to grow it again. Do you like it?” he asked suddenly then looked down in embarrassment. “Forgive me, I should not have asked that.”

He missed the small smile Bella gave at the evidence of his own awkwardness. “No, it’s fine,” she reassured him. “I just have to get used to it, that’s all.”

His eyes lifted back to hers and she would have been blind to miss the hope that shone in them at her words. Now she was the one to look away shyly as she berated herself for the impression her words gave.

Aule, this was so hard! Not even at the start of the quest, when Thorin was being actively callous towards her, had conversation between them been so difficult.

Uncomfortable silence reigned once again as Bella turned to fetch the cups for the tea, placing one in front of Thorin before fiddling with spoons and the creamer, aware of his eyes on her all the time. Holding the kettle as tightly as possible to disguise her trembling hands, she carried it to the table and poured out the tea.

She watched as he carefully picked up his cup, longing to touch his fingers. To distract herself from thoughts of what his fingers could do, both good and bad, she sat at the other end of the table, and took a sip of her own tea and said the first thing she could think of to break the uneasy quiet.

“Thank you for all the work you carried out to Bag End. And for getting rid of Lobelia.”

Thorin nodded at her words. “You do not need to thank me. It was the least I could do whilst staying in your home, without your permission.” He looked directly at her then. “I apologise for having imposed on you like that. We should never have stayed here. It was wrong of me. I’m no better than your relative.”

“No, you’re wrong,” replied Bella, shaking her head. “You did me a great service evicting Lobelia. As for my home, Primula has told me of the state it was in when you arrived and how you worked to repair and restore it. I’m not angry you stayed here, really. It would not have been very pleasant to arrive home and find the odious Lobelia living here.”

“No, you found me here instead, which was even worse,” he muttered, looking down at his cup.

Once again, neither said a word while both tried to gather the courage to finally address what needed to be said. Then, without warning, he reached out, as if to take her hand and Bella instinctively flinched and sat back in her seat.

Realising what he’d done, Thorin quickly withdrew his hand and looked into her anxious eyes, his own becoming glassy and holding such an incredible amount of sadness and remorse that Bella’s first impulse was to reach out to him in return, only just managing to stop herself and clench her fists instead.

“Mahal, I’m so, so sorry, Bella,” began Thorin throatily, his voice thick with emotion. “I wish I could adequately express my remorse at what happened.”

By now her hands were shaking so badly that she made no effort to pick up her cup, knowing that she would spill scalding liquid over herself if she attempted it.

“To see how afraid of me you are, how the mere threat of my touch frightens you, pierces my soul.” He looked up, his face now drawn with sorrow. “I would give anything to take that away, to take back what I did to you. What I did to us. I don’t expect your forgiveness, I don’t deserve it, but I want you to know that I would sooner die a painful death at the hand of my greatest enemy than to ever intentionally hurt you again. I will carry the eternal shame of my actions towards you to my grave.”

The whole time he spoke, Bella had been looking down at her clenched hands and as his voice drifted off, the first tear splashed onto her skin. That was soon followed by another, then another until she was silently crying.

Hearing his apology, whilst not mending her broken heart, was like a balm, which stung at first but then provided some relief from her pain. Finally glancing up, she saw that he watched her, a wet trail down his own cheek evidence of his own pain.

“Why?” she whispered brokenly. “How could you do that to me? I thought you loved me?”

“I did. I do. I love you with my entire heart and soul,” he replied huskily.

“You nearly killed me. If not for your nephews, I would be dead.”

Thorin let out an anguished groan and dropped his head into his hands. “I know. I have nightmares every night about it. It will be my shame to bear for allowing my greed and the gold sickness to take control of my actions. I, who knew first hand what it could do, allowed myself to succumb to it and in my weakness, hurt the one I held dearest in my heart.”

“Then you banished me. You threw me away like I was rotting garbage,” said Bella, unable to hide the bitterness she still felt at the memory. “You called me horrible names.”

“I know, and I regret every single word I spoke to you on that terrible day, but Bella…” at this, he looked up, his pained eyes boring into hers. “…I was hurt too. It in no way excuses what I did, but you hurt me as well.”

“What do you mean?”

“By betraying me. By giving away the Arkenstone,” he replied.

“That damned rock!” she burst out angrily. “Is that all that mattered to you? You got the blasted thing back, didn’t you?”

“I don’t care about the Arkenstone!” he bit back, his voice rising, making her wince. He noticed her reaction and grimaced, reining in his dreadful temper. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout. The last thing I wish to do is scare you or make you more fearful of me.”

The shock in her eyes at his attempt to restrain his temper wasn’t surprising to him. He’d never tried to control himself before in their acquaintance.

“No, I have no fondness for the Arkenstone any more. Not since that day. What hurt me was that you did not trust me and lied to me about finding it,” he explained.

“But you would not listen to reason,” protested Bella.

“I asked you if you had found it and you lied to my face, Bella. You denied having found it when you had it in your possession all along.”

“Would it have made any difference?” she retorted.

“We’ll never know, because you carried it around in your bag and denied its existence every time I asked you if you had found it. You knew what it represented. Mahal knows I had told you often enough. I did many things to you, Bella, many things I am grievously ashamed of, but I never lied to you.”

Bella looked away from Thorin, unable to control the feeling of shame that rose in her breast at his words. She remembered finding the Arkenstone and being mesmerised by its beauty and the longing to keep it for herself, before the situation deteriorated to the point of war. Yes, she had lied to Thorin, even before the gold sickness took an absolute hold on him. Her intentions at the end were good but when she first found it, her own greed had compelled her to lie to him.

Still, her stubbornness wouldn’t let her accept any of the blame just yet, not when so much worse had been done to her.

“You didn’t see yourself then, Thorin,” she argued. “I could barely talk to you. You didn’t act like my betrothed. You were like a stranger.”

“I know the sickness had a grip on me but you still betrayed my trust. I had never given my heart to anyone until you. Other than my sister and nephews, no-one was allowed past the armour I wore to protect myself from hurt. I trusted very few. When I fell in love with you, I placed all my trust and faith in you, something that I fought for a long time. My heart was bare to you and I believed you would protect it. We had made promises to each other and, even in my madness, I believed that your loyalty would be to me.”

“It was Thorin,” she stressed. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just didn’t see any other way.”  She hadn’t realised at the time just how personally Thorin would take her actions. 

“When I saw Bard with the stone, I felt broken inside, Bella. You knew what it represented and you gave it to my enemies. You didn’t trust me enough to overcome the madness.” 

“Don’t you remember what you were like?” she asked desperately. “You were beyond reason. You would not negotiate with Bard, were willing to starve yourself, and us, and even go to war, with only fourteen of us.” 

“Even before the sickness took me, you would not see that I could not appear weak and meekly submit to Bard and Thranduil. They did not want to negotiate. They sent armies. You wanted me to lie down and let them walk all over me.” The memory of that time still made him angry. 

“No,” she denied. “That’s not what I wanted. I just wanted you to give Bard what was his. Thranduil deserved nothing.” 

“And that was my intention but when they came making threats, what was I to do? It is not, and never will be, my nature to give in to threats. Dwarves are not hobbits. When threatened, we will fight back. I cannot change that. You would not see that I would lose all respect, from both my company and my enemies if I had given in.” 

“You’re wrong, Thorin. I did see that the way they approached you was wrong but the situation escalated so quickly.” She looked at him sadly. “I just didn’t want you to die.” 

Thorin sighed, the anger leaving him. “I know. I know this now, and once I was thinking clearly again, I knew it then, but at the time, your betrayal struck me right in my heart. Added to the sickness, I lost all control that day and carried out my shameful actions.” He looked at her pleadingly. “Please, do not think I wish to justify my actions in any way. I just wanted to explain them, somehow.” 

Bella said nothing for a long time and then sighed. No, she was not entirely blameless and if Thorin could put aside his not inconsiderable pride and admit his wrongs, then she could do no less. “I’m sorry too. I…I did want the stone for myself; at first, anyway. I’m not proud of lying to you but believe me, though I knew that you would be angry, I didn’t realise how my actions would hurt you like that. It was never my intention.” 

“I know. I simply wish none of it had happened.” 

“And…and the gold sickness? It hasn’t re-occurred?” 

Thorin shook his head. “No, thank the Maker. To be honest, it took me many months before I went into the Treasury room and I will admit that all I felt was a vague repulsion.” At her sceptical look, he nodded. “It’s true. I don’t even go in there now. It’s caused me so much loss,” he said softly. 

“What if it comes back? How do you know it won’t?” she asked. 

“It won’t,” he replied. “I know it.” 

“How?” 

“Because I would just need to think of the pain of losing you if it threatened me again,” he answered honestly, the truth evident in his eyes. 

Bella didn’t reply. She didn’t know if she could trust his words. Oh, she believed that he truly meant them, but not that he would be able to fight off gold sickness again if it threatened him, despite his certainty. 

She did believe him, though, when he said he would never physically hurt her again. It was obvious that his actions had horrified him and she could see the shame he felt over them. 

Females were fiercely protected in his culture and for a male to hurt a female was a terrible thing. She knew that if he had been free of the sickness, he would never have harmed her like that, no matter how hurt and angry he was. He may have banished her, in his fury, but would not have harmed her physically. 

Her brain told her this. How long before her body listened to her brain and stopped reacting instinctively? Who knew? 

“Why did you come here? How can you leave your mountain for so long?” She already knew the answer to the first question. Hadn’t all his actions spelled it out even if she had not been ready to hear it? 

“I’ve missed you, Bella,” he replied gruffly. “I simply could not bear to be away from you any longer. I felt like my soul was dying inside,” he admitted. When she didn’t say anything, he continued speaking. “From the moment I opened my eyes after the battle, I longed for you. My entire being ached with the desire to come after you, to beg your forgiveness and plead with you to be mine again but I was equally wracked with guilt and shame. The knowledge that you must surely hate me seemed to me to be my punishment for what I did.” 

He stopped talking and closed his eyes, vividly remembering the pain of waking and not having his Bella there beside him and then remembering why she wasn’t. 

Bella found she was having a difficult time breathing, the weight of both their emotions seeming to press down on her. “I…I don’t hate you, Thorin,” she whispered throatily. “I never did.” 

Thorin gave her a small, heartfelt smile and reached out to take her hand, but she pulled hers back. The smile instantly left his face, replaced with a look of utter dejection, which he quickly attempted to mask, but which she had seen. 

“Fili said your recovery took many months,” she said in an attempt to change the topic. 

“Yes,” he nodded. “It was slow and painful and I am certain I near drove Oin to pull out his beard in frustration. I’m afraid I was never a good patient, and I was especially bad this time.” 

Bella grinned a little as she imagined it. Patience was definitely not one of Thorin’s virtues. “I imagine everyone was glad when you were on your feet again. There was no lasting damage?” She still remembered how he looked when she last saw him, covered in bandages, cuts and bruises. 

“I occasionally suffer headaches but they are getting less and less frequent,” he replied. 

“I’m glad,” she said and then the uncomfortable silence took over once again. 

Bella was debating whether she should get up and get them something to eat, when Thorin spoke. 

“You asked me why I came.” When she didn’t reply, he looked earnestly into her eyes, the blue depths roiling with emotions. “I came because I love you and I want you back. You are my ‘One’ and I will do anything to hear you say you will be mine again.” 

There they were: the words she didn’t believe she would ever hear from his lips again. At least, not before she had returned to Hobbiton. Then, having seen the lengths he had gone to it had been impossible not to know how he felt. Each one of his flowers had said it for him. 

“I thought I was able to accept my punishment of never seeing you again and imagining you loving another, but it was slowly killing me, day by day. My nephews tried for many weeks to convince me to come after you but I resisted. I felt, and still feel, I did not deserve your forgiveness but I could not do it anymore. I need you, Bella, like the very air I breathe.” He looked at her imploringly. “Please Bella. Let me try to win you back.” 

During his speech, Bella could no longer control the tears that fell down her cheeks. She wanted so much to wrap her arms around him and say, ‘ _Yes, I’m yours forever_ ’, but she couldn’t. Not while there were still issues they needed to discuss and while she didn’t completely trust him. 

“I…I don’t know,” she replied tearily. 

“Have I lost your love completely, then?” he asked sadly. 

“It’s not solely about my feelings for you,” she said. “When we were together before, we never had the chance to really discuss the realities of what our relationship would entail. Events were overtaking us and we had to live in the moment but once I left I realised the difficulties we would have had to overcome to be together.” 

“What difficulties?” replied Thorin. “We loved each other. All else would not have mattered.” 

“Really?” she retorted. “Is that what you think? So you believe that your people would have willingly and happily embraced a hobbit as their queen?” 

“Who I take as my wife is not their concern, only mine,” he retorted arrogantly. 

“So your royal duty would not come into it then?” she asked a little cynically. “Wouldn’t you be expected to wed some dwarven bride?” 

Thorin looked intently at her, wanting her to understand once and for all. “Bella, you obviously did not completely understand the concept of dwarven love.” At her puzzled stare, he continued. “When a dwarf finds his or her ‘One’, there cannot be another. Ever. It is not something we can control. It is as if our heart is permanently joined with our ‘One’, and nothing can sunder the bond, not even death. My sister has been grieving the loss of her ‘One’ since my nephews were dwarflings. She will never find another love. She simply waits for the time when they will be reunited in the Halls of Mandos.” 

Bella’s eyes were wide as she listened to Thorin’s words. He had explained this back in Lake Town but she had not truly comprehended it then. 

“All dwarves know this, just as they know that the heart and soul picks its ‘one’, not the brain. Mahal knows it would be easier if it were the case. This is why political marriages among dwarves are rarely made, unless the two dwarves involved are actually each other’s ‘One’, which is rare.” He stared deep into her eyes as he continued. 

“ _You_ are my ‘One’, Bella,” he said, his voice low but emphatic. “I could sooner fly from the top of Erebor than ever love another. My heart and soul is bound to you for all eternity, regardless of your feelings for me.” His voice was a little pained as he said it. “My people will understand this and even if some are disconcerted by the fact you are a hobbit, they will know that it is nothing that any of us can control. Mahal has willed it so. I knew the instant I saw you, and though I fought it as long as I could, I was not strong enough to counter Mahal’s will.” He paused and took a deep breath. “Therefore, as my ‘One’, my people will accept you as their queen, regardless of their feelings.” 

These words, rather than alleviate her doubts, only served to burden her even more. Instead of feeling elation that his love for her was enduring, it placed a huge weight of responsibility on her. How much would she hurt and damage him if she found she couldn’t overcome her doubts and fears and accept him once again? Despite what he had done, she didn’t want to leave him broken, did she? 

“I see,” she said. “You’re right. I didn’t truly understand what you meant when you called me your ‘One’.” 

“So, do you now see what I meant when I said that my choice of bride was mine only?” he asked. 

Bella simply nodded in response. “Which brings me to another issue neither of us thought of at the time,” she said. He indicated that she continue. “Children.” 

She didn’t miss the flare of desire and pleasure in his eyes at the word. “What about children?” 

“Your people would accept a future heir that is not completely of dwarven blood?” she asked. “The line of Durin would not remain pure.” 

“I don’t care about any of that,” stated Thorin emphatically. “I would love and cherish any children we had together. As would my people. Dwarven children are rare and any child is considered a gift, as ours would be. You and our children would be my greatest treasures and I would fight to the death to protect you,” he vowed solemnly. 

“And what if I can’t give you any?” she asked shakily, his words having moved her to tears again. 

“What do you mean?” he asked, an anxious look on his face. 

“We are two different races. Is it even possible for us to conceive a baby?” she asked huskily. “I did not fall pregnant before,” she pointed out. She didn’t add how badly it had hurt when she realised she was not carrying Thorin’s child. 

“We were together for so a short a time, Bella. How can you assume that you couldn’t bear my child?” asked Thorin insistently. 

“We made love many times in that short week, Thorin,” she reminded him, while feeling her pulse race at the memories her words sparked. “And hobbits are very rarely barren, as you can see by the number of fauntlings running around. Most newlyweds I’ve known have fallen pregnant by the end of the first month.” 

“But I am not a hobbit, am I?” he reminded her. “I told you dwarflings are rare and that is because dwarves generally have difficulty conceiving. Many couples are married for years before they finally have a child and some never have that joy.” 

“And what if we never do?” she asked sadly. “How would you feel if I could never give you an heir?” 

“I have an heir. Two of them,” he pointed out. “Even if we were never to have our own children, Fili would remain my heir.” 

“And you wouldn’t care?” 

“Of course I’d care!” he thundered, making her wince again, to his dismay. “Of course I’d care,” he repeated, more calmly this time. “I would care that you would be hurt to never hold your own babe in your arms. I would love nothing more than for us to have a whole brood of children to love and dote on. You would make a truly wonderful mother and I wish to be able to give that to you.” He then looked at her a little sheepishly, a mix of longing and embarrassment in his eyes. “When I was recovering, I often wished that I had put a babe in your belly, even if only for an excuse to see you and bind you to me in some way,” he admitted. “Then I would realise how selfish that desire was.” 

Bella bit her lip at his confession. “When I found out I wasn’t carrying your child, I was distraught.” 

Reaching out slowly, he placed his hand on the table as if to hold her hand, though she was at the other end of it. “If you wished it, I would try every day to give you a baby. Just know that even if it never happened, it would not change how I feel about you. You are my ‘One’ and that will never change.” 

The love and sincerity in his eyes as he said that were too much for her and she put her head in her hands, unable to stem the tears for several minutes. 

Thorin sat and watched his love cry and he wanted nothing more than to leave his chair and take her in his arms and promise that he would never let anything hurt her again but he stayed put. She hadn’t given him that right yet. 

After she had calmed down a little, she muttered that she needed a drink. When Thorin offered to get her one, she waved him down and re-heated the water, pouring both of them another tea. Needing to get her emotions in some sort of order again, she fussed around the kitchen, cutting up a cake she had baked the night before and placing it on the table. Thorin’s eyes watched her the whole time but he didn’t say anything, both of them knowing she needed this moment. 

As she was sitting down again, Thorin spoke. “Bella, what I am going to say now is not meant to sound like some sort of coercion or bribery in order to get you back. It is a sincere offer that has no ulterior motive other than to let you know how you are the most important thing in my life.” 

Bella frowned, somewhat frightened of what Thorin could be speaking of. 

“I have been in The Shire for several months now and have come to appreciate the peaceful life here. As a dwarf, I will always prefer to live within the safety and solidity of mountains but I can see the appeal of a place like The Shire. I know now how difficult it must have been for you to agree to leave this behind and come live with me in Erebor. I didn’t appreciate then how much light, air and greenery meant to you and what you would have had to give up. Erebor is beautiful, or it will be when it’s fully restored, but it isn’t the natural habitat for a hobbit.” 

“What are you saying?” asked Bella, confused. 

“I’m saying that when I asked you to marry me, I was being selfish and did not give proper thought to the difficulties you would have adjusting to life under the mountain.” 

“Neither of us gave proper thought to many things, Thorin,” she pointed out. 

“I agree, which is why I want you to know that if you were to give me another chance, and if you so wished, I would be prepared to pass my crown to Fili and spend the rest of my days in The Shire, with you.” 

A shocked and horrified gasp left Bella’s lips. “Thorin! What…? How…?” 

“Bella, you were prepared to leave your life and family behind for me once. Regardless of all that has happened, I owe you more than I can say for what you did in helping me reclaim Erebor back. I would not have a kingdom to give up if it weren’t for you. It is only right that I make the same sacrifice for you, if you wish it.” 

This was too much to take in and Bella couldn’t stop shaking her head in disbelief. His mountain meant everything to him. How could he even contemplate giving it up? 

“You’re saying you _want_ to give up your throne, your home, to stay in The Shire?” 

“No, I’m not saying I want to abdicate my throne,” he replied sombrely. “I am saying that I am _willing_ to do so, if you found you could not bear to leave your home. Ideally, you would return and rule Erebor with me, as my queen, but I am giving you the option.” 

“How could I possibly ask you to give up your throne?” she wailed. “How could you lay that kind of burden on me?” 

“I did not say this to burden you, my love,” he replied sincerely. “If you were to return to Erebor I would do my utmost to make it as welcoming and comfortable as possible for you. I would have my builders build you a queen’s garden where you could plant whatever your heart desired. Anything you wanted, I would see it done. That is what I truly desire but, if you could not see yourself happy there, then I will remain here.” 

“And what would an ex-dwarf king do in Hobbiton for the rest of his days?” she asked, still overwhelmed. 

“What I have been doing already. I would continue working in the forge by day and return to you and our family by night.” 

“You would be happy to do that for however many years you lived?” she asked in disbelief. 

“If I have you, I will be happy.” 

Bella could see he was telling the truth and found she couldn’t think straight. It was too much. She could feel a headache coming on and she knew it was from all the emotions and intensity of their long discussion. 

Looking out the window, she could see that the sun had completely risen. It was still early, but it felt like it should be much later in the day. She needed to think over all that had been said. 

“Will you give me another chance, Bella? I will court you properly this time, I promise,” he asked, his eyes pleading. 

“I…I’m...I need to think about all this,” she replied, her voice hoarse from all the emotions that were warring within her. “I believe you are sincere in your remorse, Thorin. I really do, but my trust in you was broken and I don’t know how to get it back. I broke your trust as well. Can you say you fully trust me, either?” 

“I do trust you. I was hurt but I know the effect the Arkenstone can have on even the most honourable person. I will do everything in my power to build your trust in me again.” 

“Even if it takes years?” 

“As long as it takes. I can do no less,” he replied earnestly. “I long for you not to be afraid of me anymore and I know only time will do that.” 

Bella nodded in agreement before rubbing her aching temple again, a gesture Thorin didn’t fail to notice. 

“I have distressed you,” he said regretfully. “I will take my leave now.” 

He stood up and took a couple of steps towards the hallway before stopping and turning around. 

“Would…would you allow me to be your friend again?” he asked, his voice gravelly. 

Bella, who had stood up as well, gave him a small but genuine smile. “I would like that, Thorin.” 

He returned the smile and she couldn’t help catching her breath at the sight. She wondered how long it had been since he had truly smiled. 

They made their way to her front door and Bella purposely made herself stand close enough to touch him when they got to it. 

Thorin noticed and reached out his hand slowly, so as not to startle her. “May I?” he asked, indicating her own hand.   Bella bit her lip and nodded. 

Slowly, carefully, he took her fingers in his, bent at the waist as he lifted her hand and gently kissed them, the silver beads threaded into his beard, brushing her skin. 

Bella felt her lungs constrict the moment his skin touched hers, and not from fright. Shivers raced through her at the feel of his lips, and she felt the heated blush that seemed to envelop her. When she could focus again, she could tell that he was not unaffected either. His chest was rising and falling rapidly as he lowered, but didn’t let go of, her hand. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, as if speaking too loudly would destroy the tender mood between them. “May I…?” He cleared his throat once again. “May I visit you again?” 

Bella simply nodded, not quite able to speak just yet. 

With a small press of his hand, his thumb subtly caressing hers, he bid her farewell and with a last reluctant look, he left Bag End. 

As he walked down the stone steps, she called out to him. “Thank you for the flowers.” 

He nodded and gave her another smile, his eyes gleaming, before turning to open the gate. 

After shutting the door behind him, Bella slumped bonelessly back against it. Lifting her hand, she stared at it, as if by looking hard enough she would see the imprint of Thorin’s fingers. 

“Oh my!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos. I'm surprised by how many I've received and I thank all of you and hope you keep enjoying the story.


	23. Chapter 23

Thorin couldn’t help feeling somewhat buoyant as he made his way back to the forge after leaving Bella’s smial. The oppressive weight of sorrow and guilt that had burdened him from the moment he broke free of the gold sickness seemed, not gone, but lifted a little. He felt like he could breathe more freely than he had in months and it felt good.

Oh, he knew the problems between him and Bella were not resolved - not by a long way – but it seemed as if they had made a tentative start towards each other again. Thorin fully realised that Bella hadn’t forgiven him for his actions, but she had at least opened the door slightly; enough to allow him to start to make amends.

He fingered the silver bead that he always carried and wondered how long it would be before he was able to give it back to her. She had warned him that it could take a long time, maybe years, before she could trust him again. The thought was daunting. Patience was definitely not one of his virtues but for her sake, and because it was a price he deserved to pay, he would wait for however long it took.

Hadn’t he waited for decades to claim his home back? Was waiting for his beloved any less worth the effort? The fact that he would willingly give up that home was the proof of his devotion to his hobbit.

The fact that she had allowed him to kiss her hand sent a shaft of hope through him. He imagined he could still feel the tingle in his lips and hand from the contact with her skin. Her soft, dainty hand. Oh, how he wished he could kiss her lips and crush her to him and never let go. To love her so thoroughly that she would never again have any doubt of his complete and absolute adoration.

Thorin sighed and shook his head, forcing the image from his head. Beyond expectation, Bella had allowed him to touch her and it was more than he could have hoped for or dreamed of when he woke in the pre-dawn to deliver his flowers to her door. He had to be content with that for now.

He knew full well that one wrong move on his part and he could send her fleeing from him like a skittish pony. He saw the effort it had taken her to even stand that close to him at her door, though he couldn’t help the satisfaction he felt at the evidence of her blush. Despite her fear and misgivings, and all the terrible memories, he was still able at affect her physically.

His mind turned to what he was going to do now. He had been so focused on just getting Bella to speak to him that he hadn’t really planned anything after that. Seeing Bella on her doorstep, waiting for him, had been a shock. A welcome one, but still a shock.

While his first impulse was to return to Bag End this instant, he knew he couldn’t do that. Bella had agreed to let him visit her again but he knew he had to act carefully and not follow his inclinations. Patience. He had to learn patience, even if it killed him.

She wanted to be his friend again. The memory of her smile as she accepted his offer of friendship lifted his heart. Other than the Company, whom he trusted implicitly, he had never really had many friends in his lifetime. His position, first as the Crown Prince and then as the leader of his displaced people, had not been conducive to socialising much, other than for reasons of state and politics.

Whilst at Ered Luin, at least in the first few decades before he had managed to establish a workable colony, Thorin had been too focused on providing for his people, as well as fighting the pointless battle at Azanulbizar which had cost him and his sister so much, to worry about the number of friends he had. He had Balin and Dwalin and they had been enough. He then also had the added responsibility of helping Dis through her own grief whilst becoming a surrogate father for his nephews. Friendships were not something he could indulge in.

During the long, lonely hours of his convalescence, Thorin had missed Bella’s friendship almost as much as he missed her love. Once he had allowed himself to give in to the feelings he had for her, her friendship had thawed his heart even before they had declared their love for each other.

Her natural wit and banter had made him laugh, to the shock of the company when they first heard it. She made him smile, more than he ever had. Bella had liked him for his true self, not the prince or king he was. She had made him feel safe. Safe to reveal his thoughts, fears, doubts, dreams and hopes to her, knowing she wouldn’t judge him or deem him weak for it. Having to appear strong all the time was incredibly wearing and with her, and only her, he could let go, if only for a while. Their time as prisoners of Thranduil was not a happy memory but Thorin couldn’t help but feel somewhat nostalgic about it. Spending those hours with Bella, whilst in his cell, had allowed him to truly know and fall in love with her. Love her for her own sake, not just because she was his ‘one’.

Thorin hadn’t realised how much he valued her friendship until it was gone. Had she missed his friendship as well? Someone like Bella tended to make friends everywhere, so he doubted she felt as strongly about it as he did, but he couldn’t help hoping that his was a little more special to her.

Either way, he now had a chance to get it back again and he wanted to throw his head back and cry out in delight, but of course he didn’t. Only the slight twist of his lips gave away his feelings.

About to enter the forge, he encountered Dwalin and Bifur as they prepared to leave. They were going to the training paddock to practise before the hobbits arrived for their lessons. Dwalin, more keen eyed than people gave him credit for, noticed straight away the change in Thorin’s demeanour.

“What’s got you looking like a hobbit who’s fallen into a vat of cream?” asked Dwalin with a smirk. The question was somewhat rhetorical as there was only one thing, or person, who could make Thorin look like that. After months of looking like a thundercloud, it was somewhat disconcerting to Dwalin. 

“I spoke to Bella,” admitted Thorin, knowing Dwalin wouldn’t let it rest if he didn’t say anything. Besides, what was the point? They weren’t in Hobbiton for their health. 

“Oh?” replied Dwalin, while Bifur spoke rapidly behind him, nodding his head furiously in approval. 

“Yes, she allowed me inside Bag End and we talked.” 

“Don’t tell me all that poncing about with the flowers worked?” asked Dwalin with a shake of his head. 

Thorin grit his teeth but he refused to bite. “It might seem poncey to you, Dwalin, but to hobbits, flowers are a very serious thing.” 

Dwalin sniggered before grunting when Bifur punched him in the arm, remonstrating with him with his unintelligible words, even though the meaning was clear to all. 

“Never thought I’d see the day when Thorin, son of Thrain, would resort to making daisy chains to impress a girl.” 

Thorin just glared at him and turned to go inside. As he entered, Dwalin called out. “I’m happy for you Thorin.” Thorin just nodded as Bifur dragged Dwalin away, still chuckling. 

In too good a mood to stay angry, Thorin grinned to himself as he made his way to the kitchen. He knew that Dwalin was only teasing and really was pleased to see his friend making progress with Bella. 

For the first time in longer than he could remember, Thorin actually felt hungry. Since the battle - since the gold sickness, really - he had taken no real pleasure in food or felt true hunger. He only ate because his body required the fuel. Now, though, he looked forward to breakfast. 

Bofur was the only one in the kitchen when Thorin entered. He turned to greet his king and friend and stopped abruptly when he saw his face. 

“Something’s happened, hasn’t it?” asked Bofur, his eyes wide. 

Thorin nodded and walked past him to the pantry to gather some bacon and sausages to cook with his eggs. Bofur followed him, anxious to know the details. 

“Well?” 

Deciding to tease him a little, Thorin simply hummed under his breath as he got the frying pan ready. 

“I’ll go get Poppy to come yell at you if you don’t tell me,” threatened Bofur. 

Thorin turned his head to look at him, a half-smile on his face. “Bella and I finally talked.” 

“No!” breathed Bofur in surprise before sitting down. “How? It’s only still early. When did you see her?” 

“She was waiting for me to deliver my flowers this morning and invited me into Bag End.” 

Bofur stopped talking for once, his mouth hanging open, amusing Thorin. Not much shut Bofur up. 

“We talked, about many things and I finally got the chance to apologise for my behaviour,” continued Thorin as he cooked his breakfast. 

“Wow! That’s great, Thorin,” Bofur finally said. “And…how did it go?” 

Thorin shrugged. “She didn’t faint, if that’s what you’re asking.” 

Bofur snorted at that. “Well, that’s good. Isn’t it?” 

“It’s certainly an improvement,” agreed Thorin. 

Getting Thorin to open up was like drawing moisture from rock. “So, how are things between you now?” It was best to just ask straight out. 

Thorin didn’t answer right away. He plated up his breakfast, got a chunk of bread and sat down and took a couple of bites, closing his eyes in pleasure as he chewed. Bofur sat glaring at him, the impatience fairly rippling off him. Thorin finally decided to put him out of his misery. 

“Bella has allowed me to be her friend once more and to visit her. It is more than I had hoped for.” 

“Just friends?” 

“For now,” answered Thorin. “There is much hurt I need to atone for and she will need time to learn to trust me again. I’m willing to wait as long as necessary. She knows of my feelings for her and what my wishes are and what I’m willing to give up for her.” 

“And how did she react to that?” 

“She was shocked but I assured her that my intentions are genuine, if that were to be her wish.” 

“Did she forgive you?” asked Bofur. 

Thorin slowly shook his head. “No. At least, not yet. There was much for her to think on. I now need to show her the sincerity of my words so she can see that she can take a chance on me again one day. That she wants me to be her friend again fills me with joy, Bofur. She’s given me a chance. One that I don’t deserve but will take anyway. I need to woo her – properly this time. Like she deserves.” 

Bofur smiled at his friend. “I’m right pleased for you. How do you plan on wooing her?” 

Thorin shrugged his shoulders and looked at Bofur, somewhat perplexed. “I don’t know. I’ve never wooed anyone before. I do know I have to go slowly and carefully.” 

“What did you do last time? During the quest?” 

“There was no time for wooing, Bofur. You know that. The dangers and urgency of our quest precluded me from courting Bella properly. So this will be my first time,” admitted Thorin. 

Bofur nodded and scratched his beard thoughtfully. “Hmm, I see what you’re saying. Feelings were quite heightened, weren’t they?” 

“But they were no less real.” 

“No, of course not. I’m not suggesting that. I’m not much help to you, I’m afraid.” 

“What about your wooing of Poppy?” asked Thorin. 

Bofur spluttered at bit and turned slightly red. “There’s no wooing there, Thorin. We’re just friends,” he insisted, pulling on his moustache nervously. “Just friends.” 

Chuckling at little at the understatement, Thorin shook his head. “Of course,” he drawled sardonically. “Because I haven’t seen you moon over her like a teenage dwarf.” Bofur choked and began coughing in response. “And I thought _I_ was an expert in denial,” he muttered, watching Bofur regain his composure. 

“Why don’t we ask her?” exclaimed Bofur, trying to divert attention away from his lack of action with regards to the hobbit lass in question. “After all, she’s the one who suggested the flowers, and that worked, didn’t it?” 

Thorin nodded in agreement. “Yes, you have a point. When will you see her next?” 

“I’d say this afternoon when I go down to the market. Bifur has finished a new batch of toys that he wants to give to the young ones. Poppy’s usually there as well. Shall I ask her if she would pay you a visit?” 

“No,” replied Thorin. “I believe I will come with you.” 

“To the market?” asked Bofur in astonishment. Thorin had never deigned to go down to the markets before. 

“Yes.” Thorin frowned at Bofur. “Why? Is there something wrong?” 

“No! No, of course not. It’s just…you’ve never come down with us before.” 

“It’s high time I got to know all of Hobbiton, not just the forge and Bag End,” Thorin replied. “Besides, Bella goes there often.” 

Bofur laughed then. “Of course.” 

One eyebrow lifted, Thorin glanced at Bofur. “It works for you, doesn’t it?” Bofur just spluttered. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Much to his disappointment, there was no sign of Bella down at the markets by the lake. Perhaps it was for the best, he reasoned unhappily. Their conversation this morning had been very intense, after all, and she was probably in no mood to mingle with others. 

Despite his not seeing his beloved, Thorin’s presence caused quite a stir amongst the hobbits. He knew many of them from taking commissions as a smith, but those transactions and orders had taken place in the forge or Bag End. The other dwarves were a regular sight, but not Thorin. They had never seen the dwarf king wander around the stalls like an ordinary villager. 

Well, there really was nothing ‘ordinary’ about Thorin. He stood out from the crowd like a fox in a hen house. Whilst obviously not as tall as some of the human’s who occasionally visited, he was still the tallest person around, even amongst the dwarves. 

Dressed relatively casually in a simple, but well-made tunic and shirt, and without his coat, in deference to the fine day, he was an impressive figure. A number of female hearts fluttered at the sight of his handsome face but none were brave enough to approach him. He was much too intimidating for their like. Besides, all the village knew by now that Bella Baggins was the reason he was in Hobbiton. There was no harm in looking, though. Some of the villagers who had commissioned work from Thorin, respectfully greeted him, receiving acknowledging nods in return. 

As Thorin walked past the various stalls, aware of the whispers and stares he was garnering at his unexpected appearance, he was somewhat surprised at the abundance and variety of food and other items on offer. He remembered the richness of the markets of Erebor and Dale before the dragon came and had to admit that the Hobbiton markets were not lacking in comparison. Whilst the markets in Erebor had been filled with gems and finely-crafted precious metals, the ones in Hobbiton had an amazing variety of fruits and vegetables, as well as copious amounts of freshly baked goods. There were also stalls that sold cloth as well as ready-made clothes and household goods. 

It was also the bustling centre of the village and like most village markets, the central meeting place for the inhabitants. All around him was a cacophony of voices; talking, haggling and laughing as well as the occasional spat. There were many hobbits but they made way for the two dwarves, so Thorin had no problem walking freely. 

The delectable smell of a freshly baked apple pie wafted past Thorin’s nose and he was compelled to turn towards the heavenly aroma. The stall on his left had a table laden with baked goods, all looking so delicious that Thorin could not resist buying something. 

He and Bofur were arguing the merits of the apple turnover as opposed to the blackberry pie when they were tapped on the shoulder. Thorin was momentarily tempted to demand who had the temerity to touch him in such a manner before remembering where he was and realising the identity of the offender. 

Primula stood behind them with a basket on her arm and a slightly chagrined smile on her face as she gazed at Thorin. 

Thorin bowed his head in greeting. “Mrs Baggins.” 

“Oh, hey there, Prim,” echoed Bofur. 

Primula shook her head ruefully. “When are you going to learn to call me Primula?” she chided Thorin. 

“Forgive me. Habit,” explained Thorin with a shrug, which she waved away. 

“This is a surprise, my lord. I had given up hope that I would see you down here,” teased Primula gently, a knowing smile on her face. Thorin couldn’t help the faint flush that suffused his face. 

“It was about time I really got to know the village,” he said, attempting to prevent her blurting out the reason for the change in his behaviour. 

“Of course,” she replied. Teasing the dwarf king was fun but Primula wisely decided that it wasn’t a good idea to push it too far. Besides, she liked him, despite his gruff manner. She had witnessed the tenderness with which he treated Bella the night she returned and she guessed she was privileged to be one of very few to have seen that side of him. 

“If you’re trying to decide what to buy, I’d strongly recommend you get the blackberry pie. Bolto makes the best blackberry pie in all the Shire, probably even Middle Earth,” she said, nodding to the grinning baker. 

“Blackberry pie it is!” exclaimed Bofur, turning to purchase three pies. 

“I saw Bella just now,” said Primula, gaining Thorin’s full attention. 

Blue eyes bore into hers, making her briefly forget her train of thought. How on earth did Bella even manage to get a single intelligible word out when he looked at her? “How was she?” he asked a little anxiously. 

“She was fine. Just a little tired and was going to have a quiet day,” she reassured him. Primula saw the worry fade from his face. “She told me she had talked to you this morning,” she confided. “I’m glad. For both of you. It was time.” 

“Did she tell you what we discussed?” Despite being quite fond of Primula, the thought of his personal affairs and feelings being discussed made him extremely uncomfortable. 

“No. Bella wouldn’t do that and it’s none of my business, anyway. She just told me that she had finally decided to allow you inside so you could talk things over. I had been urging her to do that since she came back. I hope some things were resolved between you.” 

Bofur had turned back with the pastries, so Thorin asked Primula if there was anywhere nearby where they could sit. Primula led them away from the main stalls and towards the Green Dragon where there were a few tables and benches. Once they had finished the pies, which Thorin conceded were the best he’d ever tasted, Bofur stood and said he was going to look for Poppy. 

Thorin was grateful for Bofur’s tact in this instance. He’d knew that, in Primula, he had another ally in his quest to win back Bella. One that most likely knew Bella better than he did. 

He cleared his throat nervously before speaking and it struck him how much he had changed since meeting Bella. He would never in his wildest dreams have contemplated asking someone to help him with his relationship problems. He’d never even _had_ any romantic inclinations before. He would have sooner cut off his own head before revealing any weakness. 

Meeting Bella, finding his ‘one’, had pushed aside the need to maintain his stiff-necked pride and get advice from others who may actually be able to help him. 

“I assume,” he started, then paused nervously. “I assume that you are aware of what happened between Bella and myself. What I did.” Primula nodded. “Then you know why Bella reacted so violently when she returned home.” Just thinking about it brought the guilt back so intensely that he would almost feel ill, but he forced himself to push it away, for now. 

“I have been wishing to give Bella my most sincere apologies for my behaviour and to try to explain my actions, however reprehensible they were. Finally, this morning, she allowed me to do that.” 

“And did she accept your apology?” she asked gently. 

“Yes. No. I’m not sure,” he admitted. “Not completely, anyway. Which is more than I deserve.” 

“It will take time, Thorin,” said Primula. 

“I’m very aware of that. And I’m prepared to wait and work for her full forgiveness. I will do that happily. Bella has given me the chance to make amends and I’m beyond grateful.” 

“I’m glad. For both of you. You are both miserable without each other.” 

“I have to earn her trust again. Even if I never regain her trust completely, I have to try. I don’t ever want to see her flinch from me again,” he confessed. 

“I wish you the best of luck,” said Primula, sincerely. 

Thorin acknowledged her kind words before pushing aside any embarrassment he felt over what he was going to admit next. 

“I wish to woo and court Bella again. Properly, this time.” 

Primula was a little perplexed by his words. “What do you mean by ‘properly’?” 

“I was never able to court Bella the way she deserves. There was no time, we were in fear for our lives most of the time and I spent half the journey fighting my feelings and being an absolute troll towards her.” 

Primula couldn’t help the small giggle that erupted from her lips at the last bit before composing herself when she caught Thorin’s glare. “Yes, Bella told me some of it.” 

“Then you know that we somewhat ‘fell’ into the relationship without any of the customs and rituals that are usually adhered to by courting couples.” 

Primula knew that Bella and Thorin’s relationship had been passionate and intense and that some would be shocked by that knowledge, but she couldn’t judge them. Besides, many a hobbit couple had anticipated their wedding night. As long as the couple were discreet about it, most turned a blind eye. 

“So, now you want to correct that oversight?” she asked, seeking clarification. 

Thorin nodded. “Yes, exactly. I want to woo her, do the things a male does to show his love how he feels about her. I want her to know that, to me, she is precious and I wish to make her feel adored. I hope that by doing this, she will learn to trust me again and agree to be mine again.” 

“Have you told her how you feel?” 

“Yes. She knows of my love for her and of my desire for us to be united in marriage but I need to show her. Words are not enough. Not now. I need to prove my devotion,” insisted Thorin. 

“How are you going to do that?” 

Thorin seemed to deflate in front of her at question. “I do not know.” 

“Huh?” 

He looked at her earnestly. “I was…I was hoping you would have some ideas.” 

“Me? What do you mean? Don’t dwarves have courting rituals you could follow?” she asked in genuine puzzlement. “What’s worked for you before?” 

Thorin reddened and looked at the table before answering. “I…I have never attempted to woo anyone before.” 

Primula gaped at him in disbelief. “You mean…you mean, Bella was…your…first?” she whispered. 

Thorin looked at her and realised what she was implying. Mahal, could this conversation become any more mortifying? 

“No! That was not what I meant. One can…you know…without feelings. I meant Bella is the first person I have ever loved and wanted to court with the intention of marriage. If Erebor had not been taken, I would have eventually learnt the rituals of courting from my father but once we were homeless, survival was the only thing of importance. Then it was building a new life and then it was reclaiming Erebor. If I hadn’t met Bella, I would never have bothered.” 

“I see,” replied Primula, flushing with embarrassment herself. As if Thorin would have been celibate all those years! The way he looked? “Can’t the others give you some advice?” 

Thorin snorted. “They’re worse than me. None of them has a wife and Bofur’s even more inept than I am.” 

“What about Fili and Kili? They’re very popular with the lasses.” 

“Taking advice from those two whelps? I think not.” 

“Why me, then?” she asked. 

“Because you know Bella well, you’re a hobbit and you’re a female. What did Drogo do to woo you?” 

“Oh, well, it was a little different with us,” she replied. 

“How?” 

“Well, we’ve known each other all our lives and we somehow always knew we would wed each other.” 

“Surely he still did romantic things?” he said sceptically. 

Primula shrugged a little. “I suppose so. He did like cooking for me and would make me little treats.” 

“This is what I’m speaking of. What things can I do to woo my Bella? I plan to continue leaving flowers at her door…” 

“Oh! That was so lovely!” exclaimed Primula with a happy grin. “She’s kept the flowers, you know?” 

It was impossible to miss the pleasure on Thorin’s face that news caused. “She has?” he asked, stroking his beard in thought. 

“Yes. She presses them into her favourite books. It’s so sweet.” She tilted her head as she contemplated the handsome dwarf. “I don’t really think you need too many ideas from me. I’m sure you can think of what to do. When she comes to the markets next, why don’t you offer to accompany her and help her take her purchases home? She’d be bound by manners to invite you in for refreshments.” 

“Yes, that is a good idea. What of jewellery? Do you think if I made her some rings and necklaces, that would impress her?” 

Primula scrunched her face a little. “Hobbits prefer simpler things. I’m not saying she won’t like jewellery but not all the time. We don’t wear much, as you can see.” 

“Wear much of what?” 

Unnoticed by either of them, Bofur had returned and was now accompanied by Poppy. She had just caught the tail end of the conversation and couldn’t contain her curiosity, especially after Bofur had told her the good news about Thorin. 

“Hello, Poppy,” greeted Primula, giving the other hobbit a kiss on the cheek.  

The newcomers promptly sat down and Poppy gave Thorin a great big grin that made him look at her a little cautiously. 

“Sooo…I heard that a certain someone finally spoke to a certain someone else?” teased Poppy, much to the others’ amusement, if not Thorin’s, who gave her his customary glare. Unfortunately for him, Poppy was now immune to it and just chuckled. “Seriously though, I’m happy for you.” 

“Thank you,” 

Poppy turned to Primula. “So, what were you talking about? Did you know the flowers were my idea, Prim?” 

“Really? Well, it was an inspired one,” praised Primula. “Thorin here wanted my advice on how to woo Bella.” 

Poppy turned back to Thorin, excitement written all over her face. “She’s agreed to let you court her?” 

This was getting more embarrassing by the moment and only the thought of the reward at the end stopped Thorin from stalking off. 

“Not exactly,” he replied. “She is allowing me to be her friend again. I now wish to court her properly but I am not knowledgeable in the ways of courting hobbit lasses.” 

“I see,” said Poppy, thinking furiously. “Prim, we are going to have to have a think about this.” 

“Yes. We have to do all we can to get those two together,” she agreed. 

The two hobbits then virtually forgot about the dwarves as they discussed ideas. Thorin and Bofur sat watching bemusedly at the enthusiasm showed for this new venture. 

“Well, if you don’t get Bella back, it won’t be for lack of trying or ideas,” remarked Bofur. 

“Agreed.” 

Looking at him, Thorin gave a slight shake of his head. “I don’t know if asking for their help was the best course of action.” 

“Me neither,” shrugged Bofur, his eyes not leaving Poppy’s laughing face. 

“You know,” smirked Thorin, glancing at his friend. “You could learn a few tips yourself, Bofur.” 

The look on Bofur’s face was almost worth the embarrassment of laying his personal affairs out so openly. 

Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks once again for all the kudos, comments and views. They're very much appreciated. My next chapter may take a little longer as I complete a course which involves a lot of assignments but I would never abandon this story.
> 
> If any of you are interested, I have published a one-shot called 'Punishment' but be warned, it is very smutty and does not tie in with this story.


	24. Chapter 24

Thus it was that Thorin found himself in Primula’s kitchen that afternoon taking instruction on how to bake biscuits. If the dwarves of Erebor could see him now, he’d be the laughing stock of the mountain but if it helped in his wooing of Bella, well, it was a necessary evil.

Primula and Poppy, after discussing tactics for nigh on fifteen minutes, had turned their calculating gazes on Thorin, much to his discomfort.

“We have come up with some ideas for you,” began Primula.

“Yes, but you’ll probably be able to come up with a few more,” nodded Poppy.

Thorin didn’t say anything, just lifted one brow in query.

“Now, I don’t know if you know this, but hobbits take three things very seriously,” stated Primula.

“Food, flowers and family,” interrupted Thorin. “Yes, Bella mentioned it while on our quest.”

“Good, then we won’t have to explain it all to you again,” nodded Primula in satisfaction. “You seem to be doing well in two of those areas; the flowers and family.” At Thorin’s look, she elaborated. “You’ve done wonderfully with the flowers – that was inspired, Poppy – and you need to continue with that. Not necessarily how you’ve been doing it, but with giving her flowers with meaning, either directly or by some other means. Then there’s family. Drogo and I are Bella’s closest friends as well as being family and we consider you our friend too, and that will stand you in good stead with her.”

Thorin inclined his head in acknowledgement and thanks. “You and your husband have been most gracious to my company and I from the beginning and you will always have my gratitude and esteem, regardless of how things end with Bella.”

Primula beamed at the dwarf and nearly reached out to pat his hand but quickly stopped herself. Even though he was looking to her for help and advice, he was still a king and it would be unseemly to touch royalty without their permission.

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” she replied. “You honour us with your regard. I will continue to assist you as I believe Bella will only be happy when you are together again. And, I like you too,” she added cheekily, earning herself a smile, which nearly took her breath away. She heard Poppy’s sharp intake of breath and smiled inwardly. _Eru above, Bella, you’d be crazy to let him go_ , she thought to herself.

“So, the only thing you haven’t addressed is food,” continued Primula after she’d recovered from that smile.

“Yes, and we hobbits love our food,” nodded Poppy.

“Aye, I remember Bella complaining bitterly at times when she couldn’t have ‘second breakfast’ on the quest. Poor thing, going through Mirkwood was particularly hard on her when we ran out of food,” remarked Bofur.

“Oh, that would have been torture for her,” agreed Primula. “As I said, food is as, or even more, important than flowers for a hobbit. We express our care, love and affection with food. Even with those we don’t like, we still share our food and it’s considered terribly bad manners not to offer visitors something to eat, even if they were not invited.”

“So Bella would have to offer food to that Sackville-Baggins harpy if she came calling?” asked Thorin, outraged at the thought.

“I suppose an exception would be made in that case,” admitted Primula. “I doubt any villager would expect Bella to invite her in.”

“Should think not,” agreed Poppy. “Everyone knows they hate each other.”

“She would not dare show her face anywhere near Bag End,” growled Thorin menacingly.

“Oh, I wish I had seen that!” exclaimed Poppy with a giggle. “I love the thought of Lobelia getting her come-uppance.”

“Thorin certainly did that,” laughed Bofur. “Thought her head was going to explode, it went so purple.” They all roared with laughter and even Thorin smirked in amusement.

Gathering her composure again, Primula continued. “Anyway, the point is that you incorporate the use of food in your wooing of Bella.”

“By giving her food?” asked Thorin in confusion.

“Not just any food,” she shook her head. “Bella can get her own. No, little treats here and there. Some nice biscuits or a lovely tart or cake.”

“Cook something for her,” interrupted Poppy.

“Something you made would surely impress her,” agreed Primula. “If she offers you food, make a fuss of it and tell her how wonderful her cooking is. She’ll be terribly flattered.”

Thorin looked at the two hobbits as they began enthusiastically talking about their favourite foods and treats and what they knew Bella liked, then looked at an equally bemused Bofur. When they began naming dishes and he had no idea what they were, he decided to interrupt them.

“Ladies, stop,” he commanded. They instantly ceased their chatter at his tone. “I think your idea is a sound one and I will endeavour to find the tastiest treats for Bella but I have never cooked a thing in my life, other than camp food, so I doubt I will be baking anything with my own hands.”

“Oh, we can teach you!” exclaimed Primula. “Just think how much more impressed and flattered Bella would be if your offering was made by you. It’s always so much more personal and thoughtful when it’s made from your efforts. A gift forged by you would have much more meaning than one you bought, wouldn’t it? It’s the same with food.”

Poppy chimed in as they both tried to convince Thorin that they could teach him some simple recipes, despite his protests. He could hear Bofur chuckling beside him and gave him a glowering look, which was ignored.

What level had he sunk to? And all for the love of a hobbit.

In the end, their persistence and the thought of Bella’s face when he presented her with something he had made, meant that he was now standing in Primula’s kitchen, covered in flour, pulling out a tray of slightly over-cooked honey biscuits from her oven. It was the third batch he’d made and it was the first edible one.

The first batch had been rock hard. “Oh, I think you kneaded it too much,” explained Primula as she carefully spat out the piece before she chipped a tooth. He had accidentally tipped salt instead of sugar into the next one and he almost gagged when he took a bite, causing Primula to giggle at the disgust on his face. At least they didn’t resemble something Ori could have used as a weapon.

“They look good, Thorin,” said Primula as she inspected the new batch. “A little too long in the oven, but still edible. A little more practice and you’ll get these perfect.”

Thorin couldn’t help the tiny ripple of satisfaction that ran through him. _Oh, how Dwalin will enjoy this_ , he thought in resignation. It was agreed that Thorin would visit Primula’s house every day, if possible, so that she could teach him more cooking skills and he could practise. He needed her oven anyway, as the forge didn’t have one.

When Dwalin saw the flour in his hair that he’d missed, despite his valiant efforts at concealing his whereabouts, he almost fell off the chair in amusement.

_Think of Bella_ , he told himself as he fought off embarrassment. _Think of Bella_.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Opening her front door the next morning, the first thing Bella spotted was a small bunch of violets, bound by the familiar blue ribbon. Picking it up, she smiled wistfully as she held it to her nose and breathed in their delicate fragrance. Loyalty, devotion and faithfulness. She had no doubt that Thorin genuinely felt these things. Dwarves were loyal to a fault, especially to those they loved. After their talk yesterday, she didn’t know if he would continue leaving flowers, and she couldn’t deny the thrill of pleasure she felt at finding this posy.

Bella had spent all day yesterday thinking over their conversation. It ran through her head over and over. The memory of the emotions on Thorin’s face kept her awake until very late. He had made no effort to disguise the love, despair, sorrow, remorse and hope he felt as they talked. He had made his feelings and wishes clear. ]

Her own heart ached with similar emotions, with the added element of fear, which she hated. She knew it hurt him every time she had flinched in his presence but she had been unable to help herself. His gentle actions at the end, though, showed her he didn’t hold her reactions against her.

He had begged her forgiveness with an utter sincerity that Bella could not deny. The problem was not forgiving, it was the forgetting. She knew she would forgive him, if she hadn’t already, but it was trying to erase the memory of his violence that she struggled with. If there was any hope for them, she had to conquer that fear.

Then she thought about Thorin’s extraordinary offer to leave his home and make a life here with her, if she wanted it. She believed him when he stated that it wasn’t an emotional bribe of any sort, but it didn’t lessen the magnitude of the offer and the burden on her. To ask a king to give up his kingdom … It was too much to cope with at the moment, so she pushed it to the back of her mind as much as she was able, but she couldn’t help but be impressed by the devotion it showed on his part.

Much easier to think about was his request to be friends again. She smiled as she thought about the wistful look in his eyes as he spoke. Her acceptance of his friendship was easy… she had missed it terribly. As well as being in love with him, she had come to genuinely like him as well. She felt she knew a Thorin that very few, if any, knew. His intelligence, his carefully hidden sense of humour, his deep caring for his loved ones and his people which he shielded with a gruff, hard exterior. She had friendships in the Shire, of course, but the bond with Thorin was one she hadn’t known before and she had mourned its loss dreadfully.

Then there was his sheer physical appeal. Her breath caught as she thought about him. He was still so beautiful to her, even with the longer beard. When he spoke, she had to force herself to stop staring at his lips and daydream about what those lips could make her feel. She could imagine his strong body under his clothes and the pleasure he gave her and she couldn’t help the small moan that left her as she felt the tingling between her legs. It had been so long and he was so close.

Her head and body were waging war with each other – her body wanted him desperately while her head was still wary. The only way she could deal with it was to take things one day at a time.

After placing the violets in water, Bella grabbed her basket and headed out to the market. She was still enduring the speculative looks from her neighbours but tried to not let it bother her. Having the dwarves here was helpful in a way as they were now known around the village and it was not such a mystery as to why she would leave Hobbiton with them.

She went first to where Bifur customarily entertained the little ones with his toys and greeted him warmly, nodding at his unintelligible words and admiring the toy he was currently working on. Giving him a quick hug, she carried on to inspect the produce. Before she had even purchased a single item, she was engulfed in a hug, knowing it was Kili without looking. None of the other dwarves would greet her like that.

“Kili! Let go,” she laughed, playfully slapping his hand away. “Hello Fili, Ori.”

“Good morning Bella,” said Fili and Ori together, bowing deeply before straightening with deep grins.

“What are you doing here?” she asked the three young dwarves.

“We were hungry,” replied Ori. “The meat pies here are delicious.”

Bella smiled at them fondly. “They certainly are. And you must try Mistress Bracegirdle’s strawberry tarts. They are simply divine.”

“Oh, yes!” exclaimed Kili. “We’ll get some before we go to training. We can work them off.”

“Dwalin thinks we’re going to get fat and lazy,” explained Fili at Bella’s enquiring look. “He has us running drills every day.”

“And he’s teaching some of the hobbits to fight,” added Ori.

“That’s right. Primula did tell me about that. How are they getting on?”

“Well, they’re not dwarves,” replied Kili with a wry grin, “but Dwalin thinks he can whip them into some sort of shape.”

“You should have seen them when we first started,” chuckled Fili. “Could barely hold a wooden sword. I think Dwalin despaired of them, but, to their credit, they keep going and a few are showing some skill.”

“It helped when Thorin finished the swords,” said Ori.

“Swords?”

“He forged hobbit-sized swords and axes for them. Fashioned them on your sword, Bella,” replied Kili. Bella smiled at this show of generosity on Thorin’s part. She would have to get up to the training grounds and see for herself.

The three dwarves kept Bella company as she made her purchases, making her laugh with their delight over the strawberry tarts. She would have to make some for them to take back to the forge. Thorin would enjoy them.

Her heart skipped a beat at the thought. Would Thorin know the significance of giving food? No, she decided. He would think nothing more than it being a friendly gesture on her part. They were going to be friends again, weren’t they?

After finishing the tarts, they gave her a kiss on her cheek and raced off to meet Dwalin. Ori had explained how even he was not allowed to miss training, even if he didn’t fight with a sword or axe.

Her mood lightened by her encounter with the boys, Bella finished getting her groceries and made her way back towards Bag End. She was waylaid by a neighbour and was chatting with her so didn’t notice the figure that appeared behind her until the hobbit curtseyed and bid her a quick farewell. With a puzzled frown and shrug, Bella turned around and nearly ran into the tall figure of Thorin.

“Oh!” she exclaimed in surprise. “I’m sorry, I didn’t notice you there.”

“No, I’m sorry I startled you,” replied Thorin with a gentle smile, his eyes roving all over her face, as if taking in every detail. Her heart began racing at his nearness and she had to tell herself to calm down.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments as they just looked at each other until Thorin broke it by indicating her full basket. “May I help you with that?”

Bella noticed that he didn’t move his hand or make any sudden gestures and was grateful. Deciding she needed to make an effort, she smiled at him and held out the basket. “Thank you. It was getting a little heavy, I must admit.”

Thorin took the basket effortlessly. “Were you heading home?” he enquired. “Or do you need to continue your errands? I’m taking a break from the forge so I can accompany you if you wish,” he informed her hopefully.

“No, I’m done for the day. I was on my way home.”

“Then I will carry these for you. That is…if you…wish,” he replied, uncertainty lacing his words.

Bella’s heart was no match for the boyish look of yearning on his face as he spoke. “I’d like that.” Her reward was the gleam of his even, white teeth as he smiled at her, even if it took her breath away. Did he realise how handsome he looked when he smiled?

The first few minutes were somewhat stilted until Bella asked him about the restoration of Erebor. Thorin spoke enthusiastically of all that had been accomplished in the time from the battle until he left to come to Hobbiton. “I feel hopeful that with time and hard work, Erebor will be what it once was.”

“I’m so glad, Thorin,” she replied sincerely. “And when did you expect the caravans from Ered Luin?”

“The first ones would have arrived a few months ago and the rest should be steadily arriving now.”

“How are you able to leave Erebor for so long?” she asked. “Surely you are needed there?”

They had been slowly walking up the path towards Bag End, talking amicably but at Bella’s question, Thorin stopped and turned toward her. “Yes, I’m needed there, but my need to see you was greater than any other consideration. That may seem selfish to you, but it is the truth,” he replied seriously, all light-heartedness gone.

Bella couldn’t say a word in reply. The intensity in his eyes confirmed his words.

Once again, Bella felt the weight of his offer to remain here and couldn’t help the slight feeling of panic. As if sensing her distress, Thorin decided to lighten the mood once again. He told her of his intention for Fili to run Erebor with Balin’s help and how that turned out.

Bella was soon giggling as Thorin described his reaction to seeing his nephews after leaving Erebor and how they tiptoed around his temper for days, especially when Dwalin turned up.

“Oh, I can imagine you terrified them,” laughed Bella. “I know you terrified me a time or two.”

“Well, they did disobey me,” he defended himself. “I can’t have them believing they can just ignore my commands whenever they want.”

“You’re just a softy when it comes to those boys,” she replied with a fond smile. “And you know it.”

Thorin turned his head as if to see if anyone were in hearing range, before leaning down towards her and whispering in her ear. “Please don’t reveal my secret, I beg you.”

A shiver of sensation raced down her spine at his nearness and the feel of his breath against her skin. She didn’t even notice that she didn’t flinch from him. Pulling herself together, she laughed a little breathlessly. “That’s two secrets of yours I hold now,” she teased.

“Two?”

“Have you forgotten I beat you in combat at Beorn’s?”

Thorin gave a fake groan before chuckling softly. “You’ll never let me live that down, will you?”

“Definitely not,” she replied cheekily. “I need all the leverage I can get.”

They had arrived back at Bag End and Bella found she didn’t want him to go yet. Despite the tense moment earlier, she had enjoyed his company. He was so different to how she had known him before but, then, so was she. Being fearful for your life and attempting such a daunting task as regaining your home from a dragon, would make a person much more sombre.

“Would…would you like to come in for a refreshment, to thank you for carrying the basket?” she asked shyly.

Thorin smiled a little regretfully. “I thank you for the offer, Bella, but I must return to my forge. I only meant to take a short break.”

“I’m sorry I kept you,” she replied fretfully. “You should have said something.”

“Please, Bella,” he stopped her, lifting his hand as if to take her hand before lowering it. “I have enjoyed your company very much. I’m grateful you allowed me to accompany you. I will take this inside and then I will take my leave.”

She followed him back outside, looking at the strong lines of his back and his hair flowing over his shoulders, her hands itching to touch it again. She took hold her hands in order to prevent herself reaching out.

On her front step, Thorin once again asked if he could take her hand and she couldn’t help the eagerness she felt as she held it out to him. As before, he bent over and kissed her hand and she didn’t imagine his lingering slightly as his lips touched her skin, before straightening.

“Would you…would you like to come to dinner tomorrow?” she found herself asking before she even realised she was speaking. His eyebrows rose in surprise at her question. “You and the others would be most welcome,” she clarified hastily, in case he thought she meant just the two of them.

Thorin bowed his head in acknowledgment of the invite. “I thank you most warmly for your kind invitation, Bella. My company and I would be most pleased to join you for dinner tomorrow,” he replied formally, a slight grin on his face.

“That will be lovely,” she replied. “I look forward to seeing you then.”

Bella hadn’t realised that he had not let go of her hand until he squeezed it gently before releasing it and taking his leave.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Thorin’s euphoria lasted all that day and the next, even through Primula’s baking lesson, which was where he was really headed after walking with Bella. She sensed something straight away, but he didn’t want to share with her just yet. He wanted to savour the moment, for a while anyway.

Next time he saw Poppy, he would have to thank her, as it was through her efforts that he ‘happened’ to come across Bella. In truth, Poppy had enlisted a couple of young hobbits to race to the forge and inform him of Bella’s presence at the market. Quickly cleaning himself up, he had made his way to the market, spotting her talking to another hobbit, a full basket on her arm.

He slowly made his way towards her, taking in every detail, from the top of her tawny hair, the curls shining brightly in the sun, over her pretty dress, noting her small waist which his hands itched to span, down to her feet, adorably covered in hair slightly darker than that on her head. He sighed inwardly. All he wanted was to take her in his arms and hold her. He wanted the right to do so again so badly he ached.

Their ‘chance’ encounter had turned out so much better than he’d hoped for and if he was slightly disappointed that her dinner invitation was for all the dwarves, he didn’t dwell on it. He would be in her presence again and that was what mattered.

His mood was so elated that even Dwalin’s teasing as they sparred couldn’t dampen it.

“So, what treats have you baked for us?” teased Dwalin as he aimed a strike at Thorin’s knee, which was deftly parried. “I prefer cinnamon spiced cakes, if you’re taking orders.”

Thorin ignored the jibe, making his own move. As usual, they drew a small crowd, not noticing the admiring glances, both male and female. After an hour, sweaty and tired, they made their way back to the forge.

“We’ve been invited to Bag End for dinner tomorrow night,” stated Thorin, deadpan.

Dwalin pulled up short, disbelief on his face as he stared at Thorin. “Bag End?”

Thorin nodded, hiding his amusement.

“At Bella Baggins’ home?” Another nod. “You included?”

“ _Yes_ , I’m included,” growled Thorin.

“Well, bless my beard, it looks like you’re actually getting somewhere with all this lovey-dovey stuff,” snorted Dwalin.

“Seems so.”

“Ah, I’ll look forward to some more of Bella’s cooking. Still remember that meal at Bag End,” Dwalin reminisced.

“Probably more fondly than Bella does,” said Thorin wryly.

“Aye. Poor thing was right put out that night,” chuckled Dwalin.

The dwarves had all made an effort with their appearance in preparation for dinner at Bag End. Their hair had been neatly combed and/or re-braided and the metal on their clothes had been highly polished. Thorin had brushed out his fur coat and he wore his best tunic. He wanted to impress Bella. He hadn’t missed her reaction to his physical appearance and wanted to capitalise on it. Whatever worked in his favour.

He threatened all of them to be on their best behaviour tonight. “If any of you even attempt to walk on Bella’s table, I will throw you out myself,” he warned, looking pointedly at Fili.

“Oi, we have manners,” protested Bofur. “When we want.”

“Well, tonight, you will use them,” ordered Thorin.

“You’ll be wanting us to act like elves, soon,” grumbled Dwalin.

“Bella’s used to our manners, uncle,” interjected Kili. “She says we’re much more fun than elves.”

Thorin glared at his nephews. “You are royalty, from the line of Durin, and you will use all those manners that your mother and I have tried to instil in you and which I know you possess.” _Somewhere in there_ , he muttered to himself.

Unlike the first time that dwarves knocked on Bella’s door, this time she opened the green door with a smile on her face. “Welcome. Don’t you all look smart?” she greeted them.

“And we didn’t even need a sign on the door,” quipped Bofur.

“And uncle didn’t get lost even once this time,” joked Fili, making Bella giggle and earning himself another glare from his uncle.

Thorin stood back and allowed the others to enter before him, watching as they bowed before either kissing her cheek, or, in Kili’s case, giving her a hug.

Dwalin was the only one to hesitate. They had not parted on good terms after the battle and he still felt guilty about it. He was the only dwarf that Bella had not had a chance to really speak to since her return, choosing to stay away, either from guilt or loyalty to Thorin.

“Dwalin,” smiled Bella, a little nervously. “It’s good to see you.”

To Thorin’s surprise, Dwalin bowed deeply before Bella before straightening. “It is good to see you too. I regret how our last meeting went and would like to make amends.”

Bella gaped at him before quickly pulling herself together. “It is forgotten, Dwalin. It was a terrible time for all of us and I hope we can be friends again.”

In response, Dwalin took Bella’s head between his hands and gently bumped his forehead with hers, in the dwarven tradition of friendship. Bella’s eyes glistened as she smiled up at the large dwarf before he turned to make his way inside.

Thorin stepped closer and she gave him a shy smile. “Hello, Thorin.”

Gently taking her hand, Thorin raised it to his lips, marvelling once again at the softness of her skin. “You look lovely,” he said softly, pleased to see the blush which bloomed on her cheeks.

“Th…thank you,” she replied. “And you…look very…handsome.”

He bowed his head in acknowledgment of her compliment and watched as she fiddled nervously with her apron before turning to lead him into the parlour, where the others were waiting.

“I’m so glad you came,” declared Bella. “Unlike last time, I’ve prepared food and there’s plenty of it.” The dwarves chuckled at Bella’s reference to their unexpected invasion all those months ago. “But don’t you dare blunt my knives or bend my forks!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for taking so long with this chapter. Life hit me like a steamtrain and it's only now slowed down enough for me to keep going. I promise I will definitely finish this story, as I hate unfinished stories myself.
> 
> Thank you to all who have been leaving kudos recently and it really motivated me to get my bum into gear again!


	25. Chapter 25

Thorin’s wooing of Bella began in earnest after the dinner at Bag End.

The flowers continued arriving each morning, much to Bella’s secret delight, and each one seemed to carry a more ardent meaning than the last. They all proclaimed Thorin’s hope, devotion, and steadfast love.

  
Somehow, he always seemed to appear at the market when she was there and would carry her basket around the stalls. He would buy little treats that Primula had told him Bella liked and most times found them sitting at one of the benches outside the Green Dragon eating and enjoying a refreshing drink.

  
Once, after Bella had returned home, she had emptied her basket and found a dozen ribbons, in various colours, wrapped around a yellow rose bud, which signified affection. When had he put that in there? The smile he gave her when he saw her wearing one in her hair the next day had sent a rush of longing through her.

  
As yet, Thorin had made no attempt to touch her other than kissing her hand and almost always after seeking her consent. A number of times, he had moved as if to take her hand or touch her before he would remember himself, and pull back.

  
His restraint and obvious desire to respect her boundaries, despite the yearning he could not hide, made Bella both grateful and extremely frustrated and she hated herself for it.

  
She wanted nothing more than to drag him into Bag End, divest both of their clothing and make love with him for hours, days or even weeks and yet, she couldn’t let go of the lingering fear of the gold-sickness returning, and with it the possibility of violence, despite his certainty that he would never let it affect him again.

  
Here, in Hobbiton, there was no gold to test his resolve but what if she did return with him to Erebor? Could she take that risk? That question led her mind to the option of staying here, with him, but then would she feel the guilt of making him give up his birthright?

  
Bella felt like she was going around in circles with no resolution within her grasp.

  
* * * * * * * * * *

  
Spring had taken a strong grip on the Shire, and with it came the planning and preparation for the annual party to celebrate the end of the cold winter and to ask Yavanna for her blessings for a good harvest this year. It was held down by the party tree and hobbits from all the surrounding villages came to enjoy the food, wine and revelry of the occasion. There was usually dancing until all hours of the night and many a hobbit had woken up to find themselves amongst the flowers and shrubs of someone’s garden.

  
With a month to go before the party, Bella got a visit from Lily Cotton, who led the Committee which organised the party and was asked to donate a number of dishes for the feast. This was the usual practice as every household contributed in some way; whether it be by cooking, preparing drinks, setting up and decorating or helping on the night.

  
Bella had missed last year’s celebration so readily volunteered to bake a number of treats. As she made a list of what she would need, her mind wandered to Thorin.

  
Would he attend the party? She had no doubt the other dwarves would have a grand time – after all, hobbits did know how to party – but would he join in? Would he dance? Would she dance with him? If she didn’t, would he dance with others? How would she feel about that?

  
She shook the thought away. It was too far away to worry about yet. Instead, she decided to make some fruit tarts to give to the dwarves. Thorin had devoured the pear tart she had made when they had dinner at Bag End, his eyes closing in rapture as he took the first bite.

  
Bella had felt her temperature rise at the look on his face. He had a similar expression whenever he would first take her as they made love and she had had to hurriedly excuse herself on the pretext of needing to get something from the kitchen. There, she had agitatedly fanned herself with a tea towel before walking back to the dining room where a chorus of compliments had washed over her.

  
The dinner had been so much fun and Bella hadn’t realised how long it had been since she’d had such a good time. The first dinner didn’t count as she’d been too stressed over having her home invaded by strange dwarves to enjoy any of it. Much of the journey had been spent desperately trying to stay alive to consider it fun. There had been good moments, especially in Laketown, but none of it had been the rollicking, laughter-filled, joyous occasion of that night.

  
At first, Bella had been puzzled at the somewhat stilted and wooden behaviour of the dwarves, particularly the young ones. She had been expecting them to dive into the food in the manner she had become used to but instead, they had been so unnaturally polite that she couldn’t help but wonder if she had made a mistake. When Dwalin had picked up his cutlery and had asked Bifur to pass the potatoes, Bella couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

  
“What is the matter with you all?” she had asked, her brow furrowed in bafflement.

  
“What do you mean?” replied Thorin, his eyes scanning the table to see what misdemeanour his company had committed.

  
“This!” She waved to the dwarves holding knives and forks as delicately as they could. “What is with the ‘pleases’ and ‘thank-yous’? Since when do you have table manners? I’m beginning to think I’m dining with elves. It’s…it’s…unnatural!”

  
As one, all the dwarves looked at Thorin, who looked down at his plate in abashment.

  
“Uncle said we were to be on our best behaviour,” spoke Kili, looking at Thorin reproachfully.

  
“Why ever for?” asked Bella.

  
“I wanted to show you that dwarves are as capable of having manners as any race,” he admitted. “And I didn’t want a repeat of what happened last time.”

  
Bella just stared at him in bemusement for a moment. “I spent nearly a year in your company. There’s really not much that can shock me about dwarven behaviour anymore. For goodness’ sake, just be yourselves! I want you all to enjoy our time tonight. Yes,” she looked at Fili when she spoke. “I would prefer that you didn’t walk all over my table covered with food – and I can do without a food fight – but, please, can we have some fun?”

  
A loud ‘whoop’ from the dwarves signalled a return to their customary behaviour and from then on there was a lot of rowdy talk and laughter. But no food fights. Bella watched Thorin smirk and shake his head at some of the bawdy jokes told by Bofur and the high-spirited antics of his nephews. This time, when they cleaned up, she sat back and watched in amusement. In the parlour, Bofur took out his fiddle and it wasn’t long before Bag End was filled with singing, both dwarven and hobbit songs.

  
Bella was smiling, remembering that night, as she packed the four tarts she had spent the morning baking into a basket in order to take them to the forge. She had included two strawberry tarts for the younger dwarves, and, if she had especially laboured over the pear tarts, well, no one need know.

  
And if she were wearing a pretty dress and had threaded one of the ribbons Thorin had given her into her hair, well, it didn’t signify anything, either.

  
Making her way down the myriad pathways of Hobbiton, greeting her neighbours as they passed, Bella turned her face up to enjoy the sun’s rays. For spring, it was quite warm, but it served to bathe the village in a golden glow that made the colours of the flowers seem that much more vibrant.

  
It was the first time Bella had visited the forge since the dwarves moved in. She was a little nervous as all her interactions with Thorin had been either in the open or with others. Even when he carried her groceries, he usually just put the basket in her pantry and left. Now, she was going to enter his domain and she didn’t know if he would be alone or not.

  
_Come on, Bella_ , she admonished herself. _You’ve faced down giant spiders, orcs and goblins. This is only Thorin. He won’t hurt you. You know he wouldn’t hurt you._

  
The old forge was built differently to the usual hobbit-holes found in Hobbiton. Due to the nature of its purpose, it was a free-standing building, similar to the Green Dragon but on a smaller scale. One side of the building had double doors that opened out from the forge itself while the opposite had a normal door that led directly to the living areas. It allowed the occupants to come and go without having to go through the forge itself.

  
Bella could see smoke coming from the chimney over the forge indicating that one of the dwarves was working. Logic told her that it was most likely Thorin. There didn’t seem to be any sign of the other dwarves around, so she squared her shoulders and walked towards the open double doors………

  
………And had the wind completely knocked out of her by the sight she was confronted with.

  
Thorin was standing at the large anvil, his back slightly towards her. Even from the doorway, she could feel the heat in the room and so it seemed, could he, as he had taken off his shirt and wore only his black breeches and a leather blacksmith’s apron that covered much of his chest.

  
The muscles in his back rippled enticingly as he bent forward slightly, the smooth ridge of his spine covered in a fine layer of sweat. He had tied his hair back with a strip of leather but one of his temple braids had escaped and was swinging against his muscular, lightly furred chest with each movement.

  
_Oh Aule!_ The heat from the furnace was nothing to the heat that raced through her body at the sight of Thorin. She had seen him in various guises, from the weary traveller in borrowed clothes to the monarch wearing the richly appointed trappings of a king, but she had never seen this.

  
Thorin, the blacksmith.

  
The rush of lust struck her like a bolt of thunder and she actually felt her knees weaken. When he raised one arm in order to hammer the metal lying on the anvil, the bulge of muscles brought back the memories of those same arms lifting her up as he carried her to bed and she unthinkingly took a step to the side, feeling as if her legs were going to give way.

  
She accidently brushed against a garden implement that was propped up by the wall, sending it crashing down, the noise startling both of them, causing Thorin to strike metal incorrectly and bend it out of shape.

  
To her horror, he released a loud curse in Khuzdul. “I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT OF THE FORGE TODAY! WHEN WILL YOU EVER LISTEN!” He took a step in her direction as he yelled, the hammer still in his hand.

  
All desire fled as terror invaded her senses, releasing a whimper as she dropped the basket and sank down into herself.

  
She didn’t see Thorin turn his head, the realisation of who had actually startled him striking him as that he let out another curse, all colour leaching from his face.

  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  
The day had not started well.

  
It had been months since Thorin had had one of his headaches, but this morning, he awoke to the thumping inside his head. He lay still for a while, disappointed he couldn’t leave any flowers on Bella’s doorstep and hoping it would subside on its own, but, in the end, he had to reach for a packet of Oin’s herbs to make the medicinal tea that he had taken to ease his pain when he was recovering from his injuries.

  
The chatter from the dwarves as they arose and had breakfast only exacerbated the throbbing and he had yelled at them to be quiet while he waited for the tea to kick in.

  
Finally, after what seemed an age, the headache subsided until there was only the lingering sensitivity that came afterwards. He wanted to see Bella today but first he had to finish an order that was going to be a betrothal gift and was required the next morning. Wishing it was he who was giving Bella a betrothal gift didn’t improve his mood.

  
He was preparing to go into the forge to get started, his nephew’s voices in the background, when there was a pre-emptory knock on the door to the living areas. Most hobbits who engaged his services came directly to the forge, so he was puzzled as to whom the caller was.

  
On the doorstep was an older hobbit, his curly hair greying with age and his portly body evidence of his love of good food.

  
“Yes?” barked Thorin. The hobbit quaked a little at the dwarf’s tone but squared his shoulders as if to prepare for battle.

  
“Y…your majesty,” he began. “I have come on a serious matter that involves one of your fellow dwarves.” He bravely withstood Thorin’s piercing stare.

  
“What matter? And which dwarf?” snapped Thorin.

  
“The matter of one of your dwarves acting inappropriately with my daughter!” came the reply.

  
“What! What do you mean?”

  
“That young dwarf, Kili, I believe his name is, was seen kissing my daughter behind some hedgerows near the paddock you are using for ‘training’,” the hobbit replied indignantly. “Now, I don’t know what you consider proper in your home, but I object to having my daughter become the object of gossip due to the lack of propriety shown by one of your company!”

  
Thorin could feel the headache starting to make inroads again, making holding on to his temper harder and harder.

  
“KILI!”

  
“Yes, uncle?” came the puzzled reply. Kili appeared next to the open door and peered out at their visitor.

  
“Master…?”

  
“Bolger, sir. Bodo Bolger,” answered the hobbit.

  
“Master Bolger here has levelled a charge against you. He is accusing you of acting inappropriately with this daughter,” snapped Thorin, his head starting to pound again. “Is this true?”

  
Kili’s face flushed as he looked down and nervously shuffled his feet.

  
“Well?”

  
“Ah…um…well…the thing is,” stammered Kili, more afraid of his uncle’s temper than the angry father at the door. “I’m…I’m not entirely…sure…who your daughter…is.”

  
There was indignation on the hobbit’s face but that was nothing to the thunderous expression on Thorin’s face.

  
“Just how many lasses have you been gallivanting with that you don’t know which one is Master Bolger’s daughter?” growled Thorin.

  
“My daughter is Dora Bolger, you…you…,” spluttered the furious father.

  
Kili’s face lit in recognition at the name. “Oh! Oh yes, Dora.”

  
“Yes, Dora,” spat Master Bolger. “I want you to stay away from her. She is not even of age yet. How dare you place her in a compromising position!”

  
“But...but…she wanted me to kiss her!” argued Kili, wincing when he felt Thorin’s hand come down hard on his shoulder. The hobbit seethed and if tempers hadn’t been so high, his red face would have been comical.

  
“Be that as it may,” interrupted Thorin. “You should know better than to dally with young lasses.” His glare was murderous. Taking a deep breath, he turned back to the father. “Master Bolger, I apologise for my nephew’s behaviour towards your daughter. It won’t happen again. Will it, Kili?” he snarled.

  
“N…no, uncle,” came the uneasy reply.

  
“I want you to apologise to Master Bolger and in recompense, you will carry out whatever chores he requires you to complete for him for the next week. Will that suffice, Master Bolger?”

  
The hobbit had clearly not been anticipating that for he took a step back in surprise. “Um…well…yes…I suppose so.”

  
“Good. Kili will report to your home tomorrow morning and he will behave properly towards your daughter from now on.”

  
Kili opened his mouth to protest at his punishment but Thorin’s hand squeezed his shoulder in warning so he just stared sullenly at the ground.

  
After the hobbit bowed and hurriedly left, Thorin slammed the door shut and pushed Kili down into a chair. Fili, who had been watching the proceedings, gave his brother a sympathetic smile.

  
“Really? Behind hedgerows as if you were tumbling a bar wench?” roared Thorin, glaring at his nephew.

  
“It was just kissing,” argued Kili sullenly in his defence.

  
“And how many young hobbit lasses have you been indiscriminately kissing that you did not know who Master Bolger was referring to?”

  
Kili looked at his brother, who hastily wiped the grin off his face when Thorin turned to glare at Fili. “Um…a…few?” he admitted cagily. “But uncle, the girls practically throw themselves at us. Sometimes, they get me off guard.”

  
“I don’t care if they strip naked in front of you! While we are in Bella’s home, you will behave with decorum. Many of those lasses are related to her and I will not have her upset by your behaviour!” he yelled.

  
“You must have kissed other females before you met Bella!” countered Kili.

  
“Ki…” warned Fili.

  
Thorin whirled around and thrust his face into his nephew’s. “That is none of your business! And if I did, I, at least, showed some discretion and did not get caught and berated by angry fathers!”

  
“Thorin…” interjected Fili carefully. “He had never been kissed before we got here and it went to his head…a little.”

  
Thorin backed off a little, moving to fill a glass with water. The liquid cooled his temper slightly but the headache was still there.

  
“We will talk about this later,” he declared, his voice more even. “I understand you are very young, Kili, and interactions with females are an exciting, new thing for you, but you cannot behave in a manner that will besmirch their reputation and leave you open to criticism or worse.” At Kili’s small nod, he turned towards the forge. “Go now. I have work to do. Do not come near the forge today, Kili, as I am still angry at the embarrassment this has caused me and I fear I will lose it completely before I have had the chance to calm down.”

  
At the reprieve, both the dwarves hastily exited the house, not daring to argue.

  
Thorin’s temper was still simmering as he worked on the betrothal gift, a new metal garden bench. He was more angry at the embarrassment of being caught off guard by the hobbit. He was so wrapped up in wooing Bella, that he hadn’t been taking note of his nephew’s behaviour.

  
In truth, he couldn’t place all blame on Kili. He had seen the virtual harem of young hobbit lasses that followed the boys around. And Kili, being a normal, healthy, young male, would naturally want to avail himself of what was on offer. It was just that he needed to learn discretion and what was and was not acceptable in his dealings with the opposite sex. Before things went further than just kissing.

  
It would be hypocritical of him to expect Fili or Kili to remain chaste until they found their One, but they needed to learn just where to get that experience, and it wasn’t with innocent young hobbit lasses that had protective fathers. Or were related in some way to Bella. This kind of talk would normally have fallen to the boys’ father, but, as the closest thing to a father they had, unfortunately it fell to him.

  
Attempting to put it out of his mind for the time being, he concentrated on the complicated filigree work he was struggling to get right, his headache finally subsiding to a manageable level. He had taken off his shirt as he was not working near the fire, where embers could burn his skin, trying to unsuccessfully cool down and was about to strike the metal when the sound of falling objects startled him and the hammer stuck the wrong part, bending it in the wrong direction.

  
“RUKHSUL MENU!” he swore loudly. “I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT OF THE FORGE TODAY! WHEN WILL YOU EVER LISTEN!”

  
He turned around to tear strips off his nephew, the thought that it wasn’t Kili not even occurring to him and the sight that met him made him drop the hammer and his heart to plummet.

  
_Oh Mahal!_

  
Bella was crouched down by the wall, curled tightly into herself as if to ward off an attack, surrounded by the downed garden implements and a basket that was tipped on its side. She was whimpering in fear.

  
_Curse my temper,_ thought Thorin as he knelt down in front of her, longing to scoop her up into his arms and comfort her. Of course, he was the one that did this, even if only inadvertently, and he had to fix it.

  
“Bella?” he spoke softly, as if speaking to a frightened animal. “Bella, it’s alright. Forgive my temper. I won’t hurt you, ever.” He reached out hesitantly and brushed his hand gently over her curls, not wanting to startle her. “I didn’t know it was you. I thought it was Kili. Please Bella, you are safe.” His voice cracked a little on the final word.

  
Safe. She still didn’t feel safe around him and it hurt to his very core. He had been making so much progress, they had become friends again and though he ached to hold her, he never touched her without permission and now this. Dwalin had said his temper would be his downfall one day.

  
As she didn’t move when he stroked her hair, he kept up the soothing motion while continuing to murmur softly until, finally, she raised her face, tear tracks marring the smooth skin.

  
Thorin smiled tenderly at her and slowly moved his hand to her shoulder, lightly rubbing it through the material of her shirt. “I’m so sorry, Bella. I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t realise it was you.”

  
Bella took a shuddering breath. “I know,” she whispered.

  
She looked so sad that Thorin couldn’t help himself. He raised his other hand and with the utmost care, lest she pull away sharply, he drew her towards him and enfolded her in his arms, needing to comfort her. He forgot that he was only wearing his leather apron, was sweaty and probably smelled like an orc’s breakfast. He just needed her in his arms.

  
Stiffening slightly in response to his actions, nevertheless, Bella allowed herself to be held in his strong arms, breathing a little sigh of pleasure when she was rested fully against his chest, the leather warm against her cheek.

  
Thorin closed his eyes and laid his cheek on her hair, inhaling her precious scent. It felt beyond wonderful to hold her again, even if he regretted the circumstances that led them here. He was careful not to hold her too tightly, just enough to be able to feel her against him.

  
For a long while they remained like that, kneeling on the floor of the forge, heedless of everything around them.

  
Finally, to Thorin’s regret, Bella pulled away. His arms dropped away hastily, already missing the feel of her. She sat back on her haunches as she rubbed her face dry of any remaining tears.

  
Realising that sitting on the floor was probably not the most comfortable thing to do, Thorin made to stand up and spotted the contents of the basket half tipped out. He moved to put it back in when Bella’s hands reached it first.

  
“My pies! I hope they’re not all ruined,” she sighed. “I made them for you all.”

  
Thorin smiled and righted the basket. “It matters not if they are. I’m certain they will still taste wonderful and I can assure you that a little bit of dirt will not put us off eating them.” Luckily, the top two pies were only cracked and would be fine to eat, Thorin noted as he helped her place them back in the basket.

  
“Come, let us go into the kitchen, away from this heat,” he urged, taking her hand to help her up and picking up the basket with the other. “Just let me put the guard on the fire first.” He took the opportunity to put his tunic back on as well.

  
Bella still looked a little wary, so he spoke softly as he led her through to the living areas. “It’s not large, but it serves its purpose,” remarked Thorin as he placed the basket on the table and pulled out a chair for her.

  
“It’s a far cry from Erebor’s kitchens, I assume,” she replied, shaking her head to his offer of a drink.

  
“Certainly, but I know where I’d rather be,” came the reply.

  
There was a long awkward silence after that, until Thorin took it upon himself to initiate the discussion about what had happened in the forge.

  
“Bella, I’m so sorry I frightened you again,” he began. “I truly did think it was Kili and as I had told him not to come into the forge, my temper got the better of me.”

  
Bella nodded. “I know, Thorin. I do know this and I’m sorry I over-reacted like that.”

  
“No,” disagreed Thorin. “You only reacted that way due to my actions in the past. _I_ put that fear into you and it grieves me deeply that you don’t feel safe with me. I had hoped that I had come some way to proving that you have no need to fear me, but it seems that hope was misplaced,” he said sadly.

  
Without thought, Bella reached out and placed her hand on his, squeezing lightly. “I know you have, Thorin. And my head tells me that I know you won’t hurt me again but I reacted instinctively when you shouted at me. It put me to mind of that day…”

  
Thorin rubbed his forehead with his free hand, not willing to lose Bella’s touch for anything. “I know,” he sighed. “I wish there was some way to prove to you that it will never happen again, that it was an aberration and that you can trust me.”

  
“So do I,” replied Bella. “Your temper frightened me.”

  
Turning his hand over, and taking hold of hers, he looked earnestly into her eyes. “Bella, I know I have a nasty temper at times. In the past my rage and anger at all the sorrows and injustices my people and I suffered at the hands of others fuelled my temper. There were times when I regretted what I had said and done after I had calmed down but I can swear on the lives of my nephews, that never once did I show violence towards my family or any female due to that anger. A number of items have been broken as well as some of the bones in my hand, but never through hurting a woman.”

  
“Except me,” pointed out Bella.

  
Dropping his head in shame, Thorin agreed. “Except you.” Neither spoke for a moment. “Bella, I still have a temper. Dwalin pointed out the damage it could cause and I have striven to control it and only direct it where deserved. The anger and rage I had has gone but I am not perfect. I am trying the best I can, but I will still lose it at times, like today, and will make mistakes in future. I can promise, that though I may yell or curse, never again will I raise my hands in anger towards you”

  
“Unless the gold sickness strikes again,” she pointed out.

  
“That won’t happen ever again,” he swore earnestly. “It will never take me again. I know this.”

  
Bella sighed. “I wish I was as certain.”

  
“Then I will stay in Hobbiton, with you, if you cannot ever trust me around Erebor’s gold again. If that will ease your fears, then I am willing to do it. You know I am,” he stated gravely, his eyes imploring her to believe him.

  
There was silence as Bella mulled over his words before speaking. “I need to go.”

  
Thorin’s heart plummeted at her words. Once again, he had ruined their fragile relationship, even if it was unintentional. If only there was a way to show her that she had no need to fear him but how? Trust could not be forced, it had to develop naturally and right now, Bella didn’t trust him. And why would she? He deserved nothing less.

  
About to sink into despair at the realisation that all his efforts now seemed in vain, he almost missed her next words.

  
“Will you walk me home?”

  
His head shot up. She still wanted his company? “Ah…yes…yes, of course!” He stood up with such alacrity that his chair tipped over, the loud clang startling him and inducing a giggle from his beloved hobbit. “Just…just give me moment to clean up?” He pointed to his arms that still sported soot from the forge and he didn’t miss the look of hunger that flashed through her eyes as she took in their strength.

  
Maybe all hope was not yet lost.

  
Washing as quickly as he could, he donned a clean tunic and brushed his hair before returning to the kitchen. Bella was placing the tarts on the bench and he looked at her properly for the first time today.

  
She took his breath away. Her rose-tinted dress showed off her figure perfectly and displayed a little more décolletage than normal. He felt his mouth water as he remembered feasting on her luscious breasts. He became aware of the tightening in his breeches and was glad his tunic hid the evidence of his arousal, though if he continued in this vein, even the tunic would be useless.

  
Dragging his eyes from her chest, he took in her beloved face. His hand itched to touch the smooth skin of her rosy cheeks. And a taste of her plump lips would be like water to a dying man. In deference to the heat, Bella had plaited her hair into one single braid down her back, threading one of his ribbons through it, he noted with pleasure. How he longed to braid her hair and return his silver hair bead to its rightful owner!

  
As he mused on this delightful thought, his eyes caught sight of two small scars at the back of her neck, visible now with her hair out of the way. With horror, the realisation of how those marks got there struck him.

  
Oh Mahal! He had put those there. When his nails had dug into the delicate skin in his rage.

  
Unable to stand, he sunk into the nearest chair, covering his face with trembling hands. The sound alerted Bella to his presence and she rushed to his side, concern lining her face.

  
“Thorin? Are you well? What’s wrong?”

  
The alarm in her voice gave him no comfort. He didn’t deserve her concern, the monster that had marked her like he had. He felt her hand brush soothingly over his hair and shoulder. He was too distressed to note the reversal of roles from a short time ago.

  
“Thorin, please!” The worry in her voice roused him from the morass of guilt and sorrow that coursed through him and he lifted his face, his eyes tellingly moist. “What is the matter?”

  
Taking in a deep breath in order to regain his composure, Thorin tried to speak past the lump in his throat. “I…I…noticed…I…Oh, Bella! I’m so sorry!”

  
“What? I know you didn’t mean to scare me…” was the confused reply.

  
“No, not that.” With care not to startle her, he raised his hand and reached up to tenderly stroke the small scars on her neck.

  
“Oh!” she realised, stepping back from his hand and touching the scars nervously.

  
“I…I didn’t realise. No wonder you fear me, with a permanent reminder of what…I did,” he ground out hoarsely. He dropped his face into his hands again and was unable to control the shudder of agony that raced through him.

  
Then he felt her hand soothe him again and he raised his head to gaze into her eyes, wanting to convey his utter remorse. “It’s over now, Thorin. They’ve healed.”

  
“Have they? Have they really?” he replied.

  
Bella shrugged and gave him a sad smile.

  
Standing up, Thorin took hold of her shoulders and gently turned her around so he was behind her. “Forgive me,” he whispered as leant down, and tenderly kissed the scars in a display of penitence and regret. “Forgive me for the hurt I’ve caused you,” he murmured against her skin. “Never again.”

  
He felt Bella’s swift intake of breath as he touched her skin, the beads in his beard brushing against it and closed his eyes as he rested his cheek against her hair, his whole body alive to the nearness of hers.

  
The room was fraught with the myriad of emotions of the two occupants and there was naught but silence. Then, as if the moment was too important to ruin with harsh sounds, came the barely audible words.

  
“I forgive you.”

 

 

_** Rukhsul menu! - You offspring of an orc!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos. They're very much appreciated.


	26. Chapter 26

The unseasonal heat gave way to an early thunderstorm which led to solid rainfall for the next two days.

The maelstrom of lightning and thunderclaps were an adequate counterpoint to the turmoil of emotions within Bella after returning home from the forge.

When she spoke the words of forgiveness, Bella felt as if a burden had, if not been removed completely, at least lightened somewhat. And she realised that she spoke the truth. She did truly forgive Thorin for his actions that dreadful day. She still didn’t completely trust him and did have doubts about his future actions, but she had forgiven him for what happened on the battlements of Erebor.

Bella could have no doubts, though, about his absolute remorse. His agony at the realisation of how he had marked her could not be contrived. Dwarves were just too honest a race to lie that well. She knew he believed completely that he would never succumb to gold-sickness again; it was she that didn’t have the same confidence in him.

And there lay the crux of their problem.

There was no lack of love or desire on either of their parts. It was impossible to miss the absolute adoration he felt for her and she doubted that she hid her feelings much better. But without that trust and confidence in him…

The mood had been a fragile thing after her words, as if any sharp sound or sudden movement would shatter it completely. Without saying anything, she had felt Thorin kiss the top of her head before stepping back and picking up the empty basket. He had held out his arm to her and led her out of the house.

Neither spoke on the walk back to Bag End, yet the atmosphere was not tense. It was a strange, delicate, peacefulness and they were content to just be together. As if by mutual consent, they only nodded acknowledgement to any passers-by. To Bella, it all felt somewhat surreal.

Instead of leaving her at the door, as he usually did, Thorin followed her into the entranceway before putting down the basket and taking both her hands in his. Slowly, he leant forward and touched his forehead with hers, his soulful blue eyes gazing into hers.

“Thank you.”

There was a wealth of emotion in those two words and she couldn’t help the tears that filled her eyes. She gave him a watery smile and for a moment she thought he was going to kiss her but instead, he stepped back and lifted her hands to his mouth and kissed both palms rather than the backs. He must have felt the shiver than ran through her but he didn’t say anything, just walked out, shutting the door behind him.

Bella had no strength to do anything except make her way unsteadily to her room and lie down on her bed, her emotions roiling from the day.

Not even the impending storm and sudden clap of thunder that seemed to shake the ground roused her from the bed. Hours later, she rose to get herself a scone and went back to bed where she lay until exhaustion finally claimed her.

The inclement weather for the next two days kept most people indoors so the only visitor she got was from Primula, who couldn’t fail to notice Bella’s subdued mood. When questioned, Bella passed it off as not feeling well due to her monthly courses, not willing to confide in anyone yet. She didn’t care whether Primula believed her or not.

Normally, she enjoyed rainy days as it allowed her to sit in her parlour reading with her tea and snacks, but, try as she might, she felt restless and couldn’t settle to any particular book.

Finally, she tossed her book on the floor and huffed in annoyance. She was missing Thorin and it was pointless to keep denying it. Since she had invited him into Bag End, she had seen him just about every day, whether it was at the market or his visiting her with some of the other dwarves. It might only be half an hour out of her day at times, but his absence was noticeable. The weather precluded him from bringing her a flower and that made her feel irritable towards him, nonsensical as that was. He was under no obligation to give her anything, and only a fool would come out in weather this bad, but she still missed them.

“Oh grow up, Bella,” she muttered to herself. “You’re the one keeping him at a distance yet you’re annoyed because he hasn’t given you a flower for three days!”

In the afternoon of the third day, the rainclouds finally scattered and she received visitors in the form of the two princes.

“Bella! We missed you!” declared Kili dramatically as he hugged her. She just shook her head at his antics before receiving a hug from Fili.

“You were probably just bored,” she scoffed as she led them to the kitchen where there was an abundance of baked goods. Her restlessness had led her to baking in order to get her mind off Thorin, with the result that her pantry was filled for the next week or so. Or maybe not, as the brothers dived enthusiastically into her food.

“Aye, we were really bored,” declared Fili. “At least Thorin didn’t bite off Kili’s head like I expected. He was acting really strange, actually.”

“Really?” asked Bella, faking nonchalance.

“Yes, he hardly spoke a word to us. I thought he was still angry at me but it continued the next day. Uncle never stays mad that long. And when he sha…” A sharp elbow from Fili stopped Kili in mid-sentence.

Bella caught the slight shake of Fili’s head and wondered what Kili was going to say and why Fili stopped him.

“Why was Thorin angry at you?” Kili blushed a bright red, while Fili guffawed at his brother’s embarrassment. Bella looked between the two, seeking an answer. “Surely, it couldn’t be that bad?”

“Well…it was…um…” mumbled Kili, glaring at his brother’s mirth.

“Kili was caught kissing a lass,” answered Fili through his laughter.

“Is that all? Why would that make Thorin angry?” asked Bella.

Fili calmed down enough to reply. “He was caught behind some hedgerows and when her father came to the forge to complain, Kili didn’t even know which lass was being referred to.” He shot a smirk at Kili. “He’s been _very_ busy.”

“Oh!” nodded Bella, suppressing a giggle herself.

“I think uncle was more embarrassed than anything,” said Fili.

“Yes, I suppose he was. It is a little unchivalrous to kiss so many girls that you don’t know which one is which,” agreed Bella.

“But they keep offering,” whined Kili. “And some are so pretty.” He scowled at Fili. “You can’t talk, Fili. I’ve seen you with few different lasses. You just haven’t been caught.”

“That’s because I’m smarter than you!” Fili shot back and earned himself a punch on the arm that would have rapidly descended into a wrestling match if Bella had not stopped it.

“BOYS! That’s enough!” she scolded. The brothers sheepishly sat down and took another piece of cake.

“Sorry,” they mumbled as one.

“Now, I know that temptation is all around you but you need to learn to be selective about giving out your …affections. You also have to be aware that a female’s reputation can easily be ruined, making life difficult for her. Hobbits aren’t prudish by nature but neither are we promiscuous. You are both very good looking lads and I can see why the girls flock to you and beg for your attentions but you need to be the sensible ones and gently discourage them, as they, too, are very young. I doubt similar behaviour would be encouraged by the fathers of dwarven maids. Hmm?”

They shook their heads. “We’d probably get an axe in our back,” said Fili uneasily.

“So why would hobbits be any different? If you were particularly attached to a hobbit lass, it would be one thing, but giving out your affections indiscriminately just cheapens them.”

Both dwarves looked down in shame, acknowledging the truth of her words. They were just so adorable! Bella stood up and embraced them both.

“Don’t worry so. You’re both so young and you will learn in time. You are very fine dwarves and though you will probably give your uncle a few more grey hairs, you will be a credit to your people.”

Both of them engulfed her in a hug before returning to eating and keeping Bella entertained for the next couple of hours.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

To her secret delight, the next morning found the customary flower on her front doorstep. This time it was a red camellia. Her pulse raced at the flower’s meaning. Thorin was telling her that she was the flame in his heart. Just as he was hers.

Attached to the flower by the now-familiar blue ribbon, was an envelope. Intrigued, she pulled out the single sheet of parchment.

**_My Dearest Bella,_ **

**_It would be my heart’s greatest delight if you would consent to honour me with your presence for a picnic lunch tomorrow at midday. Do not be troubled with preparing anything as I will provide all our refreshments. _ **

**_ If this meets with your approval, please send word to the forge.  _ **

**_ Your acceptance would make me the happiest dwarf in all Middle Earth.  _ **

**_ Love,  _ **

**_ Thorin  _ **

Oh my! Bella pressed the note to her breast as her heart fluttered madly at his invitation. Thorin wanted to take her on a picnic! Just like a courting couple. 

She knew he had been slowly courting her since she arrived back in Hobbiton but all his gestures had been informal. They had not openly acknowledged that he was wooing her, although they both knew that was what he was doing. With her uncertainty about him, it seemed best not to address the oliphaunt in the room. 

A picnic, though. That was considered an overt gesture of courtship within the hobbit community. It was practically declaring to everyone that the couple was in a serious relationship and that an offer of marriage was likely in the foreseeable future. 

Of course, as a dwarf, Thorin would most likely have no idea of the significance of his invitation. He probably viewed it as simply spending time together under sunny skies. 

What should she do? To accept would be tantamount to accepting his courtship, at least for her friends and family and she wasn’t ready to do that yet, however much she longed for him. Yet, to decline would be to hurt him, and she didn’t want that either. 

She _wanted_ to go. 

Sitting down on the bench, she gazed over Hobbiton as she mulled over her options. She watched her neighbours going on about their business, most never having encountered anything worse than an abnormally cold winter. None had faced goblins, giant spiders, orcs or dragons. None had feared for their lives over and over. None had met beings of other races, other than the dwarves or seen any of the world outside of the Shire. Bree was probably the farthest any of them had ever traveled, and it would be few, at that. 

So why was she worried about what they would think? Why did she care if they all thought Thorin’s invitation was tantamount to a proposal? She knew it wasn’t. She knew it was just a picnic. That Thorin would ask for her hand at the first sign of encouragement from her was beside the point. In this instance, he just wanted to spend time with her, his friend. 

“Bother them all!” She muttered. “I’m going on this picnic and they can all speculate as much as they want!”  With that determined, she went inside to pen her reply. 

_** Dear Thorin,  ** _

_** Thank you for your kind invitation. I would be delighted to accompany you on a picnic tomorrow. I believe the weather will stay fine and it should be a lovely outing.  ** _

_** I look forward to seeing you at midday, tomorrow.  ** _

_** Yours  ** _

_** Bella  ** _

_** PS: If you require the location of some nice picnic spots around Hobbiton, I will be happy to direct you.  ** _

She considered delivering the message to the forge herself, but decided against it. It would be more fun having someone else take it to Thorin. To that end, she decided to head down to the market as three days indoors and with the dwarf princes paying her the visit yesterday, her pantry needed some re-stocking. 

Before leaving, she carefully placed Thorin’s note inside her favourite book and placed it back on her bedside table. It was only for safekeeping, not because she wanted it close. Of course not. 

And if she was disappointed at not seeing Thorin at the market, she just ignored it. She would see him tomorrow. It was only one day. 

Now, to find someone to deliver her note. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Having been confined to the house for the duration of the bad weather, Bofur was relieved to be able to stretch his legs and head down to the common near the markets. That it meant that he might see Poppy today was an added bonus. 

No, not a bonus. The main prize. 

Not seeing her for three days had been difficult for the normally jovial dwarf. He had been uncharacteristically sullen as he sat by the forge doors, watching the rain pour down, knowing it prevented him from spending time with Poppy. He would have gone out in a blizzard to see her, but he knew Poppy would be made to stay indoors by her family. 

No amount of cajoling by the princes, or even Bifur, had worked to improve his mood. Instead, he sat and whittled away on a piece of wood as he thought about his lovely hobbit. 

At least he wasn’t the only one in a strange mood due to the weather. Thorin had been subdued as well, but his demeanour discouraged any of them seeking the cause of it. Of course, there was only one possible answer to his moodiness anyway. 

Four bored dwarves, along with two lovelorn ones, did not a happy forge make. 

Even so, the enforced idleness had meant that Bofur had a lot of time to contemplate his relationship with Poppy. Or more precisely, his lack of relationship other than just friendship. 

_And whose fault is that?_ He berated himself. _Why can’t I get the courage to tell her how I feel? That I want to be more than friends? That I want to spend the rest my days worshipping at her feet?_

Bofur never imagined he’d ever find his One, certainly not at his age, and he would never have believed that it would be a young, beautiful hobbit lass that radiated youth and vitality and made him feel like a teenage dwarfling again. In her presence, he felt fresh and alive, as if he could accomplish anything because she was with him. 

Alone, though, all his doubts and insecurities crept in. Why would someone like her want a middle-aged, simple dwarf like him? He had no royal bloodlines, unlike Thorin; was not particularly learned and wasn’t handsome like the princes. He was wealthy now, for sure, but that didn’t seem to be of much import to hobbits. 

If he asked her to be his, would she laugh at him and his temerity to even ask it of her? No, she was too kind-hearted to be cruel like that but then she would have to find a way to let him down gently and he didn’t want to do that to her. Just because she enjoyed his company and liked him as a friend, didn’t mean she wanted to be bound to him as his wife. 

He seemed to be getting nowhere and tried to shake of his melancholy thoughts. At this rate, he’d end up moodier than Thorin! 

Skirting the markets, he was making for the common outside the Green Dragon when he spotted her, her curly dark hair creating a halo around her head as tendrils blew across her face, causing her to pull them away impatiently as she spoke to another young hobbit lass. She had on a pretty floral dress that left most of her arms bare in the warm sunshine. 

Bofur couldn’t help sigh as he watched her. She was everything he wanted. He’d give up all his wealth to be able to call Poppy his. 

As if sensing eyes on her, Poppy turned her head, her face breaking out in a delighted smile when she saw him. His breath caught at the look of joy on her face as she hastily bid her friend farewell and walked towards him. 

That kind of look gave him hope that maybe she did return his feelings. So why was he too cowardly to ask her? 

“Bofur!” she exclaimed happily as she reached around and hugged him. Bofur’s eyes shut in bliss as he returned the hug, breathing in her flowery scent. “It seems like weeks since I saw you,” she said as she stepped back, his arms reluctantly letting her go. 

“Aye, lass. I’ve missed your company,” he grinned back. “My fellow dwarves are nowhere near as pretty.”   Poppy giggled at his remark before taking his arm and leading him to one of the empty tables. 

Bofur smiled tenderly as she regaled him with how bored she’d been and the mischief her younger brothers had got up to. He wasn’t really taking in the words; he was just enjoying being in her presence once more. 

He didn’t know how much time had passed but he heard another familiar voice call out to him. Turning, he waved at Bella as she threaded her way through the crowd and made her way to their table. 

“Hello Bofur, Poppy,” she greeted them as they hugged. “What a relief to finally have some sunshine again!” 

Bella and Poppy chatted for a few moments before Bella turned towards him. “I was hoping I’d see you here.” 

“Oh? Why’s that, lass?” he asked curiously. 

Bella pulled an envelope out of her pocket, fingering it slowly, as if contemplating something of importance before handing to Bofur. “Can I ask that you give this to Thorin when you return to the forge?” 

“Of course, Bella,” he replied as he took the envelope and tucked it safely in his pocket. “Be sure to give it to him the moment I see him.” 

Poppy was looking curiously at Bella as she watched the exchange. “What is it?” she asked, unable to help herself. 

Bella blushed a little before replying. “Um…it’s an acceptance to an invitation,” she explained cagily. 

“What kind of invitation?” Bofur hid his grin behind his hand. That was one of the things he loved about Poppy. She was irrepressible and could not contain her curiosity. 

“Oh…well…um,” stammered Bella. Bofur was curious now himself. “Thorin invited me on a picnic and I said yes.” 

Poppy’s gasp caused Bofur to turn sharply towards her. Her eyes were wide and her mouth gaped in surprise as she looked at Bella. He was baffled by her reaction. It was just a picnic, wasn’t it? He was just about to ask when Poppy caught his eye, warning him not to say anything. 

“It’s nothing like that,” insisted Bella, blushing furiously. “No, seriously,” she continued at Poppy’s look. “It’s not. He doesn’t even know what it means.” 

Poppy nodded at that. “No, you’re right. How would he know?” she agreed. 

By now Bofur was completely lost. As soon as Bella left, though, he was going to find out what this was all about. 

After a few more minutes, Bella bid them farewell and headed back to the marketplace, leaving behind one very happy hobbit and an extremely confused dwarf. 

When Bella was no longer within earshot, Bofur couldn’t contain himself any longer. “May I ask, what in Arda was _that_ all about?” 

In answer, Poppy sprung up, grabbed his hand and practically dragged him to his feet. “Come on! We’ve got to get that letter to Thorin!” 

Resisting her pull very easily, Bofur planted his feet and refused to budge until he got some answers. “Again, what is going on?” 

Poppy sighed in exasperation and looked at him like he was a simpleton. “Thorin doesn’t know it, but he basically announced to the world that he and Bella are now officially courting and that marriage is on the cards.” 

“By asking her to go on a picnic?” 

“For you dwarves it’s just a picnic, but for us hobbits, it’s so much more.” She tugged on his hand again. “Let’s go, Bofur! I’m dying to tell Thorin what he’s done.” 

How would Thorin react to the realisation of the implications his invitation had in the Shire? 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

The next day dawned bright and cheery and Bella hopped out of bed with a decided spring in her step. She was surprised to see a posy of pink camellias on her doorstep. She didn’t expect to receive any flowers when he was stopping by at midday for their picnic but she was pleased nonetheless. “I long for you, too,” she murmured as she repeated the flowers meaning on her way to placing them in water. 

She dressed carefully for the outing, all the while telling herself that it was just a picnic, nothing more. He didn’t know the intricacies of hobbit courting rituals, after all. 

Putting on a pretty spring green dress, with a white blouse under the corset-type bodice, she inspected herself critically in her mirror. After the long time spent in Rivendell and then returning to more hobbit-type eating patterns back in Hobbiton, she had lost the rather gaunt look she had when she had left the mountain. She was not fat, but instead, pleasantly rounded in all the right spots. 

She had not missed the way Thorin’s eyes had seemed to drift down to her bosom, almost against his will, before dragging them back to her face. The embroidered corset greatly enhanced that part of her anatomy, pushing up her ‘assets’, as it were, judged Bella, nodding in satisfaction. 

Though she had had her hair trimmed and neatened whilst in Rivendell, it still fell in unruly waves to just past her shoulders, much longer than she had worn it prior to her adventure. That Thorin had loved playing with her tresses had nothing to do with keeping it longer now, she told herself sternly when asked how much hair to trim off. She just thought it looked nicer this length, that’s all. 

It was too long to leave loose, though, as it tended to get in her way so she usually tied it back during the day but today, she wanted to leave it out but didn’t want it blowing in her face while she ate. In compromise, she braided two sections on either side of her head and tied them together with one of Thorin’s ribbons that matched a shade on her dress. There, now it wouldn’t annoy her while most of it fell down her back. 

When a little voice in her head asked her why she was going to so much effort with her looks just for a simple picnic, she firmly told it to go away. She was enjoying this. It had been years since she had readied herself for an outing with a potential suitor or had felt so feminine. 

She was determined to enjoy the day for what it was – just an outing for her and Thorin to enjoy each other’s company, without worrying about the future for once and the decision that she felt was looming and was still not ready for. 

In her anticipation at Thorin’s arrival, she was ready much earlier than midday and so had a bit of time to kill. She wandered aimlessly through her home, needlessly straightening things, flicking a little dust, putting away a book or two, but mainly looking out her windows to see if Thorin was coming up the hill. 

When she finally spotted him, she rushed into her parlour and sat down, trying to act nonchalantly, as if she hadn’t been waiting with baited breath. She picked up the book she was currently reading but the words just swam before her eyes as her ears strained to pick up the sound of his arrival, cursing the efficiency of dwarven hinges as her gate didn’t make any sound at all. 

At the knock on the door, the book flew out her hands as she jumped at the sound. Exasperated with herself for her silliness, she picked up the book, straightened her dress and forced herself to walk slowly to the door. She mustn’t appear too eager, even if her natural inclination was to sprint breathlessly to open it. 

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door, a genuine smile on her face and was, once again, rendered speechless by his appearance. 

He looked so incredibly handsome. In deference to the warm day, he wore only a deep blue shirt, embroidered with gold thread at the cuffs and neck, overlayed with a matching blue tunic which had the same embroidered pattern on the hem. He had on a thick black belt with the typical heavy dwarven buckle he favoured. His black breeches hugged his legs lovingly and his boots had been polished to within a inch of their lives. All in all, he managed to look exceedingly regal whilst dressing casually, for him, fitting for their planned activity. 

And if Bella had a moment’s disappointment that he wasn’t wearing just his blacksmith’s apron, she refused to admit to it. 

Raising her eyes to his face after her perusal of his appearance, she caught him blatantly admiring her own, his eyes lingering on her chest before raising them to her face, his mouth breaking out in a beautiful smile, which made her pulse race. 

His hair, his wonderful, thick, soft hair was neatly brushed, the two silver clasps of his temple braids and the silver strands of hair standing out amongst the rich darkness of it. 

His eyes were almost sparkling in happiness, their colour the blue of a cloudless summer sky and were gazing at her with such tenderness, she melted a little. Her gaze moved down over his strong nose, that she loved, to his mouth which was slightly parted as he smiled, his strong white teeth contrasting strongly with his dark beard. 

His beard! 

Bella jerked in surprise when she finally noticed his beard. It was short! The two small braids were gone and it now looked as it had when they were travelling on the quest. And while she had no objection to the braids, she had to admit to herself that she much preferred this look. Why would he cut it? 

“Your…beard?” she asked quizzically. “You’ve cut it. Why?” 

Thorin reached up to touch the now close shaven beard as the smile disappeared. Then he took one of her hands and placed it against his heart, which she could feel beating strongly. 

“When I wore my beard like this previously, it was to remind me of my vow to somehow, someday, regain what my people had lost and to have a true home again. When that was accomplished, I felt I could let it grow out again, in the manner of my people.” 

“Then, why…?” 

“I will wear my beard in this manner for the rest of my days in order to remind me of the solemn vow I make to you today that never again will I ever raise my hand towards you in violence and what the gold-sickness cost me.” 

“But…” Bella was stunned by his words and actions. “What will your people think?” 

“I do not care for their opinions in this matter. It is but a small token of my repentance and a way to prove to you that I mean my words. Even if…you were not to accept me, it will remain like this. A reminder to never allow myself to succumb again and of what I lost, or will lose again, should I forget.” 

Bella was speechless, utterly astounded by the significance of his actions. Beards were such an integral part of their culture and to have it cut off was the ultimate humiliation for a dwarf, often used as punishment for a heinous crime. Even Kili lived in the hope that his sparse beard would grow in as he matured. 

For Thorin to willingly cut his short… 

Bella’s eyes prickled with tears as she looked into his eyes, shining with utter sincerity and before she could think otherwise, she reached forward and wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. She heard him exhale in what seemed to be relief as his arms encircled her. 

“Thank you,” she murmured into his chest, his warmth soothing her. “It seems too much…but…thank you.” 

Thorin didn’t say anything, just nodding as he held her. Time seemed to stand still but eventually Bella pulled back, wiped her eyes and smiled up at him. 

“Well, I think you look very handsome.” His smile was blinding. “So, where are we going for this picnic I was so charmingly invited to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the lovely comments and all the kudos the story has received. It's great to know that so many of you are enjoying the story.


	27. Chapter 27

Thorin’s reaction to Poppy’s revelation was not what she expected. Not at all.

After leaving Bella on the day of the forge incident, he had been subdued, his mind going over everything that happened. The most significant being that she had forgiven him.

He didn’t feel worthy of it, but he welcomed it nonetheless. She genuinely forgave him and part of him wanted to weep with relief and joy. He wasn’t fool enough to think that all their problems were gone; there was still the issue of trust between them, or more accurately, her trust in him, but that could never truly happen unless she forgave his mistakes first. And she had.

Needing to complete the betrothal gift, he went straight back to the forge, welcoming the cacophony of the thunderstorm as he worked. His motions were automatic as he hammered and shaped the metal while his brain was occupied solely with Bella.

The weather precluded his visiting her for the next three days and he felt her absence with every fibre of his being. His mind kept going over and over their conversation and the memory of her scars would cause a shaft of pain to slice through him each time.

His mood continued even after his nephews returned, his anger from that morning totally forgotten in his preoccupation with Bella. The others looked at him strangely but they left him alone, Kili just happy to get a reprieve for the time being. He was even happier when he returned the next morning, drenched, from Master Bolger’s house after being told to come back when the rain cleared as he had no chores for him until the rain let up.

In the evening of the second day of rain, he was looking out the window into the gloomy darkness, his reflection clearly visible in the glass, thinking of her. A slight movement of his head caused the little clasps in his beard to shine in the glow of the candlelight, catching his eye.

He remembered the satisfaction he had felt when his beard had grown long enough to finally braid, after decades of wearing it close shaven. Worn that way, firstly, because it had been burned off in the dragon fire and then, as a sort of talisman to always remind him of his vow to reclaim his home, somehow, someday. So many decades passed after the fall of Erebor that his people could barely remember what he looked like with a longer beard and others, like his nephews, had never known anything else.

By the time he had recovered enough from his injuries, his beard had grown quite bushy. By force of habit, he was going to trim it but stopped himself in time. His self-imposed vow had been fulfilled. He and the dwarves of Erebor had their mountain back. He could now claim his reward and grow his beard out as was his right.

A vow.

Thorin’s head jerked as he looked at himself in the reflection of the glass. He had vowed that he would never again raise a hand in violence towards his Bella. Nor would he succumb to the lure of gold-sickness. He could have carved this oath into solid rock and it would have no more permanence than what he felt in his heart. If only Bella could see this.

His eyes slid to his beard. The vow he had made to Bella was no less important or binding than his previous one. Why should he not have a visible reminder of it? Why should he not humble himself and cut off the beard he had regrown? A gesture for her and for himself that his oath would not be forgotten.

And as this vow would hold for the remainder of his life, so would his beard remain short. Without hesitation, he grabbed a knife and proceeded to cut off the two braids before trimming the rest of it until it looked as it had for decades. When it was done, he was a little surprised that he was not as upset to lose the longer beard than he thought he would be. In fact, it felt like he was greeting an old friend again.

Returning to the living area, he was prepared for the reactions of his company.

“Mahal’s balls! What have you done to yourself?” exclaimed Dwalin, his pipe falling from his mouth and clattering to the floor in his shock.

“What does it look like?” retorted Thorin sarcastically.

“Like you are so whipped that I’m surprised you haven’t got a bridle on so she can lead you around the paddock by the nose!”

Thorin glared venomously at his friend. “It has nothing to do with her!” At the disbelieving look, he continued. “Well, only indirectly. It is to mark the vow I have made to her and to myself. It will remain like this to end of my days, so get used to it.” With that, he left the room of speechless dwarves and returned to the forge, seeking the dark and quiet.

The forge had become somewhat of a haven for him and he had arranged one corner with a comfortable chair and table which he used to read and prepare his flowers for Bella. He sat down and picked up a book on hobbit customs which Primula had lent him. Any insight into Bella’s mind was helpful.

“Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

Thorin sighed, put the book down and turned to face his friend. “Yes, Dwalin, I am.”

“Isn’t there another way? Carve it into your forehead, perhaps?” asked Dwalin, not entirely joking. After all, his own head was covered in tattoos. “Why the beard?”

Thorin grinned a little and shook his head. “Believe it or not, Dwalin, I am comfortable with what I’ve done.”

“Did Bella ask you to do this?”

“No, of course not. I only decided this tonight. Yes, it is in part for her but mostly, it’s for me. You saw how much damage the gold-sickness did, Dwalin. You saw the aftermath. While I know I shall not succumb again, wearing my beard like this comforts me, somewhat. It reassures me that if ever I were to grow complacent about the dangers of greed, I only have to look in a mirror to remind me and put me back on the right path. Besides, it _is_ much easier to manage,” he smiled wryly.

Dwalin looked at Thorin for a moment before punching him in the arm, making Thorin wince a little. “Ah, you’re just lucky you’re a handsome bastard, and a king. The females will still swoon over you,” he joked.

“I only want one female to swoon over me, Dwalin.”

“A little competition never hurt, did it? Might make her see what she’d be missing out on.”

“She’s my One, Dwalin. You know that’s not going to happen,” Thorin pointed out. “What about you? Anyone catch your eye?”

“Nah, you know me. Unless it has a handle or sharp pointy ends, I’m not interested,” insisted Dwalin. “Nope, my only mistresses are Grasper and Keeper.”

“Must be fun to cuddle at night,” muttered Thorin, grinning.

Dwalin burst out laughing. “Aye! Don’t know how many times I’ve nearly cut me willy off in my sleep. I thrive on danger!”

Thorin was still chuckling as he picked up his book again, opening it to where he had left off. He read a couple of chapters before coming across an interesting passage about courting customs.

When the rain finally eased the following day, he trudged through the mud to Primula’s house. He would need her assistance the next day, if all went well. Primula readily agreed and he spent that afternoon in her kitchen.

He was polishing a small sword, trying not to get too anxious about Bella’s response to his plan for the next day, when he heard voices approaching the forge door. Unsurprisingly, Poppy burst through, dragging Bofur behind her. Whoever said men held all the power in a relationship, had never been in love, thought Thorin with amusement.

Poppy stopped, about to speak, when Thorin looked up at her and whatever she was going to say came out in a small squeak instead. Only Bofur’s speedy reflexes stopped him from barrelling her over at her abrupt halt.

Thorin raised one eyebrow in enquiry but Poppy just stood there, mouth open, as she gazed at him.

“Yes, Poppy?” he prompted.

“ _My goodness_ , you look handsome!” Poppy blurted out, to Thorin’s embarrassment and Bofur’s annoyance. Thorin could feel a flush starting as she continued to stare at him.

“Uh…” Thorin looked to Bofur, somewhat helplessly, hoping he’d snap his lady love out of her stupor. Bofur bumped his elbow with hers, with not a little irritation at the way she was looking at his friend. His _very taken_ friend.

It seemed to work. Poppy realised what she was doing and raised her hand to her mouth. “Oh dear! Forgive me, but your appearance took me aback, Thorin. It’s just, you look so well with your beard like that. Not that I thought you ugly, or anything like that before, really, but it’s just…”

Thorin raised his hand to stop her. “Thank you, Poppy. I’m glad my appearance meets with your approval,” he smirked. “To what do I owe the honour of your visit?”

“Oh! Um…I…I…”

“Picnic,” murmured Bofur grumpily.

“Yes, that’s right! Thank you, Bofur,” she said, giving him a sunny smile that restored his dampened spirits somewhat, before turning back to Thorin. “We have a letter from Bella.” Bofur pulled out the envelope and handed it him.

Thorin’s eyes lit up as he opened it, quickly scanning the words and breaking out in a glorious smile that made Poppy swoon a little all over again before pulling herself together. She had a task to perform.

“Ah, Thorin?” she asked tentatively. “You asked Bella to go on a picnic with you?”

Thorin nodded, the smile still on his face. “Yes, and she has accepted.”

“That’s marvellous, Thorin,” said Poppy. “Really, I’m so pleased for you. Um…it’s just…ah…”

“What Poppy?” he barked, getting a little impatient. He needed to get back to Primula’s.

“Being a dwarf, you wouldn’t know this, but, asking a lady to go on a picnic, just the two of you, for hobbits means something quite different to what you would be…accustomed to.” Thorin looked at her, prompting her to continue but with a strange look on his face. “You are basically declaring your intentions, signalling that Bella will accept no other suitors and that an engagement is imminent,” she blurted, not knowing what to expect from his reaction. It wasn’t what she expected.

Thorin looked at her, a small, knowing smirk on his face. “Thank you Poppy, but I already knew that.”

“You…did?”

“I do read, you know,” he replied. “I know exactly what my action signifies here in the Shire and I’m glad of it.”

“So…you and Bella? You’ve worked things out?” she asked curiously.

“No, not completely.” He regarded the two of them with a stern look. “And you are not to tell Bella that I know.”

Poppy was confused. “So…Bella knows what a picnic means, and you know what it means, but…you don’t want her to know you know. Why?”

“I don’t want to pressure her and if she knew that I know what my invite means, she would most likely refuse to go. We are growing closer but we are not there yet.”

“So, why did you ask her?”

“I want to spend time with her. I want to present her with items I have cooked, as you have previously suggested, and not least, I want all those hobbits who look at her to believe that we have an understanding and stay away,” he growled, somewhat menacingly.

“Thorin, there is not one hobbit in the Shire that would dare trespass on your territory,” Poppy informed him wryly.

“Good. This just sends a clear message.” Poppy could see where he got his dangerous reputation from. “As far as Bella is concerned, we are simply going to spend the day together, that’s all.”

Poppy nodded. “I must say that coming up here, I really thought you would be mortified to learn of the significance of your invitation. That, or you and Bella had sorted out your difficulties faster than any of us expected.”

Thorin smirked as he leaned towards her. “Never underestimate dwarves, Miss Gardner.” Straightening, he tidied up his tools. “Now, Bofur, Poppy, thank you for delivering Bella’s reply, but I must be off to Primula’s to finish preparing the food for tomorrow.”

Poppy’s natural ebullience reasserted itself and she clapped her hands gleefully. “Oh, that’s so romantic! What are you making?”

Thorin ignored her as he continued getting ready. Poppy continued talking, making suggestions, as he stepped outside. “Bofur, close up if you’re not staying. Good day, Poppy.” With a spring in his step, he set up for Primula’s house.

“Bye Thorin,” Poppy called out. “I love your beard!”

Thorin just shook his head and smiled to himself as he walked away. Bofur was going to have his hands full with that one if he ever pulled his head out of his backside and asked her to be his.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Bella’s reaction upon seeing his beard was all that he could have hoped for and he couldn’t stop the thrill that ran through him when she told him she thought he looked handsome.

Memories of the way she loved to stroke his beard came to mind. Sometimes it was an absentminded gesture, as she thought of something or spoke to one of the others. Normally, such a thing would be private between a dwarven couple, but Bella was a hobbit and had less difficulty with public displays of affection and the Company was family anyway. Other times, she would caress it as they kissed and she said more than once that she loved the feel of it on her naked body as they made love.

He had long suspected that she preferred his beard like this.

Then there was the way she looked. Mahal, she was stunning! He tried, but he couldn’t stop his eyes lingering on her breasts. His mouth watered as he took in the fullness, enhanced to perfection in the dress she wore, lifted as if for his delectation. Oh, to feast on her once again.

Forcing himself to look up, he caught her in the act of ogling him too, and his grin grew even brighter. He had gone to a great deal of effort with his own appearance and her reaction made it all worth it.

At her question, Thorin picked up the basket at his feet and held out his arm. “Shall we go, my lady? Our picnic awaits. As to where we are going, you shall see when we get there.”

With a delightful giggle, Bella pulled her front door closed and wrapped her hand around his arm. Thorin drew his arm towards his body so that her hand was lovingly trapped against him; not that she was trying to pull away at all.

Thorin couldn’t keep the smile from his face as they ambled down the hill, not in any rush, Bella chattering lightly and nodding to any neighbours they passed, their gazes knowing as they took in the basket he carried.

When he had first told Primula what he planned to do, she had explained to him what it would mean to those of the Shire. He said the same thing he had told Poppy and asked her to keep his confidence, which she assured him she would. She then set about working out with him what food he would pack. This was his opportunity to present her with something he had made. His baking skills had improved since the first batch of biscuits he’d produced but he was no Bombur.

In the end, they settled on simple faire of fruit, cheese and bread, which Primula made. His skills didn’t extend to making decent bread. As his culinary contribution, Thorin baked some cheese and bacon muffins as well as a strawberry and cinnamon tea cake. Primula packed plates, cups and cutlery as well as a bottle of elderberry wine. Thorin would have preferred some ale, but knew Bella didn’t drink it.

Primula had given him the directions to a picturesque spot near the river. In order not to embarrass himself when with Bella, Thorin followed her diagram that evening and only got lost once in his search for the spot she had recommended.

Thus it was that he confidently led Bella to a lovely shaded glen situated right by the river. The long grass was brightly coloured with wild flowers while willow trees draped their long fronds into the water. The surrounding trees provided filtered light through their canopies and the only sounds were the rustling leaves, the trickling water and the soft hum of insects as they went about their business.

“Oh, this is a beautiful spot,” exclaimed Bella as Thorin put down the basket and withdrew the blanket, setting it out underneath a wide oak tree.

“Yes, it certainly is,” he replied, looking at her, not the scenery.

Delighted with his choice, Bella dropped down onto the blanket, arranging her skirts as she did. “So, what have you brought for us?” she asked curiously, trying to peer into the basket, Thorin’s hand preventing it.

“Impatient little hobbit, aren’t you?” he chided, grinning at her mock pout. Lowering himself down onto his knees, he pulled the basket towards him and lifted a corner of the cover. Reaching inside, he took out a single red rose and handed it to her, his eyes never leaving hers.

Bella gasped softly, a becoming blush suffusing her face as she took the rose from him and lowered her nose to the delicate petals. Thorin gazed at her, the adoration plain in his eyes as she breathed in the scent of the flower that told her of his passionate love for her.

“Thank you,” she whispered, looking up at him shyly. “It’s lovely.”

“It pales in comparison to you, Bella. There is nothing in Middle Earth or Arda that is more lovely than you in my eyes.”

Bella blushed again and Thorin ached to reach out and kiss her passionately. Instead, he pulled back the cover completely, revealing the basket’s contents. “Now, what have I packed in here?” He deliberately kept his tone light.

Reaching up, Bella tucked the rose into her hair for safekeeping and eagerly looked inside. “Oh, that looks delicious.”

Thorin took out the cups, handing one to her. “Would you like some elderberry wine or water?” he asked, holding up the wine bottle.

“A little wine would be lovely,” she replied.

“You enjoy that while I take everything else out.” He took out the cheese and bread as well as the pouch of strawberries and blueberries. Bella nodded her approval as each item came out. “These,” he pointed to the muffins, “and this,” holding up the tea cake, “were made by yours truly,” he declared proudly.Her eyes went wide with surprise and then laughed delightedly. 

“Really?” At his nod, she reached down and took one of the muffins and bit into it. Thorin watched her, anxious for her approval. “Mmm, this is delicious, Thorin,” she mumbled as she tried to chew politely. “You never told me you could cook.” 

His face broke out into a wide grin at her approbation of his baking. “I couldn’t. Primula’s been teaching me,” he admitted. 

“She has?” 

“Yes, I wanted to impress you,” he admitted. 

“Well, I certainly am impressed, Thorin. I would never have believed you could make this,” she replied, taking another bite. “Blacksmith, warrior, king, baker. What next?” 

_Husband_ , he thought. “You are much too kind to me. I am average, at best, but I will say that I have greatly improved. If you had seen my first efforts…” 

Thorin had Bella in stitches as they worked through the food, regaling her with tales of his baking adventures in Primula’s kitchen. Every so often, he would top up their cups with the wine, so that by the end they were feeling quite mellow. 

Bella lay back on the blanket, enjoying the spots of sunlight on her face. “That was lovely, Thorin. I did enjoy the tea cake, though I think I will save most of it for a little later, when I can truly appreciate it. I’m so full, right now.” 

“Hmm,” he agreed as he lay beside her, the food between them. “I don’t think I can ever remember enjoying a meal so much.” 

“It must be the company,” she quipped. 

“Most definitely the company,” he agreed, looking at her profile before reaching over and pulling out a small leaf that had fallen onto her hair. His fingers lightly grazed her cheek, the agitated rise and fall of her breathing proving she was affected by him. 

They were quiet for a few moments, lost in their thoughts of each other when Bella sat up. “Let me pack up the leftovers and then I think I’ll dangle my feet in the water. I used to love doing that on warm days when I was a faunt.” 

The food was packed back into the basket and Thorin watched intently as she stood up and walked to the river, sat on a small rock and placed her feet in the gently flowing stream. So as not to get her skirts wet, she lifted them as high as modesty allowed, her knees now visible. 

Thorin had to bite back the moan of desire that flooded through him as he looked at her creamy skin. A part of him felt ridiculous for reacting so violently to a pair of knees when he had seen her entirely naked before but it had been so long and his mind couldn’t stop wandering to the fantasy of raising her skirts higher and higher, his lips and tongue savouring each silky inch as it became exposed, until he reached her sweet centre. He closed his eyes as he imagined delicately lapping at her soft folds, drinking in her essence as he feasted on her, her cries of pleasure rushing over him. He would continue until she writhed in ecstasy, his name wrung from her lips, pleading for him to end the luscious torture. Unable to deny her anything, he would give her the rapture she craved, her cries of completion the most wonderful sound in the world. 

The sound of a splash brought Thorin back to the present, keenly aware of the uncomfortable state of his body. He took a number of deep breaths, willing himself to calm down as he remained seated. If he stood up now, not even the tunic would hide the tent in his breeches. 

“You should put your feet in, Thorin,” Bella called back to him. “The water’s so cool and refreshing.” 

Taking off his boots and stockings was just the distraction he needed. Bella moved over so Thorin could sit down next to her and they sat watching their feet sway in the current. 

“It never ceases to amaze me how, for such a little thing, your feet are still larger than mine,” he commented. 

“They’re actually not that big by hobbit standards,” replied Bella, tickling his foot with her toe, enjoying the way he moved it away quickly. 

They talked desultorily for a while on a range of subjects before the conversation turned to that awful day on the mountain. 

“I’m glad you were safe in Bard’s tents when the fighting started,” he said. “I hate to think of you in the thick of battle.” 

Bella nervously twisted the material of her skirt with her fingers. “Actually, I wasn’t in the tents. At least, not once the fighting started.” 

“You were not on the battleground, were you?” he asked sharply. 

“Not exactly.” She recounted what had happened and her encounter with the orc, getting hit by something and losing consciousness. “When I woke, it was all over and all I could see were endless bodies everywhere. I prayed and prayed that you and the others weren’t amongst them.” 

Thorin took her hand, squeezing it gently. “Thank Mahal nothing worse happened. My only solace that day, after all I’d done, was that you had escaped to the forest and were safe. If I’d known, I don’t…” His voice drifted off as he raised her hand to his lips, kissing the fingertips as if to reassure himself that she was here with him. “The orc didn’t hurt you?” 

Bella shook her head. “I had your voice in my head telling me to do whatever it took to stay alive until that elf came and killed it.” 

If Thorin ever found out who that elf was, he would probably hug him in gratitude. “I’m glad something I said saved you. Have you practised at all since then?” 

“No, I admit I haven’t.” 

“Would you like me to keep training you?” he asked. 

Bella shrugged her shoulders. “Is there any need to? Nothing happens in the Shire.” 

“You never know when you may need to defend yourself. If you ever want to, you just need to ask and it will be my honour to train you,” he offered. Bella smiled at him before throwing another pebble in the water. “And the ring? What happened to that?” 

He saw the grimace she gave before answering. “It’s in my backpack, right at the bottom of my storage closet. I nearly threw it down one the ravines in the Misty Mountains.” 

“Why didn’t you? There is something … not right… about that thing.” 

“I know. It seems to drain all hope and happiness when I wear it which is why I don’t even want to touch it. Why didn’t I throw it in a ravine? In the end, I worried about it falling into the wrong hands, however unlikely. I mean, what were the chances I would come across it? Yet, I did, so the possibility for it to be found, remote as it sounds, was still there. As it is now, I don’t even think about.” 

“Perhaps we will find a find a way to dispose of it. In the meantime, your closet sounds as good a place as any to keep it,” he declared. 

By now, his feet were getting quite chilled, so he suggested they go back to the blanket and have another slice of cake. Bella pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed at her feet to dry them before offering it to Thorin, who shook his head. 

Holding her hand, he led her back to their picnic spot. He didn’t bother putting his boots back on yet, enjoying the relaxed atmosphere. Bella sat next to him, the scent of her filling his senses as she cut them both another slice of his tea cake. 

Finishing his first, he watched her daintily eat her piece, a piece of crumb on her lip. Without thinking, he reached up to wipe it off, his thumb brushing her top lip. It was so soft he couldn’t help himself from rubbing it gently, his pulse racing at her unspoken permission, having expected a rebuff. 

Gazes locked, his thumb brushed the bottom lip as well, savouring the fullness of it. A hot dart of desire rushed through him when the tip of her tongue, intending to moisten her lip, accidentally grazed his thumb. 

He could sense, more than see, her shoulders move due to her erratic breathing. He couldn’t tear his eyes from hers, the want and longing plainly evident in them and in the flush of her skin. 

Slowly, oh so slowly, he moved towards her, desperately hoping she wouldn’t pull away. Instead, she moved towards him, until there was only a hair’s breadth between their mouths, his large hand cupping her cheek. He could feel her breath on him and it set him on fire. 

“Bella?” he breathed, seeking permission to take that final step. Her response was an infinitesimal smile, which was all he needed. 

Raising his other hand to her face, he moved forward, and, with an internal cry of joy, touched his lips to hers. It was as if one of Gandalf’s firecrackers had lit up. His soul sang with a maelstrom of emotions: joy, relief, desire, wonder, love and a feeling of being home, at last. 

He kissed her as if she was the most precious thing in the world, which she was. His lips grazed hers over and over, savouring their softness and taste, relearning their shape and texture. Bella let out a little sigh as she increased the pressure, seeking more. 

With the barest moan, Thorin’s tongue sought entry to her mouth, which was gladly given. Instantly, the kiss turned from one of gentle worship to one fuelled by desire and hunger. Bella’s arms reached up to encircle his neck, her hands burying themselves in his hair. His own reached around her, drawing her as close as possible as he devoured her mouth. 

He felt like someone who had been wandering lost and parched in a wasteland and her lips were a life saving oasis. 

On and on the kiss went, until they were both lying down, Thorin lying half over her body. Tearing his lips from hers, he caressed his way down to her throat, licking the sensitive spot below her ear that always made her moan. He stayed there for a bit, licking and sucking, her hands now clenching handfuls of his hair, the pain not even registering in his desire-fogged brain. 

He moved down to lick the little hollow at the base of her throat, the scent of her body enveloping him. He was fast losing what little control he had, his solid erection pressing into her thigh. She gasped when his hand took hold of her heaving breast and he felt the need for her lips again. 

Reaching up, he took her mouth, consumed by their passion. He rocked into her, seeking relief as he kneaded her breast. He couldn’t help the little growl as her hand rubbed his beard, her fingers scraping through the soft hair there. 

Lost in his craving, it took him several moments before he realised that she had stopped kissing him, her hands now moving over his face in a soothing motion, rather than lustfully. 

He lifted his head to look down at her and she gave him a shy smile, the longing still evident in her eyes, but now cooled to a manageable degree. 

“Bella?” he breathed shakily. “Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?” He was suddenly petrified that he had lost control of himself in his passion. 

Her fingers brushed his cheek as she shook her head. “No, of course not.” 

“Then, why…?” 

“Thorin, we are out in the open, where anyone could discover us, however quiet it is here. Besides, I don’t know if I’m ready for more yet.” 

His senses slowly returning to normal, Thorin acknowledged the truth of her words and moved off her, his body instantly missing the feel of hers. He lay back on the blanket, still in a sensual daze. 

Bella sat up and straightened the top of her dress which was askew due to his hand before cupping his cheek. “I’m sorry.” 

Thorin took her hand and kissed the palm. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to go that far, but touching you…” 

“I’m not sorry for that, Thorin. It was wonderful. Today has been wonderful, truly, but it’s our first kiss in more than a year.” 

“I understand, Bella. I love you. You know I do and we’ll go as fast or as slow as you wish. I can’t promise I won’t get carried away again – being near you does that to me – but I’ll always stop if that’s what you want.” 

In response, Bella leaned down and kissed him softly again. Thorin reached up and pulled her down to nestle against him, her head resting on his shoulder as he held her, his hand slowly stroking her hair. 

In the aftermath of their passion, the serene calmness of the moment, coupled with the sheer pleasure of being so close, soon lulled them both into a peaceful slumber. 

The picture of two people deeply in love. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

The four pairs of eyes that were hidden behind a clump of bushes breathed a sigh of relief that things between Thorin and Bella didn’t go any further. It had been touch and go for a moment and they had been backing away as slowly as possible, trying to avoid any sticks or twigs, so as not to alert the couple locked in their passionate embrace. 

The conspirators had got much more than they had bargained for when they decided to see if things were going well for the two star-crossed lovers. 

Fili and Kili’s faces reflected their disgust at witnessing their uncle and Bella, certain that they would be permanently scarred by this. 

Bofur’s face was still red with embarrassment and shame at having intruded on a private moment between his friends. 

Poppy’s face just showed delight that Thorin and Bella’s relationship seemed to heading in the right direction. 

“Well, boys, that was a very successful afternoon, by the looks of it. I don’t think Thorin needs our help anymore,” declared Poppy with satisfaction. 

“Remind me to never, ever, ever, under pain of death, ever spy on uncle again,” declared Fili. “Even if it’s for a good cause.” 

“Eww,” agreed Kili. 

Bofur could only nod his head in accord as they headed back to the village.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the kudos. I' m so glad you like the story. Hope you liked a little bit of romance to celebrate Valentine's Day!


	28. Chapter 28

Poppy’s assessment of Bella and Thorin’s relationship was both correct and incorrect at the same time.

They had grown close enough that Thorin didn’t feel the need to seek any more courting advice from either Primula or Poppy but neither was there a definitive understanding between them, much to Thorin’s frustration.

He wanted to ask Bella for her hand and seek a decision on their future, and where it lay, but he was also terrified to push too hard, lest she retreat back behind her defensive walls.

That Bella never said she loved him was a source of mild angst as well. He knew she did, it was in her eyes when she looked at him, but she hadn’t said the words. He had told her at least half a dozen times, each time disappointed that she hadn’t reciprocated but he couldn’t force them from her lips, any more than he could force her to be his. He had to continue to be patient, as difficult as that was for him.

Underlying all their interactions was the undeniable, sexually-charged tension that thrummed between them whenever they were together. Each look, each touch, was fraught with repressed longings that they didn’t act on. Bella, because she was afraid of the consequences and the decision she had to make and Thorin because he wouldn’t act without her complete consent.

After their picnic, they had stuck to relatively chaste kisses, except for a couple of times when they had nearly lost all restraint, their bodies straining for completion before one or the other had pulled back, regathering their fragile self-control before they were completely swept away by their desire.

A self-control they were finding harder and harder to exercise each time they were together.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It seemed that the day of the spring party was upon them before anyone realised. The day was bright and warm, promising a pleasantly cool evening; a perfect night for merriment. Hobbiton and the surrounding villages hummed with excitement for the festivities to come.

In the week preceding the party, Bella had been busy baking and preparing her contribution towards the food for the night. To her delight, Thorin had spent a lot of time with her in the kitchen as she worked, happy to be her helper as she directed his tasks and accompanying her to the markets for supplies. Occasionally, some of the other dwarves would visit as well, but after Bella realised that the food seemed to disappear almost as fast as she made it, she had shooed them out of Bag End, all except Thorin, and invited them back for dinner so that she had a chance to hide her goods before they got there.

There were a lot of smiles and laughter between her and Thorin as they worked, Bella being the teacher and Thorin, her willing pupil. That this excited Thorin came as a surprise to him and it was while Bella was teaching him the secret to a good icing that all restraint between them was nearly lost.

Bella was demonstrating how to make a light, fluffy icing for a cake, her prim tone as she spoke making Thorin feel hot under the collar. He was having a fantasy of Bella using that tone of voice to order him to do her bidding in their bedroom when he was pulled back to the present by something cool on the tip of his nose. His glazed eyes took a moment to focus and realise that Bella had playfully planted a dollop of the icing on it.

“Are you even listening to me?” she questioned with a knowing smirk. He grinned back and wiped off the icing, licking it off his finger, watching as her eyes avidly followed the movement, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks. 

“Mmm, delicious,” he purred in response, before reaching into the bowl and dipping his finger into it. “Have you tried it?” he asked, as he copied her action and smeared the icing on her cheek. Bella laughed and moved her arm to wipe it off but he grabbed her hand and moved closer. “Let me.” 

Bending down, he licked the icing off slowly, her sharp indrawn breath pleasing him. Instead of moving away, his lips caressed her satiny cheek as they travelled down to her mouth. “Mmm, even more delicious,” he murmured as he licked her lips. 

Bella immediately opened her mouth, a situation he took full advantage of as he proceeded to kiss her hungrily, his tongue savouring the taste of icing on her own. With a tiny mewl, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him even more firmly against her. Thorin reacted instantly, crushing her body to his as he ravaged her mouth. 

The heat in the kitchen owed nothing to the fire in the oven. With no conscious thought, Bella ended up seated on edge of the table, Thorin standing between her legs as they kissed over and over again. His hands roamed feverishly over her back, her own running up and down his muscled chest, only covered by his shirt. 

Thorin moved away from her mouth, ignoring her little groan of protest, and kissed his way down her throat, suckling on her pulse point, enjoying the way she squirmed against him as he did so. 

Seemingly lost in his ardour as his lips reached the top her breast, his fingers preparing to pull down the material that obstructed him from the object of his desire, a faint glimmer of sanity made him pause. With the greatest difficulty, he lifted his head and looked into her eyes. “Are you sure?” 

Bella’s slight, but definite, hesitation was all the answer he needed, as unwanted as it was. With a last chaste kiss to her skin, he straightened up, pulling back so that there was a sliver of space between their bodies. As if awakening from a dream, they slowly disentangled their limbs as Thorin stepped back and helped her down from the table. 

“I’ll go back to the forge now,” he rasped, his body still throbbing with want. “If I stay…” 

She nodded. “I know. I’m sor…” 

“Don’t. You don’t have to apologise. I promised I would stop if that’s what you wanted,” he reminded her. “I’ll see you this evening,” he said, giving her a last sweet kiss on her lips. She nodded at the reminder that the dwarves were coming for dinner and watched him leave, somewhat regretfully. 

Now, she waited for Thorin to come to escort her down to the party, having dressed up in her festive best. She had only seen him in passing today as she delivered her food, the dwarves having been drafted into helping set up. Their height was seen as a boon by the organisers and there had been much merriment as Fili and Kili played around, climbing on each others’ shoulders in order to hang banners and ribbons. Dwalin’s strength was much admired as he hammered in stakes for the tents which would hold food and drink. Thorin and the others had helped lug barrels of ale and Old Toby that would be heartily consumed during the night while Ori happily recorded as much as he could in his book. 

When the knock on her door came, Bella gave herself a last approving look before opening it with a welcoming smile. 

“Beautiful, as always,” said Thorin, bowing low in greeting.  Giggling, Bella curtseyed in response before taking his arm. 

“What a glorious night for the party,” sighed Bella, hugging his arm and drawing a loving smile from his lips. 

“It promises to be quite a feast,” he remarked. 

“There’s certainly enough ale and wine to make it a loud one, at any rate,” laughed Bella. “I think it might just end up being one of the best.” 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Bofur walked to the party with the other dwarves, minus Thorin, all of them dressed up in their best clothes. He had even brushed his hat so that it was free of any specks of dirt. 

The princes were looking forward to dancing with lots of pretty hobbit lasses but were going to be very careful about kissing any of them. They didn’t want a repeat of the incident with Master Bolger’s daughter and there were going to be a lot of fathers there tonight. They were also determined to drag Ori away from his book for once and make him actually join in, despite his protests. If they could get Ori kissed by the end of the party, they would deem it a successful night. 

Dwalin was very much looking forward to an evening of drinking, smoking and lots and lots of good food. Some of his hobbit friends from the Green Dragon had even challenged him to a drinking contest the previous night. Dwalin shook his head and smirked as he contemplated being the sole victor. Yes, it would be a very good night. 

Bifur also looked forward to the night and being surrounded by all the little faunts who would beg him to show them his toys and to be taken for piggy-back rides around the field. He was never happier than when he was with the little ones. Somehow, with them, the language barrier just didn’t seem an issue and they accepted him as he was. 

Bofur, well, he was just looking forward to spending the evening with Poppy. When Thorin left to collect Bella, he wished he had had the courage to ask Poppy to accompany him to the party. He would practise the words in his head over and over, but he couldn’t get them out and now he had to go alone and would have to look for her in the crowd. 

Which would be no mean feat when they saw the amount of people in the party field. It was teeming with hobbits of all shapes and sizes, and the party had only just gotten started. By the time it was in full swing, it was going to be an absolute crush. 

How in Arda was he going to find her in this? He wondered mournfully. He hadn’t even had the wherewithal to suggest a meeting spot to her. Then again, why would she want to be monopolised by him all night? There were many young male hobbits who would no doubt enjoy the company of such a beautiful lass as Poppy. 

The prospect of watching her be surrounded by other males, laughing and flirting, sent him searching for some ale to drown his sorrows, his eyes roving for her, nonetheless. 

On one side of the field, near the large party tree, a band had been set up and were entertaining the crowd already gathered. As the night wore on, and the food and drink eagerly consumed, the dancing had started in earnest. The older hobbits sat around watching the youngsters dance, smoking their pipes or gossiping with friends and neighbours about which hobbit would get the courage to ask which hobbit lass to step out with him. 

Bofur, who still had not found Poppy, watched the young dwarves’ antics amongst the dancers. Ori was shuffling awkwardly, his face beet-red, as he danced with a young hobbit who giggled at his mistakes. Fili and Kili were eagerly teaching a group of lasses some dwarven dance steps, the ladies vying with each other to partner the princes. He caught sight of Thorin and Bella dancing on the edge of the dance area but lost them when the crowd shifted. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he glimpsed a flash of red. Turning, he saw Poppy being led to the dance area by a handsome hobbit and his heart fell. Grabbing another ale from a passing hobbit, Bofur desultorily watched as the hobbit took Poppy in his arms and whirled her around to the beat of the music. 

She looked exquisite, her deep red dress a perfect foil for her dark tresses and sun-kissed skin. The matching red ribbons in her hair twirled teasingly behind her as she moved. He couldn’t see her green eyes in this light but he knew they would be sparkling with life and merriment and he wanted to march up there and claim her as his. 

Instead, another hobbit grabbed Poppy and swung her around before pulling her in even closer than the first one. Seething with jealousy, Bofur didn’t notice that he had broken the earthenware mug he held until he felt the cold liquid on his fingers. 

With a curse, he tossed it aside and attempted to clean his hand, his eyes never leaving the sight of Poppy and her partner. If that upstart tried anything, Bofur wouldn’t be able to stop himself from knocking him out. 

As if she could feel his glare, Poppy twisted her head in his direction and peered through the crowd. She must have seen the corner of his hat because she pulled away from her partner, despite his protests, and sidled through the crowd until she was before him. 

“Bofur! I’ve been looking for you all night!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him. 

Instead of hugging her back, as he would usually do, Bofur stepped back and glared at her. “Looks like you were having too much fun to notice whether I was here or not,” he retorted belligerently. 

Poppy’s eyes widened in shock at the tone of his voice. “The dancing? My mother made me dance with Mungo and then Marroc just cut in.” 

“You didn’t look too upset about it,” replied Bofur, turning away but brought to a halt by her hand on his arm. 

“Bofur, son of Findur, don’t you walk away from me!” she demanded loudly before realising that they were the centre of attention. 

Pulling on his arm, Poppy led Bofur through the partygoers and past the party tree. From there, she led him through a gate in the hedge before stopping at the edge of a field. She let him go and turned to him, her hands on her hips in irritation. “What is the matter with you? I was looking all over for you in the crush until my parents made me sit with the family to eat supper. I was going to continue looking when my mother practically threw me at Mungo. Why didn’t _you_ come and find _me_?” 

Her green eyes were flashing with anger, her cheeks rosy and Bofur couldn’t help thinking how much he wanted to grab her and kiss her senseless, almost making him forget about his jealousy. Almost. 

“I _was_ looking for you and then I see you having a ball on the dance floor. Laughing and flirting with him,” he snapped. 

“And what was I supposed to do? Cry, because I couldn’t find you anywhere? None of this would have happened if you had asked me to go to the party with you,” she retorted heatedly. 

“You would have gone with me?” asked Bofur, all anger draining away. 

Poppy looked at him and shook her head before murmuring, “stupid dwarf.” Without warning, she took hold of his tunic and pulled him abruptly towards her and kissed him. 

It took Bofur’s brain a few moments to process the fact that Poppy, his beloved Poppy, was kissing him fiercely. Then it was like one of Gandalf’s whizz poppers went off. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back, his heart almost bursting with joy. 

They kissed for several minutes before their lips reluctantly parted but remained in each other’s arms. They rested their foreheads together, their eyes telling each other what they had not been able to express previously. 

“Stupid dwarf,” she repeated affectionately. “I don’t know how much more I was going to have to do to get you to kiss me.” 

“You…you want me?” asked Bofur dazedly. 

“Of course I do! How many hints did you want? I am always practically throwing myself into your arms,” huffed Poppy. “Thorin isn’t the only one who’s clueless when comes to females.” 

Bofur’s face broke out into a huge grin before he swooped and kissed her ardently again. They were both breathless when they broke apart. “I love you, Poppy. I have since the moment I saw you but I was too much of a coward to tell you. I couldn’t believe that someone like you would want a crusty, old dwarf like me,” he admitted wryly. 

Poppy caressed his face and beard, tracing the line of his lips. “I love you too, Bofur. And to me, you are perfect as you are.” 

“Marry me?” he asked before he had a chance to wake from this dream. 

“Yes. Yes, I’d love to marry you, my Bofur,” she replied joyfully. 

She didn’t get a chance to say anything else as her lips were occupied for the longest time after that. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

A sensual tension seemed to hum between Thorin and Bella, which both were acutely aware of. Every time he would take her hand, or touch her, the energy between them fairly sizzled. 

She kept her hand wrapped around his arm as they wandered through the party-goers, often being stopped for a chat or gossip. Bella noted the way Thorin was eyed over by many female hobbits and felt a possessive pride that she was the one on his arm. Even when they weren’t touching, they stayed near each other as Thorin talked with the males and Bella had a giggle with the ladies. They paused to talk with Dwalin who had already started his drinking competition with his hobbit friends, scoffing at their insistence that a dwarf could not beat a hobbit when it came to drinking ale. 

When they grew hungry, Thorin led them to the food tent and helped her pile her plate high with various treats. He carried the plates to a couple of spare seats while she held the ale and wine for their drinks. Bella was not intending to over imbibe but she did think she deserved a festive drink or two. 

While they ate, their gazes would lock and they could feel their pulses race, Bella’s cheeks blushing becomingly each time Thorin smiled at her. After finishing, Thorin took Bella’s hand and led her towards the dancing where they caught sight of the boys. 

Thorin sighed. “Those two will turn my hair completely grey,” he lamented with a wry smile. “Kili had better behave himself tonight.” 

Bella laughed affectionately. “They are just having fun, Thorin. There are way too many fathers, uncles and brothers around for them to get into too much trouble.” 

“Fili and Kili are masters at finding trouble. You know this, Bella.” They grinned at each other before looking back at the dancers. “Is…is that…Ori?” he asked incredulously. 

Bella followed his gaze and spluttered with laughter when she caught sight of the shy young dwarf looking helplessly between two girls who were arguing over who was going to dance with him first. “Oh my! He looks like he’d rather be taking on Smaug again than be standing there,” she choked through her giggles. Thorin, caught up in her mirth, joined her and they both stood there for ages, laughing at Ori’s predicament. 

Eventually, they somehow managed to regain their composure. “I sense the hands of my nephews are somewhat involved in Ori’s dilemma,” he commented drolly. 

“I believe you are right, Thorin. Still, what could it hurt?” she concurred. 

“It is good for him to get a taste of life outside of his books,” stated Thorin. 

They watched the dancing for while longer, Bella explaining what the dances meant. “This one that’s starting is a fertility dance.” Thorin’s eyebrows lifted at that. “For a good harvest,” she rushed to finish, blushing at what Thorin naturally assumed. “The other type…has its own dance, and only married or betrothed couples should dance to it.” 

Thorin smirked knowingly at her, his blue eyes gleaming with a mix of mirth and desire which made breathing somewhat difficult for Bella. “Would my lady like to join me in a dance?” he asked, his deep voice husky with suppressed longing. 

Bella could only nod and soon found herself led by the hand to the edge of the crowd. The music changed and the other dancers paired up for the slower tempo, the females’ arms on their partners’ shoulders while they held the females’ waists and began swinging around slowly. 

Taking note, Thorin placed his hands on Bella’s waist and drew her close, closer than strictly necessary. Bella’s hands fluttered to his shoulders, his silky hair making her nerve endings tingle. “Do…do you know this dance?” she asked breathlessly. 

“No, but I believe we can make it up as we go,” he replied, his hands tightening imperceptibly. 

The music, the party and their fellow dancers faded into the background as they moved, their bodies scandalously close. They didn’t speak; their eyes conveying everything that needed to be said. 

One of Thorin’s hands crept around her back and pulled her into him, the dim light and the crowd effectively hiding their movements. Bella was close enough to feel his desire through the layers of their clothing and unconsciously rubbed her hips against him. His swift indrawn breath made her feel reckless and she did it again. She felt, more than heard, his low growl as his hand moved down to cup her backside so as to enable him to grind himself into her. 

“Mahal, what you do to me,” he murmured huskily. 

His words brought her back to their surroundings. They were practically making love in public. She should have been ashamed but her body was aflame with desire, the few wines she had had with dinner making her feel brave. Wordlessly, she stepped back and took his hand. His eyes, heavy lidded with desire, looked at her intently, an unspoken question in them. 

In answer, she led him through the throng, not stopping to acknowledge anyone, just needing to be away from here. Silently, they left the party and walked back to Bag End, their footsteps seeming to echo with their urgency. 

With shaking hands, she unlocked the door and walked inside, Thorin at her heels. The door slammed behind her and in the next instant her body was pressed back into it, the heat from Thorin’s body nearly scorching. His action gave her a moment’s anxiety but the need coursing through her body was too great to pay it any heed. 

His hands threaded through her hair, his fingers dislodging the ribbons so that it fell unbound about her shoulders. With a small groan, Thorin claimed her mouth, kissing her with a desperation he’d never felt before. Their tongues clashed as they strived to get even closer, his body deliciously crushing hers. Bella’s hands had taken hold of Thorin’s hair, clutching at it as if it was the only thing anchoring her to this world. 

They were lost in the throes of their passion so it was naught but a relief when his hands skimmed down her body to the edge of her skirt and began working it up between their bodies. Bella moaned her approval when his fingers reached where she ached for him, and began rubbing her through her drawers, the material soon soaked with her desire. His mouth moved to suckle the pointy tip of her ear and she nearly climaxed right then and there, a small cry emitting from her mouth. Her hips bucked against his hand, wordlessly pleading for more. Nipping at her neck, he pushed down her drawers enough so that he could get his hand inside. He swallowed thickly as his fingers traced her lush flesh, soaked with her moisture and found her little pearl. If this was a dream, he prayed to Mahal to never wake up. 

“More,” she panted, one hand clutching the back of his tunic while the other made its way down to cup his raging erection, still entrapped by his clothes. In response, Thorin slipped one finger into her, a modicum of sanity reminding him that it had been a long time since they’d been together like this. When she wordlessly urged him on, he added another finger, closing his eyes as he imagined it was his manhood inside her. 

By now, her frantic cries were driving him mad and when her little hand snaked down into his breeches to take his engorged member in it, he just about lost control. He bit down gently on the skin of her shoulder as he tried to stop himself spending in her hand as she caressed him. He was teetering dangerously on the edge. 

“Bella?” he ground out. “Bella…are you…is this…what…oh…you really…want?” he panted, his eyes nearly rolling to the back of his head when she cupped his heavy balls and gently squeezed. “Please…tell me…now,” he begged. “I…can’t…” 

“Yes,” she breathed into his ear. “I need…you…inside me.” 

With a triumphant growl at her words, he captured her lips hungrily as his free hand pulled down her dress, freeing her breasts, puckered in their arousal, before joining its twin under her skirts. With one hard tug, he ripped her drawers down the middle so that the material hung limply around her ankles. 

Bella gave a small gasp when those same hands lifted her up by her bottom, her back still pressed against the door, and he rubbed himself against her wetness, coating himself. 

She was frantic for him by now so she angled her hips in an effort to get even closer, her lips sucking on Thorin’s neck. When he finally sank into her, she couldn’t stop the moan of relief and pleasure that was wrung from her. It mingled with his gasp and all movement stopped for a heartbeat, both of them savouring the sensation of being one again, after so long. 

“Oh, Bella,” he breathed into her hair, grinding his teeth to stop himself from climaxing as she gripped him tightly. 

“Move,” she demanded breathlessly. 

“As my…queen…demands,” he panted, withdrawing a little before pushing back in. 

Bella’s legs locked around his waist but she felt completely secure in his hold, the movement drawing him in even deeper. 

Thorin tried to go slowly and gently but it had been too long, and he had been wanting her so desperately that he found it impossible. When she ground her hips into him, trying to have as much of him as she could, he gave an internal sigh of gratitude and promised that next time he would take all the time in the world to worship her properly. 

Now… now he needed her just to survive. 

The two were completely lost to their passion as they moved together, their harsh breathing the only sound in the hallway. Over and over, he ground into her, taking her higher and higher each time, until he was the only thing that existed in her world. She could feel her body tighten, as if an invisible string was being pulled tauter and tauter with every thrust. 

When he lowered his head and took her nipple into his mouth and at the same time, gave a deep roll of his hips that caused a flood of new sensations, the string finally snapped. 

Throwing her head back against the door, she let out a sensual wail as wave upon wave of ecstasy crashed over her, drowning her in erotic delight. Her body shuddered from so much pleasure, her face flushed a rosy pink. 

The feel of her body, tightening around him as she reached her peak, was the catalyst for Thorin’s own climax. Grinding himself as close as physically possible, he gave a hoarse cry as he spent himself inside her for seemingly endless moments, giving her all he was. 

While the storm subsided, they remained pressed together against the door, their ragged breathing witness to what had just occurred. 

Coming back to his senses a little, Thorin turned his head and rained soft kisses on her dewy skin before claiming her lips again, this time in utter love and devotion, rather than need and arousal. 

“I love you,” he whispered against her lips. “I love you, so much.”   


Bella kissed him back and tightened her arms around him, still lost in a sensual daze. He was still holding her up and she could feel him inside her. She wriggled a little and was surprised to feel him begin to harden again. Dwarves and their stamina. 

“Keep that up, my love, and we’ll stay against this door for the rest of the night,” he joked, his eyes gleaming with renewed ardour. 

“Then… I suggest…we…head to…my bed…chamber,” she replied between kisses. “I think…something softer…than my…front door…would…be nice.” 

“Wonderful…idea.” 

To her dismay, he set her down, her body instantly cold from the lack of his, and pulled up his breeches over himself. With a sensual smile, he scooped her into his arms and walked towards her chamber, his eyes plastered on her exposed breasts. 

“Oh, I have missed these,” he murmured as he lowered his head to lick one taut nipple. “My treasures.” 

Bella couldn’t help but giggle at his words. “Silly dwarf. They’re nothing special.” 

Thorin just looked at her from under his brows. “Nothing special? Oh no, my Bella. Your bounteous breasts have enslaved me from the moment I saw you. I would gladly pay homage to them forever. In fact, I plan to start right now.” 

Elbowing his way into her room, he gently placed her on her bed and sat beside her. He reached out and stroked her hair, slightly damp from their previous activity before softly tracing his finger over her brow, moving over her nose to her lips, which parted in anticipation. He then continued downwards, over the skin of her throat and her collarbones before reaching the tops of her breasts, pushed up by the material of her dress and which were now rising and falling swiftly from her agitated breathing. 

Seemingly lost in his own thoughts, he slowly rimmed each nipple before stroking them, drawing a soft gasp from her. 

The first storm of lust having been slaked, Thorin kept his word and proceeded to worship her body. Slow, gentle movements, punctuated by kisses and sighs, went on for a long time as he disrobed her and himself. 

For several moments, they just gazed at each other’s naked bodies, admiring that which had been denied them for so long and noting the changes. Bella kissed each new scar, thanking the Valar for sparing his life and he gloried in her fuller figure that enticed him even more than before. 

When they finally came together again, they savoured each and every sensation, prolonging their fulfillment as long as possible so that when the end came, it was like no other coupling they’d had before. 

Afterwards, they clung to each other as their bodies cooled, overcome by the intensity of emotions they had experienced until they finally slumbered. 

And it was if their bodies could not get enough of the other, for, several times during the night, they came together in ecstasy until the first pale rays of dawn shone through her window and their sated bodies succumbed to exhaustion and they slept, their limbs still entwined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your comments and kudos. I hope you enjoyed that chapter - I did :)


	29. Chapter 29

The sensation of something tickling his nose woke Thorin up with a start. His groggy mind didn’t immediately register where he was or what had woken him as he forced his eyes open. What he was met with was a tangled nest of golden curls, one of them responsible for waking him up, belonging to the body pressed back against his own.

Bella.

Immediately, images of the wondrous night they had shared flooded his memory, filling him with such happiness that he didn’t know if he could contain it. His arm was wrapped around her middle, as if he couldn’t let go of her even in his sleep. Gently, so as not to wake her, he tightened his grip, revelling in the feel of her soft skin pressed all along his, the air redolent with the scent of their lovemaking.

The room was flooded with light coming through her window and Thorin guessed that it was roughly around noon. Little wonder, he thought to himself, seeing as they hadn’t slept until dawn. The night had been too special to waste with sleeping.

Sighing contentedly, he lay there, recalling all that had passed between them last night. From their frenzied passion that led him to take her up against her door, to the hours of unhurried lovemaking, where he had left not one single bit of skin unloved. That Bella had done the same to him, loving him with her hands, mouth and body, had him stirring again and he absently wondered how long before she woke so that he could demonstrate his love again as he had over and over in the dark of the night.

To distract himself, his mind wandered to their future. Would she wish for them to stay here in Hobbiton or would she consent to return to Erebor?

When he had first arrived he had hoped that Bella would return to Erebor as his queen. Then he would have everything he wanted; his kingdom and his beloved wife. He was sincere in his offer to remain in Hobbiton but his heart fervently hoped that she would not choose that option.

As time wore on, though, that desire seemed to weaken. Whether it was the peaceful nature of the place or it was because Bella was here, he thought less and less about his life in the mountain. As selfish as it was, he was enjoying not having the responsibilities placed on him due to his birth right. For the first time in his life, he was just an ordinary person instead of a king whose people looked to him for guidance in everything. The immense pressures of caring for his people, finding them a new home, ensuring their survival and then reclaiming their ancestral home, and the enormous work of restoring it back to something resembling what it was, had worn him down. He had shouldered that burden for so long that it was only when it was gone that he realised the toll it had taken on him.

He was supremely grateful that he had family, friends and councillors to help him along the way, but the responsibility had always ultimately rested with him. His peoples’ survival depended on the decisions he made and a wrong one could result in their harm. That was why he had told Gandalf that he wouldn’t be responsible for Bella’s fate on the quest. He didn’t think he could take on any more onto his shoulders. Of course, his heart had never believed it as it had already been enslaved by her and he knew that he would do whatever it took to keep her safe.

In the end, it had been she that had kept him safe.

He knew that returning to Erebor would mean a return to the burdens of being a king again. It was different now, as they would not be struggling for their sheer survival. His neighbouring kingdoms were now his friends and allies and life was getting better for all of them. But the duties of a king would still require his time and energy, time that would take him away from his beloved. There would be times when he may only see her at night or when he would have to leave her if there was a need to protect their borders.

Here, in Hobbiton, his time was his own. He knew it was an idyll but it was getting harder and harder to contemplate leaving it. If he wanted to spend the day with Bella, he could. He didn’t have to make decisions that impacted on others; his only concern being Bella and ensuring her happiness.

If they stayed, he would have to return to Erebor to officially abdicate. The thought of it didn’t disturb him as much as he believed it would, though leaving his nephews and sister would be a wrench. He would console himself with the fact that travel was safer and that they could visit each other, despite the distance.

He smiled wistfully as he imagined hosting them at Bag End, Bella round with his babe, whilst their older children rushed around greeting their relatives.

Yes, he could be very content to remain in Hobbiton for the rest of his days.

It simply remained for Bella to tell him of her decision.

Bella stirring in her sleep dragged his thoughts back to the present, but she still didn’t wake up. Thorin carefully lifted himself up, resting on one elbow, and gazed lovingly down at her beloved face. Her lips were slightly swollen and reddened, a result of all the kisses he had demanded from her, which she had willingly given. He looked down over her uncovered torso, and could see the numerous little marks on her skin, evidence of the strength of his passion. He imagined he had a number on his own flesh, as Bella had been just as ferocious in her desire at times. He grinned proudly at the thought of being marked by his One.

When his stomach rumbled rather loudly, Thorin decided to prepare breakfast for them both. She would probably be ravenous when she woke, after all their exertions during the night. Besides, they would need sustenance as he had no plans of letting her out of that bed any time soon.

Slowly, he rolled off the bed, standing and stretching his tired but very content muscles before pulling on his breeches. He dropped a whisper-soft kiss on her cheek and left the room.

Spotting some white cloth by the front door, he strode over and picked it up, smirking as he recognised the remnants of Bella’s drawers that he had destroyed in his eagerness to get to her. He would purchase several more for her if it meant he got to enjoy the pleasure of ripping them off her body.

Throwing the material scraps in the rubbish, he proceeded to prepare breakfast for the two of them, unconsciously whistling as he worked. Finding a tray, he loaded the bacon and eggs he cooked, as well as some scones he found in the pantry. He made sure he added some cream and jam to the tray as well as two mugs of tea. As a last touch, he raced out the front door, uncaring that he was only wearing breeches and anyone could see him, and picked a few flowers from her front yard, placing them in a small vase and adding it to the tray.

Satisfied, he carried the tray to Bella’s room and placed it on her dresser, after making some room, so that he could kiss her awake.

Kneeling on the floor, he leant over and rubbed his lips against hers, coaxing her from slumber. Bella’s mouth opened as she stirred and he took the opportunity to suck her bottom lip gently, pulling on it for a moment before moving to her cheek and down to her neck, nibbling on the fragrant skin there.

Bella let out a sleepy moan at his attentions before finally opening her eyes to see Thorin grin and kiss her properly as he wrapped his arms around her to lift her into him. Automatically, her arms wrapped around his neck as they lost themselves in the moment, only interrupted by the loud growl from her stomach.

Pulling back, Thorin chuckled and kissed her nose before standing up to grab the tray. Which was a huge effort in itself, as Bella was sitting up naked, the sheets pooled at her waist. His mouth literally watered as he gazed at her soft, full breasts and he was about to put the tray down and feast on her instead but her stomach grumbled again.

“Sorry,” she laughed softly.

Admonishing himself for his selfishness, Thorin placed the tray on the bed and sat down. “Can’t have my hobbit going hungry,” he replied with a smile. “Especially after the night she had.” He was gratified to see the blush creep up her body at the reminder of their lovemaking, the rosy blush covering most of her torso but then frowning as she moved to get out of bed.

“Where are you going?” he asked, staring at her naked body as she walked to her wardrobe.

“I need to clean up a little,” she explained, somewhat shyly. “I’ll be right back.”

Thorin nodded in understanding. They both needed a good bath. Perhaps he could persuade her to save time and effort and bathe together, he mused happily. After they had made love several more times, of course.

Bella returned shortly, wearing only the patchwork robe that she had been wearing all that time ago, and he smiled fondly at the memory now.

“Were you awake long?” she asked as she sat back on the bed and Thorin handed her the tea. “You look like you’ve been busy,” she commented as she looked at the food.

“Not too long. I was woken by an errant curl that decided to tickle my nose,” he teased. “I must say, it beats being woken up by Dwalin.”

Bella giggled at the thought as they dove into their breakfast. Neither realised just how hungry they actually were until they began eating and it was polished off in no time at all.

“Mmm, that was lovely. Thank you,” said Bella, admiring the way Thorin’s breeches hugged his hips and legs as he stood to leave the tray outside the door. He would clean up later. Much later.

Thorin could feel her eyes on him and his body reacted as it always did when he was near her. When he turned back, the material of his breeches was straining to contain him and his eyes glazed over when he saw her licking her lips as she stared at the prominent bulge.

Wordlessly, he opened the buttons and pushed the material down his legs, standing before her in all his naked glory. He watched her breathing become laboured as her eyes roved over all of him, from the tangled hair on his head, the glittering blue eyes that burned with lust, his defined, muscled chest and arms and down over his legs, covered in a dusting of hair that didn’t hide the strength of them before returning back up to his taut, proud erection that ached for her, despite the number times he’d already had her.

Bella looked into his eyes, hers burning with the same need as his, and slowly undid her robe before shrugging it off her shoulders. All semblance of shyness or modesty was long gone as she kneeled on the bed, beckoning him with her lush nakedness. With a tiny smirk, she lifted her arms to him and it signalled the end of any control he possessed.

With a low, possessive growl, Thorin crawled onto the bed and pulled her into him, one hand on her bottom as he ground her into his manhood while the other tangled itself into her hair so that he could devour her mouth. Entwined, so that not even a piece of parchment would fit between their bodies, they swayed together in their urgency to reach the ecstasy they had attained over and over during the night. A part of Thorin was amazed that he could feel such burning need for her again, so soon.

Mindless, Bella pulled him down on top of her, curling her legs around his hips, her body open and craving his possession. Obeying her unspoken demand, he plunged into her, drawing a gasp from her at the same time that she began rolling her hips, using her legs for leverage.

Raising himself onto his hands, bending one knee so that he was as deeply inside her as possible, he began the timeless rhythmic dance, each loud moan from her inciting him to thrust harder and faster, grunting softly from his efforts. His eyes were fixed on her breasts as they swayed with their movements until he had to bend his head and take one in his mouth.

His teeth biting teasingly on her nipple seemed to unlock the floodgates, and with a small cry, she climaxed under him, her nails digging into his shoulders in her wild abandonment. A couple more urgent, unco-ordinated thrusts and he was crying out hoarsely, collapsing onto her as his body shook from the delirious pleasure she wrung from him.

Neither of them spoke as they attempted to recover from the intensity of their lovemaking, aftershocks shooting through them as their breathing and pulses slowed down.

Thorin rolled off her, sucking in his breath at the small surge of pleasure he felt as he withdrew, her sex still gripping him tightly despite their ecstatic release. He pulled her to him, enfolding her in his arms as they cooled, both of them covered in a fine sheen of sweat.

They lay drowsily for a long time, Thorin believing Bella had fallen asleep again until she began idly playing with the whorls of hair on his chest. He covered it with own and lifted her hand to his lips, kissing each fingertip before placing it back on his chest.

“Bella?”

“Hmm?” she replied sleepily.

“What happens now? Do we stay here or do we return to Erebor?”

He felt her stiffen in his arms at the question and hastened to reassure her. “If you’re not certain yet, I can wait. I just wondered which way you were leaning, that’s all.”

Instead of relaxing her, Bella pulled away from him and sat up, fumbling for her robe.

“Bella? What’s wrong?” he asked her, a puzzled frown on his handsome face. “You accepted me, so I am curious…” His voice drifted off as she pulled on her robe with jerky movements and clumsily tried to tie it as she stood up. “You have accepted me…haven’t you?”

“I…I…no…I…” she stammered.

Heart pounding, Thorin stood up, uncaring about his nudity. “Bella? You accepted me. I asked if you were sure. We made love…over and over…”

“I thought you meant…if I was sure…about making…love. I wasn’t…I’m not…sure,” she stumbled over her words, looking everywhere but at him.

Thorin felt like that vice like grip on his heart that he had woken to from his injuries, and which had disappeared when he saw her again, was back. His mind was racing in his confusion.

“You’re not sure?” he asked incredulously, his voice reflecting his roiling emotions. “You’re not sure if you want to be my wife? To be with me? If you can trust me? Is that it?”

Bella nodded, her eyes darting all over the room.

Feeling like he was drowning, Thorin grabbed his breeches and pulled them on, trying to make sense of everything. As he donned his shirt, he could feel the anger rise.

“Why? Have I not done everything I can to prove myself to you? Have I not apologised over and over for what I did? Why did you sleep with me if you were not sure?” His voice rose at the end and he struggled to control it.

Bella’s eyes glistened as she wrung her hands nervously. “I…I wanted you. I…can’t…explain…”

“So, I’m redeemed enough in your eyes to sleep with, but not enough to accept as your husband. Was this to be a one time event? Were you going to discard me once you had your fill of my body?” he sneered.

“No! Oh, how can I explain? I just don’t know if I can trust you…” she replied tearfully.

Thorin looked at her and he felt like he was aging before her eyes. His very bones felt like lead at the realisation of what she was doing. The anger he was feeling disappeared, leaving only a gaping emptiness filled only with the boulder-sized weight he felt in his chest.

“I see all now,” he said woodenly. At her puzzled glance, he gave her a mirthless smirk. “Yes, I see. This is your revenge, your punishment, for what I did. You were never really going to forgive me, were you? Nothing I did, or will do, will ever be enough to earn your forgiveness for my mistake. You were going to lead me to believe that we could be together, that we had a future, wherever that may be, and then kill my dreams for us, like I almost killed you.”

Bella shook her head in denial. “No, Thorin…”

Thorin looked down in order to compose himself. “I congratulate you, Bella. You couldn’t have succeeded any better. You have avenged yourself and I concede defeat.”

He moved stiffly past her still body, picking up the rest of his clothing and clumsily pulled them on. Bella hadn’t moved from her spot.

Fully dressed, he reached for something in his tunic as he faced her dresser. “It is what I deserve. My crime was always too great for your forgiveness and I don’t know why I ever believed I could ever earn it, or your trust. It was a fool’s hope that I had. And I am the world’s greatest fool, aren’t I? For not seeing or admitting your worth from the very beginning, for allowing myself to succumb to that disease but mostly, for believing, for even the smallest time, that I could have it all. I have been alone all my life, so I shall die alone, repenting of my stupidity each and every day.”

His voice sounded dead, even to his own ears and he could her hear her breath catching.

“I will return to Erebor, and allow you to live your life in peace. I will organise a way to get your share of the treasure to you, as is your due.” He could hear her start to protest but he cut her off. “It was part of the contract, and Thorin Oakenshield is done breaking his word. What you do with it is your business, but you will receive it.”

He opened his hand and placed two items on her dresser. One was the key that unlocked the secret entrance to Erebor, that he had carried for all those months on the quest; the other was the small, silver bead that he had given her on their betrothal in Laketown.

“Despite everything, know that I will always love you, Bella. I cannot shut it off, as much as I wish I could. You will always be my One. If…if ever you should need my help, I will always answer your call. If there ever comes a time you come to Erebor, even if only to visit one of the company, the key will guarantee your right to enter my kingdom at your will. My door will always be open to you. And the bead? It is yours. I will never use it now…so you may as well keep it.”

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes in pain. He had gambled and lost. He now had to find a way to go on without his heart and soul. For not the first time, he wished Mahal had taken him when he had the chance. At least he would not have to endure this agony.

“I would never have believed you to be cruel,” he whispered brokenly. “I didn’t think it was in you, but then, I have been wrong about many things.”

Squaring his shoulders, he turned and saw Bella sobbing into her hands.  He ached to hold her, but he had no right. He had destroyed that right on that accursed day. 

“Goodbye, Bella. May Mahal keep you safe for all your days,” he said, his voice cracking at the end. 

Without looking at her, he strode from the room and out of Bag End, pausing at the door for a moment, the sound of her sobs ringing in his ears. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

He strode back to the forge, the fierce scowl on his face deterring anybody, even the most hung-over stragglers, from saying anything to him. 

Fool! Fool! Fool! 

How could he have believed for one moment that his actions were worthy of true forgiveness? That he deserved to ever have her trust again? He had never deserved it. He had known this in his heart before he ever set out from Erebor, but he needed to know for certain. He had to know if the hope he had held was justified. 

It wasn’t. 

Bella’s punishment was great indeed. He had truly believed that she had forgiven him, that they were working towards regaining that closeness they had shared for such a short time. That they would become one. 

His stunned mind couldn’t quite comprehend how well she had deceived him. All those looks, the conversations, the unfulfilled desire between them, until last night – they had all been lies. All part of her revenge. 

He knew he had been cruel to her at times during their journey, and he had sincerely apologised for it after they became friends, but he would never have done this. He simply could not lie like that. Her cruelty took his breath away. 

And yet, he couldn’t be angry at her, however much he wanted to rail and shout and destroy something in his agony. He had brought this on himself. 

He loved her still. He would never stop loving her, ever. He would take his last breath - and right now, he hoped it would be soon - and still carry her in his heart. 

The boulder that seemed to be squeezing the breath from him was getting larger with each step. When he came within sight of the forge, he knew he couldn’t go in yet. He needed…he didn’t know what he needed. 

Turning away from the forge, he walked, staggered, into the surrounding forest and continued on, not heeding where he was going until he collapsed at the foot of birch tree. 

He looked up, but his vision was blurred and he was struggling to breathe. A corner of his mind was praying that this was his end, the pain shooting through him becoming unbearable. 

In the maelstrom of emotions and thoughts, he became vaguely aware of someone crying, no, sobbing, but didn’t have the strength to look around to see who it was. 

It was a long time before he realised it was him. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Bofur was whistling merrily as he returned home. He had just come from Poppy’s home where he had formally asked her father for her hand in marriage. He didn’t want to waste any more time. Neither did Poppy. 

They had spent several hours in that field last night, talking and kissing. Lots and lots of kissing. But no more than that, though Mahal help him, it had taken all his will power to stop himself from claiming her totally. Not that Poppy was any help. She had displayed an eagerness and passion for him that boded for much pleasure in their marriage bed. 

However much Bofur wanted Poppy, he was determined to marry her first and all her efforts to get him to change his mind were not going to dissuade him from this decision. To this end, they decided that they were going to marry as soon as possible. Sitting far enough away from her wandering hands, they talked about where they would live and how her parents would react to her marrying a dwarf and how long it would be before they could be married in Hobbiton. 

When Poppy had described the normal courtship period for hobbits, Bofur had nearly groaned aloud. How was he to stop himself from bedding her when everything about her tempted him? If was just his own desires, he may have been able to control them, but he would be no match for hers. The cheeky twinkle in her eyes told him that she would do her best to wear him down. 

Luckily, Poppy decreed that the time they had spent as friends counted as their courtship and that if her parents objected, she would defy them and marry him anyway. She had reached her majority and didn’t have to have their permission. Bofur hoped it wouldn’t come to that as he didn’t want Poppy to be in conflict with her family over him. 

They spoke about where to live for a long while. They knew that whichever place they chose to spend their lives, one of them would be a long way away from their family but being together was more important. 

It was very late by the time Bofur walked Poppy home, both of them bursting with joy, though there still many hobbits partying, while others staggered home, wishing them a good night in loud, drunken voices. 

With one last, passionate kiss, Bofur left, promising to come in the morning to see her father. He was sure he slept with a grin on his face for what remained of the night. 

The next day, the three younger dwarves stumbled out to the kitchen, their faces registering the extent of their hangovers. Bifur was chattering away happily as he cooked some breakfast for them, while Dwalin was still passed out on the floor beside the fire where his hobbit companions had left him. It didn’t look like he was going to be coming around any time soon. 

None of them missed the obvious fact that Thorin had not come home last night. Kili let out a half-hearted ‘whoop’ before groaning and clutching his head. 

Bofur decided to keep his news to himself until everyone was in a fit state to take it in. Greeting everyone cheerfully, he whittled away anxiously until it was time to visit Poppy. 

Seated in her parent’s sitting room, nervously twisting his hat, which he had removed out of respect to her father, he waited for Poppy’s parents to speak. Poppy took one of his hands and looked pleadingly at them. 

“So, you want to take my little Poppy to the other side of Middle Earth to live inside a mountain?” asked Fortinbras Gardner sternly. “Hobbits don’t live underground.” 

“If I may speak freely, Master Gardner?” asked Bofur, squeezing Poppy’s hand. At the older hobbit’s nod, he continued. “Poppy and I discussed this at length before we came to you. You see, while I was part of the Company of Thorin Oakenshield that helped reclaim the Lonely Mountain, I don’t have the attachment to it that the others feel. I was not born there, neither were my kin. I joined because it was a chance to make a fortune, have an adventure and because I greatly admire Thorin, not because I wanted my home back. I have spent much of my life on the road, not in mountain dwellings. I have come to love Hobbiton, and not only because of Poppy. I feel at peace here and I have been welcomed by the good folk of the Shire. I would be happy to live here with my wife for the rest of my days. Of course, I would love to take Poppy to see Erebor and meet my brother and his family, perhaps as a wedding trip. I know she would enjoy seeing the marvels of Erebor and see some of the world but our home would be here. Wherever we lived, though, I would love Poppy with all my heart and do everything to ensure she was happy and safe.” 

He looked at Poppy, who’s eyes were shining with unshed tears as she smiled at him lovingly before turning back to her parents. The older couple looked at each other, communicating silently as couples of long-standing do, before turning back to their daughter and her suitor. 

Fortinbras cleared his throat before speaking. “Well, that was a very pretty speech, Master Bofur. Very pretty. And very convincing as well.” He looked at Poppy. “Is this what you really want, Poppy?” 

“Yes, Papa. I love Bofur with all my heart. He is the best person I have ever known and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him and our children.” Bofur’s grin was almost blinding. 

Fortinbras Gardner sighed the sigh of a father who knew he had to let his little girl go into the care of another hobbit, or in her case, dwarf. Still, he could now boast of being the only hobbit to have a dwarf as a son-in-law. And a very rich one, so his daughter would want for nothing. 

“Very well then, you have my blessing.” Poppy shrieked with happiness before engulfing her father in a hug and then doing the same with her mother. Bofur settled for a strong handshake and a kiss on his future mother-in-law’s cheek. 

The only protest they put up was the speed with which the wedding was to take place, but Poppy argued her case and they backed down. They would be wed in one month’s time, and Bofur would count down every minute. 

It was late afternoon when he returned to the forge and he first saw Dwalin sitting at the table, nursing a dragon-sized hangover. 

“Ahh, the warrior awakes!” teased Bofur, earning himself a scowl. “So, did you win your drinking competition?” 

Dwalin groaned before dropping his head onto the table. “Who would’ve thought those little runts could hold their drink like that?” Bofur burst out laughing. 

Fili and Kili walked in from outside, carrying baskets of left over food which had been pressed into their hands. “Looks like we’ll be eating well tonight,” grinned Fili. 

“Has Thorin returned yet?” asked Bofur, looking around. 

Kili shook his head, a cheeky grin on his face. “Not yet. I wonder what could have kept him?” he asked, the brothers chuckling knowingly. 

“Who knows when we’ll see him,” remarked Dwalin. “Probably wrapped around his hobbit as we speak.” 

The heavy footsteps coming from the forge had them turning around but the look on Thorin’s face was not what any of them expected. 

Instead of the joyous expression of someone who finally got his heart’s desire, Thorin’s face showed utter devastation, his skin pale and haggard and there was no disguising the sorrow behind the puffy eyelids. 

“Uncle?” said Fili, his face showing the puzzlement they all felt. 

“We leave for Erebor tomorrow morning,” stated Thorin harshly. 

“What? Tomorrow?” cried Kili. “What about…?” 

“I SAID, we leave tomorrow! Either you are ready when I leave or you will be left behind. Let the others know,” he retorted, his voice hard. 

“What happened?” asked Dwalin in shock. 

Thorin rounded on him in anger. “IT IS OVER!. Our stay is over and we return to Erebor, where we belong,” he continued, trying to control his temper. 

“And is Bella coming too?” asked Fili. 

“No! Now do as I say and prepare for our departure,” he ground out and turned to go into the forge. 

“Uncle! What are you…” questioned Fili. What was going on? 

“NO MORE! JUST DO AS I SAID!” roared Thorin. 

“I’m not coming,” came the calm voice of Bofur, stopping Thorin in his tracks. At his king’s questioning look, he told the others of his news. “I’m going to wed Poppy and we are staying in Hobbiton.”

No-one quite knew what to do. Something catastrophic had happened between Bella and Thorin for him to suddenly want to leave the Shire and at the same time, another of their Company had achieved his heart’s goal. 

There was silence until Thorin himself, broke it. “Congratulations to you and Poppy. At least one of us got what they wanted.” 

With that, he stormed out of the room, leaving several bewildered dwarves behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so.... Before you curse me to Mordor and back, I promise that this will be resolved very soon as the story is coming to an end. I'm a devoted HEA girl, so hang in there. Mind you, I was yelling at Bella for her idiocy - and I'm writing the damned thing!
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos - it's very much appreciated.


	30. Chapter 30

Bella sat in the deepening gloom of her sitting room, not bothering to light her candles or a fire, despite the coldness running through her body.

No fire was going to chase this chill away.

After Thorin had left, she had slumped to her bedroom floor and sobbed harder than she ever had. How had everything turned around so quickly? One moment, they were making passionate love, the next, Thorin was leaving her, possibly forever.

She knew not how long she lay there, but finally managed to rouse herself enough to pull on the first clothes she found and leave the room that was now forever to be infused with the memories of her and Thorin.

Numb, she made her way to the sitting room, where she remained still.

Her mind was whirling, Thorin’s words repeating over and over. He was leaving. He was returning to Erebor. He believed she was avenging herself. He thought she was cruel.

Over the next hours, her emotions swung wildly between anger and despair.

How dare he just leave? Didn’t he say he would do whatever it took to win her back and now, because she still had a seed of doubt, he gave up? Just like that? Why did he assume that because they made love, all was resolved? She didn’t want him to go, but his temper got the better of him, as usual, and he stormed out without giving her a chance to explain herself.

It had all happened so quickly, her thoughts had been too muddled to speak her thoughts at the time and Thorin had jumped to his conclusions. Damn that dwarf!

And then she remembered the absolute anguish in his voice and words. Her doubts had hurt him tremendously and her heart ached for his pain. What if he did leave? What would she do? Could she just let him leave like that? It was agony to think of never seeing him again.

As the day turned to night, Bella sat in the darkness, ignoring all the knocks that were heard at her door. She couldn’t speak to, let alone see, anyone right now.

“Bella? If you’re there, please let us in?” came Kili’s muffled cry as he banged on the door.

“Please Bella?” Fili joined in. “Whatever happened can be fixed. Don’t let uncle leave like this.”

Bella, tears streaming down her face, ignored their pleas. Their knocking continued for nearly an hour before they gave up in defeat.

After that, she heard Primula begging her to speak to her and then later, even Dwalin knocked on her door but he had as little success as the others.

As the night wore on, Bella didn’t move, not even to eat, all appetite gone, until in the early hours of the morning, she fell into an uneasy asleep in her chair.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It was early morning when Bella stirred. Opening her swollen eyes, she was puzzled at why she was in her sitting room and not her bed before the realisation struck her and she gasped sharply.

Pushing herself up, she groaned as every bone seemed to ache from the uncomfortable way she had slept as well as the night with Thorin taking its toll on her muscles.

Bella felt old and withered. Lifeless.

Forcing herself, she washed and threw something together to eat, uncaring of what it actually was as it would all be tasteless anyway.

Walking past her room, she couldn’t face going in there, knowing her sheets were rumpled and marked from their passionate night. At this point, she didn’t know if she could ever sleep in there again. Not without Thorin.

All her thinking had not given her a resolution yet and it angered her. She had never been so indecisive before. Or such a coward.

It was mid-morning when the knock sounded on her door. Bella’s heart leapt at the possibility of it being Thorin. He would have calmed down by now, she reasoned. Surely.

Opening the door, she couldn’t help her disappointment at seeing Fili, Kili and Ori, their faces grim.

She also noted that they wore their travelling clothes and her heart began pounding.

They weren’t leaving. No, Thorin didn’t mean it. He was just angry and disappointed. Maybe they were travelling to another village for the day, for whatever reason. Yes, that must it.

Stepping back, she beckoned the trio inside, leaving the door open, just in case Thorin came.

“Would you like something to eat?” she started nervously, her voice rusty from disuse and tears.

“No. We have come to say goodbye,” replied Kili hoarsely, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

Bella’s hand clutched at her heart. “What?”

“We are returning to Erebor,” confirmed Fili sadly. “Uncle has decreed it.” There was stunned silence after that.

“What happened?” burst out Kili. “You were happy, so was uncle. Why is this happening? You belong together. You are his One!”

She couldn’t reply. Through the night, during the pendulum swings of her emotions, she had not truly believed he was leaving. It had been said in anger, that’s all.

“We have just set out, but we had to see you first,” said Fili. “Bofur’s staying though. He’ll keep an eye on you.”

Bella heard the words but was too stunned to comprehend them so she just nodded. Thorin was leaving. He had given up. He had given up on her.

Dwalin and Bifur walked in the door just then. “Lads, we must leave. Thorin has gone on ahead so we’ll catch him up,” said Dwalin, unnaturally subdued. Turning to Bella, he took her hand and kissed it. “Farewell, Bella. I…wish…” his voice trailed off and with a bow, left Bag End. Bifur said something and hugged her, his own eyes shiny, as he left also.

Fili and Kili engulfed her in a teary hug, which she returned, though she felt numb.

“I’ll miss you,” cried Kili. “Can we visit you, sometime?”

Bella nodded and gave him a semblance of a smile, which probably looked more like a grimace. “Any time.”

Ori stepped forward, his cheeks marked with tears. He held out his book to her. “To remember us by,” he whispered. Leaning forward, he pressed the book into her hand and kissed her cheek.

Bella couldn’t speak. She just clutched the book to herself as she watched her dwarves leave.

It was happening. Thorin was going and it was the end.

Shakily she walked back to the sitting room, clinging to Ori’s book like a lifeline. She felt like she was encased in ice and that she would never be warm again. How could he leave?

Becoming aware of the book again, she opened it with trembling fingers and gasped at the first page.

There, sitting on his throne which showed the damage done by the dragon, sat Thorin. He was looking at something unknown but it was the look in his eyes which struck her. They were so desolate, like the ground that surrounded the mountain. There was no joy or any other emotion. They were empty. By all rights, he should have been happy to be back where he belonged, but it was not so.

And Bella knew instinctively why that was. She was not there.

It hurt to see Thorin like that so she turned the pages. They were of other every day events but the look in Thorin’s eyes was the same. Empty.

Then came pictures of the journey to Hobbiton and Bella could see a spark of hope in his eyes. There was one particular picture of Thorin sitting with his back against a tree, looking at something in his hand, a tiny, wistful smile on his face. His eyes, though, showed a mix of love, longing and hope. Though it wasn’t visible, Bella knew he was looking at her bead.

There were numerous pictures set in Hobbiton and one of Thorin at the forge, as she had seen him that time, made her pulse race. As her eyes traced over his shape, the familiar longing for him rose within her. He was the most beautiful being in Middle Earth, as far as she was concerned. Not even the elves, with their ethereal beauty, could rival Thorin.

It was the pictures Ori had drawn of she and Thorin together which seemed to melt the ice around her heart. They of were of the two of them at the markets, sitting around her table, strolling throughout the village, sharing a meal, amongst others. The common thread running through all of them was the look in Thorin’s eyes.

There was such love, adoration and gentleness in them that it fairly jumped from the page. Ori’s skill had captured the various nuances on Thorin’s face as he looked at her and it nearly took her breath away.

The evidence of Thorin’s love was as plain as day.

Had she been cruel, as he had claimed? Had some part of her wanted to punish him?

Lowering the book, she laid her head back against the chair and closed her eyes. It was past time to truly examine her own motivations and actions.

Yes, he had hurt her, badly. Thorin had never tried to deny it or give excuses for it. He claimed full responsibility for what he had done and had been trying to earn her forgiveness and trust since they met again. Every deed had been an apology to her, as well as the spoken words that had been uttered with such sincerity and meant such a great deal to her.

He had acceded to all her wishes, had not crossed any of her personal boundaries without her permission, however hard it may have been for him. She had wanted time and he gave her that. Time to trust him again.

And he had worked _so hard_ to earn that trust, even to the point of cutting his beard short and offering to give up his kingdom. For her. He had also worked on controlling his temper – he hadn’t lost it yesterday, despite his pain.

Looking deeply into her own heart, she had to admit that a part of her wanted him to suffer. Subconsciously, she was making him pay for what he did. Yes, she was fearful of being hurt again but he had done everything he could to reassure her that it would not happen again.

She, too, bore some responsibility for that day, yet she had never apologised to him. Not really. She had hurt him with her actions, whether they were right or wrong. Yet, he didn’t hold it against her, too mired in his own guilt.

Bella knew, _she knew_ , that what Thorin did that day was an aberration. She knew the gold sickness had a hold on him then and that he would never have done it otherwise. Violence towards females was just not in his nature; not in dwarven nature. He physically hurting her again out of aggression was as unlikely as Thorin suddenly wanting to live in the forest like Thranduil.

Was the gold sickness returning a real threat? Thorin had told her what he did with the Arkenstone and how he felt about the gold now and his nephews had confirmed it. She had even been angry about it when they had told her. And yet, in order to ease her fears, Thorin was prepared to remain in the Shire, where there would be no chance of falling into temptation.

There was no more that Thorin could do to try to ease her doubts and seek redemption. She knew this was why he reacted the way he had yesterday. He believed her acceptance of his body was also her acceptance of all of him.

There came a point where she needed to have faith – in him, in them.

Bella looked around her empty home. It reminded her of what her life had been like before Thorin had entered it and changed it forever.

Is this what she wanted for the rest of her days? To be alone? To never feel his arms around her again? To never more bask in the warmth of the love he bore her?

Did he deserve to be punished forever for his mistake, grievous though it was? When he had shown his sincere and utter remorse? Didn’t he deserve another chance?

Bella knew she had to make a decision.

She could choose to hold his mistake against him for the rest of her life, punishing both of them, always fearful of being hurt again, despite evidence to the contrary. She could hide away from the world, return to her staid, somewhat boring life, without ever again knowing the wonder of the love that existed between them. A love that was as real as the Arkenstone.

Or she could be brave and choose to trust him. To take a leap of faith. To trust that her faith in him won’t be misplaced. To trust that they could truly move on from that horrendous day, free of anger and bitterness. To forgive, truly forgive, each other’s mistakes and accept that neither of them are perfect, but that they always wanted the best for each other. To start their lives now, knowing that their true home was with each other.

To be happy.

Didn’t they both deserve that?

The realisation that, _yes_ , they did deserve their happiness, made Bella shoot up from her chair as if a bolt of lightning had struck her, Ori’s book falling to the floor in her haste.

How long had it been since they left? Bella judged that it could not have been more than an hour, at most. They wouldn’t have gotten very far, even on their ponies. She could catch up to them.

She had nearly stepped out her front door when she stopped and ran back into her room, grabbing the two items Thorin had left on her dresser. Items which she hadn’t been able bring herself to look at yet.

Shoving them into her pocket, she barely stopped long enough to shut the door, and raced down the hill, her hair flying behind her. It was so reminiscent of the day she had stepped out her front door and changed her life, that she couldn’t help but grin.

“Where’re ya goin’ Miss Bella?” called out Hamfast Gamgee as she raced past his house.

“I’m going on my greatest adventure!” she yelled back, not stopping to answer him.

She had a dwarf to catch.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

There had been utter silence since leaving Hobbiton.

An occasional sniff was heard from Ori, as he tried to hold back his tears. Fili and Kili’s faces reflected their despondency, heads lowered, trusting the ponies to follow each other. Dwalin and Bifur rode together, neither knowing what, if anything, to say.

Thorin rode at the front, his whole countenance telling of his misery. Each step his pony took made him more miserable as they took him further away from his heart. Each step made the pain greater.

Was he doing the right thing? Had he over-reacted?

His mind told him that it was over, he could do no more but his wounded heart urged him to turn around and accept whatever Bella was willing to give him.

It was only what was left of his pride that allowed him to continue onwards. It was all he had left. His pride had carried him through all those years of exile – it would need to see him through the rest of his lonely, miserable life.

It had been difficult to say goodbye to Bofur and Poppy. One had been a loyal friend while Poppy reminded him a little of his sister. Poppy had cried when she arrived this morning and hugged him tightly. She had tried to convince Thorin to change his mind and not give up, but he just shook his head as he mounted his pony. Bofur promised to look out for Bella and he nodded in gratitude. He sincerely wished the couple all the best, doing his best to push away the jealousy he felt at their happiness.

On the way out of Hobbiton, he had stopped to say farewell to Primula and Drogo. Primula had tried to speak to Bella, after Kili had begged her assistance, but she had been unable to get Bella to speak to her either.

Thorin reflected on the friendships he had made here and promised to write to Primula, even just so that he could ensure Bella was safe and maybe hear a little of her life, despite the knowledge that it would be like another knife wound. He didn’t know if he would ever be able to bear it if she found another to love, though.

Primula had waved sadly as his Company left, shaking her head as the tears rolled down her cheeks at the sheer tragedy of it all. If anyone belonged together, it was Thorin and Bella.

Now he faced nothing but wretched months on the road, not even the prospect of going home and seeing his sister and the work that had been done in his absence giving him any sense of eagerness.

His heart was lost and he felt an even greater sense of homelessness than he had in all his years of exile.

Silently, the ponies meandered through the woods and fields of the Shire, heading east, the village of Hobbiton far behind them.

Mired in the gloom of his thoughts, Thorin didn’t hear it at first.

“Wait!”

Dwalin was the first to notice the sound, lifting his head, straining to work out what it was.

“Stop! Wait! Thorin!” His head snapped around, peering back down the trail and through the trees. That sounded an awful lot like…

“Thorin! Stop! It’s me! Bella!”

By now all of the dwarves, except Thorin, had turned around to spy the little hobbit running towards them, hair askew and flying behind her as she raced to catch up to them.

Kili’s face broke out into a huge grin. “Bella! Uncle! Look – it’s Bella!” he called out as he turned his pony and trotted back the way he came.

The mention of his beloved’s name broke through Thorin’s cheerless thoughts, and he lifted his head in puzzlement. What?

“Will you stop!” Her shout contained a mix of breathlessness and irritation. “Whatever…happened to…dwarven… hearing?” she panted as she drew closer to them.

Unable to quite believe what his eyes and ears were telling him, he turned his pony around and he couldn’t help the jolt of his heart at the sight of his One.

Bella finally reached them, bending over and placing her hands on her knees as she tried to get her breath back and it reminded him of the last time she ran after them. Except she was wearing a dress, not coat and trousers, and was not carrying a dwarven contract. Nevertheless, the memory brought a tiny smile to his face.

Taking in a deep gulp of air, Bella straightened, her eyes seeking Thorin’s. Her face was red and shiny with sweat from her exertions, her bosom rising and falling rapidly. Flashes of their night together invaded his mind and he had to force them away.

“Thorin?” She was looking up at him, a myriad of emotions in her eyes that he couldn’t quite decipher. “Could…could I…talk to…you?”

He wanted to refuse her request, wary of enduring more pain, but the plaintive look in her eyes was too compelling. Despite everything, he could not deny her anything. With a short nod, he dismounted and stepped in front of her but didn’t speak. The others were still on their ponies, looks ranging from hope to bewilderment reflected on their faces.

Bella looked at him nervously, her mouth opening and closing as if she were having trouble getting words out, her hands gripping each other. Thorin raised one eyebrow in enquiry, unwilling to help her out, even though he was shaking a little. He was attempting to quash the tiny spark of hope that was rising within him.

Then her face changed, as if she had made a decision and in the next instant, she launched herself forward, clutched the lapels of his coat and pulled him towards her. Though much stronger than her, the unexpectedness of her attack meant he bent forward and she pressed her lips to his fiercely. By the time his stunned mind recovered enough to respond, she had let him go though she kept his hand in hers.

“I love you,” she said hoarsely, her lips trembling. “I love you and I don’t want you to go. Not without me.”

Thorin looked at her, unable to say a thing. He was frozen by a mix of emotions – fear, hope, love.

“I thought that I could go on with my life without you. That I was able to withhold part of myself from you. That I was right to deny you my true forgiveness. That I was right to not trust you again.” Her voice was shaky and a tear fell down her cheek. “I have never been so wrong in my life.” She quoted the words he had spoken to her on the Carrock. The words that had freed him to love her as he should have from the beginning. The words that changed everything between them. “I love you so much. Please don’t go without me,” she whispered brokenly.

Thorin felt his own eyes mist and as she looked up him with her love shining from her teary ones, all efforts at remaining aloof crumbled like dirt. With a shuddering sigh, he pulled her into his arms, holding her as if he would never let her go again. Which he wouldn’t, not if he had his way.

With a cry of relief, Bella wrapped her arms around his waist and clung on tightly. He could feel her shudders as she wept from relief and happiness. He dropped his head to rest on top of hers, a single tear falling onto her hair. All the world fell away – there were only the two of them, entwined tightly together, their hearts beating fiercely with love for the other.

Neither of them heard Dwalin give the order to head back to Hobbiton or saw the delighted grins on all five faces.

After what seemed an age, Bella lifted her head and smiled shakily up at Thorin. One hand caressed his short bead as they gazed at each other as if trying read all the secrets of the world in each other’s eyes.

With a soft kiss, Bella stepped back a little, smiling at Thorin’s reluctance to loosen his hold. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a rather battered posy of flowers and held them up to him.

“Forget-me-nots,” she informed him. “They’re a little worse for wear, but I was in such a rush to catch you up, I had to shove them in my pocket. They represent undying hope as well as faithful and true love.” With a small nod, Thorin took the flowers. “And that is what I feel for you, Thorin.”

“They’re perfect,” replied Thorin huskily before looking solemnly at her. “Are you sure?”

This time, Bella knew exactly what he was asking. “You were right, Thorin. A part of me _did_ want to punish you, keep myself protected. I thought I had forgiven you, but I hadn’t, not truly. And that’s what true forgiveness is, isn’t it? To accept the apologies and remorse of the one who’s wronged you, and to move on from it, without bitterness. To accept that we are not perfect but hoping and trusting that we will grow and learn from our mistakes, so that we don’t make the same ones again. And I know that you have, Thorin. I just didn’t want to trust it. Trust you.”

Reaching up, she took his face in her hands, her thumbs softly stroking his beard. “If I was cruel, it was unconsciously done, but I know that I hurt you yesterday, so for that, I’m sorry. Also, I know you’ve forgiven me for my actions on that day, my betrayal of your trust, but I never really apologised for it. Not really. So Thorin, I ask your forgiveness for my actions on that fateful day, knowing that I hurt you, regardless of my motives. Can we put that whole day behind us? Not to forget about it, as we need to remember so that it doesn’t happen again, but to move forward from this day, trusting each other to always have each other’s best interests at heart. To face life’s challenges together and to know that our true home is in each other.”

Thorin’s eyes shimmered with tears as she spoke, a couple falling down and wetting her fingertips. Bella lovingly wiped them away, her own tears ignored. Cradling her face, the flowers tickling her cheek, Thorin kissed her delicately, adoringly, as if she were the single most precious thing in the whole world, their tears mingling as they revelled in each other.

Letting go of her lips, Thorin rested his forehead on hers, his incredible blue eyes looking deep into hers. “There is nothing to forgive, but, I know how it feels to have the one you love’s forgiveness so I gladly give you mine. You have my forgiveness, my trust, my loyalty but most of all, my love. My heart, body and soul are yours to keep.”

“As mine are yours,” she whispered.

“And I solemnly promise that I will cherish, honour and protect your gift with all I have and all I am, until the end of our days, and beyond. Every day, I will endeavour to prove to you that you were right to place your trust in me. And I give you permission to slap me around the head if ever I look like slipping,” he added with a smile. “Or if I get too cantankerous.”

“So, every day then?” she teased.

Thorin threw his head back and laughed from pure joy, before lifting her up and twirling them around, their happiness almost a physical thing. Putting her down, he kissed her deeply. He felt lighter, freer, than he’d ever felt in his life. All because of her love.

He could feel her rummaging around in her pocket and lifted his head, looking at her bemusedly. With a triumphant smile, she stepped back, holding out her hand so he could see what she held.

In her palm lay the key and his silver bead. Two items he never thought he’d see again, not one hour ago.

Bella picked up the key and held it out. “I wish for you to make me a chain so that I may wear this everyday. It has so much meaning for us and I want it close to me always.”

“I will make you a chain of the finest material I can find,” he vowed, beyond pleased by her words.

“And this,” she continued, holding the silver bead. “Thorin, will you marry me and put it back in my hair … where it belongs?”

Unable to help himself, he swooped down and took her lips in a fierce, hungry kiss, wanting to impart how much her words meant to him. When he finally pulled away, he smiled and took the bead from her hand.

“Yes, Bella. I would marry you this instant, if I could. In my mind, and heart, you are already my beloved wife and would have continued to be, even if you had not followed me. I will braid you hair now, but I will re-do it properly later.”

Bella sighed happily as he quickly braided her hair near her temple, securing it with the bead. She felt like a part of her that was missing had been returned. She had sorely grieved the loss of the bead, a symbol of their love.

Finishing, Thorin ran his hand adoringly over her hair. “I love your hair,” he murmured. “I love all of you.”

“And I love you. Every part of you,” she sighed, snuggling back in his arms.

Neither spoke for a while, content to just be together. Eventually, Bella lifted her head. “Will you come back and stay with me? At Bag End?”

“Of course. I couldn’t be away from you now.” He looked down at her, the question in his eyes. “Is this what you desire? To live in the Shire?”

“To be honest, I haven’t been able to decide what I want in regards to that. I know it’s a big decision and I think we should make it together. Don’t you?” she asked sincerely.

“I will go where you go,” he replied honestly, stroking her hair. “But thank you for including me in the decision. Together, we will make the best one for us.”

“Then let’s go home,” she suggested. “Wherever that may be.”

Placing her in front of him and holding her tight, Thorin guided his pony back towards Hobbiton, knowing he was already home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that put a smile on your faces, after the trauma of the last one, lol.
> 
> Thanks for all the follows, comments and kudos. They're much appreciated.


	31. Chapter 31

The westering sun was slowly setting over the green hills of the Shire, bathing Bella’s bedroom and the entwined, naked bodies on her bed in a soft, golden glow.

Bella’s head rested in the curve of Thorin’s shoulder, her leg thrown over his, as she lazily played with the whorls of hair on his chest, both of them sated and exhausted after the last twenty-four hours.

His heart and soul replete with love, Thorin tenderly nuzzled her hair, a gentle smile on his face as he absent-mindedly stroked her soft skin. If this moment was to be his last, then he would happily go to the Halls of Waiting knowing he had spent it with his beloved, secure in her love for him.

After arriving back at Bag End, they spotted the note left under the door. Ori had written that the dwarves would return to the forge and keep Bofur company. Thorin had grinned at the unexpected tactfulness of his company. There would be time enough later to work out their living arrangements. For now, he could only think of Bella.

Wordlessly, their feelings expressed most eloquently in their eyes, Bella led him to her bedroom, where they stripped each other of the trappings they wore for the world in general, leaving them bare and vulnerable, with nothing to hide behind.

They needed to cleanse themselves of the hurt and pain of the last day, and affirm their love, devotion and commitment to the other, holding nothing of themselves back. As he joined their bodies, they whispered of their eternal love. Each movement, each kiss and caress, was a vow as sacred as any made by any of the valar, and just as enduring in their hearts.

Their simultaneous release shook Thorin to his very core, and as their eyes communicated their shared wonder, he knew that Mahal and his wife, Yavanna, had blessed their union.

Such intensity of feeling inevitably took its toll, and they both fell asleep, still joined. An hour later they awoke, somewhat refreshed, and with the lingering feelings of their previous love-making in the air, they turned to each other, needing to feel that closeness and intimacy again.

“I suppose I should get up and prepare something for our dinner,” suggested Bella lazily.

“Are you not tired?” he replied, his voice rumbling through his body, delighting her.

“Yes, but I’m more hungry at the moment. I haven’t eaten much since…” she replied, her voice trailing off.

Giving her a gentle squeeze, Thorin kissed the top of her head in acknowledgement of the painful memory. “Me either, my heart.” He sighed deeply, the movement making her head bop up and down. “I’m sorry for leaving like that. I didn’t give you a chance to explain your thoughts…”

“No, Thorin,” she protested, looking up at him. “I’m the one at fault. My actions led you to believe that I knew what I wanted, when in reality, I didn’t.”

“Hush, my heart. My abominable temper got the better of me once again,” he protested. “I could not think beyond my own hurt even though I had sworn not to give up on you. Instead, I chose to run away.”

Leaning up on one elbow, she lovingly traced the contours of his cheek and beard. “And it was a good thing. It was!” she insisted at his dubious look. “The realisation that you were leaving me, probably forever, made me really look at my own feelings and motivations. It made me see how I had been punishing you, despite your sincere remorse and that if I didn’t stop, I would lose the most important thing in my life. Your love.”

“You would never have lost my love,” he contradicted her. “It is as enduring and solid as the rock that makes up my mountain.”

Bella smiled. “But I would not have you in my life. And I desperately need and want you in my life. I cannot be truly happy without you.”

“Despite all my numerous faults?” he grinned, a little shyly.

“Because of your faults, my silly dwarf,” she replied, kissing him softly. “And because you love me, despite my own.”

“You have no faults. You are perfect,” he declared in his most kingly voice.

“Spoken like a true dwarf in love,” she giggled, loving the delight on his face, his eyes shining with joy. It seemed like decades had dropped from his face in the last few hours, making him even more impossibly handsome in her eyes.

Cuddling her close, he kissed the tip of her nose affectionately. “It is true. I am a king and I will not be gainsaid on this point. I declare Bella Baggins, my future wife, keeper of my heart, my One, and hopefully, mother of my children, to be perfect in all ways!”

Still laughing, Bella got out of bed and wrapped herself in her robe, intending to start cooking. Now that the heartache was gone, and after their love making, she found herself famished, suspecting Thorin was also.

Thorin pulled on his breeches before taking her in his arms. “Before you go, may I re-do your braid properly?”

Bella nodded and sat down on the bed as Thorin grabbed her brush before taking out the messy braid he had put in earlier. Smiling with an inner contentment, Thorin leisurely brushed out her hair, his rhythmic stokes relaxing her, to the point of sleepiness.

“Should the others move into Bag End, do you think?” she asked, attempting to ward off sleep.

“Is that what you want?”

“I want them to be comfortable and I do have the room. What do _you_ want?”

Thorin stopped brushing for a moment. “Honestly, I would prefer to have our privacy. Bag End is spacious but with all of us living here, it would get crowded. We have made the forge quite comfortable in these last months. Besides, it will only be for a short while.”

Turning at his words, Bella looked at him curiously. “Why is that?”

“I know we haven’t decided where we will make our lives together, yet, and tonight is not the night to make that decision, but it will have to be made soon. And if we stay here, I will need to return to Erebor in order to officially abdicate. The lads, and the others, will need to return home, one way or the other, so their lodgings here are only for a short duration. Of course, I would have you travel with us as I would like you to see Erebor now. Besides, I could not bear to be apart from you for so long.”

“Yes, you are right, Thorin. We will need to decide soon.” She looked up at him. “And you will be content with whatever we decide?”

He nodded. “Where ever you are, is where I want to be,” he stated, pecking her lightly on the lips.

“They won’t be upset that they are to stay at the forge?”

“It will be fine, my heart. I would spare their blushes anyhow,” he teased, chuckling at her puzzled look. “You can get quite loud, my love,” he whispered throatily.

Bella blushed bright red as she playfully swatted him on the arm. “Horrible dwarf,” she mumbled as he turned her around to finish her braid, still laughing.

While she prepared dinner, Thorin returned to the forge with an invitation to dinner at Bag End. Bella wanted to share her happiness with those she loved tonight.

Tomorrow, they would begin the serious business of deciding to where to make their permanent home.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dinner with all the dwarves was the uproarious affair it usually was. Even Thorin was in too good a mood to get angry at the many teasing remarks thrown his way. Bella knew how happy they were to see their friend and king get his heart’s desire.

When they arrived at Bag End, Bella had just finished setting the table and was engulfed in Fili and Kili’s hug. She could feel her feet start to leave the floor when Thorin’s voice growled to his nephews to let her go, much to her relief.

Still worried that the dwarves would be put out at not staying in Bag End, she had approached Dwalin to ask him if he was truly alright with it.

“Don’t you worry your pretty head with it, Bella,” chuckled Dwalin. “We’re right as rain at the forge. Besides, I like my sleep.”

“Huh?”

“Can’t think of anything worse than listening to that old coot moaning and groaning every night,” he declared, pointing unabashedly at a steely-eyed Thorin.

“Dwalin!” snarled Thorin in warning.

A hearty laugh was all the response he received as a beet-red Bella left to place the food on the table, murmuring, “You should be so lucky,” which garnered yet another burst of laughter from the burly dwarf.

The teasing continued throughout dinner. Thorin and Bella looked at each other, mentally shrugging their shoulders and bearing the brunt of it happily. Several times, their gazes would meet and the others would fade away as they got lost in each other’s loving stare.

“Oi! You’re a fine one to talk, Bofur. I’ve seen you go all cow-eyed when with your Poppy. Good thing you’re getting married soon, or her father would be coming after you with his shovel!” exclaimed Dwalin, drawing Bella from her daydream of Thorin.

“Yes, I do believe you’re counting the minutes to your wedding night,” added Thorin, glad to get the focus off him for a moment. “Poor girl.”

Bella looked around the table before settling her gaze on Bofur. “What? Married?”

“Aye. Bofur finally grew some balls and asked Poppy to marry him,” explained Dwalin, earning himself another laugh from the others.

“When did this happen?” asked Bella. “When I saw you at the party you were sulking that you couldn’t find her.”

“Well, you’ve been somewhat…pre-occupied,” replied Bofur with a cheeky grin. “We declared ourselves at the party, I asked her to marry me, I got permission from her father…and here we are!”

“That party was quite the occasion,” murmured Thorin, glancing at his hobbit, a tiny smirk on his face.

Bella jumped up and ran around the table, engulfing Bofur in a huge hug. “Congratulations! Oh, I’m so happy for you. Poppy’s been mooning over you for ages. When’s the wedding? Have you set a date yet?”

Bofur accepted her good wishes with his own hug. “Aye, we’ll be married in a month’s time.”

“A month! Goodness, I’ll have to speak to Poppy to see if she would like help with the preparations. And after? Where are you to live?”

“Here in Hobbiton. As you know, I’ve spent most of my life on the road, not within mountains, so living here will be no great hardship. I will take her to see Erebor, though.”

The others quickly lost interest in the planned nuptials, but Bella spent the rest of the dinner questioning Bofur over the events of his courtship of Poppy, if it could be called that.

Afterwards, they all sat in her parlour, Bella firmly settled on Thorin’s lap, despite her initial protests, as they sang and told tales well into the night.

Settling into bed after they all left, Thorin gathered her close, kissing her eyelids shut as he urged her to sleep, assuring her in his deep voice that he would keep her safe always and that this was the first night of the rest of their lives together.

Exhausted, Bella kissed him softly. “I love you.”

“And I you. Sleep, my love. I’ll be here when you wake.”

That night, Bella slept better than she could ever remember before.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The first few days after their reunion, Thorin rarely left Bella’s side. They spent a fair portion of it in bed, when they weren’t entertaining visitors, mainly the dwarves as well as Primula and Poppy, who were both beyond delighted to see the two of them so happy together.

Eventually, though, Bella had to shoo him back to the forge, stating that with Poppy and Bofur’s wedding so soon, she was needed to help with the preparations and she couldn’t do that with him underfoot, particularly when the females got together to complete Poppy’s glory box. It involved a lot of sewing, giggling and telling naughty jokes at the betrothed couple’s expense. Males were definitely not allowed, despite Thorin’s pout.

“Stop sulking and go and make something,” Bella insisted, straightening up his tunic at the door, whilst trying to avoid his hands.

“Wouldn’t you prefer to spend the day in bed?” he asked, as he grabbed her waist and pulled her flush against him, trying to tempt her.

It took all her willpower to resist those eyes and his sensuous voice, her body wanting to betray her. “We’ve spent most the last four days in bed, Thorin,” she pointed out huskily as he suckled on her neck.

“Let’s spend the next four days in there as well.”

Only the knowledge that Poppy was expecting her gave her the strength to push him back. “Much as that sounds wonderful, I promised Poppy I would be there for the sewing bee. It’s a tradition for all a bride’s female friends and family to get together and complete her glory box. I can’t let her down.” At the adorable pout on his face when he realised he wouldn’t get his way, Bella pecked him on the lips. “I’ll make it up to you tonight, I promise.”

Somewhat mollified, Thorin left for the forge, his mind filled with the ways Bella would keep her promise that night.

As expected, the day was spent in much laughter as they embroidered linen, completed Poppy’s wedding night attire amid much advice, wanted and unwanted, and made plans for the dividing of the food preparation.

While sewing, Bella’s mind drifted off to her and Thorin’s wedding. With their final home undecided, they had not made any plans as yet. If they returned to Erebor, Bella expected that his people would want to see their king wed his queen even though the thought of it made her knees tremble. Not at marrying Thorin; but at being the focus of all eyes, not knowing if they really approved of him marrying a hobbit instead of a dwarrowdam.

If they decided to stay in the Shire, then they would have to go through all the preparations that Poppy was undergoing now and the event would be almost as big as in Erebor, if a little less formal, what with all her extended family. They would also have to wait until the rest of the Company and Thorin’s sister travelled to the Shire, as she knew Thorin would want them there to share in their happiness. It would probably be months, or even over a year, before they could marry as it would have to be held after they returned from Erebor for his abdication.

The thought of waiting so long to be married to her beloved was depressing. Although they were effectively living as a married couple, it wasn’t the formal bond that both wanted. And while no-one would dare saying anything to them and suffer Thorin’s wrath, there would inevitably be talk about their living arrangements.

Bella realised that until they made a decision, their lives would be a kind of limbo and determined then and there that she and Thorin would not put it off any longer.

That evening, just before they drifted off to sleep after a couple of hours of quite vigorous love-making, Bella asked Thorin if they could spend the day by the river where they had their picnic. At the unspoken question in his eyes, she explained what she planned.

“Yes, my heart. I, too, believe we need know where our future lies,” he agreed.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

After breakfasting and preparing a basket of food, the two of them strolled hand in hand to their picnic spot.

With his back leaning against a tree, Thorin held Bella close as they began their discussion.

“I would have complete honesty between us,” he said. “We will debate the merits of each choice but I want to know how you truly feel, not what you think I want to hear. And I will do the same. I would not want our lives together to be tainted by the thought that one of us regretted our decision because we were not honest enough with each other. And if our choices are not the same, then we will go through all the factors to reach a consensus. Just remember; where ever we live, we will be together.”

“And that’s all that matters in the end,” agreed Bella, reaching up and kissing him softly.

The next couple of hours were spent talking, interspersed with eating and lots of kissing.

Thorin spoke of his divided emotions. How, on one hand, he longed to return to his mountain but not to all the responsibility of his title, despite how selfish that sounded, and on the other, how much he loved their life in the Shire with its peace and tranquillity.

Bella spoke of her love of her home and how she would miss it, but also how the prospect of living with him in the mountain filled her with both anticipation and trepidation. She told him of her worries of how she would adjust to living underground for much of the time and Thorin assured her that her would always help with ways to make it easier for her.

Finally, she posed the question of what Thorin really wanted if there was no other consideration to take into account other than his own wishes.

Thorin sat in thought for a few moments before turning his earnest gaze on her. “If I were to be entirely selfish, giving no thought to anyone other than myself, I would have to say that I would wish to return to Erebor.” When she didn’t say anything other than to give him an encouraging smile, he continued. “As much as I love it here and feel that I could be happy living out my days in Hobbiton with you, there is a large part of me than yearns to return to my home, to my people and be the king that I was born to be. For so long, my only desire was to return to the mountain and reclaim our rightful home. It consumed me. It made me the person I am. I know that I would once again be burdened by the demands of being king but it would be different with you by my side. You would lighten that burden just by your presence in my life. To my people I would be ‘King’, but with you, I would simply be ‘Thorin’. You would be my refuge when the weight of my title got too much. I could cope with whatever life throws at me knowing that you are beside me and loving me.”

He looked at her a little nervously, worried that he might have upset her by his honesty.

Bella reached up and caressed his face, smiling to reassure him. “Then we will return to Erebor and I will proudly stand beside you as your Queen.”

“Bella…” he interrupted, a worried frown on his face. “Shh…” she soothed. “It’s my turn.” She could see he wanted to protest her decision, believing he had pushed her into it. “Since you offered to give up your throne to be with me, I have had a difficult time coming to terms with the enormity of your offer. It was part of the reason why I had such trouble forgiving you completely. To be responsible for such an immense decision weighed heavily on my shoulders. I would be the one to make you lose your home, again, and take you from your family and the dwarves that followed you back to your rightful home. I resented you at times for putting the burden of this decision on me.”

“That’s not what I wanted…”

“I know. I know you meant to show me how much you loved and valued me. And you did, truly, but it felt like the fate of a whole people rested upon my shoulders. It’s quite a lot for a little hobbit, you know.” She squeezed his hand to show him she was teasing. “I love my home, I do, but if I were to leave it, it would not cause much of a ripple in the lives of my fellow hobbits. I would be missed by my friends and extended family, but life would go on as usual. But you, my dear, are the rightful King of Erebor. For you to renounce your crown would be felt by all the dwarves of Erebor, especially your kin. It would mean Fili would need to assume the crown at too young an age. He could be vulnerable to those who would influence him to their own ends. I am so glad you told me what you honestly wanted, as I can now make the decision with peace in my heart that it is what is right for both of us.”

“Won’t you miss the Shire?”

“Of course I will, but who says that we can never return? There will be times when we will need to get away from our responsibilities and I can’t think of a better place to restore our peace and calm for a little while.”

Thorin pulled her even closer and kissed her tenderly. “I love you so,” he whispered as he held her. “Hobbiton will always hold a special place in my heart. It is where I met you, where I found you again and where we truly became one. Whenever you feel the need to return, you will let me know and I will do everything possible so that you get your wish. You are right, it will be our place to restore our energies and get away from the lives of being rulers.”

“You will help me adjust, won’t you?” she asked nervously.

“Of course, my heart. I will build you your own garden on the slopes of the mountain where you can escape to and plant whatever your heart desires. It will our haven. I already have a spot in mind, near the royal chambers, that will suit perfectly. We can even have part of it enclosed in glass so that you can be outside even when the elements aren’t co-operating.”

“That sounds lovely,” sighed Bella. “Would it be possible to have a small kitchen built nearby?”

“Erebor has kitchens, my love. Anything you desire can be made for you.”

“I know, but cooking and baking is something I enjoy. I love the thought of being able to make you a special treat to ease away the cares of the day. I know we’ll often eat with the others, but wouldn’t it be nice to be able to spend some evenings alone, just us, and our family, if we are lucky enough to have one? And you’ve become quite proficient at baking. It would be a shame to waste it.”

“It shall be done. I must admit, it will be nice to get away from everything,” he replied, kissing the top of her head. “I say that at least one evening each week will be set aside for just us and our family. If we wish to invite others to join us, then we can do so, but it will our time and not to be interrupted except for the direst emergency. I must admit to have developed a liking for baking. It can be quite relaxing.” With that, he looked sternly down at her. “Don’t you dare tell anyone that or I’ll deny it.”

Bella laughed and tweaked his nose. “My lips are sealed. Thank you, my dear. I believe I will be very happy living in the Lonely Mountain.”

“I hope so. I never want to think that you regret leaving the Shire. Don’t forget that when I left, the elves had been in the process of restoring the forests around the mountain. They were young saplings then, but by now it should be quite a healthy young forest. Hopefully, some of the wild life will be returning. There is no reason why we can’t spend time there. You may know of other beneficial plants that would grow well near the mountain. As long as you have myself, or a guard, with you, you can go where ever you wish.”

“Oh, I don’t need a guard with me, Thorin. I’ll be perfectly fine on my own,” protested Bella.

“Bella, you will the Queen of Erebor. The queen can not travel unescorted. Even I cannot go anywhere without guards. There is peace now, but there are always dangers and I would not risk your life for anything. It is a necessary evil, unfortunately.”

Bella sat silently, digesting this information. It only now struck her that her life would radically change, and not only by moving to a new home. Her carefree life, doing whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, would be gone. She would be royalty, a concept somewhat unknown to hobbits, and that meant doing what was best for the dwarves of Erebor and supporting the King.

“It won’t be as bad as you think, my heart. I promise you’ll get used to it. The guards are trained to be discreet and try to be as unobtrusive as possible. After a while, you’ll forget they are there but will be on hand in case they’re needed. I will never stop you doing what you wish, unless I feel that there is a real threat and I would always discuss it with you and let you know why, so that you don’t feel that I’m being heavy-handed.” When she didn’t say anything, he look down worriedly. “Do…do you wish to change your mind?”

Bella look up at him, honesty shining in her eyes. “No, Thorin. We’ve made the right decision. I just had not really taken into account what being your queen would entail. I hope I can be what you and your people need.”

Cupping her face, he smiled tenderly. “You, my love, will be the most wonderful queen Erebor could wish for. You have the warmth, graciousness and caring that will make you a most beloved queen. All the other things, you will learn in time. You will always have me, Balin or even my sister, to help you. You won’t be alone in this, I promise.”

“Will your sister like me, do you think?”

“How could she not love you? Her sons worship the ground you walk on, as do I, so it is only logical she’ll adore you too. Besides, she’ll be glad there’s someone else to put up with my bad moods now,” he joked.

“Not too many, I hope.”

“You know exactly how to coax me out of my moods, my love,” he growled seductively, kissing the corner of her mouth.

“We’re going to be needing those nights alone, I can see,” she replied a little breathlessly.

“Mmm, definitely,” he murmured as he moved to kiss her neck.

Before things got too carried away, she pushed him back slightly, ignoring his protest. “We haven’t finished yet,” she pointed out.

Letting out a huff of frustration, Thorin sat back against the tree trunk again and motioned for her to continue. “When do we leave for Erebor?”

Thorin mulled over the question for a moment before replying. “I have been away for over a year now. If we leave shortly after Bofur’s wedding, we should return to Erebor before the winter weather sets in. I would not want you travelling in the cold again, especially over the mountains.”

“I did it before and survived.”

“But you weren’t mine to protect then,” he retorted. “I will always do my best to protect you, be it from foes, or the elements.”

Feeling enveloped in his love and protection, Bella hugged him tightly. “I know you will and I love you for it.”

The next few moments were lost in each other’s arms until she pulled away. “Very well, I’ll prepare to leave after the wedding. Will I be able to take some of my things?”

“Of course. I will arrange to purchase some extra ponies to carry as much as possible. I would not have you part with things you treasure.”

“It will only be some of my favourite books as well as sentimental items from my parents. The furniture will stay here. I’ll only take as many clothes as I need for the journey.”

“I will ensure you are outfitted with anything you desire when we return home,” promised Thorin. “What will happen to Bag End? I don’t want that harpy to get her hands on it,” he growled.

Bella laughed. “No, I promise Lobelia Sackville-Baggins will not put a foot in my house. I will have to think on it, but one way or another, I will make sure it’s looked after.”

She looked at him seriously then. “Will we be married when we get to Erebor?”

“Yes. As soon as we return, we will set the wedding in motion. Unfortunately, it will have to be something of a grand affair. My people would expect it and a royal wedding would raise the kingdom’s spirits.”

“I know. It will be terrifying to be the focus of so many eyes, but we can’t deny them the pleasure of seeing their beloved king wed.”

“I’m sorry it will take so long.”

“It can’t be helped,” she shrugged. “I’m your wife in all ways except for the ceremony.”

“Yes, you are. You are the wife of my heart. Any ceremony will mainly be for the satisfaction of others. You and I, we are already bonded in the eyes of Mahal and Yavanna.”

Bella couldn’t agree more and reached up to whisper in his ear. “Let’s go home, my love. I feel a need to have a king in my bed.”

Thorin bounced up with alacrity, Bella laughing at the speed with which he packed up their picnic and raced them back to Bag End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in this chapter. Work's getting somewhat hectic for the next couple of months so the next one could be delayed as well, but be assured that I will finish this. There aren't too many chapters left after this.
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos. They're much appreciated.


	32. Chapter 32

The soft, late spring sunshine bathed the party tree and surrounding fields in a gentle warmth, with only light, wispy clouds to mar the brilliant blue of the sky. The breeze was only strong enough to ruffle skirts and make ribbons dance cheekily around their owners. The old-timers marveled that it was as fine a day for a wedding as they had ever seen and was an auspicious sign for the enduring happiness of the bride and groom.

Thorin and the other dwarves were making sure Bofur got ready in time whilst trying to stop his nerves getting the better of him. To see the normally unflappable dwarf running around the forge like a headless chook was very amusing for a while but then Thorin nodded to the lads to take Bofur in hand.

Grabbing an arm each, Fili and Kili forcibly sat Bofur down in the kitchen, Dwalin filling a cup with wine and making him drink it. Bofur gulped the wine down gratefully, closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before looking at his fellow dwarves.

“Thank you,” he said. “I think I needed that.”

“Are you better?” asked Thorin. “Why all the nerves? This is what you want, isn’t it?”

“Aye, of course it is!” insisted Bofur indignantly before seeming to deflate. “But what if it’s not what Poppy really wants? What if she feels she has to go through with it, what with all the preparations and guests? What if I can’t make her happy?” He buried his head in hands with a loud groan.

“Oh, stop being a complete orc’s arse!” retorted Dwalin, impatiently. “Of course she wants to marry you. Do you really think she wouldn’t hunt you down like a rabid warg if you weren’t waiting for her in front of all her friends and relatives, ready to marry her? I don’t think even Azog himself would have the balls to do that!” Kili burst out laughing, whilst the others attempted to control their amusement at Dwalin’s blunt statement. “Now, get your head out of your arse, get ready and go and marry that lass. Better you than me,” he muttered as an afterthought.

Bofur stared at Dwalin for a moment before bursting out in laughter. “Oh Mahal! You are right. I’m being a complete idiot.” Shaking his head, he stood up and squared his shoulders. “Alright lads, let’s finish getting ready. I’m getting myself a wife today!”

Now he stood in front of the celebrant, surrounded by flowers, waiting impatiently for his bride to make her appearance. Thorin, who was standing up with him, grinned to see his friend so dressed up. For once, Bofur wasn’t wearing his hat, Poppy having expressly forbidden him to wear it during the ceremony. Instead, his hair was neatly braided, as was his beard and he was wearing a dark maroon tunic over his black breeches. Thorin saw several female hobbits look at the groom with envious eyes, not that Bofur noticed. His whole focus was at the rear of the guests, where Poppy and her attendants would appear.

“By my beard, this waiting is torture!” exclaimed Bofur under his breath. “What’s keeping her?”

“Patience, my friend,” replied Thorin, soothingly. “She’ll be here presently.”

As he finished speaking, the musicians began playing and the guests all turned around excitedly, eager to catch a glimpse of the blushing bride.

From behind a screen of flowers, Bella appeared first, a dainty crown of baby pink rosebuds topping her loose flowing hair. She wore a traditional hobbit dress, decorated with ribbon and Thorin couldn’t believe the bride could be any more beautiful than his queen. She caught his eye, giving him a cheeky wink, before beaming at Bofur. Thorin chuckled under his breath at his love’s playfulness.

Bofur’s swift indrawn breath brought him out of his pre-occupation with Bella. Poppy finally appeared, resplendent in a dress lavishly embroidered with flowers and vines. It was in the hobbit style, but was mainly cream-coloured and a little longer than normal. She didn’t wear anything on her head but the look on her face was radiant. Thorin had to admit that Poppy was almost as beautiful as his Bella. 

Once Poppy reached the raised dias where the ceremony was being held, Bofur took both her hands in his, the emotion plainly visible on his face. Bella and Thorin looked at each other, thrilled to see the utter joy on their friends’ faces.

The celebrant commenced the ceremony, the bride and groom exchanging vows before placing crowns of flowers on each other’s head, in the hobbit tradition. At the end, their hands were bound with ribbon, signifying the bond they now shared and the celebrant declared them to be husband and wife.

With a loud whoop, Bofur gathered his bride in his arms and kissed her deeply before picking her up and spinning her around in his arms, much to the delight of the guests, a little less so to her father.

A somewhat flustered Poppy laughingly pushed the now-askew flower crown back on her head before embracing Bella and Thorin.

“Thank you for all your help preparing us for this day,” she whispered to Bella, before turning to Thorin and reaching up to kiss his cheek. “And thank you for making sure Bofur got here today.”

Thorin chuckled. “Believe me, once we took care of the nerves, nothing would have stopped him being here. The hardest part was hiding his hat!”

Poppy giggled as she shook her head. “You’ll have to give it back to him soon, I suppose. But if he thinks he’s wearing it to bed, well…”

With a grin, Thorin turned and held out his arm, Bella taking it and squeezing it lightly as she smiled up at him. 

“Hello, handsome.”

“You do know that no-one is supposed to outshine the bride on her wedding day?” he asked her with a mock frown. At her puzzled look, he kissed the tip of her nose. “I had trouble taking my eyes off you, when I should have been admiring Poppy’s wedding attire. You are too beautiful for your own good, my heart.”

“Charmer,” she replied, squeezing his arm tightly. 

“Just speaking the truth,” he insisted, as they walked out amongst the crowd congratulating the newly weds.  
As expected, the wedding party was an uproarious affair, especially when the groom pulled his laughing bride onto a table and proceeded to serenade her with a rather bawdy song which had the guests in stitches.

Bella rarely left Thorin’s side, his gentle touches and smiles filling her with a warmth that the sun would have difficulty rivaling. After dancing for a while, Thorin gave her a look, which Bella answered with a nod. Taking her hand, the couple wove their way through the wedding guests, looking for the bride and groom.

Bofur was pouring Poppy a drink as her head rested on his shoulder, the long day beginning to catch up with them. Thorin helped Bella into an empty seat at the table before sitting down.

“How have you been enjoying it?” asked Bofur cheerfully. “It definitely rivals some dwarven weddings we’ve been to.”

“Your wedding day will be long remembered, I don’t doubt,” replied Thorin with a grin. 

“Yes,” agreed Bella. “It’s been so much fun. I’m so happy for you two.”

“Bella and I wanted to speak with you before you left,” said Thorin, who took Bella’s hand in his. One of Poppy’s uncles had loaned them a small hobbit hole next to a lake, a little way out of Hobbiton, for the couple to spend the first few days of their honeymoon.

“We wanted to give you our wedding present,” agreed Bella with a nod. Thorin indicated for her to speak.

“You know, obviously, that Thorin and I are returning to Erebor in a week’s time.” At their nods, she continued. “Since we made that decision, we’ve been discussing what to do with Bag End. I don’t want it sitting empty as it will deteriorate and Thorin’s worried Lobelia may try to move back in, despite his warnings.” Thorin snorted at the thought. “Anyway, Bag End deserves to have a family living in it, caring for it, the way we have always done so.”

Bofur and Poppy were looking her wide-eyed as she spoke. “As my cousin, I asked Drogo if he would like to move in, but he insisted he and Primula are very happy in their own smial. After my cousins, the only couple I would really love to see living in and caring for Bag End, are you and Poppy.” 

Poppy gasped as she took Bofur’s hand. “Bella…” started Bofur.

Bella raised her free hand to stop him. “Bofur, you are as much my family as Drogo. I know that you planned to build Poppy a home when you returned, but Bag End is all ready for you. I would feel happier leaving it knowing that two people I love are living in it, caring for it and hopefully filling it up with their family. It was built for a large family, which has never eventuated, but now it can fulfill the purpose my father built it for.” Taking each of their hands in hers, Bella smiled. “Say you will accept our gift. It would make Thorin and I so pleased.”

“It would make my Bella very glad to know you are living in Bag End, and I want nothing more than to make Bella happy,” confirmed Thorin.

Tears of joy flooding her eyes, Poppy reached over and pulled Bella into a tight hug. “Thank you! Thank you for the most wonderful gift.” When she let go, Bofur replaced it and hugged Bella.

“Lass, you do us an honour,” he murmured, his voice visibly shaken. Letting go, he took Poppy’s hand in his.

Giving Bella and Thorin a watery smile, Poppy spoke for both her and Bofur. “We would be most proud to care for Bag End as you would wish. We promise that it will be loved as you have loved it and we will always remind our children of the great gift given to our family by the King and Queen of Erebor. Know also, that there will always be room in Bag End for you and your family, should you visit the Shire.”

“And there will always be room in Erebor for you and your family, for as long as the line of Durin continues,” declared Thorin.

Bofur and Poppy nodded solemnly at these words. No-one said anything for a few moments, the import of what was said taking a little bit to sink in.

The silence was broken by Bofur clearing his throat. “Poppy and I wanted to speak to you too.” Thorin nodded at him to continue. “Poppy would very much like to see Erebor for herself and we have decided to travel back with you when you leave next week.”

“Yes, it will be something of a honeymoon trip for us,” confirmed Poppy enthusiastically. 

“You are both most welcome, of course,” said Thorin. “But won’t you want some privacy? We will stay in inns as often as possible, but much of it will be camping out in the open.”

“Oh, we’ll manage, somehow,” laughed Poppy, giving her husband a cheeky grin.

“It will be lovely to have another female to talk to!” exclaimed Bella happily.

“Am I not enough?” teased Thorin.

“If Poppy’s not with us, I would have to bore you with talk of fabrics, hairstyles, women’s problems…”

Thorin raised his hands in mock horror. “Enough! Thank you, Poppy, for sparing me this ordeal.” 

“Anything for the King of Erebor,” replied Poppy with a giggle.

A few moments were spent confirming the arrangements for their departure, Bofur assuring them that he and Poppy were prepared for the journey, having been planning this for a few weeks between them. Poppy was almost jumping in excitement at the thought of travelling so far from home and seeing some of the world outside the Shire.

Not long after, the newlyweds left for their much anticipated wedding night, cheerfully accepting the ribald jokes as Bofur lifted his wife onto a pony before seating himself behind her. They moved off amidst a shower of flower petals that lined the path.  
Sighing happily, Bella rested against Thorin’s chest, his arms wrapped protectively around her as she felt exhaustion creeping over her. It been a joyous, albeit long, day.

“Happy, my heart?” murmured Thorin as he nuzzled the top of her hair, breathing in her scent.

“Mmm, very,” she replied sleepily. “I feel so relieved that Bag End will be filled with love. I shall ask Drogo and Primula to keep an eye on it until Bofur and Poppy return.”

“As do I,” replied Thorin. “I am very fond of it myself.” Letting her go before placing his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her close. “Let’s go home. My little hobbit is almost asleep on her feet.”

Bella was asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next few days were a flurry of preparations.

Thorin and Dwalin obtained ponies for the whole company, as well as a couple of spare ones to use as pack animals. Bella wasted no time giving them all names, much to the dwarves fond amusement.

Bella spent much of those days agonizing over what to take back to Erebor. Thorin encouraged her to take whatever she wanted, but Bella didn’t want to burden the ponies unnecessarily. 

When she was going through her books, Thorin told her of the library in Erebor that stocked thousands of books, in many different languages. Due to it’s distance from the treasury room, Smaug had not caused much damage to it, and most of the books had survived the dwarves’ long exile. Ori enthusiastically described the room and how much he was looking forward to exploring it’s tomes, now that much of the clean up was sure to have been completed.

Deciding to only take those books that had deep sentimental value, she packed the bags before sorting through her parents’ things. 

Her mother’s jewellery was to go with her. There was not much, as per hobbit custom, but there were a few items her father had given her mother on their betrothal and wedding. All paintings of her parents were safely wrapped and packed before deciding whether to take her mother’s favourite crockery set.

“Is this the infamous set that gave you the vapours, according to Kili?” asked Thorin, with a grin.

“Yes, that one,” replied Bella with a huff. “Those boys are lucky nothing broke!”

Thorin laughed and shook his head. “I wish I had not been late so I could have witnessed it.”

“Blame your sense of direction,” Bella retorted with a smirk.

“Careful, wife,” growled Thorin with a smirk before giving her a gentle slap on her bottom. “That’s no way to speak to a king.”

“Will a kiss make it all better?” she asked beguilingly.

Not much packing was done for another hour.

Amongst all the preparations and visits from villagers wishing to say goodbye, Bella noticed that Thorin began acting strangely.

It was nothing too obvious, but he left the smial at different times of the day and didn’t say where he was going. Bella assumed he was going to the forge, but Ori confirmed that Thorin had not been there since Bofur’s wedding.

She decided to shrug it off. Thorin was most likely working hard to make sure they had all the provisions they needed for the journey. 

Two days before they planned to leave, Primula came over to give Bella a hand with her packing. At one point, Bella went to her bedroom to get some clothes she intended to take and when she returned, she saw Thorin and Primula deep in discussion near the kitchen.

As she stepped near, the two jumped in surprise, both wearing strange expressions on their faces. Primula hastily made an excuse to leave but not before giving Thorin a wink that Bella caught the tail end of.

“What was that about?” asked Bella curiously.

“Ahh…nothing. She just wanted to ensure there was nothing more she could do to help,” replied Thorin unconvincingly. Bella decided to take his word for it, but it puzzled her.

The next morning, the day before leaving Hobbiton, Bella was woken by the smell of eggs and bacon cooking. Padding to the kitchen, she heard Thorin whistling as he brewed a pot of tea, his broad back to her.

Silently, as hobbits were known to be, she reached around him and hugged him close, almost making him drop the cup in surprise.

“Mahal!” he exclaimed. “I still haven’t gotten used to how quiet hobbits can be when they want.” Turning, he hugged her before kissing her deeply.

“Mmm,” she murmured when he pulled away. “You seem cheerful this morning.” 

“And why wouldn’t I be?” he asked with a grin. “It’s a beautiful day, preparations for our journey are going well and I have a gorgeous, half-dressed hobbit in my arms. A good morning, to be sure.”

As they ate, Thorin informed her that he was going down to the forge after lunch, to check that the company was ready to leave. He had a twinkle in his eye as he spoke that puzzled her.

Giving her a brief, but fierce, kiss before leaving, Thorin whistled as he walked down the hill. Bella was still mulling over his behavior when there was a knock on the door.

Expecting it to be another of her neighbours, she almost staggered back when she saw the tall figure who waited there.

“Gandalf!” 

“Bella, my dear!” laughed Gandalf as she flew at him, hugging him tightly.

Pulling back, Bella looked up at her dear friend’s face. “Gandalf, I had not thought to see you for a long time.”

“Yes, well, I found myself heading back in this direction and thought I would stop in to see how you are faring.” Looking her over, head tilted, Gandalf smiled benignly. “I can see that time has done you much good. You look positively glowing.”

When Bella thought back to her despondent self when she first came back, she imagined that Gandalf would be surprised to see her now.

“A lot has happened since I last saw you,” she replied with a grin.

Just as she was about to usher the wizard in, Primula came swiftly up the hill, carrying a large bag with her.

Panting a little as she reached the door, she looked up the wizard who towered over her. “Hello, Gandalf.”

Jaw dropping, Bella looked from one to the other as Gandalf greeted her cousin by name.

“When did you two meet? I wasn’t aware you knew each other,” remarked Bella.

Primula turned to greet Bella. “Oh, we only met yesterday.”

“Yesterday?” She craned her head to look Gandalf in the eyes. “You’ve been here since yesterday and you only came to see me today? What is happening?”

Everything was just coming too confusing. Thorin and Primula’s behaviour, Gandalf being in Hobbiton and not coming to see her. 

Primula placed her hand on Bella’s shoulder before confessing.

“Bella, today you are getting married.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Dazed, Bella sat quietly while Primula dressed her hair with buds, twittering away about how exciting all this was.

Everything was Thorin’s doing.

At Bofur’s wedding, he decided he didn’t want to wait months to marry his beloved hobbit. They could have another dwarven ceremony once they were back in Erebor, but he wanted Bella as his wife before they left Hobbiton.

Deciding to surprise her, he enlisted Primula’s help to prepare a simple ceremony, knowing that Bella would appreciate that more than a big party like Poppy’s.  
Primula threw herself into the preparations whole-heartedly. As there were only going to be the company as well as Drogo and herself as guests and witnesses, she had no trouble cooking enough food. 

With Thorin’s help, she snuck into Bag End and found Bella’s mother’s wedding dress. Though it had been stored for many years, it only took her a little effort to primp it back to it’s original glory. She and Bella used to talk about how Bella wanted to wear her mother’s dress if she ever married. She couldn’t wait to see Bella’s face when presented with it.

Thorin had not planned on Gandalf attending, but as was Gandalf’s way, he always seemed to be in the right place, at the right time. After Thorin got over the surprise of the wizard appearing unexpectedly, he spent the next hour telling Gandalf of all that had occurred, his plans to marry Bella and apologising for his behaviour the last time they met.

When he had asked if Gandalf would officiate their wedding, the wizard had agreed with alacrity. Nothing would please him more than to bind two people who loved each other so much.

“I can’t believe Thorin did all this,” said Bella, looking up at her cousin. “And you too, Prim. You’ve gone to so much trouble.”

Primula waved away her thanks. “I’ve loved it. A surprise wedding! How wonderful is that? Especially when it’s a surprise only to the bride,” she joked.

“So I’m the only one who was in the dark?”

“I don’t know how Thorin stopped the boys from blurting it out,” confirmed Primula with a laugh. “Probably threatened to cut something off if they said anything.”

Bella nodded in agreement. Her heart almost melted when she thought of her betrothed. To go to so much trouble, for her.

She had believed she had accepted the long wait to marry her dwarf, but knowing she was going to bind herself to him today only showed her how much she really wanted this.

That darling, darling dwarf!

“There! Perfect,” declared Primula as she finished with Bella’s hair. “Let’s get you dressed, then I’ll change and we’ll go get you married.”

The tears welled in Bella’s eyes as Primula held up the wedding dress. “Oh my!” she whispered. “It looks almost new.”

“You had stored it well, so there wasn’t much I had to do to it,” explained Primula. “Just touched up the ribbons and pressed it, really.”

When she was dressed, Bella looked at herself in her mirror and couldn’t help the tears of joy. Mama, I’m sure you never thought I’d wear your dress, did you? I hope I look as beautiful as you did the day you married Papa. I hope you are both happy for me for I couldn’t be happier to be marrying my beloved Thorin if I tried. 

“Ready, my dear?” called Gandalf from outside her door.  
Pulled from her thoughts of her parents, Bella took a deep breath and left the bedroom.

“You look lovely,” said Gandalf sincerely. “I hope Thorin appreciates what a lucky dwarf he is.”

“I know he does, Gandalf,” she assured him. “I don’t know how much he told you, but he’s worked so hard to make up for his mistakes. We both have. We know how blessed we are to have been given this second chance, and we aren’t going to waste it.”

Gandalf smiled and patted her hand. “I’m so very glad for you, my dear.”

“And I’m so pleased you’re here to see this day,” she told him earnestly.

Primula came out of the kitchen and handed Bella a posy of flowers of red roses and white carnations that Thorin had made for her. I love you and pure love. How appropriate. 

Taking a deep breath, Bella took Gandalf’s proffered arm and walked out towards her destiny.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Thorin couldn’t help the nerves that assailed him as he waited with the small number of guests. 

He had chosen their favourite picnic spot for the wedding. It held a special place in both their hearts and he couldn’t think of a more appropriate place to pledge his love for Bella.

Bella. 

How did she react when she found out what he’d done? What if she was so angry or shocked that she didn’t come? Should he have told her beforehand? Given her the choice whether she wanted a more elaborate wedding? Maybe she wanted all her extended family and friends to attend? What if she really wanted more time before they married? 

He could feel the sweat breaking out on his forehead and fiddled with his blue velvet tunic as he questioned whether he’d done the right thing. He didn’t notice when he began pacing until Dwalin grabbed his arm.

“Not you, too?” he grumbled. “Mahal preserve me from jittery grooms!”

Thorin looked up at his best friend, worry pouring from him. “Have I done the right thing, Dwalin? What if she doesn’t come? What if she thinks I didn’t give her a choice? What…”

A sharp shake of his shoulder broke off his ramblings. 

“Bella loves you and she will be here presently. You know her better than anyone so you know that she would have preferred a small, intimate ceremony rather than the huge affair that was Bofur’s wedding. Now, shut up and pull yourself together!”

Thorin looked at Dwalin for an instant before bursting out laughing. “What would I do without you, Dwalin?”

“Mahal knows, Thorin, but I’d hate to find out,” Dwalin quipped.

“I think she’s coming now, uncle,” warned Fili as he looked out between the trees to the track. “She’s all dressed up, so I think you can stop worrying.”

Thorin breathed a heavy sigh of relief. He looked around at the small gathering. It consisted of only the company, including Bofur and Poppy, who had returned a day early in order to be here, as well as Drogo. The people who were important to them.

Poppy had decorated the tree behind him with wildflowers and tied ribbons around the clearing. He couldn’t help notice that she and Bofur glowed, so obviously the marriage was off to a good start, he smirked to himself.

Closer to the river, the food Primula had prepared was set up on blankets on the grass. It was to be a wedding picnic. He owed Primula a great debt for all her help getting this ready.

He spotted Gandalf’s tall hat first and marveled at how the wizard always seemed to know where to be. He had planned to invite Gandalf to the wedding feast in Erebor, although Mahal knows how he was going to get the message to the wandering Istari. Then he turns up, just like that. As soon as he saw him, Thorin knew Gandalf was the best person to perform the binding ceremony.

As Gandalf was the closest thing to a father Bella had, he had formally promised Gandalf that he had learned from his mistakes and that he would devote his life to loving and caring for Bella and any family they may be lucky enough to have. Gandalf had simply nodded his head in acknowledgment of Thorin’s pledge.

And there she was!

When they reached the picnic spot, Fili and Kili rushed forward to walk Bella to her groom, as Gandalf made his way to where Thorin stood.

“You are a very lucky dwarf, Thorin Oakenshield,” declared Gandalf.

“Believe me, Gandalf, I know,” he breathed as he took in his bride.

Thorin had never seen her look so beautiful. Whether it was the flowers in her hair, her embroidered dress or the sheer joy on her face, she was incandescent.

As she walked towards him, everything and everyone seemed to fade away as they stared into each other’s eyes. They were the only two people in Middle Earth.

Everything they felt for each other was in that look: love, devotion, passion, friendship. They silently pledged their vows before she had even reached him and both knew their union was blessed by the Valar. How could anything that felt this pure and wonderful be anything else?

When Bella was close enough, Thorin stepped forward and took her hands, as she handed the posy to Primula. 

“Bella,” he whispered throatily. “Is this alright? Are you happy?”  
She nodded, her eyes welling with tears as she looked up at him. “It’s perfect, my love. I couldn’t have done better myself. Thank you,” she said sincerely.

Thorin gazed at her with a soft smile until Gandalf cleared his throat noisily.

“Would you two like to be married today?” he chuckled good-naturedly.

“Oh yes!” exclaimed Bella, causing everyone to laugh at her eagerness.

Thorin squeezed her hand before turning to face the wizard.

“My friends, we are gathered here to witness Thorin Oakenshield and Bella Baggins as they bind themselves to each other and pledge their eternal love and devotion. I cannot think of two people who deserve their joy more than these two. Their love has been forged and tempered in the fires of hardship and pain. They have been through experiences that have bonded them in ways most will never know. They were two separate people, who will now meld into one, but each still carrying their essential cores of strength, making their union strong enough to withstand anything that is thrown at them. Their bond is a sacred gift from the Valar.”

Thorin gazed down at his beloved, seeing the tears in her eyes, as they listened to Gandalf’s words. He couldn’t help but agree. Separately, they were two strong beings, but together, they were unbreakable. Like the rock that made up the kingdom of Erebor. 

“Let them now pledge their vows to each other.”

Taking a deep breath, their hands joined, Thorin spoke only to her. “Bella Baggins of Bag End. I did not believe I would ever find my ‘One’. I was resigned to living the rest of my days alone, never knowing the love of the one meant for me. Then, thanks to Gandalf,” he smiled at the wizard before continuing. “I knocked on a round green door and my whole world shifted. As a stubborn, stupid dwarf, I fought the inevitable until I couldn’t any longer. You have become my whole world. I live and breath for you, Bella. Without you, you may as well bury me under the rock of Erebor.”

Squeezing her fingers as he leant forward until their noses almost touched, he continued huskily, raw emotion swirling in his magnificent blue eyes. “I vow to love you, care for you, protect you and any children we may be blessed with. All that I am and all that I have is yours from this day and for all eternity.”

Barely able to speak for the emotion clogging her throat, Bella said her vows. “Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, King of Erebor. Like you, I believed I would never find the love of my life. Then you and your company exploded into my world and I found everything I ever wanted. I found love, friendship, brothers, adventure. I experienced pain that I never I thought I could feel, but also the greatest joy I’ve ever known. I know that there will be hard times ahead, times when we are totally exasperated with each other, but I also know that our bond, our love, will allow us to work through those times and we will be richer for it. As we have already proven.”

Bella took a deep breath to steady herself. “I vow to love you, care for you, make a home for you and any children we are fortunate to have. All that I am and all that I have is yours from this day and for all eternity.”

Tears streaming down her face, she watched as one finally escaped the corner of Thorin’s eye and reached up to gently wipe it away with her finger.

“Thorin and Bella will now place a crown of flowers on each other heads and bind their hands,” interrupted Gandalf.

Dwalin and Primula stepped forward and gave them a flower crown each. With a grin, Bella placed hers on Thorin’s head. He should have looked silly, but he still managed to look regal and magnificent. Then Thorin did the same, stroking his fingers over her hair as he did so.

They then turned towards Gandalf, holding out a hand each. Gandalf wrapped a white ribbon around their wrists, symbolizing the bind of their two souls. Placing a hand over theirs, Gandalf spoke the words that sealed their marriage.

“Two souls that were separate, are now one. With the sacred blessings of the Valar, I now pronounce Thorin Oakenshield and Bella Baggins to be husband and wife.” 

“You may know kiss your bride,” he declared with a grin.

Thorin turned towards his new wife, and with his free hand, pulled her in close. 

“I love you, my wife,” he whispered as he captured her lips in their first kiss as husband and wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter out. It's been quite hectic but I finally knuckled down and got this chapter out.
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos I've received - they're much appreciated.
> 
> I've also set up a Tumblr account. It's mainly Richard Armitage pics (cause who can get enough of him?). My Tumblr name is queenoferebor1204 . I'm still learning how to navigate it so don't expect too much:)


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be the last official chapter of this story. An epilogue will follow to tie everything up in a pretty bow.
> 
> It also lives up to its Mature rating - just saying :)

When Bella was a young fauntling, she would imagine her dream wedding. Though the face of her imaginary groom was never clear, she knew he was a strapping hobbit lad, much sought after amongst the lasses, probably with light brown hair, similar to hers.

She would imagine that her parents put on the biggest party anyone had ever seen. Hobbits would come from all corners of The Shire just to witness the wedding of Bella Baggins to her handsome groom. In fact, the event would be so big, that envoys all the way from Gondor would be present.

A party that size would need every bit of the commons around the party tree. There would be hundreds of candles to light the scene, whilst flowers were festooned just about everywhere. The tables would literally groan with the amount of food heaped upon them whilst the centrepiece would be a ten-layer wedding cake, each one a different flavour.

And then there would be her dress. Her mother had mentioned a time or two how she had put her own dress away very carefully in the hope of seeing her daughter wear it one day. At that age, Bella was not keen on the idea. She wanted something more elaborate, befitting the scale of her dream wedding. Her mother’s dress was just too plain.

No, Bella’s dress would outshine any other dress seen in the Shire. It would have more layers, more ribbons, more embroidery than her mother’s. People would gasp in awe as they caught their first sight of her.

Yes, Bella’s dream wedding would be spoken of for hundreds of years.

Sitting on the blanket, cuddled up to her new husband, Bella could only chuckle to herself as she remembered her childhood fantasy. This wedding could not be further removed from that dream wedding if she tried.

And she wouldn’t have it any other way.

If she had been asked yesterday how she would like her wedding to Thorin to look like, this would be it.

Small, intimate, with those she loved in attendance and filled with so much joy that she would look back in years to come and smile every time she remembered today.

To think that Thorin, that grumpy, stubborn dwarf, could surprise her with the most romantic wedding she could imagine, was hard to fathom.

Yet, he had. And her love for him, already beyond measure, grew even more.

Unable to resist, she reached up, pulled his face down to hers and kissed him. He eagerly returned the caress, his lips sliding softly over hers, making her pulse begin to race. Needing more, she pushed back against him, deepening the kiss, her tongue seeking entrance.

“Oi! Settle down! You’ll embarrass the young ones,” called out Bofur, a giggling Poppy next to him.

Blushing, Bella pulled back and glared at Bofur whilst everyone else laughed. “When you keep your hands off Poppy, I’ll keep mine off Thorin.”

“Mahal, this is going to be a _long_ journey,” drawled Dwalin in mock disgust.

“Hey Fee, we’re definitely going to learn a thing or two, don’t you think?” quipped Kili, staying well away from Thorin’s arm.

“I think we’re going to be the most popular dwarves in Erebor, Kee,” replied Fili with a chuckle. “At least with the dwarrowdams.”

“Ori might even learn a thing or two watching those four,” laughed Kili.

“Enough, you two,” growled Thorin, unable to keep the grin from his face. “I’ll not have my wife embarrassed by her impudent nephews.” How he loved saying that word!

“Sorry, Auntie Bella,” teased Fili, his tone indicating sorry was one thing he was not.

“Yes, we’re sorry, Auntie Bella. We promise we won’t tease you anymore,” agreed Kili, an adorable pout on his face. “For at least another hour…”

Thorin jumped up suddenly, so that Bella nearly fell back on the ground, and proceeded to chase his cheeky nephews, threatening all sorts of retribution. Bella lay back and laughed uproariously at the sight, quickly joined by the others.

Before long, the other dwarves joined in and it wasn’t long before they were huddled in a group wrestle, near the edge of the river.

“Who do you think will be the first to fall in?” giggled Poppy as she and Primula sat down next to the bride, watching the antics. Drogo was much too wise to get involved and sat next to Gandalf. Besides, he was much smaller than the burly dwarves.

“My money is on Kili,” said Primula.

“I say Fili,” chimed in Bella

“No, definitely Bofur,” disagreed Poppy.

To the girls’ surprise, poor old Bifur was the first to end up in the water. He was laughingly tugging at Dwalin’s tunic when the big dwarf got knocked backwards, inadvertently pushing Bifur to the riverbank, the soft sand giving way and with a loud splash, in he went.

The play wrestle abruptly stopped as they all fell about laughing, Bifur spluttering and muttering curse words in Khuzdul as he dragged himself out of the river.

“Oh my,” giggled Bella as she rose to pick up one of the blankets. “Here, Bifur, take this and get yourself out of those clothes before you get a chill.”

“What’s this? My wife asking other males to disrobe?” grumbled Thorin good-naturedly.

“Well, if you will all act like dwarflings…” she responded with a grin, handing Bifur the blanket and accepting his thanks.

The afternoon shadows grew longer and the wedding party drew to a close. Thorin stood, holding Bella close as he spoke to his friends.

“My friends, my brothers…and sisters,” he nodded at the blushing hobbits. “I want to thank you for all you have done for me and for Bella, not just today, but since the very beginning. You, and those of the company back in Erebor, stuck with me when all others scoffed at our quest. And then when we succeeded, you helped pull me through that terrible time when I lost my Bella. Now, when I have all I truly desire here in my arms, I want you to know that I consider each and every one of you my family. Whether we share blood or not, we share a bond of friendship that will endure. All of you will share an honoured place at our table and if ever in need, I will come.” Looking at the hobbits, he smiled gently. “My gentle hobbit friends, you too, are my family. Without you, I don’t know if I would be here. There will always be a place for you in Erebor, should you wish. Know also, that the dwarves of Erebor will always come to the aid of the hobbits of the Shire. I could never measure the debt I owe to you.”

The females were sniffling at Thorin’s heartfelt words. There were a few suspiciously shiny eyes amongst the males as well.

“As we prepare to journey tomorrow, know that we leave part of our hearts and our eternal friendship behind. Be assured that it will not be last you see of us, as I intend on returning, hopefully with our own little brood,” he said with a wistful smile.

“Oh, you’d _better_ come back to visit,” sniffled Primula. “I’d give you a sound telling off if you didn’t.”

“With that hanging over my head, how could I not?” joked Thorin. He then looked down at his new wife, silently asking if she wanted to say anything.

Throat choked with emotion, Bella looked at her friends. “Thank you! Thank you so much for today. I can’t think of a day I’ve loved more. Everything was perfect and especially so because you were able to share it with me. With us. As Thorin said, I didn’t just gain a husband today, I gained brothers and sisters. I love you all so much.” Turning to Primula, she gave her a watery smile. “Prim, I will miss you so much. You and Drogo. You were always more than my cousins. You are the siblings of my heart. What you did to make today possible is impossible to repay. As Thorin said, we owe you a debt that can never be repaid. And you can be sure that Thorin and I will return to visit. Neither of us could stay away forever. We love Hobbiton and you too much.”

The two embraced each other fiercely, tears rolling down their cheeks.

They both knew that it would be a long time before they saw each other again, though their hearts would stay close, always.

Now that the sun was beginning to set, Thorin and Bella said their goodbyes, hugs flowing freely, Primula and Drogo promising that they would see the company off in the morning.

Dwalin brought over the pony that had been happily chewing the grass for the last few hours. With a wide grin, Thorin scooped up Bella and placed her in the saddle sideways, settling himself behind her, one arm gathering her close as the other took the reins.

To the cheers and cheeky comments of their friends, the newlyweds took their leave. Bella blew kisses to all of them as the pony ambled down the track.

When they turned out of sight of the others, Thorin leaned down and nuzzled her neck, dropping gentle kisses on her skin, the soft hair of his beard giving her goosebumps.

“Mmm, you smell so sweet,” he murmured with a sigh. “My wife.”

“My husband,” she replied huskily.

“How I love hearing you call me that,” admitted Thorin. “Out of all the names and titles that I carry, that one is my favourite.”

“Well then, I shall just have call you that very often, won’t I, husband?” sighed Bella, earning herself a thorough kiss.

Though Thorin had always ignited her senses effortlessly, now that they were truly bonded, Bella felt almost feverish in her desire for him. As their kiss deepened, Bella couldn’t help squirming as the ache within her intensified. Seated as close to him as she was, there was no mistaking the hardness pressing against her hip.

“Mahal, I want you,” gasped Thorin as he pulled away abruptly, recalling that they were out in the open and nearing the hill to Bag End.

Bella gave a tiny growl of frustration at the loss of Thorin’s lips, pressing herself as close as possible, her hands gripping the sides of his tunic. His low chuckle rumbled through her body, making her need even keener.

“My little hobbit is turning fierce in her hunger,” he murmured against her hair. “Patience, my love. We are nearly home. We don’t want to scandalise the neighbours at this late stage, do we?”

Bella reluctantly nodded. When had she become so wanton? When Thorin walked into her life, she acknowledged.

“I love you so much,” she purred into his chest. “I need to be one with you.”

At her words, Thorin crushed her against him. “As I love you. I’m going to love you until you cannot speak. Until you’re too weak to move. Until you beg me to stop because you cannot take any more pleasure. Until my seed is running in rivulets down your thighs. I want you to feel me inside you for days and for you to ache when you look at me, remembering tonight.”

Bella’s whole body quivered at his words, unable to stop a small groan leaving her lips. “Hurry!”

The short trip to her home had never seemed so long, both of them almost frantic with hunger for each other. When they finally arrived, Thorin lifted her down before tying the pony to the fence. One of the dwarves would be by soon to collect it and get it ready for the morning. Not that he cared for anything beyond consummating his marriage to Bella at this point in time.

Taking her hand, he raced up the stairs, enjoying Bella’s breathless giggle as he fumbled with the lock in his eagerness. Honestly, he was acting like this was their first time.

But it was their first time. Their first time as husband and wife, as two people who were bonded in soul and were about to be bonded with their bodies. Two halves of one whole. As Mahal decreed.

Pushing the door open, at last, they almost stumbled inside in their haste. Without hesitation, he lifted her up and she immediately wrapped her legs around his waist whilst gripping him tightly around his neck, their mouths crashing into each other.

He began a passionate assault on her mouth, his tongue demanding entrance, which she gladly gave. Their tongues lasciviously lashed against each other, desperate to absorb the other’s essence, as he ground his fervid erection into her.

Needing air, Bella broke the kiss, her face flushed with arousal, as she panted and wriggled, wanting more friction. “Yes!” she moaned when his hands pulled her hard into him.

Without a word, he stalked into the kitchen and sat her down on the edge of the table. With his hands now free, he was able to tug her bodice down, leaving only her sheer shift covering her, her stiff nipples straining against the material.

“Let me get your dress off you. I don’t want to ruin it,” he murmured, tugging the skirt up.

That, even amidst the urgent lust he was feeling, he considered how much her mother’s dress meant to her, made Bella even more wild for him. With her help, he took off the dress, laying it carefully over the nearby chair.

Bella sat on the table, dressed only in her shift which was rucked up above her knees, her eyes begging him to continue.

“I don’t think you need this,” he said huskily. In one move, he ripped the shift right down the middle, leaving her naked except for her drawers. “Or this.” He ripped those too, so she sat in a puddle of shredded material.

Bella sighed lustily as she felt arousal soak her core. Needing his touch like she needed air, she pulled him close between her legs. Thorin wasted no time in taking hold of her breasts, squeezing them as he brushed his thumbs over the taut buds. As they grew harder, he bent down and took one in his mouth, sucking greedily on it, rolling and pulling on the other one.

Leaning back on her hands, Bella whimpered as shafts of lightning seemed to shoot straight down to her core, making her clench with insatiable longing.

Thorin then moved to its twin, leaving the first glistening and puckering in the cool air before squeezing both together so that he could greedily suckle both at the same time.

Needing to feel his skin, Bella moved her hands to his tunic, pulling frantically at the material. Thorin relented and helped her remove his upper clothes, leaving him bare to the waist. As he returned to devouring her breasts, she raked her fingernails through the pelt of hair on his chest, concentrating on his own taught nipples before moving down and tracing each and every bump and scar on his torso. She would have happily licked every bit of his skin but Thorin’s mouth on her body prevented that for now, but they had all night, after all.

As she began tugging on the laces of his tight breeches, Thorin took hold of her hands and gently pushed her backwards so that she lay prone on the table, her body open to his gaze. Bella vaguely thought that she should be embarrassed to be laid so bare, nothing hidden from his view, but the glaze of hunger in his eyes precluded that. How could she be embarrassed to be so openly desired by her lover? How could she not feel like the most beautiful being in Middle Earth?

With a faint growl, Thorin leaned over and took her mouth again, demanding her complete and utter surrender, which she eagerly gave. He then began the trek down her body, nipping, sucking and licking everywhere as he neared his ultimate destination. He took a grip of her thighs and lifted them up as he gazed at her soaked core, her breathing coming in harsh pants now.

“So beautiful,” he murmured, his voice sending even deeper shafts of lust through her. “Mine. You are all mine, forever.”

“Yes! Oh yes!” she gasped. “I’m your’s. Please, Thorin,” she begged.

At her plea, he finally bent down and proceeded to feast on her, her cries and whimpers of pleasure ringing throughout the hobbit hole. His tongue and fingers created magic as he drove her to heights of pleasure she hadn’t thought possible. Higher and higher he wound her until something inside her snapped and she climaxed with a yell, her hands unconsciously pulling Thorin’s braids as he worked her through each wave until it passed, leaving her boneless.

With a self-satisfied chuckle, Thorin reached up and kissed her deeply, his erection grinding into her pulsing core. His beard was damp from her own wetness and somehow it was so erotic that Bella felt her hunger rise again, despite having been so thoroughly satisfied only moments before.

Squeezing her hands between their bodies, Bella pulled apart his laces enough so that she could tug his breeches down, his swollen erection bursting free from its confines. Thorin groaned throatily when she took him in her hand and massaged him in the manner she had learned he particularly liked.

“Enough,” he gasped. “Or I will spill myself like a green dwarfling onto you.”

“I’d like that,” she replied huskily and immediately blushed at her words. What had he turned her into?

Thorin chuckled and pressed a kiss to her nipple. “We can do that later. Now, I want to be inside you. Finish inside you.”

Matching words to actions, he surged inside her, Bella rolling her head back at the sensation of fullness. Of completion. Of rightness.

This was where she belonged. Where he belonged. Together – always.

As his movements sped up, the table began rocking despite its sturdiness. Bella was oblivious to the hardness of the wood beneath her back or the scratching sounds the legs made against the floor.

Her whole world contracted solely to Thorin above her, inside her, her legs wrapped around his waist, holding him in a vice-like grip as he drove their bodies towards their ultimate pleasure. Bella could see the sheen of sweat that formed on his face and body, could hear the harsh groans erupting from his throat, could feel his hands grip her shoulders as he thrust urgently into her.

Throughout their lovemaking, their eyes never left each other, silently communicating what their impassioned bodies acted out.

In no time at all, Bella felt her body approach its goal and gripped him even tighter. “ _Thorin!_ ” she gasped, as with a roll of his hips, her climax washed over her and she couldn’t help crying out in her ecstasy.

It seemed to be the catalyst for Thorin’s own, and with a final hard thrust, he peaked violently. “I love you…love you… _love you_ ,” he cried out harshly as her body milked every drop of his seed.

Shaking, panting breathlessly, he slumped carefully down onto her, burying his face in her neck. They could feel each other’s hearts pounding as they pressed tightly together, their sweat-slicked skin sticking together as they recovered.

“Oh, my!” murmured Bella, breaking the silence, though her voice sounded rough after her hoarse cries. “That was…”

“Mmm, yes, it was,” chuckled Thorin against her throat. “You realise I haven’t even taken my breeches and boots off yet?”

Bella raised a hand to her mouth as she laughed in sheer happiness. “And my kitchen table was certainly never meant to be used in this manner!”

Thorin looked at her, his eyes shining with a mix of joy, mirth and love. “I love you, my wife.”

Smoothing her fingers over his beard, she reached up and kissed him. “As I love you, my husband.”

Thorin straightened, pulling Bella up with him. “Oh, my back’s going to be sore later!” she exclaimed as her muscles protested their recent treatment on the hard surface.

“I’ll massage it later,” he murmured against her shoulder. “Amongst other things.”

“And we are going to be two very tired travellers tomorrow,” she remarked breathlessly as his lips moved to her throat.

“We are in no rush. We’ll stop for the night when you become too tired and take regular breaks. Can’t have my wife getting too fatigued, can I?”

“Nor my husband.” When Thorin’s hands began wandering again, Bella took hold of his braid and smiled at him. “Can we move this to the bedroom? I don’t think my back could take another round on the hard wood.”

Stopping only to pull his breeches up enough to enable him to walk, Thorin picked her up, arms and legs wrapped around him and strode purposefully to their bedroom.

He then proceeded to keep the promise he’d made on the way back to Bag End.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A little bleary-eyed, Bella walked through Bag End for the last time, trying to memorise the only home she’d ever known, touching furniture and knick-knacks that brought wistful smiles to her face.

Though ecstatically happy to be starting her married life, she couldn’t help the touch of sadness she felt at leaving. She supposed it was the same for all brides leaving the family home, though, for her, the move was a monumental one.

She was running her hand over the back of her favourite chair when a kiss to her cheek brought her back to the present. Turning around, she leant into Thorin’s strong chest, loving the feeling of his arms holding her close.

“Not having second thoughts?” he murmured against her hair as one hand fingered the new braid he’d put in her hair this morning.

Thorin had explained that this braid signified that they were a married couple, attaching a golden bead, dotted with tiny sapphires, to it. He’d then shown her how to braid a matching one in his hair, unable to hide the grin on his face as she did so with far less dexterity than he.

“No,” she reassured him. “I’m just a little sad to say goodbye.”

“I know, my heart. We will come back, I promise.” With a soft kiss, he took her hand, threading his fingers through hers. “Come, it’s time to go. The other’s are waiting at the bottom of the hill.”

Nodding, she watched as he picked up her back pack and led her to the door. For the final time, she closed her round, green door and locked it, intending to give the key to Drogo so that he could keep an eye on it until Bofur and Poppy returned from Erebor.

There was quite a crowd waiting for them. Besides the company and all the accompanying ponies, Primula and Drogo were joined by many of the villagers.

Fili and Kili were surrounded by a myriad of hobbit lasses, many teary-eyed at the prospect of losing the handsome dwarves’ company. A number had made little tokens of their affection to remember them by. Of course, the lads were lapping it up.

Poppy’s family was there to see their daughter and son-in-law off. Poppy’s mother was fussing over them both, anxious that they had enough supplies, despite Bofur’s assurances that he would take all possible care of his wife.

The other dwarves were saying goodbye to the various friends they had made during their time in Hobbiton. Several of Dwalin’s students were listening attentively as he demanded that they keep up their training, even after he left. He invited them to come to Erebor for further training if ever they were able to.

Gandalf was trying to fend off the pleas of the children to let off some fireworks, telling them the daylight was no good for the endeavour and promising to light some next time he came through Hobbiton.

Bella and Thorin arrived at the bottom and were immediately engulfed by well-wishers. Thorin bore it patiently for a little while until he called out that it was time to mount their ponies as the day was getting on.

As the company prepared themselves, Bella turned to Primula and Drogo. With a little sob, she took them in her arms, hugging them as tightly as possible. She could feel Primula’s body shake from her tears and even felt a drop or two of moisture from Drogo.

“I’m going to miss you both so much,” she whispered brokenly. “I promise this won’t be the last time we meet.”

“No, it won’t,” said Thorin standing the next to them.

“I’ll hold you both to that,” replied Primula, wiping her eyes. “We’ll pray that you have a safe, peaceful journey. If you can, I would like to know that you are all well.”

“Bella can send one of Erebor’s ravens whenever she wishes,” advised Thorin. “You can correspond much more often and quickly than by sending a runner.”

“Really?” asked Bella, her spirits lifting at Thorin’s indulgent nod. “Hear that, Prim? We can write often and it won’t feel like we’re so far away.”

“That sounds wonderful,” replied Primula. Taking hold of Bella one last time, she hugged her tightly. “I love you, Bella. I know you will make a wonderful queen and that you will be happy. How can you fail to be when you have someone who loves you as much as Thorin does? Take care of him. Have a safe journey.”

Letting go of her cousin, she turned and wrapped her arms around Thorin, startling the dwarf, to Bella’s amusement.

“You’ll take care of her, won’t you?” Thorin nodded earnestly. “Good, because you will never find anyone who loves you like she does. Make her happy or you’ll hear from me.”

Thorin chuckled softly at her words. “I don’t deserve her, but I’ve pledged my life to making her happy. Nothing is more important than her.”

Primula smiled up at him as she stepped back, allowing Drogo to say his goodbyes.

The rest of the company had alighted their ponies, so Thorin led Bella to his. He wanted her to ride with him for a while, not wanting to be separated from her yet, even if it was only to ride another pony. Bella certainly had no objection to that, so she gladly allowed him to lift her up into the saddle before settling himself behind her. She sighed and leaned back against his chest, surrounded by his warmth.

“Company! Let us depart,” he called out as he led them out.

To waving, well-wishing and calls of farewell, they began the long journey back to Erebor, tears both openly and surreptitiously shed. Soon, they were on the outskirts of the village, the rest of the Shire and the vast lands of Middle Earth before them.

As they followed the track that led away from Hobbiton, Bella took one last, lingering look at the place she had always called home.

“Are you alright?” murmured Thorin behind her, nuzzling her neck. “No regrets?”

Bella smiled and shook her head.

“No, I was just thinking.”

“Of what?”

“That I’m going on another adventure. And I can’t wait to begin.”

 

_The End_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read, commented, bookmarked, gave kudos or simply enjoyed this story. It's been a labour of love and to know it's given you pleasure is the reason I write in the first place. 
> 
> It's all I wanted when I started (besides Richard Armitage, of course!)
> 
> Epilogue to follow


	34. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well folks, this is the end of our very long journey.
> 
> Thank you so, so much for your support. I so appreciate all your comments, bookmarks, kudos and those that just read along. I'm so glad so many of you enjoyed a story that began as a need to see Thorin survive BoTFA, as seeing him die on screen still kills me every time.
> 
> A huge thank you to lizajay12 who encouraged the initial idea and proof-read so many chapters, fixing up my mistakes.
> 
> I wish you all a safe and joyous Christmas if you celebrate it. If not, I hope you have a nice, restful break. It's summer here, so I intend spending much of it at the beach, reading fanfiction, lol.
> 
> As usual, I don't own anything, not even Richard Armitage, though I'm still hopeful Santa will leave him under my tree, as requested.

The first sight of the Lonely Mountain brought tears to the eyes of the weary travellers and a gasp of wonder from Poppy, the only one who had never seen it before.

The last five months had been both a joy and a challenge. While the weather had mostly remained fair, there had been enough downpours to test even the most positive person. Tempers had been frayed and harsh words spoken on occasion, quickly forgiven, and Bella could be pardoned for wondering a time or two what in Arda she had been thinking when agreeing to travel back to Erebor.

For the most part though, she and Thorin existed in haze of love and happiness. They rode together for a few hours every day, often teasing each other surreptitiously until they couldn’t bear it any longer and Bella would swap over onto her pony as they tried to get the racing pulses under control. Dwalin cottoned on quite quickly to what was going on and would distract the others, shaking his head in mock disgust. The younger dwarves took longer to work it out but when they did, the ribald remarks came, which would have Bella blushing and Thorin growling. It didn’t stop them though. Luckily they shared the remarks with the other newlyweds, Bofur giving back as good as he got.

At first they stayed in as many inns as possible but as they travelled further east into more remote country, they needed to camp more and more often, despite being able to stay in the odd remote barn on occasion. 

For their wives’ comfort, both Thorin and Bofur erected tents each night, with just enough room for two. While snug, neither of the couples complained as it did give them a measure of privacy even if Thorin happily had to bear the marks of Bella’s teeth as she attempted to stop herself from crying out her pleasure each night. For that reason, Thorin would pitch their tent a little further away from the others though the sniggers from his nephews in the morning let them both know they hadn’t been completely successful in their endeavours.

There were some occasions when Thorin and Bella could sneak away from the others and indulge in their passion. The same thought occurred to Poppy and Bofur and, one time, Bella and Thorin nearly came across the other couple in the woods, only Poppy’s cry averting what would have been a mortifying event for both pairs as Thorin quickly changed their direction, both blushing in the near darkness.

Once again, Gandalf led them to Rivendell, where they were warmly welcomed by Elrond and Arwen. Bella gave a little cry when she saw the lovely elven maid and rushed to greet her, the two friends hugging and crying with joy at meeting again. When coherent once more, Bella proudly introduced her husband.

“Welcome, Your Majesty,” greeted Arwen. “I am beyond pleased to see my dear friend so happy.” Thorin returned the greeting cordially though he couldn’t help dropping his eyes at the knowledge that he was the cause of Bella’s previous despair during her previous stay.

Before he was allowed to wallow in his guilt, Bella took his hand and kissed it, her eyes glowing with love. Thorin gave her a tender smile, recognizing what she was wordlessly telling him before they both turned to greet Lord Elrond.

It wasn’t long before they were ensconced in a large, airy bedroom where they were to rest and freshen up before a welcoming feast in the evening. Though tired, they had not had such a comfortable bed since the last inn many weeks ago, so they wallowed in the luxury as they made love before dozing off. Upon waking, they bathed together in the large sunken tub, scrubbing off weeks of travel dirt. 

“How long are we to stay?” asked Bella as they walked hand-in-hand to Elrond’s feast.

“It is up to you, my love,” replied Thorin. “I know you would like to spend a little time with the princess.”

“Yes, I’ve missed Arwen very much. It would be wonderful to catch up on each other’s lives. I have so much to tell,” she said, smirking up at her handsome husband.

“Oh? And what will you tell her? How wonderful I am in bed? How I can make you scream with just my mouth?”

Bella gasped and then gave him a little slap on the arm as she giggled. “Certainly not? I am going to tell her how my handsome dwarf king wooed me and convinced me to marry him.” Looking slyly up at him, she continued. “Then…I’ll tell her about your prowess in the bedroom.” Letting him go, she began running, laughing as he chased her down the halls, threatening retribution.

And almost running down Lord Elrond. 

Only his quick elven reflexes prevented Bella from toppling back onto the floor. Setting her upright with a grin, he nodded at both Thorin and Bella, the former attempting to re-assert his regal disposition, embarrassed to be caught in such a manner, especially by one of the most powerful beings in Middle Earth.

“Shall we go and enjoy the feast?” asked the elven lord, suppressing the urge to laugh. Never would he have ever imagined seeing the stubborn, aggressive, dwarven king in such a carefree, light-hearted manner. Love had wrought wonders on both of them.

Nodding in agreement, Thorin held out his arm to his wife in a much more dignified manner, who took it with a large grin as they walked to the feast, chatting with Lord Elrond all the way.

They ended up staying a week in Elrond’s halls, Thorin wanting to ensure that they arrived back in Erebor well before the winter set in.

It was a wonderful week for Bella, who spent many hours with Arwen while her husband conferred with Lord Elrond and Gandalf over political and diplomatic matters concerning both their people.

One afternoon, Bella caught up with Lord Elrond in his office. Once again, she thanked him for all his support during her last stay before asking if he had foreseen she and Thorin reuniting.

Elrond shook his head. “No, my dear. I can foresee many events, but that wasn’t one of them. I just knew that such a love as yours would find a way.”

“But you didn’t know how Thorin felt?”

“You did tell me of your relationship, remember? And I did not tell you before, but the first time you came, when you and your husband were still at loggerheads, shall we say, I could sense his strong feelings for you then.”

Bella looked at him wide-eyed. “Really? I thought he hated me back then, though I know better now. How could you tell?”

“The way he looked at you, when you were not aware of it. The feeling I had that he wanted to be both as close to and as far away from you as possible. Those sorts of reactions are not those of someone who feels nothing.”

Pleased to have this insight on Thorin, Bella continued chatting with Elrond, mentioning how much they both hoped to have a family but were prepared for the eventuality that it may not happen. Elrond smiled enigmatically as she spoke and once again advised that no-one could see all things in the future. 

When they left Rivendell, Bella extended an invitation, with her husband’s wholehearted approval, to their ‘official’ wedding in Erebor, whenever that was. “We will send a raven from Erebor,” advised Thorin.

“Ada and I would most certainly be honoured to attend,” agreed Arwen eagerly. “We shall look forward to it very much, won’t we?” 

Lord Elrond smiled benignly, agreeing that it would an event to remember, if he recalled correctly how dwarves celebrated marriages. 

With fond farewells, the company continued their journey home, intending to cross the Misty Mountains via the same path that Bella and Gandalf took, but in the opposite direction.

Though Elrond had reported few goblin encounters, Thorin still ordered that the hobbits ride in the middle so that they would be protected in the event of an attack. Confident as she was in Thorin’s skills, Bella couldn’t prevent the nervousness that persisted until they crossed the mountains and were back on the plains.

Gandalf led the company to Beorn’s house where the dwarves received a much warmer welcome than their previous ‘visit’. Much talk was spent discussing the events of the battle but Bella didn’t wish to be reminded of that awful time, so she and Poppy toured Beorn’s property instead, making friends with the animals and relaxing in the late autumn sunshine. 

Poppy was still in a state of shock at the sheer size of the skin-changer. She thought meeting the elves had been exciting but this! Beorn had been just as fascinated to meet yet another hobbit and had picked Poppy up unexpectedly, causing her to shriek in surprise. Bofur’s reaction was swift and only the intervention of the other dwarves prevented an unpleasant scene. Realising his error, Beorn had apologised to them and peace was restored. Bella had explained to Poppy later that Beorn hadn’t meant any harm; it was just that they were a source of fascination for the huge man.

They stayed for a couple days, during which Gandalf sent word to Thranduil’s halls to advise that the company was going to travel the elven path again. It would mean leaving the ponies at the elven gate though Beorn promised to take care of them.

As they were packing, Bella found herself a little way from the others, Beorn by her side.

“Safe journey, little bunny. Do not overtax yourself on the path,” advised Beorn.

Bella frowned up at her friend in puzzlement. “Thank you. Thorin will take care of me, I know.”

“Aye, I’ve seen how he looks at you. He’ll be even more protective now, I think.”

“What do you mean?” This conversation was getting more confusing by the second.

“Now that you carry his heir,” replied Beorn offhandedly.

Bella couldn’t do anything other than gape at the skin-changer. “W-what did you say?”

Beorn looked down at her with a knowing grin. “You carry the king’s heir in your belly.”

“But…but…I’m not…not…with child!” 

“Yes, you are,” he insisted.

“How could you know that, if I don’t?”

“You smell different. It is very early yet, but I could tell as soon as we met again,” advised Beorn.

Bella had to sit down. This was…this was too enormous to process. 

Pregnant?

Beorn believed she was pregnant! Could she believe it?

She didn’t feel any different and she hadn’t missed her courses, which were due in a few days. If she was with child, then it was extremely early. 

Thorin’s voice calling her brought her back to the present. Despite Beorn’s words, she had difficulty believing it until she had definitive proof. She decided not to say anything to Thorin until she was certain. If her courses didn’t arrive as expected, then she would tell her husband.

Riding with Thorin as usual, his hand splayed over where their child possibly lay, Bella hoped with everything in her that Beorn was right.

At the elven gate, they were met by a party of elves sent by Thranduil to escort them through Mirkwood. Amongst them was Lindiriel, whom Bella greeted with great delight. The elf looked at Thorin, then smirked slightly at Bella before whispering in her ear, “Seems I was right.” Bella just laughed and nodded, before introducing the company.

“My wife has a collection of friends everywhere,” observed Thorin under his breath, which Bella heard.

“Well, that’s what happens when one is not surly and unfriendly,” she retorted, his chuckle following her into the trees.

The forest was as oppressive as before but it was a far different journey than the previous one. The elves had enough supplies to supplement their own and while the dwarves and elves didn’t exactly socialise, there was no unpleasantness or ill feeling. Kili flirted outrageously with Lindiriel, who simply bore it with quiet humour, while Bella and Poppy were glad to have another female to gossip with. 

They only stayed a couple of nights in Thranduil’s halls, the elven lord putting on a feast for his guests and using the opportunity to discuss the progress that had taken place in Thorin’s absence. Feeling fatigued, Bella excused herself and was taken to their chambers, which were a marked contrast to the cells Thorin had previously occupied.

As she readied herself for bed, Bella finally had a quiet moment to think about Beorn’s words. She noted that her courses were a few days late but that could be due to the travelling, so she didn’t raise her hopes up yet. The tiredness could also be attributed to walking through a dense forest. She didn’t feel any different, only a slight soreness in her breasts, but that was common before her courses.

It was still too early to tell, but she couldn’t help the flutter of hope in her chest beating stronger than before.

Unable to stand the suspense any longer, she decided to have Lindiriel take her to one of the elven healers while Thorin was meeting with Thranduil the next day. The healer, centuries of knowledge and wisdom in his ageless face, calmly examined Bella before smiling at her.

“Congralutations, my lady. You are definitely carrying a new life within you. I daresay there will be much rejoicing in your husband’s kingdom at this news.”

Bella burst into tears, her heart overflowing with joy. A baby! She and Thorin were having a baby! Their heartfelt wishes had come true. How happy he would be!

In something of a daze, she went back to her chambers, reassuring Lindiriel that her health was fine. Laying on the bed, she rubbed her hand over her belly, where she knew her child lay, already in love with the little being that she and Thorin had so longed for.

“You will be so loved, my little one,” she murmured. “You will be the light in your father’s eyes. Your cousins and family will adore you.” A tear seeped out of the corner of her eye as she pictured Thorin with their babe, proud and protective. 

The healer had assured her that she was quite healthy and that their gentle pace of travel would not endanger the baby at this early stage. Bella decided to wait to tell Thorin her news upon their first sight of Erebor. She wanted the moment to be even more special for him. Though how she would keep the excitement to herself, she didn’t know.

Upon exiting Mirkwood, they were met by a contingent of dwarven soldiers, sent by Balin to escort them to the mountain. 

Amongst them were Nori, Gloin, his son Gimli and to their delight, Thorin’s sister, Dis, who had not been able to wait a moment more to see her sons, brother and his new wife.

Fili and Kili gave a huge cry of delight as they engulfed their mother, who was crying unashamedly as she held her beloved boys before scolding them for giving her such a fright, but not letting go regardless.

In the meantime, Bella was enthusiastically greeted by her friends, Gloin proudly introducing his son, Gimli. Bella told him that she felt like she already knew him, having listened to his father’s tales on the journey, making the young dwarf blush fiercely.

Dis had finally let her sons go, only to nearly choke her brother in her fierce grip. The siblings held each other for a long moment, words unnecessary.

Letting go, Thorin took Dis’ arm and turned towards Bella. “Dis, I would like to introduce you to your new sister, my beloved wife, Bella. Without her, I doubt any of us would be standing here,” he told her proudly.

Bella’s breath was stolen as she was immersed in a flurry of arms, hair and tears before reaching up and hugging her new sister back.

Shorter than Thorin, Dis stepped back and took Bella’s face in her hands. “Thank you. Thank you for my brother and my sons. I have been regaled with tales of your bravery and kindness. You will have my eternal love and gratitude. I am proud to have you for my sister.”

Her heartfelt words brought tears to Bella’s eyes as she smiled back at the lovely dwarrowdam. She could clearly see the resemblance to Thorin, though Dis’ beauty was much more feminine, with her black hair and soft, wispy beard. Her eyes, though, they were as lovely and bright as her brother’s.

“Thank you, Dis. I have been so nervous about meeting you, even with Thorin’s reassurances. I hope we will become great friends.”

Dis laughed. “I have no doubt about that. How could I not like the one that put my thick-headed brother in his place?” Bella giggled at Thorin’s disgruntled murmur. “No, Bella, my dear, I’m most happy to relinquish that role to you, though I don’t envy you,” she said, smirking at her brother.

“I’m so happy to see you too, sister,” muttered Thorin.

“There are compensations,” laughed Bella, in her husband’s defense.

“I suggest we continue our journey before I become thoroughly emasculated in my subjects’ eyes,” said Thorin. He introduced his wife, their new queen, to the soldiers, who knelt down in deference before placing Bella back on his pony.

This is what I will need to get used to, thought Bella as she mounted the pony. She was no longer just Bella, wife of Thorin Oakenshield. No, now she was Bella, Queen of Erebor. And this was just a taste what awaited her.

Then she felt Thorin’s arms around her and she relaxed. To the kingdom, she would be queen, but she would always be simply ‘Bella’ to her husband.  
It was a merry journey around the lake, where Bella could see much of the town had been rebuilt, but with much better building materials. Gloin appraised them of the happenings around the mountain and Bella looked forward to seeing the changes for herself. The last time she saw Erebor, it had been a desolate vista, filled with dead and injured.

When the mountain finally came into sight, Thorin sighed with pleasure at seeing his home again. He hadn’t realised how much he missed it until it was there in front of him. 

That night, as they camped, Bella asked Thorin if they could walk a little ways away from the camp. Puzzled, Thorin agreed before informing the guard, who would keep a respectful distance from the couple.

There were many more trees and groves than there had been previously, Thorin had noted with satisfaction, so he led them to a stand of trees near the lake shore, where they were shielded from other eyes. He kept Orcrist with him at all times, though, just in case.

Sitting down, he pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around his wife as well as the blanket he had brought with him to protect her from the cold night air. “Was there a reason you wanted more privacy?” he asked while nuzzling her hair.

Bella nodded and looked into his eyes. She wanted to see the play of emotions in his beautiful eyes when she told him her news. He raised his eyebrow in enquiry as she took hold of his marriage braid.

“Yes, there was a reason I wanted to be alone with you,” she started. “And no, it’s not for that,” she giggled at the lascivious look that came over his face. “Well, not yet, anyway.” 

“Bella, what is it? Are you ill?”

“No, my love, no. I couldn’t be more perfect.” Taking his hands, she knelt up so their eyes were same height. “Thorin, my darling dwarf, I have the most wonderful news.” Placing one of his hands on her stomach, smiled shakily at him. “Thorin, we are going to have a baby,” she said, wonder clouding her voice.

She watched as a range of emotions crossed his face; confusion and disbelief turning into hope, amazement, wonder and finally, complete and utter joy.

“Bella? Bella!” he cried out, as the news finally sunk in. His eyes dropped to her belly, where his hand rested and he gentled caressed it. “Bella, is it true? You carry our babe?” It was still hard to believe.

“Yes!” she sniffled, seeing the tears gather in his eyes. “Yes, Thorin, it’s true. We are going to be parents.”

Gathering her in his arms, he kissed her deeply, conveying all his love, joy and gratitude in the caress. She could feel the wetness on his cheek and wiped them away with her fingers, as he did the same to her. 

For a long while they said nothing, just stared into each other’s eyes, as they processed the enormity of the situation.

Pulling her back onto his lap, Thorin kissed her temple, then just held her, one hand continuously rubbing her stomach.

“Thank you, my heart,” he said quietly, awe still in his voice. “Thank you for the precious gift you have given me. I will never be worthy of it, but I will love, treasure and protect you both until the end of my days.”

“This is a gift we’ve given each other. Our love has given us this precious babe. I think we both deserve it.”

“How far along are you? How long have you known?”

“Beorn was the first to tell me, but I didn’t believe him as I hadn’t missed my courses.”

“How did the skin changer know this?” he asked, confused.

Bella shrugged. “He said I smelled different.” He looked at her in disbelief and she shrugged. “Anyway, he told me it was very early so I decided not to say anything as it was too hard to believe. Once we were in Thranduil’s halls, I saw a healer who confirmed it. Working back, I believe that I am no more than six or seven weeks along.”

“And you are well?” he asked a little worriedly. Dwarven pregnancies tended to be quite straightforward but Bella was not a dwarf.

“So far, so good,” she replied, squeezing his hand in reassurance. “Though that may change. Some hobbits suffer terrible morning sickness.”

“We will have Oin take a look at you as soon as we return to Erebor,” he determined, kissing her forehead. “You must tell me and him of any concerns straight away. I couldn’t bear it something happened to you.” His voice reflected his fear.

“Hobbits generally have no problems with childbirth,” she tried to reassure him.

“But none of them have carried a half-dwarven child, have they?” Bella shook her head. “We don’t even know how long your pregnancy will last.”

“No, we don’t. But we won’t dwell on the bad things, Thorin,” she insisted. “We will concentrate on how happy we are and how much we look forward to meeting our baby.”

Thorin smiled before kissing her softly. “Yes. Mahal would not have given us this second chance only to take it from us. I very much look forward to seeing you rounded with my babe. You will be the most beautiful mother-to-be.”

The sat and talked for a while longer, deciding not to tell anyone until she had been examined by Oin, until Thorin deemed it too cold for her and carried her back to their tent, despite her laughing protests.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Their return to Erebor was met with great joy. Balin was the first to greet them, tears in his eyes as he welcomed his king and friend back home. An equally hard hug was given to Bella. She then greeted the rest of the company that she hadn’t seen in so long. Bofur proudly introduced his new wife, who was appropriately welcomed by his brother and friends. 

Balin organised a great feast to welcome their king back, and it was where Thorin introduced his new wife to his people, whose numbers had swelled enormously in the time he was gone. As well as dwarves from Ered Luin, dwarves from the Iron Hills and the Grey Mountains had decided to make Erebor their home. 

Though Balin was going to give him a comprehensive tour on the morrow to show him all the progress that had been made, Thorin was amazed by what he had already seen at how much had been achieved and the changes to his home. Where the landscape surrounding the mountain had been scorched and desolate, now it was flourishing with trees and woods, as well as extensive crops nearer to Dale.

Inside, from what Thorin had seen, there was no evidence that the dragon had taken up residence for so long, though he was sure that he would find scorched areas and signs of damage once he inspected it properly. 

Bella had been amazed when they entered the great portal, to the cheers of the dwarves. Her mouth had dropped to see a small part of the magnificence that Erebor had once been and would be again.

“It’s so different,” she had remarked with awe. “It’s…it’s beautiful, Thorin. Like you told me it would be.”

“This is but a taste of what will be, my love,” he replied, pride suffusing his countenance at the obvious approval of his wife of their new home. “In time, Erebor will return to its full glory.”

“As long as we are together, I will be happy,” she declared.

In the morning Oin came to see her, at Thorin’s behest. He was overjoyed at their news and examined her thoroughly, pronouncing her fit and healthy. As none had dealt with a dwarf-hobbit pregnancy before, much of it would be a learning curve for all of them. Oin vowed to keep a close eye on her, much to Thorin’s approval, but had high hopes that she would deliver a healthy child, whenever that was.

Thorin set to work immediately to build the promised garden terrace and the renovations to the royal suites, so as to incorporate the kitchen Bella wanted. 

There was also their official dwarven wedding to prepare for. Dis, who had been told of the pregnancy, took it upon herself to do much of the organising in order to allow the mother-to-be to rest as much as possible. Bella tried arguing that she felt fine, but Dis would not hear of it, arranging for visits from seamstresses, cooks, decorator and builders to be made to her chambers.

Between Thorin and Dis, who became so over-protective, Bella could hardly lift a finger for herself and it soon wore very thin. One evening, they cossetted her to the point where she stood up and yelled at them that she was not an invalid, just pregnant and that if they didn’t stop treating her as one, she would refuse to speak to them until the babe was born. Things improved after that, though Thorin still hovered, as much as he was able to.

The wedding was held with much fanfare and both Bella and Poppy got their first experience of a dwarven wedding feast. Elrond, Bard, Thranduil, Dain and their families were honoured guests. Bard got into the spirit of the occasion, though he was quickly drunk under the table, while Thranduil bore it with as much equanimity as he was able, glad to have the sober presence of Elrond alongside, who viewed the festivities with much amusement. It lasted three days, though thankfully she and Thorin left early in the evening of the first night, having announced her pregnancy, the cheers and roars of approval still ringing in their ears. If the return of their king wasn’t enough to celebrate fiercely, then an impending royal birth certainly was!

The months wore on and Bella’s girth expanded with each one. The dwarven architects had done a magnificent job with her terrace and she loved nothing more than to spend part of the day out there, tending to her plants and vegetables, reading or sitting and looking out over the view of Dale and further down, Lake Town. 

Given her pregnancy, Thorin had ensured that her duties as Queen, with Dis as her mentor, had been as light as possible. Bella was grateful for that as it gave her time to come to grips with what her position entailed before she threw herself fully into the role once the baby came.

Ten months after they arrived, Bella felt the first pains shoot across her belly. At first she thought it was just the normal pangs she had been experiencing as her body adjusted to her huge stomach. Some days she thought she would explode and she needed Thorin’s help to get out of bed in the mornings, much to his amusement. It was difficult to walk for long, so much of her time was spent out on her terrace, her handmaiden in attendance.

That had certainly been an adjustment! She had protested the need but Dis had assured her that she would come to appreciate the help as she got bigger. Evlin was a sweet, young dwarrowdam whom Bella quickly became fond of and proved Dis correct. There was no way Bella could reach some the lacings or even her feet now. Many hours were spent preparing for the baby, sewing and knitting with company of Dis, Evlin and Poppy, who had insisted she and Bofur stay until after the birth so that they could carry news back to Hobbiton, even though Bella had the ravens for that. There was no way Poppy was leaving before seeing the new prince or princess.

Now, she paced around her suite, sweaty and in pain as the labour progressed, Thorin and Dis helping support her when a contraction hit. Oin had recommended moving about to speed up the labour, only insisting she lay down for his regular checks and when the birth looked imminent.

Each time she had a contraction, she would cry out and Thorin’s face would reflect the agony and helplessness he felt as seeing his beloved wife in such pain. Bella would have comforted him if she was able to think about anything but getting through each one. 

Finally, after what seemed a lifetime to both of them, Bella gave a last almighty push, unable to prevent the animalistic sounds that came from her throat, as the baby emerged into the world.

Lying back against Thorin, panting, sweat dripping from her red face and totally exhausted, all she could focus on was the wailing of her newborn.

“Congratulations, Bella and Thorin,” pronounced Oin as Dis wiped the baby down. “You have a lovely little girl.”

“A girl!” sobbed Bella as she looked up at Thorin, who had tears rolling down his cheeks. “Thorin, we have a daughter!”

Thorin opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead he hugged her close, kissing her sweat-matted hair as they waited for Oin to ensure the baby was well and to finish up with Bella. Dis cooed and wrapped her in a soft blanket before handing the little princess to her proud parents. 

Bella eagerly reached out and took her baby in her arms for the first time. “Oh, Thorin! Look at her, she’s so beautiful,” she exclaimed, voice hoarse from her cries.

Looking down at his daughter in awe, Thorin could only nod in agreement as he reached out to touch her tiny face. Wrinkled and red from her own ordeal, the baby scrunched up her face and gave a loud wail of indignation at being summarily removed from her warm, cozy home.

“Looks like she takes after her father,” joked Bella.

“But resembles her mother,” agreed Thorin with a chuckle, his little finger securely captured by his daughter’s tiny hand – just as surely as his heart was irrevocably captured.

“She’s got your dark hair,” commented Bella. “We’ll have to wait to see who’s eyes she got, but they are quite blue, aren’t they?”

“She can have yellow eyes and she’ll still be the most beautiful baby ever beheld in Erebor,” her proud father pronounced biasedly.

Bella giggled. “I hope not, but I know what you mean. Let’s have a look at the rest of her.”

Dis and Oin, having delivered the afterbirth and changed the bedding, mainly unnoticed by the awestruck parents, left the family to themselves to get to know each other. Dis couldn’t wait to spread the news of her new niece either.

Together, Bella and Thorin unwrapped their baby and inspected her little body. Smaller than a dwarven baby, she was a little bigger than a regular hobbit newborn, according to Bella. She had a sturdier build, indicating her dwarven heritage but her feet were bigger. Her ears were larger, without the hobbit points. She looked mostly dwarven, just smaller in size.

“She’s perfect,” murmured Thorin, kissing the tiny fingers. “My perfect little daughter.”

“Here, I think she’d like her papa to hold her,” said Bella, holding the babe out, Thorin eagerly taking her in his arms.

Memories of holding his newborn nephews came to mind as he gazed down at the red-faced infant. “She’s smaller than the lads were,” he commented softly. “A petite little thing, aren’t you?” he cooed, breathing in that newborn scent. Looking up, his eyes watery, he smiled at his wife. “Thank you, my heart. For this precious, precious gift.”

Leaning up, she kissed him tenderly. “Thank you, my love. What shall we call her? I think something like Thora, would be nice. A mix of both of us. What do you think?”

Thorin looked at the babe, a gentle smile on his face. “Thora. Yes. Yes, I like it. Welcome to the world, Thora, daughter of Thorin. I pray to Mahal that you shall never know of hardship and cruelty, only love and joy. I will protect you with my very life, Thora, to the end of my days,” he vowed.

Not long after, the quiet was disturbed by their nephews and the rest of the company coming in to meet the newest resident of Erebor. To say the lads were excited was an understatement, Dis cuffing them both when they were too loud and looked like upsetting the babe. 

At Bella’s urging, Thorin let Thora be held by their friends, reluctant to let his baby go. In a few weeks, Princess Thora would be presented to the dwarves of Erebor, to much joy. The birth of females were greatly celebrated and to have a royal princess, even more so. 

The events of the day and the long labour soon took its toll on Bella, so Dis ushered everyone out, allowing Bella to rest and feed the baby, promising to bring some food shortly.

Bella fell asleep almost instantly after the feeding, leaving Thorin to cradle his daughter and regale her with tales of her mother’s adventures.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

The years passed with Bella giving Thorin two more daughters, Flora and Ruby. Being females, none of his three girls were able to inherit the throne, Fili remaining the heir, but Thorin didn’t care one bit. His daughters were his treasures and he loved them all dearly. 

The princesses were greatly loved and treasured by the dwarves of Erebor. They all shared traits of both parents as well as their personalities. Needless to say, the royal suites were very noisy during their childhoods. Their cousins Fili and Kili were favourites of theirs, the lasses often following them about when allowed to. They considered the rest of the Company their uncles, so they were never short of entertainment. Once, Bella caught Dwalin surrounded by the princesses, his hair braided with ribbons as they made him look ‘pretty’. Dwalin threatened dire consequences if she told anyone about it, but the smirks and chuckles he received from Thorin told him Bella had ignored those threats.

As they grew, potential suitors came sniffing around, much to the disgust of Thorin who threatened to use Orcrist to geld any dwarf who so much looked at his darling girls. He insisted that they learn to wield a weapon, despite eyebrows being raised by his council. He ignored them all, wanting them to be able to defend themselves in the event that he couldn’t. 

Fili eventually married a dwarrowdam, Eliana, from the Iron Hills while Kili fell in love with, of all things, an elf-maiden. Tauriel was the captain of Thranduil’s guard and he met her when Thranduil made one of his diplomatic visits to Erebor. Thorin was horrified at first, but was talked around by Bella who argued that he was not one to criticise, having married a hobbit himself. There was no argument against that, so he gave his blessing to the union. Kili and Tauriel settled in Dale, remaining close to Erebor.

As promised, the royal family did travel back to Hobbiton but it was for a very tragic reason. The Shire suffered an unseasonably wet winter one year and there was flash flooding in many parts of it. Sadly, Primula was swept away by the floodwaters and Drogo met the same fate when he tried to save her. That left their young son, Frodo, an orphan. 

Bella was nearly inconsolable when she received the news and Thorin spent many hours with his wife, trying to give her comfort while grieving himself for his lost friends. At his insistence, he ordered preparations be made for his family to travel to Hobbiton. Fili would remain to rule over Erebor, now well-versed in his future duties. Tauriel was pregnant and Kili didn’t want to leave her, so they were accompanied by the ever-faithful Dwalin, who wouldn’t trust the safety of his King, Queen and princesses to anyone else as well a small retinue of guards.

As expected, nothing much had changed in Hobbiton in the years she had been away. They were warmly welcomed by the hobbits, despite the sad reason for the visit.

Bofur, Poppy and their seven children were overjoyed to see their friends, though many tears were shed in memory of Primula and Drogo. Frodo, who had been living with Bofur and Poppy since his parent’s death, stole Bella’s heart away with his dark curls and huge blue eyes, which were way too sad for a little child.

The royal family ended up staying in Primula’s house for nearly three months and Frodo quickly became a favourite of the young princesses, who adopted him as a little brother. When it came time to return to Erebor, they begged their parents to take Frodo with them. Not wanting to do something the little lad wouldn’t be happy with, they asked him what he wanted to do. The young hobbit said he wanted to stay with them, so when they left Hobbiton, little Frodo went with them.

Over time, the dwarves of Erebor flourished. The royal family grew in size with many marriages and births. The passing of time also meant that they lost friends to old age and its effects.

Thorin’s dark locks gradually turned silver, though Bella still thought he was the most handsome dwarf ever. Bella herself grew old gracefully, surrounded by her children and grandchildren as well the numerous great nieces and nephews. 

For some reason, Bella grew to a great old age, much longer than a hobbit would expect to live but eventually time caught up with her. She passed away at the ripe old hobbit age of 113, surrounded by her beloved family and most importantly, the love of her life, Thorin. Her passing was greatly mourned by the peoples of Erebor, Dale, Rivendell and Mirkwood.

Not wanting to live without his Bella, and satisfied with the life he had lived, Thorin gladly welcomed his passing into Mahal’s halls, where he knew he would be reunited with his beloved. Mahal had blessed their marriage; he knew he would make an exception and allow Bella to await him there.

Thus, ended the journeys of both Thorin and Bella, whose lives passed into legend, but whose legacies continued on with their family.

And the ring? That was locked away in the deepest vaults of the mountain, along with the Arkenstone, with no map or location ever recorded, so that its existence was forgotten and eventually passed into myth.

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thanks to jaydee09 for her insights and help with this story. Go check out her story "All About Thorin" - a great, fun read.


End file.
